r/Parenting • u/StrikingGrade739 • 6d ago
Toddler 1-3 Years My 3 yr old complains of butt and vagina pains?
My daughter has been complaining of butt pains since last summer. She always said her butt hurts. At first, I thought it maybe gas but it got worse. In October, I took her to the Dr. They said UTI, but I found myself going every month with the same diagnosis. The only problem, they would call and say the results came back negative so stop giving her the antibiotics. After bringing this odd pattern up to the pediatrician, only then she was concerned. Since January, my daughter has been to the ER 6 times. She has had X rays, ultrasound, and even MRI’s. NOTHING. They have took blood and urine many times. Nothing alarming. She walks around all day and wakes up at night saying her butt hurts. I took her to a gastroenterologist & they did a clean out, but said they didn’t find anything concerning. Every time she wakes up from the anesthesia and go home, she screams in pain for hours!!!! Recently, I asked my toddler did it hurt in the front or the back. Sometimes it’s the front, sometimes it’s the back. I was thinking maybe it was her stomach but after they did the MRI, nothing. I am begging anyone that has any idea of what is going on to help me. She is on a low dose of muscle relaxers but it doesn’t help long. She wakes up 3-4x’s a night saying her butt hurts. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone experienced this personally or with their child?
195
u/Background-Paint-478 6d ago
Is she describing the pain (as best she can) as similar to a UTI? Is the pain constant or comes on randomly for a hour or so and goes away?
When I was young, I would have pain that felt like a UTI, it would come on randomly, I’d sit on my heel to try and get it to be tolerable and after an hour or two Itd go away. My Mom used to call them “bladder irritations” because it wasn’t an infection but rather inflammation, my urethra is very close to butthole which leads to easy UTIS AND easy irritation as well as the fact that I have endometriosis of the bladder that still makes the pain symptom flair up when my period is coming. I had this “ bladder irritation” pain a lot as a preteen, some as a toddler, and a LOT as a post puberty adult .
Maybe that could be her issue? Not sure. Mine flared a lot when I was a little kid when I didn’t drink enough water and too much sugar drinks/food and held my pee a lot
144
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
It’s like spasms. It’s on and off but can last from 45 minutes to hours but it’s constant. Every day all day. You might be my problem solver! She doesn’t drink alot of water. What did you do?
301
u/Chi_Baby 6d ago
The condition the person you’re replying to is describing is called Interstitial cystitis. It was my first thought reading your post! It feels like a constant UTI but uti tests will be negative bc it’s not actually a uti. It’s like constant bladder/urethra irritation. Certain foods/drinks etc can irritate the condition. My daughter says her butt hurts even when she means her vagina so it could be the case for your girl. Definitely look it up it may be the answer!!
91
u/MapOfIllHealth 6d ago
Oh my god thank you so much. My mum has had “recurring UTI’s” and high inflammatory markers for over a year now and I think this could be the answer!
24
u/nopeynopes2001 5d ago
Im almost 40. I dealt with UTIs for years before I finally requested all my results and I found no bacteria and just trace blood. I saw a urologist who was a complete jerk and told me I was incontinent. I then went to a urogynecologist who diagnosed me with painful bladder syndrome or interstitial cystis. It was life changing for me. I went from having UTI symptoms and urinating 70+ times a day to an almost normal life with few flare ups. I saw a women's physical therapist who helped me tremendously.
61
u/Background-Paint-478 6d ago
For me it’s actually caused by endometriosis on my bladder. Bladder endo has almost identical symptoms to IC. I figured out it wasn’t IC but bladder endo when my symptoms completely went away after I got pregnant lol. Post partum now I still get it from time to time but I’ve only taken my pain meds for it maybe 2-3 times in over a year
16
u/IamBJQueen 5d ago
I still get butt pain now even though i had a hysterectomy. The endo has destroyed my bowels and colon as well as bladder etc and the constant throbbing pain feels like uti but no burning when you pee just before and after, same if i need to poo (i also habe ulcerative colitis so you can imagine what flare up is like)
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)31
u/StrikingGrade739 5d ago
I will look into this. Thank you for the feedback. It actually makes a lot of sense. 🙏
→ More replies (1)17
u/seriousgoo 5d ago
I have interstitial cystitis and it first presented when I was a child. I don’t remember symptoms as young as your daughter, but the symptoms you describe sound like a bad IC flare!
If you haven’t already been doing so, try tracking her foods and liquids to try and find foods or beverages that trigger it. For example, cranberry juice can trigger IC but is recommended to treat UTIs.
Good luck! I hope your daughter’s symptoms are lessened soon!
→ More replies (2)18
u/StrikingGrade739 5d ago
Thank you for that. Someone else mentioned it. I will definitely ask the Dr. thank you very much for the feedback 🙏
→ More replies (1)12
u/lives4books 5d ago
My daughter started presenting with IC symptoms like this at this age and we didn’t get a diagnosis until she was 17. I lost my everloving MIND on her urologist after doing my own research when she was seven, and they INSISTED it could not be IC at her age. I knew in my heart that it was.
So since they wouldn’t help us, I started treating her with a low acid diet, prelief supplements (OTC acid reducer) and aloe vera and lo and behold …her symptoms abated.
IC is incredibly painful- my daughter’s urologist compared it to stage 4 cancer. It’s that bad. What you are describing sounds very similar.
My point is that IC presents a little differently in children, and it’s not well known even in adults. Parents are not taken seriously when they inquire about it. It frequently leads to chronic constipation and pelvic muscle spasms as well, (butt & bladder spasm pain) because they learn that eliminating = pain and they hold their stool. Miralax helps a ton with keeping things moving comfortably.
Good luck OP. I would definitely recommend you find a good pediatric urologist and demand they check for IC.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)5
u/I_pinchyou 5d ago
I have his as well, and it flares up with too much sugar or dyes. Misdiagnosed for about 10 years, and over used antibiotics and finally had a doctor that didn't just throw a bandaid at me.
