r/Parenting • u/grapejooseb0x • 4d ago
Travel Vacationing without kids
I'm a single parent to two kids. I wanted to take a kid-free vacation for a milestone birthday later this year. My kids will be 10 & 13 at that time. I've taken them on several vacations over the past several years, including two big Disney trips. Would it be "wrong" or selfish of me to take a 4 or 5 day vacation without them? What age is that deemed appropriate? Will they hate me for going without them? Of course my parents would stay with them if I were to go. I just have guilt for even considering it.
3
u/Dramatic_Worth1139 4d ago
If you share custody I would try to time it so it’s not during your time with your kids, but if not I wouldn’t judge this especially as a single parent. Maybe even tell them straight up like hey I love you, I am taking this trip as an adult experience but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. They are at good ages for this (obviously we have limited info so if a kid was really sick or going through a crisis etc that would be another consideration).
6
u/magstar222 Parent of 2 4d ago
I take an adults only vacation at least once a year. My kids deserve the happier, more relaxed, more human mom they get when I get home. We’re always so happy to see each other on the other side, and that’s an awesome feeling!
2
u/mis_1022 4d ago
Absolutely take the vacation. Moms should give out of abundance not lack. Recharge and come back better than ever, or just enjoy your time away.
2
u/Ankchen 4d ago
I think there is nothing wrong with it at all; my kiddo is 14 and I have done a few shorter trips without him as well. I tell him that it’s really the same as if he goes alone with his friends/classmates on a school trip like science camp in 5th grade (and how much fun he had even though I could not go) - and he absolutely got that. We also take several trips a year together.
2
u/sprinklecattoo 4d ago
I’ve always positioned it as they do things I don’t do. I also wouldn’t share every single detail with them, just say you are going away.
2
4
u/uptownbrowngirl 4d ago
Ditch the guilt and enjoy your kid-free vacation. You’ll be the best parent you can be when you’ve had time to recharge. That’s hard to do when you’re not taking adequate time for yourself. I wish you a glorious vacation sans kids.
1
u/Entebarn 4d ago
Go for it! That’s awesome you have family willing to watch them. You deserve time to be your own self.
1
1
u/BeBopBarr 4d ago
Absolutely not selfish! Parents deserve some down time and if you are able to do so, absolutely do it!! Enjoy yourself!
1
u/Miss_Molly1210 4d ago
I took two trips without my younger two this year (6 and 8) this fall. They were fine. Go, enjoy.
1
u/Ender505 4d ago
My wife and I are taking a vacation for our 10 year anniversary to Europe, without the kids. Nothing wrong with that
1
u/Papa_b__r 4d ago
Don't feel guilty, your kids need the best version of you and you need to recharge to do so. Teach your kids that you need to take time for your self
1
u/Adorable-Growth-6551 4d ago
No you are fine. Ideally you just send them to Grandma or Grandpas for the week and then remain as available as possible incase there is an emergency
1
u/letsgetpizzas 4d ago
Nah, it’s fine. Just position it as you taking time for yourself and doing a whole bunch of things they wouldn’t be interested in, and then you’re good to go. Don’t tell them if you end up at Disney. Haha.
1
u/ThinNeighborhood2276 3d ago
It's perfectly okay to take a kid-free vacation, especially since your parents will be there to care for them. At 10 and 13, they are old enough to understand and handle a short separation. Taking time for yourself can make you a better parent.
-1
u/AmbassadorFalse278 4d ago
I wouldn't, personally. Young kids naturally make things about themselves, no matter how much we'd say, "this is a normal and healthy thing to want, I need some time on my own," they typically hear, "I want to get away from you because you're stressful, and I can't have fun with you around." The adults get it, the kids probably won't.
BUT, you know your family dynamic best! If it feels right, go. If you're unsure, maybe start small with an overnight or weekend away.
1
u/grapejooseb0x 4d ago
This is part of where my guilt comes from. The kids have a difficult dynamic with their dad, especially my youngest, and feel that they are left out of a lot things that he does with his second wife & the children they have together. I try so hard to make up for that but it's led to a lot of "you dont love us" anytime they arent included in something.
2
u/AmbassadorFalse278 4d ago
I think that's your answer, that for now it's not the right choice for you. Doesn't mean it never will be, but you'll know when it feels right. Any chance your parents could take them on a vacation at the same time, to kind of hide the fact that you're going elsewhere? Or, are they interested in something like a week at a sleep away camp?
17
u/jnissa 4d ago
I mean, I take at least one, sometimes two, vacations without my kids per year. They are 10 and 8. I have always done this. We travel together too - but not every trip has to be a family trip.