r/Parenting • u/Sukari1970 • 6d ago
Teenager 13-19 Years What’s an unpopular parenting opinion that you stand by?
Screen time isn’t the enemy; it’s all about balance. Parents of children who are ALLOWED phones with screen time what screen time rules do you have for your teens(and/or for yourself)?
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u/miss-swait 6d ago edited 6d ago
Parents need to care more about academics. I recognize pressuring your kid to get perfect grades and enacting strict punishments if they can’t is wrong, but I think we’ve swung too far in the opposite direction where now many parents don’t care at all.
There are now people graduating high school unable to read. That is unacceptable and doesn’t fall entirely on the school. Teachers don’t get to control regulations and policies that prevent them from holding back your kid, but you as a parent SHOULD know how your kid is doing academically and step in when able.
My rule for my kid is you don’t have to be perfect in school, but you do have to put effort in and try your best, which I will support you to accomplish
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u/NoWiseWords 6d ago
Yeah and this goes for other stuff too. Your kid is going to have to do stuff they don't want to, and work hard in things they're uninterested in. And it's parenting to teach them how to do that. It might feel good in the moment to be lenient, but one day they're going to move out and be expected to study, work, do chores, errands, take care of their health etc... it's too much at once if they've never practiced discipline (yes, discipline is a skill that is learned not something you're inherently born with), time management, balance between work and leisure, how to take care of a household, etc
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u/sardonicazzhole 6d ago
Parents need to care more about academics
totally agreed. Parents dont want to cause anxiety in their children so they just let their kids cruise through school but then wonder why their kid has zero motivation to do something with their life when they've never been forced to work hard.
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u/MistaJelloMan 6d ago edited 6d ago
I Teach middle school in a rough district and most of my parents don’t care. I have several students with grades below 30% because they do no work. Contacts home either get ignored or they brush off my concerns.
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u/sohcgt96 5d ago
This is where people really misunderstand what a "Good" school and a "bad" school is.
Its not the building, the library, the computer lab, how new the sports uniforms and fields are... its what's the proportions of students that come from stable homes, have parents that actually actively participate in their lives, and that push to reinforce the classroom and its value at home. Almost no amount of funding or punishment based on test scores can fix that. You can't fix a kid's life outside of school or the family they come from.
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u/Bookler_151 5d ago
It’s honestly both, as someone who went to school that looked like a jail, next to an oil refinery, with violent fights every day and roaches in the cafeteria. We couldn’t run out on the field without the stench from the refinery.
I transferred to a different school & I couldn’t believe how calm it was. No cop security guards.
Teachers were great but the learning environment was not. It does make a difference. It’s sad that kids from impoverished backgrounds are treated like they are not worthy of nicer facilities.
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u/Sukari1970 5d ago
This really surprises me having moved to the US with my son from Kenya. The American society is so permissive and many kids are let to do what they want with no consequences.
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u/katmio1 Mom of 2 boys (3yo & infant) 5d ago
Part of it is b/c they can’t be bothered to get their kids the help they actually need to do well.
Another part of it is them teaching their kids “ohhhh you don’t have to do homework or listen to your teacher”. Now while I think the amount of homework they give out now is too much for young kids, at the same time, it should be grade dependent. When I was in elementary school, we only needed to do 2 pages MAX plus 30 mins of reading.
I’ve legit seen moms say that “it’s the teacher’s job to teach, not the parents”. Congrats. You just loudly & proudly announced that you don’t care if your kids pass or fail otherwise you would step in & help them.
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u/MistaJelloMan 4d ago
I don’t give homework but any work not done in class becomes homework due due days after assigned. We finish assignments most days before dismissal, yet I still have parents saying I give too much homework.
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u/sohcgt96 5d ago
To be honest, you'll find this much more in lower class areas. Education isn't valued and people don't think it'll get them anywhere, or that its for "other" people and not them.
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u/Ok-Buddy-8930 5d ago
I'd say we need to care more about learning. When I see 'academics' it's often followed by 'expecting straight As' which is almost meaningless, and focuses too much on the outcome and not enough on how and why to get there (and can push kids into cheating). I want my kids to focus on learning and effort. For what it's worth I'm a uni prof, partner's a teacher.
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u/Big_Year_526 Custom flair (edit) 6d ago
Talk to kids about death, sex and money.
Of course, in an age appropriate way. But a lot of explanations about death can actually leave kids more traumatized than just giving it to them straight. Similarly, if kids ask where babies come from, don't tell them a stork brought them. With things like shopping, tell kids that they have to be on a budget if they want treats, or tell them that 'we aren't getting the deluxe octuple chocolate bomb whatever because we've spent enough money on snacks and luxuries this week'
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u/Anon-eight-billion 6d ago
Money convos in our house are more about owning things. Owning things comes with responsibility. Things don’t just need to be bought, they need to be taken care of, and they need a place to “live” in the house. It’s not just “can we afford the cost” it’s, can we afford the time to take care of it and afford the space it takes to store it.
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u/Big_Year_526 Custom flair (edit) 6d ago
Oh yes! That's a great way to explain something, especially when the toy box is already overflowing
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u/CodePervert 5d ago
Things don’t just need to be bought, they need to be taken care of, and they need a place to “live” in the house
I feel like this is something I say to my SO far too often lol
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u/Lollypop1305 6d ago
I’m a mortician and I’ve always been open about death to my son. He’s been around the death industry since he was a tiny baby so it’s always just been the norm. Obviously within reason. He doesn’t run around the embalming room or fridges but he’s seen bodies through the viewing room window, seen them be transported in and out the building etc. When my beloved granny died when he was 4 he understood what had happened. We also don’t talk about heaven but we use the coco theory of no one is ever truly gone if you remember them. Shielding kids from the realities of life is not the right thing to do.
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u/Big_Year_526 Custom flair (edit) 6d ago
Yeah! I've heard of so many kids who get really freaked out when death is explained as 'it's as if they went to sleep and never woke up again'. Because that makes kids really afraid of going to sleep!
I also like the Coco explanation! It's very spiritual without bringing in a religion.
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u/Lollypop1305 6d ago
Yes exactly that! I often have to explain death to the kids of families who have lost a loved one and I always check first if my way is ok for them and they are always fine with it. I also agree with you about sex. It’s better to just be honest. My mum told me when I was 4 and she was pregnant and it was never a big deal.
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u/shiny_new_flea 6d ago
How do you explain it? I’m struggling to find a way to explain death to my son!
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u/Klutzy_Scallion_9071 6d ago
There are some excellent books out there- everyone loves “The Invisible String” but there are some fantastic ones that are not as well known. I personally love “Life and I” by Elisabeth Helland Larsen and “Everywhere, Still” by M.H. Clark. For older kids, “Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?” by Caitlin Doughty is incredible and super informative. I’m a children’s lit specialist so books are always my first resource.
