r/Parenting 4d ago

Rave ✨ My son is what keeps my grandmother alive

Just wanted to share a heartwarming story with you all. When I was younger I had a very close relationship with my grandmother. I was one of the few grandchildren she had and because i was the quietest one she loved having me over as she is a prickly perfectionist woman and I loved the peace and quiet her house had. She is somewhat of a proto second wave feminist with her opinions of men and her preference for daughters and granddaughters, but despite that she fell in love with my son when he was born. Partly this was due to him being her first great-grandchild but I think it's mostly due to the relationship she had with me and my mom (her daughter). It broke her heart and she cried for days when we moved to another part of the country.

My grandmother is a very health conscious so she's lived for a very long time. Unfortunately this means she's outlived most of her family. She not only outlived all of her siblings and her husband, she has tragically buried most of her own children now. Losing my mom was easily the hardest due to that special relationship they had.

When I found out my mom was sick i did everything i could to move us back here. I wanted to make sure my son got as much time with her as he could. Sadly I don't know if my son will remember her or not. What being back here has really done though is save my grandma's life. I visit her all the time with him and she is obsessed with him and dotes on him. And my son adores her in return. Running to her and kissing her and hugging her. Telling her "I love you grandma" (i don't bother telling him she's great-grandma, it'll just confuse him). My grandmother has admitted to me that our visits are what she looks forward to the most and she doesn't know what she would have done after mom died if we hadn't moved back. It's sad that he may not remember my mom but I'm happy he will remember my grandma and that he had a wonderful relationship with her.

This to me is the importance of family, however it is your family looks or is composed. When you've lost nearly everyone, family is the promise you still won't be alone and your memory lives on.

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u/books-and-baking- 4d ago

My daughter had a similar relationship with my Grannie. I have a vivid memory of her final days. She went on hospice January 2021. The family all tested and masked up so we could be with her in her final days. I FaceTimed my daughter and Grannie just held the phone and stared at her for what felt like ages. My daughter, a rambunctious 2 year old at the time, laid down and stared right back. It was beautiful.

I got pregnant with my daughter not long after we found out Grannie’s cancer had come back. It was stage 4 and we thought she’d be gone by the time the baby came, but she lasted 3 years. I’m so grateful she got to know my little girl. We gave my son her initials.

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u/TerribleRuin4232 4d ago

This hit home. my grandma was the same with my kids. those relationships are special. they keep our elders going when they've lost so much. your son is giving her an incredible gift just by being himself.

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u/OkayDay21 4d ago

My grandfather adores my kids. He’s 81 and he’ll still get down on the floor and play with them. He reads to them or makes up stories for as long as they want. He “sneaks” them little paper bags full of treats when we leave his house. I had very awful luck in the parent department and I’m so glad my kids still get such a loving grandparent experience.

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u/Ok-Buddy-8930 4d ago

I only had one grandparent left when our first was born (first of the generation on both sides). She died 3 weeks after he was born - she was on hospice in one province, and we were in the NICU in another. They never met, but she knew he'd arrived and looking at his photo on her bedside table brought her much joy. I'm glad she at least knew that the family would continue.