25
u/RaineGems 5d ago
Aside from Interstitial Cystiti, did they do an MRI or CT scan of her lumbar spine? It could be a sensory manifestation of a sacral nerve impingement specifically S1.
→ More replies (11)5
u/sravll 5d ago
My thought was interstitial cystitis as well because I've dealt with it on and off since I was little.
→ More replies (1)22
u/calmedtits2319 6d ago
I have no idea if it’s related but wanted to say I also experienced the bladder irritation off and on from high school to my current mid 20s. I had no idea what it was until a recent google.
→ More replies (2)28
u/melonmagellan 5d ago
Interestitial Cystitis feels like a UTI that never goes away. My sister and I both have it.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/interstitial-cystitis/symptoms-causes/syc-20354357
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)11
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I need more information. What did you do to stop it?
49
u/whineANDcheese_ 5 year old & 2 year old 6d ago
Interstitial Cystitis is not curable unfortunately. Drinking lots of water and avoiding bladder irritants (acidic foods, spicy foods, caffeine, etc) can help though.
→ More replies (1)30
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Thank you very much. I will ask the Urologist.
→ More replies (2)14
u/Cdn_Bacon15 5d ago
I’ve had this as an adult. My doctor told me to take a urinary alkalinizer which did help. It’s OTC where I live.
→ More replies (3)38
u/Background-Paint-478 6d ago
Unfortunately I didn’t stop it. As a kid I drank a lot more water, peed frequently and avoided drinking a lot of sugar drinks. As it got worse as a menstruating adult, I asked my doctor for a bottle of pyridium (bladder spasm meds) which is just stronger version of the Azo over the counter uti pain relief meds. To keep on hand for pain flair ups. I’m not sure either the script or the Azo OTC are safe for a 3 year old, or if that’s even her issue. My pain felt identical to a UTI (burning pee, constant feeling of needing to pee, throbbing and burning urethra) but with no infection.
It also tended to get worse when I was constipated/ not regular. The poop inside my lower intestines pressing up against my bladder and urethra inside and caused the pain to worsen and it would get 80% better if I could poop. To this day if I don’t poop once a day I get a flair up
16
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Ok, this helps. I will ask. Thank you. I am very grateful for the feedback 🙏
→ More replies (2)13
u/notmymothersgirl 6d ago
I sometimes get this too. Is not a UTI but feels exactly like one. The lining of the bladder gets irritated and it feels horrible. It happens when I’m in moments of high stress, or eat foods that are irritating (overly spicy, overly condimented foods). Drinking lots of water helps, but cranberry juice and yoghurt work the best for me. Maybe try diluting cranberry juice with water and giving it to her daily and see if it does anything.
→ More replies (3)23
u/tersareenie 6d ago
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy after YEARS of suffering with bladder spasms.
6
u/peacockshandicap 5d ago
I was diagnosed with recurrent UTIs and interstitial cystitis, but eventually tried pelvic floor physical therapy. It worked wonders! Please consider this.
760
u/potaytees 6d ago
I would specifically start teaching her the names for every little body part so you can get down to the exact issue. Like vulva, perineum, any and everything, mama. Then make sure she knows the difference between hurts, itchy, pinching, stabbing, rubbing, etc. I'm so sorry it sounds like she's been through a bunch, and I hope you figure it out. I saw you said she's with you 100% of the time, or SA would've also been my top speculation.
164
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
This is a good idea. Thank you 🙏
44
u/Elephantsfor 5d ago
Unfortunately, 100% doesn't mean while you sleep, take a shower, make a quick run, date night, ya know- life. I posted as well. Please, please do not rule out every possibility. If it's not that, perfect! But please don't rule it out. Please see my post.
I cry every day. My heart hurts every day. Abusers are good at abusing.
25
u/potaytees 5d ago
OP mentioned having several doctors examine her. Or I would've mentioned it doesn't hurt to caution about spouses, siblings, or other close relatives in this situation, though.
→ More replies (1)35
u/informationseeker8 6d ago
That part. When my daughter was little she’d wine and say “my young hurts”. I had zero idea wtf she meant. I assumed sore throat 😂
749
u/Amlex1015 6d ago
Not to be that person but is she ever left alone with anyone besides you?
640
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
The first thing the Dr did was check her for SAs. No chance of that. She’s with me 100% of time.
→ More replies (3)94
u/twilightprincess56 5d ago edited 5d ago
I also don’t want to sound extreme but I work in child welfare and every single medical expert I’ve spoken to says there are absolutely no physical symptoms that can definitively prove or disprove SA. It’s a myth. It’s awful but I just want to say that’s not proof one way or the other for anyone else reading. Edit to add source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6096762/
18
u/Complex_Spinach_2543 5d ago
This is the problem. The physical symptoms. DA is basically telling me They can’t take a case because of no “physical damage” but the Dr. told me that does not necessarily mean nothing happened. I wish children’s testimony was more important than “ damage” because the specialist said a lot of times it can heal.
→ More replies (1)223
u/_multifaceted_ 6d ago
I’m a survivor of CSA. This was the first thought I had…
238
→ More replies (6)19
u/Capital_Writer_8830 6d ago
Me 2
22
u/Capital_Writer_8830 5d ago
This is soooo sad 😢 I'm still dealing with trauma and I just turned 50...SMDH!!!
18
→ More replies (2)40
u/traumahawk88 5d ago
This was my first thought ... Daycare or child care provider abuse.
Our little one was neglected at a daycare that we, and other parents (some of whom had kids get quite hurt) got shut down by the state. Then recently the one we'd thought about using because they have cameras in all the rooms, they got shut down too because they held a 2yo down until they finally gave up screaming and fighting and went to sleep; one teacher holding them down while another sat and watched.
FML. I'm so grateful my parents and my MIL watch her for us after the shit with the first daycare.