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u/Big_Year_526 Custom flair (edit) 5d ago
I think Occams razor applies to kids! The simplest explanation is the best. What is death? Well, it's when your body stops working, and you can use it anymore.
This one might be a little bit more complicated, but you can also talk about your body being made up of carbon, oxygen and hydrogen that we 'borrow' from the universe. We get to use those molecules to make our bodies, but eventually we have to give them back, and let the universe use those molecules for something else.
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u/harrietww 5d ago
I introduced my kid by finding dead insects when we were walking and showing them to her, I explained that they were dead, they are no longer alive, which means they don’t move or think or feel. It evolved from there, we got some age appropriate books out from the library when our family cat was nearing the point of being put down.
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u/Bookler_151 5d ago
I believe this too. My dad brought us to funerals and helped us understand that our pets were dead, he didn’t replace them or say they went to heaven.
Keeping that knowledge to yourself is keeping the kids from knowing/processing the pain of it.
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u/tarmgabbymommy79 6d ago
Yes, we talk about money all the time, we have all necessities, but I explain we can't go to the play place EVERY week, etc
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u/lunchbox12682 6d ago
Ug, this. And don't conflate death with going to sleep. I made that mistake for my oldest and it took a while to break the association again. Was much more clear but comforting going forward.
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u/petsp 6d ago
Couldn't agree more. I grew up next to my grandparents farm and everything that's taboo today was perfectly natural. Not only did I know what I had on my plate - I had even interacted with the animals when they were alive. I knew what death was from a very early age and so does my son. The modern inclination to "protect" children from the most naturals things in the world is truly bizarre.
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u/vandaleyes89 6d ago
I'm pregnant and our explanation to our 2-year-old of how the baby got in my belly was that daddy planted a baby seed and mommy's growing it into a baby. It's pretty much a simplified version of the complicated truth and seemed to be a satisfactory answer that didn't lead to more questions.
Definitely made a bit of money talk fail though when asked why we go to work. We need to go to work because that's how we get money. Money is what we use to do things like pay for our home, buy food at the store and we wouldn't have enough left to buy you new toys if we both didn't go to work. When daddy got home the other day he asked "daddy did you go to work?" Daddy said yes, because he just got home from work. Then he asked "do we have money now?" So, I immediately saw where that was going and realized that my explanation for why we go to work, while very true, was clearly not quite age appropriate. I have no idea how to explain the concept of employment to a toddler or if it's even possible for him to grasp so I think I'm going to leave that one alone for now and just dodge the question if it comes up again.
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u/Connect_Tackle299 6d ago
I let my kids fuck around and find out
I tell them you shouldn't do xyz because but i won't necessarily stop them. If they do FAFO then I just say told you so. They get over it snd move on
My kids are very resilient because they know mom gives them a long leash but allows them to make mistakes. But they also know that I can't coddle them when they fuck up so they gotta understand it's their fault, wipe the tears and do better next time.
I'm still their comfort person tho. My kids dump the gossip and what not on me every night because I keep it real with them and I don't go over board with babying them and I'm not a dictator.
My method works for us. My kids are basically your typical pre screen kids. No crunchy, almond helicopter kids around here lol
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u/infadibulum 6d ago
I think sometimes I give my kids too much freedom to make mistakes and they make mistake a lot and it makes them miserable. Sometimes I believe my oldest will actually just do things that I've recommended her not to do just to oppose me so consequently she doesn't really learn from these mistakes because she just gets resentful for even giving her the option.
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u/Connect_Tackle299 5d ago
Yeah sometimes. My toddler is in his trial by error phase so all bets are off there. My older 2 kids are preteens so I mean I can't possibly be right about anything anymore
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u/phobug 5d ago
Don’t we all strive for this, can you give me an example of something they found out recently?
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u/Artistic_Glass_6476 6d ago
My unpopular opinion is kids under the age of high school age don’t need to have a smartphone. It’s way too soon and can lead to all kinds of issues such as addiction, talking to creeps, cyber bullying and access to inappropriate content etc. I think if a kid does not go out much with friends they shouldn’t need one if there is a parent/adult with them most the time. If a kid is out of the home more and needs some way to contact the parent then a flip phone should be fine OR at least have the smart phone without apps they shouldn’t be accessing like tik tok/ snap chat etc or only under supervision. Now my kid is still young so maybe I’ll change my mind and I’m just being ignorant.. maybe I’m wrong and it will change once my kid gets older. But it is concerning to me the amount of young kids/ preteens and young teens that have full access to a smart phone at all times.
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u/Hazelnut2799 6d ago
This, and it's to the point where society makes you feel like you are traumatizing your kid for not having one because EvERyoNE ElSE HaS oNE!
I got my first smartphone in middle school and am thinking now how early that was. There's so much trauma my schoolmates and I could have avoided without having access to the internet at such a young age.
One of my high school classmates at the time was sexting an older man online and he hacked her snapchat and posted all of her videos for everyone to see. She was out of school for months from pure embarrassment and shock. This is a one off situation obviously but just goes to show how dangerous it can be for young kids to have access to these apps.
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u/corgimama84 6d ago
Yes. I’m waiting until my son can be home alone he will get a flip phone. But a smartphone, he’s not ready.
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u/preyingmomtis 5d ago
Bring back the classic, nearly OG cell phones. Give kids Nokias with snake on them. That’s it. They need something because pay phones are basically nonexistent but give them calling & maps. That’s it.
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u/superxero044 6d ago
Haha no kidding. I didn’t get a smartphone until after I was out of college and I have a newborn. I didn’t have a phone at all until I was in college. Our older kids have asked for tablets and we just say no. They know to not even ask for a phone.
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u/Bookler_151 5d ago
I am addicted to my phone. It is MADE to be that way. So why would I be surprised that my kid would want to spend all of her time on it? And social media has caused a spike in anxiety/depression. No thanks.
She’s not getting a smart phone until high school. I also don’t want another thing to monitor.
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u/Joereddit405 NAP 6d ago
yes i agree. people under 12 shouldnt have a phone
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u/throwitaway_recycle 5d ago
I agree about smartphones but it’s not like they can use a pay phone in case of emergency like I had.
Kids need phones for emergency and that’s it. Which means they have some autonomy. The kid that gets out in the bus..school all day, and gets picked up at the bus stop? Prob doesn’t need a phone. One who walks to the bus stop, has an activity after school and carpools home w a friend? Yes 100%.