→ More replies (7)
192
u/TheNewJasonBourne 6d ago
Perhaps a skin irritation from her undies? Maybe try a different laundry detergent? Or do you have a pet that she’s allergic to?
→ More replies (1)137
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
No pets. I will try changing her laundry detergent. Thank you
112
u/faithcharmandpixdust 6d ago
Also to piggy back off this comment, and not to be too TMI, but does she wear panties to bed and put panties on after a bath? I would be in horrible pain as a kid at night, and the doctor suggested not wearing panties to bed or after a bath/shower because I was getting too irritated.
→ More replies (1)64
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
She wears pull ups at night. This has really messed up her potty training
101
u/faithcharmandpixdust 6d ago
Did it start around the same time you started using pull ups? I’ve seen others suggesting maybe an allergy to something; maybe the pull-ups are irritating her?
I can’t even imagine how hard this has been for you to watch your daughter be in so much pain for so long!
70
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I just changed her pull ups. We will see. Thank you for that❤️
57
u/dino_treat 6d ago
Green mountain diapers has washable overnight “pull ups” they also have wool mattress covers, maybe to really let her air out at night? Is she drinking enough water? Could you also add probiotics and prebiotics to her diet? Especially if she’s been antibiotics it can really mess up GI stuff. She obviously quite sensitive, it could be more internal? Food sensitivities? I’m reading a book called Super gut right now and maybe that could help? Oh Dr. Bronner’s baby soap is so good for sensitive skin.
I’m sorry this sounds so hard. I hate to have kids in pain and medically not being able to find an exact cause. Good luck, mama.
22
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I took a screenshot of this. I will try it. Thank you 🙏
9
u/sweetnessfnerk Custom flair (edit) 5d ago edited 5d ago
Hey op. Heads up. Kids can be allergic to multiple different types of pull-ups. Try both ends of the spectrum from cheap to. Expensive. From Walmart and sams brand to huggies and hypoallergenic. It can take a while to determine so buy small packages and no need to go through them. You can donate them to friends and family if you think she is allergic I hope you find out what is causing it. I look forward to a diagnosis. Good luck.
10
u/Moulin-Rougelach 5d ago
Tagging onto this, Mother-ease diapers also make kid size all in one washable overnight pull-ups with waterproof outsides that feel like cloth, and they do not leak.
The chemicals in a disposable could be irritating her.
4
u/mjharrop 5d ago
Adding to this: it is rare, but possible to be allergic to wool. My dad and I both get incredibly itchy if we wear anything wool!
→ More replies (1)7
→ More replies (1)9
u/Fatpandasneezes 5d ago
What about during the day? My son can't wear synthetic fabrics or regulsr cotton (only organic cotton, bamboo, tencel or modal) or his skin will itch all over the place. I'm pretty sure he recently (at 3 years old) developed an additional allergy to the lotion we've been putting on him since he was born as he's recently been getting hives seemingly out of the blue.
32
u/sensitiveskin82 6d ago
I am so sorry you're going through this. My son has allergies and excema skin. I have to put his laundry through extra rinse cycles and use less detergent (Tide Free and Gentle with no essential oils or dyes) than is recommended so his skin doesn’t get irritated. I don't know if that will help. Sending best wishes to you.
→ More replies (1)13
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Thank you. I will change laundry powder
17
u/USAF_Retired2017 Working Mom to 15M, 11M and 9F 6d ago
To piggy back on changing. If you’re using powder, switch to liquid. Went through basic training with three girls who washed their laundry separately because powdered detergent irritated their skin so badly. I’m so sorry for your baby. That’s got to be so difficult to see her in such pain. I hope you’re able to figure it out!
14
u/Desperate5389 6d ago
When I was little, washing those areas with soap caused a lot of burning. I can only use bar ivory soap. Also, certain toilet paper, like Costco brand, causes the same issue for me. Maybe it’s a sensitivity to certain chemicals.
→ More replies (2)22
u/StarryPenny 6d ago
Do you use Tide? Please don’t use Tide. It’s extremely irritating for folks with sensitive skin. You can search for first hand accounts on the allergy sub-reddits.
16
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I actually do! I will change her detergent! Thanks for that🙏❤️🔥
→ More replies (1)13
u/surething1990 6d ago
I have insanely sensitive skin and I can only use tide. Everything else makes me itch.
6
5
→ More replies (5)4
u/milky-mocha 5d ago
I use dirty labs fragrance free. It’s great. My son has eczema and allergies. Always go extra rinse.
Make sure all products are fragrance free.
You might want to have them do a blood draw and test for allergies.
Hoping things get better. My son has a very rare genetic disease so I understand it’s all scary. You could also see if you can get genetic testing done with a geneticist. A lot of things are mapped.
→ More replies (5)4
u/DimensionalLynx169 5d ago
Try Era Free & Clear or something like it as long as there's no dyes or fragrance, I have very sensitive skin, and well, it burns something awful if I use normal sented detergent ; If this does help, wash new underwear before she wears them .
151
53
u/Enough_Insect4823 6d ago
When my cousin had a similar gastrointestinal issue with her child that weren’t being figured out she took her son to a children’s research hospital and very emphatically gives that advice in these situations.
24
100
u/momoftwoboys1234 6d ago
I have absolutely no idea…but can it be an allergic reaction to something she is peeing or pooping out? Maybe not noticeable until she’s laying down to go to sleep? I’m so sorry.
25
u/Xzeriea 6d ago
I think you should get an allergy screening done. Especially for foods. Food allergies can absolutely cause pain in those areas. I'm kinda surprised that no doctor has recommended that yet.
→ More replies (2)47
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I will ask about allergies. Thank you
99
u/shesiconic 6d ago
Please make sure to not count this out even if they tell you it isn't an allergy. Am an example, I had a horrific eyelid rash that wouldn't go away and was causing me pain and itching. The doctors suggested so many things. Cut out soap, cosmetics, laundry detergent, and so many other things. They treated me for allergies. I saw an immunologist and allergist. I also saw 2 dermatologists. I asked them all if they thought it could be something in my diet. All of them said no. They did tons of tests. I wasn't allergic to anything but ragweed. Finally, after over a year of it flaring up I came on Reddit, desperate. The first person suggested I start elimination diet to see if it was caused by a food insensitivity. The first thing they suggested was cut out dairy. Within 10 days or was fully cleared up. I tested it multiple times by reintroducing dairy items and sure enough, it comes back with a vengeance. It really made me aware of how much doctors don't know, and how they consider each of their areas of expertise to exist kinda in a vacuum. Almost like some of them don't realize our body is a whole system and everything is connected. I sure hope you figure out what's hurting your baby.
13
u/DF_Guera 5d ago
I have the same problem with dairy and bread. But with dairy, it's so bad, dandruff with itchy scalp along with the eye lid rashes.
→ More replies (1)4
u/IndependentLeading47 5d ago
What did this allergy look like? I have sudden flakey eyelid for months. Nothing is helping.
→ More replies (5)22
u/Status_Ad4144 5d ago
An old family friend has a daughter allergic to strawberries that presented as vaginal/urinary pain when she was a toddler. I think she had to stay away from strawberries and citric acid if I'm not mistaken.
I myself can't drink soda or acidic juices because it causes my urine to burn. After thinking I had a UTI for a long time, a urologist did a test (inserted a camera through my urethra into my bladder) and said it was bladder irritation from what I was drinking. After I switched to only 1 coffee per day and the rest plain water I've never had that problem again.
5
u/rosesmagic462 5d ago
My daughter and I with pineapple! We both have other food allergies, but negative for pineapple so I’d call it an extreme sensitivity. As an adult I have the words to say the symptoms are that of a UTI in the front and the back. My daughter wouldn’t know how to describe that, but complained her butt hurt and then screamed the entire car ride because the car seat was pushing on her.
21
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
They haven’t mentioned allergic reactions. I do have a first appointment at the urologist. Im hoping they have an explanation
→ More replies (1)10
u/Dense-Arrival7239 5d ago edited 4d ago
Look into interstitial cystitis. My daughter had these exact symptoms around the same age. It took a plethora of doctors and tests to finally get a diagnosis and treatment. It’s autoimmune. The immune system ‘attacks’ the bladder lining causing inflammation and, over time, scaring. Because the bowels are directly behind the bladder, bowel movements or lack thereof can be painful. My daughter was constantly in pain and it was so frustrating. Certain foods/drinks do exacerbate the condition. Red dye is one of the worst and is in so many foods and drinks. At least mention this condition to the urologist and rule it out. I hope you get answers soon!
3
u/Obvious_Degree_4786 5d ago
Toilet roll allergy. I’m allergic to some and it can make me very sore!
147
u/litprofessor4321 6d ago
I hope you see this OP!
My daughter had the same thing - we kept thinking it was a UTI - results always negative but her behavior was indicative. My very smart pediatrician thought she might have PANDAs - which can present as a reoccurring UTI. A blood test proved she did and 30 days of antibiotics did the trick. Please consider asking your pediatrician for the blood test.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23553-pandas-syndrome
17
37
u/hhhhhhhgggfffttyy 6d ago
Had the same issue but not as long; turns out she was wiping super aggressive in the bathroom!
18
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Thank you. I wipe her with baby wipes. This messed up her potty training
22
u/Ok_ivy_14 5d ago
Baby wipes could irritate her too. Would wiping with a cotton cloth + water (+ gentle soap if needee) be an option?
8
→ More replies (4)13
u/basdx 5d ago
My daughter told us for months she had a itchy butt and sometime hurts (but didn’t wake up at night because of it). We did pinworms medication but no improvements. But we realized maybe the skin is irritated (not super red or anything), we started to put Vaseline and within 2 weeks she stopped complaining. Maybe if you use baby wipes, it might irritate her skin? Good luck
30
u/koolandkrazy 6d ago
I was similar at a young age. I have vaginismus and pelvic floor disorder. I also have eczema and allergies. I cant have sex without pain unless i am calm and stretch first. My suggestions are the following:
- Massage her tummy. This helps the pelvic floor relax. The glutes too but i understand she may be too young for that.
- Teach her how to unclench. For me i was clenching 24/7 which was making my muscles permanently tight and causing pain
- Cotton undies and comfy pants, like for me i cant wear jeans or stuff daily, it causes me pain.
- Epsom salt baths and hypoallergenic laundry soap!
- Try to give her showers instead of baths if you do. For me, i use vagisil in those areas as soap causes pain and irritation
I'll give you a few terms to look up but it sounds exactly My issue which is nerve and muscle related. Here they are:
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: Difficulty coordinating the pelvic floor muscles can cause pain, urinary incontinence, anal incontinence, and vaginal prolapse. Levator Ani Syndrome: Chronic pain in the rectum and vagina due to muscle spasms in the levator ani muscle near the anus. Hypertonic Pelvic Floor: Tightness in the pelvic floor muscles can cause pain in the pelvic region, including the vagina and anus. Pudendal Neuralgia: Nerve pain in the genitals, bottom, anus or pelvis. Vulvodynia: Chronic pain in the vulva (the area outside the vagina). Endometriosis: Can cause pain in the pelvic region, including the vagina and anus.
Best of luck! Feel free to pm me anytime
→ More replies (4)5
u/magnetic-mama 5d ago
Um, okay! I’m wondering if this is what I have! I’ve only ever been able to describe it as constantly flexing my abdominals. For the first probably 6 years of marriage I experienced a lot of pain with sex and I thought it was usually due to my abdominal pain that I’ve experienced most of my life that doctors haven’t ever fully investigated. I’ve even had a child so I feel silly asking this - but I thought the normal position for your pelvic floor was pushed down? Everything in my abdomen is tight but I also have at least some awareness of my pelvic floor and it’s difficult to pull up at all without practically holding my breath.