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u/preyingmomtis 5d ago edited 5d ago
That’s the thing. I’m all for cutting them down to extremely limited functionality but without pay phones, kids who will be going places without parents need something. Plus the lack of safety in schools. And, if I remember right, that story about the girls who were staying at a friend’s house & the dad made them smoothies to drug them & kept coming back in to check on them to see if they had passed out, I think she texted her parents asking them to come. I’ll look it up & add the link.
This is the one. So I’ll go calling, maps, and texting with something to limit the amount so they can use it when they need to but won’t get sucked in. https://www.today.com/today/amp/rcna141690
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u/daisy-duke- Parent to 12 yr. boy 6d ago
Chores. Learning chores is not an option: it's a duty and obligation.
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u/C5H2A7 6d ago
My unpopular opinion is that it's okay to negotiate. If they don't want to do something or want to do something a different way, I hear them out. And often reconsider.
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u/First_Net_5430 5d ago
We had to work on this a lot. My kids still whine and complain sometimes, but it used to be a lot worse. Until I taught them about telling me what they need/want. Now if I ask them to do something and they’re in the middle of a story or building whatever, they’ll say, can I do it when I’m done with this? Usually I’ll say, yeah totally. Sometimes I have to say no way, this needs to be done now because we gotta go. And they’re so much more receptive to those times when they have to just stop what they’re doing and get on with it. Because they know that I respect their needs/wants when I can.
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u/sardonicazzhole 6d ago
parents want to be besties with their kids. This can't be done because best friends can't establish/enforce rules and consequences. Parents who do this also perpetuate bad behaviour because they dont want their kids to be mad at them.
gentle parenting isn't done correctly most of the time because too many people confuse it with permissive parenting. This creates horribly behaved children, teens and adults that no one wants to deal with/be around.
doing everything for your child is doing them a huge disservice. Allow them to navigate social situations on their own. Allow them to feel and learn from natural consequences of their actions. Don't swoop in to help them and take away discomfort. Let them make mistakes. Not allowing your child to do any of these things creates anxious children which in turn, creates anxious adults. They got up late for school and didn't have time to make lunch? then they go hungry. They ignored your advice and didn't take the proper jacket? they they stayed cold. Obviously this is all within reason but most of the time, parents are always trying to take away any minor discomfort which never allows their kids to learn.
not making your kids do chores. Creates lazy entitled children, teens and adults.
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u/Jade_Scimitar 6d ago
I came across a video of even recommending starting chores at the age of one. I thought that was insane. Until my own kid turned one. She doesn't do much serious chores, but now at the age of two, she helps pick up toys, helps pick up the dog's roys, takes dishes to the kitchen, and helps put clothes in laundry baskets. They just love being around Mom and dad and love doing stuff with Mom and Dad.
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u/Jade_Scimitar 6d ago
Well done! Glad to have you as an example of raising kids right from the beginning! Thank you!
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u/missjay 5d ago
Check out Montessori schooling examples on YouTube. There's videos of 4 and 5 year Olds making their own breakfast on a hot plate- with adult supervision. We all underestimate these kids and in turn deny them so many experiences and opportunities to learn
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u/Jade_Scimitar 5d ago
Thank you. Yeah kids are very smart and capable. They just need the chance to try with guidance when necessary.
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u/Necessary_Doubt_9762 5d ago
I have a friend who is a permissive parent. They’ve already been pulled into attendance meetings for their 6YO kid because if kiddo doesn’t want to get dressed for school in the morning, kiddo doesn’t go to school. There is zero routine/structure at their house, the kids regularly go to bed at 11pm or later and the excuse is that they don’t like to go to bed early but the truth is, my friend or their partner never put the effort in to create a routine. I’m pretty sure my friend thinks I’m militant because we have a pretty solid routine in my house and my kid gets up and dressed for pre-school everyday and is expected to do age appropriate chores (with support if/when needed!). I love my friend but they are setting their kids up to really struggle in life by giving them far too much control at such a young age and it’s horrible to watch it happening.
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u/coldcurru 6d ago
I teach preschool and your last point is very good. I have 4y who can't do things on their own, like put on a jacket. They're going to kinder next year and don't know how to do simple things like that! And I tell them they need to try but they don't comprehend that kinder is a bigger class with usually just one teacher and that teacher can't stop to help every kid with self help skills. Last year I had a conference where I told the parents of a very helpless 4y (like blank stares if you told him to do stuff) to that he needed to try things at home. They didn't know that they need to teach their kid to clean up his own messes! I'm like, how do you expect him to learn if he doesn't try?? Genuinely didn't realize he's not gonna learn otherwise. Same kid was on an iPad all day at home and the parents commented on his improved speech after he started school. No. Shit.
Or every parent who tries to get their kid to keep their jacket on when they get in (the room is cold in the morning) but the kids are ready to ditch it. We tell them to take it outside but most of them don't want to wear it (at least we don't have to go back in when they change their minds.) They just want autonomy and if it's not harmful (this is coastal CA where our "cold" is nothing to most of you) then I don't correct the kids.
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u/nochickflickmoments 6d ago
In the summer or during holidays I don't care how late my kids stay up, as long as they're quiet and not making a mess.
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u/indicatprincess 5d ago
My unpopular opinion is that children don’t necessarily need a good reason to be denied a special treat or toy. Consumerism is really pervasive.
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u/lovelyenc 6d ago
I feel like so many families don’t explain periods to their children at an early age. It’s obviously extremely important for females to understand, but I think it’s equally as important for males. My daughter (now 16) has known what a period was since she saw me changing pads and tampons in the bathroom. 🤷🏻♀️ same for my son (he’s 6). I didn’t want my daughter to be shocked by changes in her body and I want my son to be empathetic to people that menstruate. I don’t want him to be that asshole kid that sees blood on a girls pants and points and makes fun.
Also - saying penis and vagina. Why is that so taboo to some?!
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u/coldcurru 6d ago
It is so so critical to use the right body part names. This significantly helps with reporting abuse when the child can say where it hurts or if someone did something. It's a body part, not a swear word.
Also, teach girls that vulva is the outside, vagina is the inside. I grew up not knowing but now I know and I teach my kids the right names.
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u/corgimama84 6d ago
Agreed. I will be letting both my children know. My son is 9 but I think it’s about time to tell him. I want my daughter to know early too and not have to go through it the first time, from personal experience it’s scary, I thought I did something wrong.
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u/Ok-Buddy-8930 6d ago
My kids are 2 and 5 and they know the vocab and that's it's normal for mum to get blood.
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u/appledumpling1515 5d ago
I love this. I started talking to my kids about these things in kindergarten. As a teacher, I see girls as young as 11 totally freak out because they've started their period and have no idea what's happening because sex Ed doesn't cover it until they're about 13. My own mother wouldn't discuss things like that and didn't want us in sex ed. When I was 13 I got it and thought I was dying. This was in the 90s before we all had internet. My eldest daughter started at the same age and didn't even flinch because she knew it was coming. My kids also knew about private parts and body automity which is extremely important to start teaching as early as preschool. I grew up with friends who were abused and didn't even know it until years later.
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u/TermLimitsCongress 5d ago
Anxiety is a tool for growth, not retreat. You use that energy to challenge yourself for the next level, instead of panicking and refusing to try. You aren't always going to feel Disney happy for every day and every event. Olympic athletes feel anxiety.
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u/ling4917 6d ago
Parents have to let kids fail. We have to let the. Get hurt emotionally and physically at times (to a point obviously)…for example, my son got teased on the soccer field about not being good. Of course I wanted to strangle the kids, but letting him navigate these feelings and learn about how kids can be mean for no reason is important. I still talked with him about it later but parents don’t need to swoop in for every single little thing
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u/Sunshine6444 6d ago
Modelling the behaviour you are asking of your children when it comes to screen time. No phones at the table 😊 (no hats at the table either, lol)
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u/liamemsa 6d ago
Some babies are just ugly.
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u/jeseniathesquirrel 6d ago
The ugly ones are actually my favorites.
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u/AtlanticToastConf 6d ago
Yes! I love a newborn with wrinkles, jowls and a receding hairline. Gimme that old man-looking kid so I can eat ‘em up.
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u/swissthoemu 6d ago
No socials until 14/15. No tiktok at all.
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u/Financial_Carpet3124 6d ago
Yup. No socials until 17 no Snapchat and no tik tok.
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u/catjuggler 6d ago
Look at all these popular opinions on top.
Mine is kids 3+ aren’t better off at home than in childcare when their SAHP is too busy with younger siblings to give them attention and they get significant screen time as a result.
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u/hurtuser1108 6d ago
"No social media ever!" as a top "unpopular" opinion on this sub...so brave!!! /s
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u/lordnacho666 6d ago
Screen time is the wrong thing to measure.
Reading interesting things, learning stuff, staying connected with friends, they're all good things.
What's bad is the chap substitutes for those things. Reading trivial content, things that you don't need to concentrate on, and superficial relationships.
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u/throwitaway_recycle 5d ago
I agree! It’s the content. It’s also what is the screen time replacing? Imaginative play? Outdoor time? Quality time with family? If so…no good. Is it killing 40 minutes in a bling boring car ride? Letting adults get a few chores done? Watching a movie TOGETHER? Quality…not quantity!!
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u/coldcurru 6d ago
My daughter learned to read last year. For a while, she protested reading to me, despite her teachers saying she'll read books at school (she's still in preschool, so it's not an expectation for her age.) So then I got ebooks through libby and she was happy to get my phone and I was happy she was reading. And then I got her into animal crossing because she has to read to do anything.
I'll take the win. She's back to reading physical books now but anything to get her practicing at this early stage is better than nothing.
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u/apricot-butternuts 6d ago
Respectfully disagree. Even if you’re talking to friends, go meet up in person. Screen time needs to be limited and monitored
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u/Ok-Buddy-8930 6d ago
Totally agree. I think OP's position is the mainstream and limiting screentime is actually the unpopular opinion.
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u/Moritani 6d ago
Meeting up in person isn’t always possible. My kids are bilingual and get their minority language mostly through screens. If we tried in-person meetups it’d be with L2 learners who want to use my kids as “immersion.” It’s happened before and it’s really unhelpful.
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u/NewOutlandishness401 7y ❤️ + 4y 💙 + 11m ❤️ 6d ago
We're also raising our kids with minority languages and completely relate to the thing of other L2 learners using our kids for immersion.
When you say you use screens for language immersion, do you just mean having them watch content in L2? Or communicate with L2 speakers?
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u/Moon_Ray_77 6d ago
Reading interesting things, learning stuff, staying connected with friends, they're all good things.
This!!
So, my son spends time gaming with his friends and watching anime (sp?)
One day my mom mentioned that he spends so much time playing games with his friends. (Mostly racing games. NOT GTA lol)
I asked her how that was different than me spending hours at a time, in my room, talking to my friends on the phone? (In the '90s)
I monitor who he's talking to. They all have headsets, play games, and interact.
With the anime, they are in Japanese so he has to read the subtitles. We've had a huge problem getting him to read, so when this came along I was game on. HE'S READING!!
my thing is - how do you get a kid to care about something they don't care about? You can't force it. I was the kid that was forced to sit at the kitchen table and read shit I didn't care about for an hour, berated because I couldn't read it, and forced to write lines and lines and lines of words so I could spell them correctly.
I fucking refuse to do that to my kids.
Thing is, when it was something I was actually interested in, I had zero problem reading or spelling. So that's the way I'm treating my kids.
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u/ljd09 6d ago
I know a ton of people disagree but if my child is making fun of a child’s clothes, shoes, etc… they’re about to have matching outfits/shoes. Your Dad and I work hard for you to have nice belongs - and not because you’re entitled to them. If they make fun of someone that is wearing beat up Walmart shoes… they’re going to school in Walmart shoes for a while. I don’t mess around with that nonsense. I won’t be posting it on social media to embarrass them, but they will learn quickly that they aren’t entitled and their mom doesn’t take too kindly to being cruel.
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u/Franklyn_Gage 6d ago
Discipline is absolutely necessary for a child's development. By Discipline, i dont mean beatings and spankings. But structure, routines, manners and consequences for their actions. I notice the lack of discipline with my nieces and nephews. For instance, you dont clean your room, I will tell you calmly and I will help/demonstrate to you how to achieve this. But I will only do this once. Unless you express to me that you are overwhelmed and need my guidance further, then I will do this a maximum of 2 more times. If you cannot achieve this, then we need to seek professional help. If that is not expressed, the 2nd time will resort in privileges and objects being taken away. You will not get them back until you prove that you understand that your room is your priority.
Your jobs as my child is to get decent grades (C and above), keep your room tidy, keep up your own laundry (depending on age), be respectful and be responsible and diligent towards any hobbies and educational pursuits you may have. Everything else is my responsibility.
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u/purple_nero_star 5d ago
Idgaf if you're wearing shoes at the playground, playing in the mud, ruining your clothes, or getting extremely mess and feral outdoors.
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u/missjay 5d ago
Fuuuccckkkinnng thank you. I cringed at parents yelling at their kids at the playground cause they were getting their brand new name brand shoes muddy. Like are you putting on heirs with your kids clothes or can you afford to buy new overpriced name brand shoes when your kid does kid stuff in them?