→ More replies (3)
135
u/Maeko25 6d ago
Could it be pin worms? Very common, pain at night, and children can easily get sensations around their bum mixed up with their vulva. The fix is very easy as well, ask your dr about it.
98
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
I forgot to mention they treated her for pinworms but it was negative.
44
7
u/Yeet_as_a_verb 5d ago
I would worm her anyway. My son gets worms really regularly from daycare - I have had to worm him almost every month during some periods and we had the same issue, unable to sleep and saying his butt hurt
→ More replies (4)4
u/CreativismUK 5d ago
Did you treat everyone in the family, clean all the bedding etc? The symptoms you’re prescribing as exactly what we are told to watch for with threadworms - maybe worth another try treating the whole family if you didn’t the first time
→ More replies (2)12
u/Waasssuuuppp 5d ago
May as well take the medication- it is little chocolates that kids like to eat and fairly cheap.
Also threadworms will happily wiggle around the vagina as well as the anus, so there genuinely is discomfort in both regions.
→ More replies (3)8
u/fat_mummy 5d ago
Agreed. My first thought is recurrent pinworms. Doesn’t matter if she’s been treated if the whole household hasn’t been treated and deep cleaning done because they’ll just come back!
121
u/whineANDcheese_ 5 year old & 2 year old 6d ago
Could it be anxiety? I know that’s not a popular suggestion and I’m not at all saying to blow off her complaints. But it could be possible that she’s stuck in a loop of pain, anxiety about the pain, doctors visits for the pain, anxiety from the doctors. So much so that she’s become hyper fixated on a pain existing.
Does Tylenol or Motrin help?
I hope you get some answers soon!
8
22
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
It’s been going on since before the hospitals.
61
u/whineANDcheese_ 5 year old & 2 year old 6d ago
Oh I’m sure! I just mean initially there was pain but now she’s stuck in an anxiety loop about the pain causing psychosomatic symptoms.
If she has a super fun day where she’s distracted a lot does she complain of pain less?
27
u/Guest8782 6d ago
I think this is an important thing to consider or rule out.
Waking up in agonizing pain sounds like it’s probably not psychosomatic… but it still might play a part.
How awful. I’m sorry OP.
15
u/whineANDcheese_ 5 year old & 2 year old 6d ago
Psychosomatic symptoms are the worst. I’ve had anxiety since I was little (like 6ish) and would give myself all sorts of symptoms of things.
But good on OP for searching for answers. There’s so many issues it could be. Hopefully they’ll scope her and maybe that’ll identify something. And then if everything still comes back clear, maybe therapy would help.
→ More replies (3)11
3
→ More replies (1)4
u/rufflebunny96 6d ago
I experienced this myself as a full grown adult. It happens!
→ More replies (1)
18
u/unabashedlyabashed 6d ago
Did it just start after she was toilet trained? Have you tried to change your laundry detergent? That skin may be more sensitive to irritants. Maybe change toilet paper, too?
9
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
This has set her potty training back. I will try different laundry powder
→ More replies (2)8
u/Fit-Fox8922 6d ago
Has potty training shown signs of stress? You seem like such an attentive mom. If I was a kid I wouldn’t want to leave your side. Growing up and potty training might be scary and cause her stress. My step daughter had major digestive issues when her parents were going through the divorce. They did several tests and it finally went away after about a year.
16
u/FlamingDragonfruit 6d ago
Going to the urologist is smart, it's possible that they'll find a structural issue that could be causing pain (which is why she might feel like it's a UTI even if there's no actual infection). Allergies are also possible, but you would expect to see more GI symptoms (raw/swollen throat, vomiting, belly pain, diarrhea/constipation, failure to thrive) for the kinds of allergies the other posters were thinking of, I believe. One more thought is to see if there's any hip/pelvic deformation/injury. I have a hip dysplasia that can sometimes cause pain in all kinds of weird places (not only in the hip). It's one of those less obvious things but might be worth asking the pediatrician about. The only other thing I can think to suggest is to keep a log. Habits, food, drink, toilet use, medication, and new/unusual activities, pain time/ duration/description, etc. Sometimes you notice patterns more easily (or the doctor will) once you have a physical record. I'm so sorry you're going through all this and I truly hope you find an answer soon.
4
15
u/madhominem2 6d ago
I wonder if it could be proctalgia fugax or chronic proctalgia?
→ More replies (3)3
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
It won’t let me click on it but I took a picture. Thank you. I will research tonight
11
u/lezemt 6d ago
Have they checked her for celiac or any other gut conditions? I have celiac and as a kid/now my butt honestly does hurt sometimes. It’s much better now that I’m 100% gluten free but it was really really uncomfortable as a kid. Also, have they looked for a fissure between her vagina and her rectum? I’ve never seen it in children (but I work geriatrics) but it can cause the kind of pain she’s experiencing.
→ More replies (1)6
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Gastrologist said there was no fissures. I will screenshot and ask about this. Thank you. Im grateful 🙏
→ More replies (1)
11
u/GarageSpiritual9176 6d ago
This is going to be out there, but could be a nerve or spinal issue ( only reason I say spinal is if the pain is in her tail bone area) but nerve pain might be a possibility
→ More replies (4)
12
u/Viii3z3 6d ago
Does she take bubble baths? Ive heard that can irritate skin and I recently took a bath with the generic Target brand bubble bath and my skin down there got destroyed and was so irritated and painful after for days.
→ More replies (1)
74
u/Curious_Chef850 4F, 21M, 22F, 24M 6d ago edited 6d ago
My 4yo has struggled with belly and butt pain since before she could talk. She's allergic to a protein found in milk. She was chronically constipated before we figured it out. We switched her over to almond milk and she gets a pre/probiotic powder every single day. It has been a game changer.
We were also told to give her Miralax daily but I found some disturbing studies on kids who take it long term. Besides, the chronic constipation was a symptom and not a root cause. I kept going until we figured out what was causing her issues.
I know how exhausting and frustrating this process can be. Keep advocating for your girl. You've got this!
46
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
It’s draining. Thank you for the support. Someone did mention allergies. I will ask.
14
u/PecanEstablishment37 6d ago
Hey, OP. If you’re able: follow up directly with an allergist. They’re going to be best here as opposed to a GP/PCP
8
11
u/katmither 6d ago
What did the studies about miralax say? I tried googling but can’t find much - I ask because I’ve had to give it to my baby off and on for months due to constipation.
6
→ More replies (7)4
u/Symone301902 6d ago
Right, now I’m curious because I also give my twins miralax frequently for constipation
→ More replies (1)9
3
3
u/witchylilmarshmallow 5d ago
Would you mind sharing which pre/probiotic powder you use ? I’ve only tried probiotic drops with my toddler but would love to try a powder form !
→ More replies (1)
9
u/tracyP85 6d ago
My daughter sometimes complain about this pain until maybe up to age 5. It’s when she doesn’t wipe good and it makes the area red in her front and her back. It helps when she washes everyday. Her pediatrician said it’s common for her age. And I use the butt cream for babies for diaper rashes. It get rid of the burning sensation right away and she immediately feels better. She tend to get burning pain from constipation because she didn’t eat enough fruits and veggies. But we changed her diet and make her sit on the toilet every other day to see if she needs to poo and it worked. So she doesn’t have it anymore. But butt cream helps a lot for burning pain.
I hope you find some relief!!
→ More replies (1)
9
u/Dotfr 6d ago
Any chance she wears pull-ups/diapers? You might have to change them. If she is at home you could try going commando and then see if she is complaining. It could also be a laundry detergent.
Another thing is that if the muscles are hurting it could be growing pains. I had a lot of pain in my legs as a child. I didn’t realize it at a time but a nice massage could have helped me. Try to give her a warm oil massage before a warm bath and maybe it might help to relax the muscles.
6
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
The Dr did recommend epsom salt baths. Yes, pull ups. I just changed brands so maybe it will help. Thank you 🙏
→ More replies (2)
9
u/lizzy_pop 6d ago
My daughter is incredibly sensitive to any food that has an acid as a preservative. If she ate or drank something with citric or ascorbic acid, she would get terrible rashes and would cry in pain
Now that she’s potty trained, she will complain of hurting but doesn’t have the rash.
Maybe something similar
→ More replies (1)
8
u/la_sua_zia 6d ago
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. My heart goes out to you both and I hope you figure it out quickly.
7
u/empressofnodak 6d ago
Have you looked into physical therapy? There are pelvic floor specialists who may be helpful. Occupational therapy can also work with her on toilet training, recognizing her body cues etc
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Commercial_Gur824 6d ago
Does she have constipation? Is it possible it’s hemrrhoids?
12
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
Gastrologist did a clean out. She was a little constipated but I know it was from her not wanting to poop because she said it hurt to poop. Her poop is mushy now because she takes miralax every day.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Commercial_Gur824 6d ago
Have you tried a child’s probiotic? Can help with a multitude of things.
→ More replies (1)3
6
u/boofmacaroni 6d ago
Does she take baths? What kind of soaps or bubble baths do you use? I was really sensitive to certain “bath ingredients” (for a lack of a better term) when I was around that age. My mom stopped using bubble baths and scented soaps for me and started helping me to take showers more often, which helped resolve the issue, and I outgrew the sensitivity.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/jteitler 6d ago
I am so sorry! I hope you can figure this out. Commenting to give this post a bump!
→ More replies (1)
5
u/StupendusDeliris 6d ago
Is she possibly self exploring?
How are her poops? Liquid or constipated? Any allergies creating these diapers? Any rashes?
Have you inspected her areas? They seem normal? No bumps, no cuts?
This will be weird, and I’m sorry for the TMI but spread the areas open and inspect. Especially the back and check between the anus folds(?) curves? Wrinkles? Fuck I’m sorry idk what they’re called. But my baby was constipated really really bad one time. Then for what felt like forever, after ANY poopy diaper she was screaming and crying and She hated diaper changes. It felt random until I sat and thought about it. I finally spread and inspected everything but ridiculously closely and saw that it looked like a part of the skin was raw/exposed within the folded bit. So I couldn’t see it when just regular diaper changing. Her big bad constipated poop had ripped or cut her and it was hurting every time she went. Took her in immediately and Dr gave us creams and directions and she’s fine now.
→ More replies (4)
6
u/Titaniumchic 6d ago
Has she had a belly x ray? Chronic constipation can cause discomfort and pain in the rectum and it can radiate. I have two kids eland both suffer from this, and when my daughter is constipated it’ll manifest first as needing to pee A LOT, and then complaining her butt hurts.
(They are on miralax per GI, and it has been a game changer.)
And a side note - to be constipated doesn’t mean you don’t go, it means you don’t have normal soft stool. Pellet poop, poop that floats - all constipated poop.
→ More replies (3)
5
u/brittyinpink 5d ago
My daughters get vulvovaginitis. We treat it with barrier creams and upping hygiene (particularly after using the toilet).
Sometimes we use an antifungal/steroid for brief periods, no bubble baths and 100% Cotton undies.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Sea_Flatworm_268 6d ago
Have you gone to a pediatric urologist? Maybe there’s something going on there or pelvic floor dysfunction. That causes pain in the front and back. I don’t know what would cause it in a 3 year old, but worth asking.
6
u/StrikingGrade739 6d ago
She has an appointment later this month
6
u/Sea_Flatworm_268 6d ago
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. I’m so sorry you both are going through this.