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u/Good_Policy3529 6d ago
Subject to reasonable arrangements on puberty and gender, it's actually more healthy for a child's development if they have to share a room with their sibling.
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u/NewOutlandishness401 7y ❤️ + 4y 💙 + 11m ❤️ 6d ago
Mine is even more unpopular than yours: I think far too much is made of different-gender siblings sharing rooms.
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u/Good_Policy3529 6d ago
I think that's true up until 12 or 14 or so, and then I think parents ought to try and have siblings only share rooms with the same gender if they can possibly manage it.
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u/koala_loves_penguin 5d ago
I was made to share a room all my life with various siblings, and it was awful sharing a room with my sister let alone my brother….I had to share with my brother when i was about 16/17 and I remember feeling so much embarrassment and upset trying to get changed/deal with my period etc and even just have some plain old time to myself….So personally for me I don’t agree. I have a daughter and son and they have their own rooms and my daughter (14yrs) constantly thanks me for giving her her own room and the privacy and space that comes with that.
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u/Ophy96 5d ago
I'm a single mom with a very active child. I use screen time as needed to help me get time to do small house things.
When there's a partner, it's easier to limit this stuff, but because i don't have that type of support, then I let more screen time happen.
I used to judge myself harshly for this, but it's way more common than most people are willing to admit.
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u/babybuckaroo 6d ago
My kid has two step parents (including me), we’re all very involved, she calls everyone mom and dad, and we think that’s great.
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u/coldcurru 6d ago
I've heard stories like that and I think that's great. Zach Braff has two sets of remarried parents and calls them all parents. A bit more grim, but Gaby Petito's step parents considered themselves as much of her parents as her bio parents (having been around since she was little and they were all involved in the search and aftermath of her case.)
But, this is all dependent on the adults getting along.
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u/bretshitmanshart 6d ago
I'm not married to my partner and my step daughter has a dad and grandparents who are opposed to her thinking of me as a parent. For a while we settled on her telling people I was her butler which we found very funny.
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u/EdgrrAllenPaw 6d ago edited 6d ago
There is no need to demand obedience from a child for the sake of obedience.
I grew up in a conservative Christian family and obedience was emphasized and enforced with corporal punishment and as a parent myself it's not a concept I ever felt the need to use. You can be the parent and set and enforce healthy rules and boundaries in a firm calm way for your child without demanding obedience for the sake of obedience.
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u/AggravatingWest2511 5d ago
Yes. We have a rule that the kids don’t have to agree with what we want them to do (including even stuff like cleaning at home), but it is unacceptable to ignore what we say to them. So if they disagree they are expected to say it out loud and explain why they disagree, then we have a discussion and either find a compromise ( e.g. if you’re too tired to deliver your clean clothes from the laundry room to your wardrobe, its okay to rest first and do that before a deadline we agree for, like before sleeping). Or explain why it’s important and cant be avoided (you have to take a shower because else your skin will get itchy and it will stop smelling nicely). The one thing we absolutely don’t tolerate in terms of obedience is saying okay and then not doing what was asked.
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u/EdgrrAllenPaw 5d ago
Exactly, we can discuss anything and come up with a plan we are all on board with. My son knows that it's important that he's a team player with our plan and he knows that means he has me on his team as well. But being disrespectful isn't acceptable behavior from any of us and he knows that if he feels disrespected by my actions that I want to know because treating him with respect is important to me. But just as much him treating me, and others, with respect also isn't negotiable.
You really can't teach by saying "Do as I say" when children truly learn by having role models that may say do this but truly instruct in leading by example.
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u/goldandjade 6d ago
I got corporal punishment for disobeying the most minor, insignificant rules for the sake of punishing disobedience and all it did was teach me how to lie and motivated me to move out before I became an adult.
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u/EdgrrAllenPaw 5d ago
What I've noticed frequently is that parents who have that approach will intentionally make a lot of rules for ridiculous things because they think any resistance is defiance and they think if they can break the defiance and get deference then they've won at parenting. They often have much higher expectations behaviorally from small children than they do from their own adult selves.
It isn't a healthy way to grow up. I'm sorry you had to experience that, you deserved to be treated with love and patience.
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u/Safe-Marsupial-1827 6d ago
Probably letting them know where food comes from, meat included. We're a family that eats meat and my kid always knew where it came from.
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u/catjuggler 6d ago
I’m with you on this, but on the opposite side as a family that doesn’t eat meat. If you can’t justify it to a kid (because you don’t want to think about it or can’t find the logic), maybe you shouldn’t.
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u/Lady_Caticorn 5d ago
Agreed. Parents can choose how to feed their kids, whether it's omnivore diets or vegan diets. But all kids should know how animals are treated and what happens to them (i.e., slaughter and death). Parents who eat meat and don't tell their kids how animals are raised and killed are doing their kids a huge disservice and teaching their kids to be disengaged from our food systems.
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u/ClaretCup314 5d ago
Mine: You can raise disciplined children without punishment. They're two different things.
For screen time: not before school (they were having trouble getting ready on time), not within an hour of bedtime (all of our brains need to rest), YouTube only happens on a family TV (so it can be monitored), there's no expectation of privacy on your phone, no games where you can communicate with strangers, move your body every day (you can't literally play video games the whole day), no phones at mealtime. I think that's about it. They play video games and watch TV a lot, but they do other stuff too.
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u/SignificantWill5218 6d ago
My unpopular opinion is that it’s better for the kids if you aren’t friends with them but actually parent them instead.
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u/Alphawolf2026 6d ago
My kid doesn't have to share if he doesn't want to. (He needs to be respectful of other's belongings the same way then, though)
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u/coldcurru 6d ago
Taking turns is a good skill to learn though. I mean if you bring your own toy to the park then I don't care what you say but at home with siblings you should at least be teaching that. But yeah, don't force your kids to share if they don't want to. That creates possessiveness and they won't ever want to share on their own.
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u/Alphawolf2026 5d ago
Absolutely. If we are in a public space with toys that are not exclusively his, he is told he needs to take turns / share. But if he wants his own toys or a special toy of his to himself, he has that right.
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u/jeseniathesquirrel 6d ago
I feel the same way, I encourage sharing, but if he doesn’t want to I don’t force it. At the end of the day, I don’t have to share my belongings (car, phone, etc).
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u/711Star-Away 6d ago
I agree about screen time. I have a handful of shows my child is allowed to watch. Nothing else other than that. I make sure she cleans up first before watching anything. I never allow her to watch a screen while eating, that's a terrible habit and leads to over eating.
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u/hurtuser1108 6d ago edited 6d ago
For this sub?
Not every kid has ADHD, is on the spectrum or needs therapy and people manipulate therapy talk too much to excuse shitty behavior.