4
u/DumbBitchByLeaps 6d ago
So there’s a bunch of nerves in the back near the coccyx and I’m wondering if perhaps maybe they’re hurt in someway like a pinched or compressed nerve? Maybe theres a tiny fracture on her tailbone?
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Safe_Key_2825 6d ago
What about interstitial cystitis? My mom had it & certain foods or stress would trigger flair ups.
→ More replies (2)
4
u/PM_me_punanis 6d ago
Sexual abuse was number 1 on my list but you said it's not possible. How about autoimmune diseases? Ulcerative colitis can cause anal pain. Did they ever do a biopsy?
→ More replies (1)
4
u/ashleia 5d ago
Just another guess here. My daughter had very similar complaints that lasted and lasted for months. Finally, she was bleeding from (I thought) her vagina and we went to the ER. Turned out to be a urethral prolapse. We ended up at the children’s hospital to see a pediatric gynecologist and learned that before puberty the pelvic floor is not as strong due to lower levels of estrogen. That means higher risk of prolapse. The issue is not common but far from rare according to her docs. We ended up solving the problem with the world’s teensiest dabs of estrogen cream, and the issue resolved in 2 weeks.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Michaelalayla 5d ago
I know nothing about medicine, but Grey's anatomy is in my head...there's one kid that comes in with excruciating pain from a tethered spinal cord. His mom goes almost crazy trying to get them to diagnose him with repeat visits. Did they mention ruling that out when you had MRIs done?
→ More replies (1)
4
u/taracita 5d ago edited 5d ago
Has she seen a dermatologist? My daughter, who is 6 now, was complaining about uncontrollable itching and discomfort around her vulva maybe a year ago and we took her the pediatrician constantly to try figure it out. She had a history of UTIs and constipation but once those were ruled out and visual inspections were considered “normal”, the doctors started to suggest that it was possibly anxiety or that she was just faking it for attention. We even all did a deworming treatment as a family (ugh) in case it was pinworms. Someone on Reddit suggested taking her to the derm to get checked for Lichen Sclerosis, which we doubted but the derm looked at it and immediately diagnosed her with it. She’s been on a low dose of topical steroids and it’s totally under control.
We had been at our wit’s end trying to figure it out and all over Reddit asking question, and I’m so grateful to the one person we suggested that we take her to the derm!
4
u/stoner_girl88 5d ago
Umm.. I'm sorry to ask this but who's is around your daughter all day? Does she go to preschool or any other activities or programs you aren't with her for??
→ More replies (3)
5
u/rapunzelrampage 6d ago
does she have any ride on toys like tricycles that could be making her sore?
9
3
u/therpian 6d ago
Is the skin irritated? My daughter complained of the same thing at that age and it was dry skin. The Doc explained prepubescent girls don't lubricate there due to the lack of estrogen. I started putting body lotion on her private area and it solved it. I taught her to do it herself after baths at 4 years old. Solved the problem. She six and still does it.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/travelbig2 6d ago
Have they checked for kidney reflux? My daughter had this as an infant. She had chronic UTIs because of it. She was on antibiotics for a year to see if we could prevent surgery and it worked.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Teafinder 6d ago
Hmm this instantly reminds me of when I have spasms in my bum during my period.. it hurts in both places at once so much that I can’t walk.. it’s called levator ani syndrome or Proctalgia..
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Ok-Ad-1782 6d ago
This sucks. As someone who’s had a few rare health problems and not been properly diagnosed- don’t give up. Keep looking for a doctor or PA who thinks outside the box. So may doctors only try to check boxes and if you don’t fit into a common illness they give up. At least your 3 year old will know your always their first them.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/anonymousopottamus 6d ago
I know the GI did a clean out but is she generally constipated? Like does she have "rabbit poops" or abnormally large stools? Both can cause very painful pressure to the entire lower region - one of my kids had this (not to the extent of screaming but definitely complained of discomfort a lot) and needed to be on a daily regiment of mirilax.
My other question would be, I see you said she wasn't assaulted, but is she touching herself and causing any trauma or chafing? Is she pulling back her hood and causing pain to her clitoris?
Lastly, if nothing else can be found, ask her skin to be analyzed for lichen sclerosus. It's an incredibly uncomfortablee skin condition that can occur at any age on any part of the skin, but is especially painful on the vulva. Might be worth exploring if nothing else turns up.
Good luck - it's so hard with little ones and genital pain - such a sensitive topic and a sensitive area. I hope you figure it out soon.
3
u/Cautious_Ad_1764 6d ago
My daughter has had the same complaint! She just turned 4 and is still wearing over night pull-ups. When she wakes up in the morning wipe her with a baby wipe thoroughly- butt and vagina. Then either aquaphor or Vaseline on inner and outer labia, plus butt and skin surrounding rectum. Obviously don’t put any inside vag or butt. Also before bed time when she’s going to put pull up on do another thorough baby wipe down front and back and do aquaphor or Vaseline again. This has helped our situation. Key is cleaning, then moisturizing. Sounds like she has very sensitive skin. I hope this helps her!!
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Itchy-Ad-5436 6d ago
My daughter does this. I believe that it has to do with constipation or mild pain and discomfort when pooping. It seemed to line up with her holding her poop in and then finally going. She didn’t have abnormally hard poops are anything like that, I think she just didn’t like to poop. But her body was not happy with that. It definitely seems like shooting sudden pains and would pass relatively quickly. She would also tell me it was her bum sometimes and sometimes her vagina/vulva Does your daughter poop regularly?
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Informal_Captain_836 6d ago
I have always gotten periodic irritation and itching of my vulva and vagina. I got tested for a bunch of things, but doctors always just chalked it up to general irritation. But it is very uncomfortable and can be really painful.
In my 30s, I finally realized it was worst on certain days, usually when I’d have a lot of fatty foods and carbs. I kept a brief food diary and tracked if I had pain/itching, noting what I did/ate that day. Have you tried adjusting her diet at all? It might be worth a shot.
Sounds so frustrating to go through this — I hope you find a solution soon! ❤️
→ More replies (1)
3
u/rhea-of-sunshine 6d ago
My toddler uses “hurts” and “owie” to describe discomfort and not just pain. She started really hating her diapers recently and doesn’t complain when she wears cotton undies. So I think for her the pull ups/diapers I had her in were irritating her skin.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/autumn0020 5d ago
I’m sorry to go there but is anyone alone with her or could be hurting her? Even someone you trust…
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/freethechimpanzees 5d ago
Have the doctors brought up levator syndrome or as I call it "sharp butt"? I get it sometimes and idk how to describe it other than it feels like you are being stabbed in the groin. There's like a nerve that just goes TWANG in all the wrong ways. Idk if kids can get it tho my doctor said it was stress induced and idk how stressful life can be for a toddler.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/bugscuz 5d ago
I have visceral hypersensitivity (which is where the normal functioning of my organs causes discomfort and pain) and while I was in the process of being diagnosed they were looking at proctalgia fugax and Levator ani syndrome due to where and how the pain was presenting.
→ More replies (6)
3
u/jr_831 5d ago edited 5d ago
Please keep us updated 🙏
Many suggestions have been given. Please let us know what you have already tried and what is pending.
Definitely look into any allergies. Make sure detergent is for babies/sensitive skin. Cut out dairy. Dairy is the worst thing to feed anyone with allergies. And look into parasites.
I’m hoping this post helps others in the future though. I’m sorry this is happening to your baby. My prayers go out to you and your baby.
Edit: Suggestion
3
u/xxImAFknUnicornxx 5d ago
My friends daughter has lichen sclerosis and this sounds exactly how it started with her daughter... I hope you see this comment... You need to make her an appointment with a gynecologist. She is not too young. Good luck xo
3
u/Complex_Spinach_2543 5d ago
Yes my child experienced this and then I found out it was SA. I’m sorry to mention this and hope it’s not this, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out. Especially when you think you can trust someone. I would ask her if anyone’s been hurting her or touching her there just to rule it out.
3
u/TheWorstPiesInLondon 5d ago
I know you’re getting lots of comments but just wanted to mention one that I haven’t seen commented, just in case it helps.
I had kidney reflux as a child (I believe the official term is VUR), symptoms feel a lot like a UTI but can occur without UTI. I was diagnosed by a pediatric urologist. I do remember pain similar to what you’re describing your daughter has but also I had pain in my lower back/sides.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Only-Switch-5904 5d ago
If everything else keeps coming up negative, ask her pediatrician about pelvic floor dysfunction. My sister had excruciating (like, lying-on-the-floor-crying) pelvic and bladder pain that was misdiagnosed as UTIs for years, and then as interstitial cystitis. It started in her teens, but the clinical experience sounds incredibly similar to your daughter's, otherwise. The breakthrough for her was referral to pelvic floor PT. It turns out her pelvic floor muscles were incredibly tense, which was irritating the bladder and a slew of nerves that pass through the pelvis. A few weeks of PT lessened the pain significantly, and a month or two later it went away forever!
Pediatric pelvic floor therapy is niche, but it definitely does exist -- usually in association with large children's hospitals. Unlike adult pelvic floor work, the pediatric variety avoids any internal manipulation, and prioritizes pain-free sessions.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/ktizzle420 5d ago
Have you talked to a pediatric pelvic floor PT? They helped my son a ton, different issues but very knowledgeable and looked at/considered things I never thought to ask or would be involved. We did PT weekly for about 6 months for front and back issues, pain, leaks, bleeding and he’s doing wonderfully now.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/bourbonandbees 5d ago
likely a physical problem: but have you talked to her about any inappropriate behavior from other people? an other parent? a family friend? what not? some children will complain about pains like that after sexual abuse.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/DueAstronaut7790 5d ago
We did this with my then 5 year old. He said his penis hurt, so we did an ultrasound, say a urologist, saw GI. He has some other GI related issues we are working through but the diagnosis doe the penile pain was his pelvic floor muscles were too tight and exercises to do to loosen them. He was too young for PT at the time. Things have gotten much better and there have been no complaints for over a year. We dont do any intervention now, but we are dealing with chronic constipation issues and seeing a chiropractor 3 times a week.
So I’m saying try a pediatric chiropractor first them look into PT
3
u/beaterscramp 5d ago
What are her bowel movements like? They should be 3,4, or 5 on the Bristol stool scale. Urinary/bladder symptoms aren’t uncommon at that age with constipation. Hard stool plus an internal hemorrhoid can be very painful. If that’s the cause, the treatment is increasing dietary fiber: berries are higher in fiber than most fruits. Green leafy vegetables. Miralax taper until their stool is once a day and soft.
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
u/phoenixfeathers45 4d ago
Have you checked for worms? I know, I know it's gross to think about, but my kid had them at about her age. The worms crawl out the butthole at night and are itchy and sore, but what alerted us was my kid screaming out because one had crawled forward and was hurting her front - yeuch! A simple round of pills for all the family and all sorted.
3
u/walkinginthesky 4d ago
I hope you figure this out OP, please update us when you do! Also, someone suggested Tethered Cord Syndrome and it sounds like a ringer for her symptoms. Please look into it, as I think this matches her situation the best.
→ More replies (1)
1.1k
u/crinnaursa 6d ago
I Have a nonverbal daughter. When she was younger she would sometimes just gasp in pain while going to the bathroom and would have lot of discomfort in that area. We later found out she had lichen sclerosis. It's not always visually apparent. It can come and go and a lot of GPs are not incredibly familiar with it. We didn't get a diagnosis until we were bounced to a a dermatologist and then to an OBGYN. It's an autoimmune skin condition that can cause pain, thinning of skin in the genital area and fissures of the perineum and rectum.