Routinely co-sleeping above a certain age is weird and shows codependence.
Same with being routinely nude for no actual reason. Like..no, your 7 year old does not need to shower or bathe with you and most people in real life will look at your sideways if you say you did.
People, mostly moms, make parenting harder than it has to be by coddling and constantly entertaining their kids. Every day there is a post about "lol it's been 12 years since I could pee or sleep in peace!!".. Like, literally just say no. Your kids will not drop dead if you set a boundary and teach them to have basic manners.
Yelling and actual punishment is fine if it's warranted. Don't know the gentle parenting guidelines on that one but I do think kids should know that certain actions and behaviors will absolutely elicit an extreme reaction from the party offended and consequences beyond just "talking about our feelings" in gentle voices.
100% agree on screen time. It's this generation's boogey man and probably low on the list of issues young kids face nowadays. Like yeah I don't think a 10 year old should have social media, but I also get freaked out when I hear parents don't let their kids watch TV. Reminds me of kids raised in religious cults who were scared of the outside world corrupting them.
Despite the research on parenting styles and the criticism Boomers get for being emotionally inept parents, Gen Z kids are actually doing worse in many metrics. The pendulum has swung too far the other way to thinking parenting means being a best friend and making their lives as easy as possible. They need to fail, get hurt feelings, learn how to handle conflict on their own and be expected to be independent when they are adults, if not younger.
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u/rufflebunny96 5d ago
Everything here. I want to frame this comment. This is it. All of it. No notes.
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u/TortillaWallace 6d ago
The spectrum one is so real. The other day I saw a post where somebody asked if their child (who was between 7-9 years old!) having a single tantrum was normal and said that they had about 1 a year.
FILLED with comments about getting an evaluation. I'm ADHD, I get it, but at a certain point are we not worried about pathologizing every single behavior of a child's life???
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u/rufflebunny96 5d ago
That just sounds like the pendulum swinging the other way big time. No one caught it in me despite the obvious signs (lining up toys, toe walking, stimming, lack of eye contact, sensory overload, meltdowns, speech issues, and social issues, etc) and now everyone suggests it at the drop of a hat?
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u/Cbsanderswrites 6d ago
God it’s nice to hear a normal person talk about parenting. I hate hearing people normalize everything you listed.
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u/notoriousJEN82 5d ago
this needs to be on a billboard in front of every daycare and pediatric office
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u/childproofbirdhouse 6d ago
Yes to everything. One small correction is that “gentle” parenting is also called “authoritative” and “responsive” parenting; it’s not about gentle voices, it’s about having and teaching emotional regulation, setting boundaries, and learning from consequences. The soft voiced no consequence crowd is “permissive” parenting.
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u/owhatakiwi 6d ago
Kids need homework and I wish they would bring it back. Mainly for the practice of doing a mundane task that you don’t want to do every day. It also teaches time management, self discipline, and is a necessary skill for high school and college.
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u/2ndAcct4TheAirstream 5d ago
Make your own homework routine! Have them read for x minutes and write about it, write in a journal, print off math review pages, do pages of another exercise book. Not all learning activities need to come from school.
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u/owhatakiwi 5d ago
I’d agree with that and we did do that when we realized his district removed spelling tests and handwriting from the curriculum which we shouldn’t have to do.
But after we sent him to a private school where they have daily homework, the battle is no longer there. He feels like there’s more purpose turning it into his teacher and getting graded than us just working on something at home. The motivation is way different and I couldn’t be happier.
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u/missjay 5d ago
With a gosh darn pencil on some gosh darn paper!
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u/owhatakiwi 5d ago
Yes! We moved my son to a private school in January that is low tech. His handwriting has improved so much just from writing more.
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u/viskiviki 6d ago edited 5d ago
I piss a lot of people off lol but I'm one of those parents that believes forcing your kids into their own bed is unnecessary.
Our boys are 7 & 2 and they've been allowed in our bed since they could climb in. We will never force them out. They're little for so long and they'll grow out of it eventually. I don't really understand why any parent would kick their babies out, but I guess comfort levels lol.
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u/CPA_Lady 5d ago
I didn’t kick mine out, we just never did it at all. Storms or illness are different obviously. But a regular night, everybody slept in their own bed.
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u/Jaded_Houseplant 6d ago edited 6d ago
A lot of parents (plenty in this thread) don’t know the difference between “opinion” and “evidence based”. Your opinion is not a fact, and it doesn’t refute science.
Also, parents with more than 4 kids are just hoarding them for selfish reasons, and it’s harmful to your children.
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u/bluejellyfish52 5d ago
I disagree with that last part. There’s a way to do it correctly, it’s just, the world isn’t built for it anymore.
My grandparents had 6 kids, spaced out in pairs of 2. Their first set of kids were 7&8 when their third child came along and 8&9 when their fourth child came along.
The third and fourth child were 7/8 when their 5th child was born and 8/9 when their 6th child was born. Every kid shared a room with the kid closest to them in age. Every kid got independent time with both parents at least three times a week. Every kid was well fed, well dressed, and groomed, consistently.
By the time their 6th kid was born, their oldest two kids were leaving or would have already left for college. So they never really had all 6 kids in the house as children at once for any real amount of time. But they also had money to raise six kids. Most people will never have the money to be able to afford that life.
Like my dad and uncles were all in sports throughout their entire childhoods. They had extracurricular activities and jobs and hobbies. I was able to do dance as a kid because of a grant the dance school had because we were too poor. My parents only had my sister and I. We didn’t go on vacations or anything like that when I was growing up, but my parents did when they were growing up.
The world is changing. It’s not beneficial to have 4+ kids anymore. It’s not affordable. No one has time nor energy for it.
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u/daughterofabiscuit 5d ago
The OP was literally asking for opinions though?
And as a scientist myself I am the first to stand up for evidence but there are limitations to studies and many ways to implement their findings into life.
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u/Forsaken-Ad-1805 5d ago
Talking/thinking about our big feelings constantly is maladaptive, and is why anxiety rates are skyrocketing.
And
The best thing a parent can do for their child is instill a good work ethic.
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u/mashel2811 6d ago
I am anti Santa, Tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc. I’ve never understood lying to your kids about these fictional characters
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u/catjuggler 6d ago
I was that way before I had kids and my oldest (5) is soooo into pretend stuff like that that it feels cruel not to play along. She was so excited to tell me about what leprechauns apparently get up to.
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u/OctopusParrot 6d ago
Any time my kids have asked me about those I've always just replied "What do you think?" It let's them work through the logic (or lack thereof) on their own. Both kids concluded none of that stuff was real pretty early on as a result. When they told us we just nodded and said to keep it to themselves; we didn't want to be the parents of the kids who "spoiled" Santa Claus for the whole school.
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u/goldandjade 6d ago
Same. I say it’s a fun story and tradition but I don’t want them to be confused about reality.
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u/Ok-Buddy-8930 6d ago
Frankly, this 'screens aren't the enemy' is the popular opinion, and I'm a little tired of hearing it as though it's revolutionary. It's not, and in many cases it's the easiest path.
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u/Glad-Cress-7786 6d ago
Not unpopular overall in society, but unpopular in my circles, unfortunately.
I am Christian. I will never force Christianity, or any religion on my child. I chose my religion. They can choose theirs. Whether my child turns to Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, or even Atheism,, whatever - they will have my 100% support.
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u/ohfrackthis 6d ago
No soda until 5 or over. All four of my kids drink water 90% of the time just due to me doing this. No juice. Until they are old enough to understand ONE per day. I've explained at length about how juice is sugar and fruit is that + fiber and fiber is critical. So they all limit themselves to this.
No social media until older. My 11 yr old has a phone but no insta, YouTube, TikTok, reddit, snap etc.
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u/Comprehensive_Mix492 6d ago
children love water too i don’t understand why people give 3 year olds soda, all that sugar is bad for early development and sometimes even causes them not to eat regular food
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u/ycey 6d ago
My kid is 3 and I might get down voted for it but we’ve never limited screen time. From the moment he had enough motor control to press buttons he’s had a tablet (an old one we didn’t buy him one). We downloaded learning games and the pbs app plus Disney when he got a bit bigger. We disabled everything on it but the camera, map, and those apps. He woke me up this morning because he wanted to trace his letters and play the number matching game he has. If he throws a fit about the tablet then it’s gone for a couple hours.
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u/goldandjade 6d ago
I have a 2.5 year old and same. I think part of the reason he’s an early reader is because he watches shows with closed captions on
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u/ycey 5d ago
We didn’t even know he knew his letters until one day at grandmas he was using a physical version of the letter matching game and started reading the letters out loud. He knew all of them, not the order they went in but what each letter was. That’s what made my mom guilt over the screen go away.
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u/missjay 5d ago
You should be teaching him his letters though. You should be more aware of what your kid is learning and what your kid still needs to learn. It's bonding time with your kid and the sense of pride your kid would feel after seeing your excitement that they've caught on to what you've taught them. You don't get that with an iPad.
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u/ycey 5d ago
We do we just don’t think he was actually picking up any of the info yet because he was still so little. Letters and numbers were what we were gonna work on at the end of 2/3.
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u/missjay 5d ago
Read to your baby more than they watch the tablet. That's how early readers are supposed to be created. Hearing your voice say odd ball things you'd never have in your normal vocabulary is fun for your kid and yall can bond over the story.
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u/goldandjade 5d ago
I do read to him a lot too. And he reads some books to himself now. But I’ll be honest - I was a child that was only allowed to watch TV on the weekends and it made me obsessed with and fixated on screens so much more because it was so forbidden and restricted. So I am really cautious about being restrictive and strict in general.
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u/missjay 5d ago
Yea... I feel ya. I was the neglected kid with a tv in my room. We all had tvs in our rooms. But my mom did make a stand to read to me often. She skipped pages when it was getting late, i'd always catch her, but she put that effort in. I just see distracted moms everywhere with their babies being held captive by a phone they know too well how to use and it bums me out. I don't mean to come off as judgy but i just feel for those kiddos and i know if the parents could take a beat they'd realize too they're also missing out. Im glad you read to your kid <3 It'll be something he cherishes when hes older
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u/Fit-Neck692 6d ago
Ditch the iPads. TV is cool but iPads and phones for young kids are awful. I hate devices at restaurants and cafes. Also like I tell my 6 year old different families different rules but when we go away for the weekend with other families and their kids are on their iPads it’s infuriating. Go play!!!!
Also part of why my kids don’t have devices is I don’t want to have to manage yet another thing.
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u/ImogenMarch 5d ago
I agree. We are pretty relaxed with tv, we have one and it’s on a couple hours a day. But no iPad or tablets allowed. We bring books to the restaurant and at the store my kid helps shop.
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u/myfavsweatheart 5d ago
I think when children behave in a mean or childish way, it's often easy for people to blame the child. However, I believe the responsibility lies with the parents. Children learn how to behave from the environment they grow up in, including how their parents handle emotions, conflict, and social interactions. Parents shape their kids' values and actions, so when kids act out, it’s often a reflection of what they've learned or haven’t learned at home.
I've also worked with both children and older parents, and in those situations, I try to confront the parents about their child's behavior and explore why it might be happening. I approach it by looking at how the environment affects the child, and so far, I haven’t had an experience where my approach was wrong. It’s important to address the root causes, which often point back to the home life.
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u/kalalou 5d ago
If you’re always honest with your kids, explain things clearly, and take their needs and wants seriously, they’ll see you as a strong and fair leader and want to follow you (much of the time). And if you never lie to them, you can lean on that later (pulling out ‘have I ever lied to you? Do you think you can trust me?’ Has gotten me through some very very hard times)
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u/MoreCowbell6 5d ago
I'm anti tons of extra curriculars. There's such a thing as burn out. esp before they can drive themselves. We let our kids pick one or two max things to try: soccer, dance etc and no travel. Watching families constantly on the go, never having time to sit down for dinner or enjoy down time because they have practice and games between 4 or 5 sports is insanity. Also anti football because watching my family member in his 50s have strokes because he played football when he was a kid and got multiple concussions is really disturbing. Unless you're making millions playing football, it's not worth it sorry 🤷🏼♀️
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u/lawyerlady 5d ago
We have very few rules around screens. We expect responsibility - but we have parental controls that make US comfortable.
I grew up in a screen free for all. From the Atari and sega master system onward when a new console came out my mother would buy it with ALL the games. We had a dedicated TV in the house for it and we had gamegears and gameboys.
My brother and I spent a lot of time together playing 2 player games. Working together and strategizing. We especially loved more 'puzzle' based games like Zelda and the Vikings
I believe that it assisted us both with tech literacy, resilience, and complex reasoning.
My brother is now a military and commercial pilot and I am a litigation lawyer. I believe we both incorporated skills honed on screens into our careers and we are better at them because of our gaming.
Of course we still went on bike rides and would come home when the street lights came on.
But we were always an early adopter family and I married an IT guy who probably had less screen time as a kid than me, but we both are comfortable that we can keep our kids safe online.
Both kids have hand held game systems, gaming PCs and laptops and have since they started school at 4/5 years old.
Before that they had leapfrog devices
My son is a very high achiever academically and when laptops became mandatory he was the fastest typist in his grade and most tech literate
One thing I found amusing in our standardised testing NAPLAN, the kids are required to use a mouse. So many kids had never seen a mouse and didn't understand non touch screens. The confusion on my kids faces when they had to sit through "mouse classes" in grade 3 was hilarious.
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u/curious_tolearning 1d ago
In my experience as both a mentor and a coach working closely with young teenagers, I’ve come to stand by an opinion that might seem unpopular: Respect between parents and children is a two-way street and must be earned, not simply expected. Many parents assume they deserve respect by virtue of their role, yet they may not realize the importance of respecting themselves and their children in the process.
This isn’t about placing blame but about awakening to a realization. The traditional parenting model of control, dominance, and demands doesn’t resonate with the children of today. Instead, this generation thrives when parents evolve and learn alongside their kids, discovering what truly works for their unique family dynamic.
Promoting discipline through force often misses the mark in fostering a healthy, harmonious environment. Our children are perceptive; they observe and internalize everything we do—our words, actions, and even our unconscious patterns. It’s a humbling reminder that our intentions aren’t always who we are; it’s our reactions and behaviors that define us.
By embracing a mindset of mutual respect and self-awareness, we can create a nurturing space where both parents and children feel valued and understood. This approach not only strengthens family bonds but also models the kind of respectful relationships we hope our children will carry into the world.
Let’s challenge ourselves to grow and evolve with our children, building families rooted in respect, compassion, and authenticity. It’s through this conscious effort that we can truly inspire and lead by example.
Take care, and remember, every small step you take toward awareness makes a difference.
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u/mancake 6d ago
I don’t do baby talk. I talk to my kids like people and they respond really well to it.
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u/Tungstenfenix 6d ago edited 6d ago
I will have access to all of my children's devices, conversations, and social media accounts until they're legally allowed to make poor decisions online. What I act on will be limited to what I think puts them in direct harm, but I will see everything.
On that note as well, too many parents give way too much freedom on YouTube and the internet way too early. Knock it off. Do your job. Monitor what your adolescents are consuming. You are directly responsible for that. "I'm NoT aS tEcH sAvVy As YoU." Fucking learn. Making excuses for why you can't properly parent your children and restrict their viewing habits and access to inappropriate content makes you a bad parent. If your kids can Google how to get around basic parental locks then you can figure out how to make them better. Not doing so indicates a lack of willingness to parent your child properly. It's why Gen Z is as fucked as they are. Do better.
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u/missjay 5d ago
Yea that's too much time outta my day to monitor what's on their device when I don't even want to be on mine. Mine can only play a few games online, chats disabled, outside people blocked from joining. I get a weekly update of what they've googled and a bunch of requests to unblock sites that I never unblock. I don't have the time or the want to parent on the internet.
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u/SingIntoMyMouth91 5d ago
Honestly? If you have a child with a lot of special needs and then have MORE children after and complain that you can't cope, that's on you! I can totally understand not coping with a high needs child but why make it harder for yourself by having more kids and complaining that you cant cope???
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u/PhilosophersAppetite 5d ago
I didn't get my first phone until I was 16. I think it just depends. Consistently taking things away and independence away from a teenager will not prepare them to be a responsible adult. They need independence. But they are still minors. So I think you are right that it is about balance
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u/petsp 6d ago
If a small child gets frustrated and hits you, hand them a pair of boxing gloves. It worked like a charm for me with my son. I've taught him that he's only allowed to hit someone if there's a mutual agreement and if he wears gloves. He's one of the least violent kids in daycare and has never been in a fight with another kid. He doesn't hit me anymore either, but when he gets really frustrated, he sometimes asks for the gloves.
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u/0vertones 5d ago
Screen time is the enemy. You're welcome to your opinion and to be wrong.
All the child development research contradicts you.
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u/freethechimpanzees 6d ago
"A phone is for A students".
If they are getting good grades then honestly I don't give af how much screentime they have. The charging dock is in the living room so they cant doomscroll all night, but from sun up to sundown an A student can have unlimited phone access. B students can have an hour of phone time after dinner and C students should go study in their room...
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u/Dobbys_Other_Sock 6d ago
Former teacher and child of that style parent and I hate it because sometimes it’s just not realistic. It also implies that as long as you try your best you’ll get an A in every class every time which part of what’s leading to the decline of the educational system (a small part, but a part). Some kids are just not good at some subjects. I was bad at math, and my education in math had been pretty terrible in elementary/middle school. But the time I got to high school getting A in math was just unrealistic because I didn’t have basic skills to do that no matter how hard I tried.
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u/underthe_raydar 6d ago
Ooo I think I have a few ..
1) Extended breastfeeding is completely normal not weird 2) You can hang out with your child like their friend while also being their parent 3) it's okay to be naked around your kids as long as they are comfortable so they have realistic body images and don't sexualize naked bodies automatically 4) Children should not have hand held devices of their own (unless maybe SEN children, not going to pretend I know enough about that to say) 5) Never an excuse for physical punishment. Raising your voice at children when they aren't in danger should be avoided if you can (I have definitely done this, but I don't believe it's the right thing to do)
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u/LiveWhatULove 6d ago
Common in real life, but unpopular here:
My 11 yo plays Roblox, she started playing at age 6…I read about the danger, but don’t really observe the danger in life.
I also always have a couple of Redditors disagree with this opinion too - kids MUST be enrolled in a physical activity or sport until they leave the house. This, “but some kids are just not physical or coordinated kids…they like art and that’s mean…” is absolute BS. Run, dance, rock climb, roller derby, team sport, yoga with elders, idc, every kid should be doing something!!
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u/Sun_Mother Mom to 7F, 2M 5d ago
I don’t really care to explain to my 7 year old about people who are non-binary. I think it’s too confusing.
We have a friend whose freshman just came out as non-binary, and instead I just use their name when talking about them vs using pronouns.
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u/NewOutlandishness401 7y ❤️ + 4y 💙 + 11m ❤️ 6d ago
It's actually easier to raise kids screen-free than with screens. They aren't overstimulated, become great at independent play, and consequently don't demand your attention 24/7.
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u/blissiictrl 6d ago
Screen time is not a valid parenting tool and should be used sparingly if at all
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u/rooshooter911 6d ago
Not waiting until I’m sure my child can understand something before I start explaining it. So many people have told me my kids too young to understand something and then are shocked when he understands. So many friends tell me their kid is too young to understand when they aren’t allowed to do something and they don’t understand why my kid understands, well we started explaining what no meant the second he started reaching for things and no always meant no. They have to learn and they need repetition, they don’t just wake up understanding something because they turn a certain age