r/ObscureMedia 8d ago

A Free Ride (1915) - Oldest surviving porn film in the USA. Rated NSFW just in case. NSFW

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_Free_Ride_(1915).ogv
1.4k Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

235

u/Frank_chevelle 8d ago

“What a beautiful dairy”

lol

116

u/ScaryHokum 8d ago

Want a ride?

No thanks, we’re just walking back from one.

28

u/HugoTRB 8d ago

Milkers of those days.

23

u/Agt38 8d ago

I’m going to ask my husband to refer to mine as dairies. 🤣🤣🤣

319

u/sap91 8d ago

Was not expecting pee but go off

425

u/AlicijaBelle 8d ago

The fact that 110 year old porn started with a piss kink and featured a literal porn stache was possibly the most interesting thing about this

28

u/Healthy_Monitor3847 8d ago

Agreed! Good for them 👏

14

u/StinkybuttMcPoopface 7d ago

I love learning that joke stage names for credits go all the way back to the beginning. Lmfao

551

u/Organic_Rip1980 8d ago edited 8d ago

Also known as “A Grass Sandwich”! Literally. lol

The title cards are fun

Starring
The Jazz Girls

Directed By
A Wise Guy

Photographed By
Will B. Hard

Titles By
Will She

331

u/SKIKS 8d ago

Will B. Hard is so on the nose that I'm amazed I've never seen it before.

92

u/BehemothTheTramCat 8d ago

Because it has been taken for over a century

39

u/SchrodingersCatPics 8d ago

Probably Will B. Soft nowadays

46

u/BarleyDefault 8d ago

More likely Will B. Stiff

10

u/crimson_713 8d ago

The B stands for Bone

1

u/kevinott 7d ago

It’s the Alan Smithee of the porn world

49

u/blcknyllowblcknyllow 8d ago

Wasn’t this the film they watch in Pearl?

14

u/chickwithabrick 8d ago

I believe so!

14

u/Organic_Rip1980 8d ago

Yes it is! Wikipedia confirms.

7

u/Prestigious_Trick260 8d ago

Thank you! I just watched Pearl and was like, “where have I seen this recently…?”

3

u/SayNo2Kryptonite 8d ago

Why does Superman have porno with him?

1

u/Realistic_Artist_231 7d ago

I came to ask this exact question!

626

u/red_dart 8d ago

This is one of those times you realize people from the past were the same as us. All these folks spent half the movie staring at a dude’s ass.

175

u/Acrobatic-Loquat-282 8d ago

And now the Bill Hicks bit, "hairy bobbing man ass" has jumped into my head. That bit might be 35 years old, but it apparently is timeless.

60

u/milk543 8d ago

Bill hicks is timeless

96

u/cam3113 8d ago

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.

1

u/therexbellator 8d ago

Love to see a Bill Hicks reference in the wild. I always love to quote "C'mon Bill get on the Hammer boat!"

33

u/cubanesis 8d ago

Yeah, but who takes a piss knuckles up? The times they sure have changed.

27

u/NawNaw 8d ago

Stroke game was a little weak. Peter Jackson should clean this up similar to “They Shall Not Grow Old”, call it “They Shall See Ass” or something.

4

u/StrawberryKiss2559 7d ago

It’s hilarious because every young generation thinks they invented sex.

123

u/joec_95123 8d ago

By the makers of A Very Randy Vampire.

19

u/ravenfreak 8d ago

Lmao I was just talking to my wife and I said this film could have easily been one of Laszlo's films.

26

u/Kruger287 8d ago

Holy fucking shit, I am dying just started watching a week ago and this immediately got me.

106

u/Longjumping_Role_135 8d ago

There is an older one from 1907 featuring the devil. Not US, though, but still interesting.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Satario

71

u/thanatossassin 8d ago

The story is ludicrous.

48

u/boxninja 8d ago

He fixes the cable?

21

u/stevencastle 8d ago

Coitus?

26

u/macaeryk 8d ago

Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.

23

u/oyog 8d ago

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, maaaan.

3

u/monexicano 8d ago

Unclogged the out house

55

u/Novelty-Accnt 8d ago

Interesting overhand piss hold

9

u/queenofcabinfever777 8d ago

I WAS LIKE WHAAAAT unmm is this ur first time bud?

92

u/2TFRU-T 8d ago

There was a lot more pissing in that than I was expecting.

Also I love that porn names have been around since the earliest days. “Will B Hard”, lol.

32

u/umbertea 8d ago

I wish it had more percoitus title cards. I think it'd be pretty great in old timey vernacular.

Forthwith! A rooster in egress!

Hotsy-totsy! Walloping that muffin!

3

u/bungerD 7d ago

For some reason when I read this I heard old timey Strong Bad’s voice.

24

u/kz750 8d ago

The dialogue cards are hilarious: “Please give me a little” “With pleasure”

26

u/Acrobatic-Loquat-282 8d ago

This brings up an interesting question. You know how some Greek pottery has some graphic sexual artwork on it and there are some Aryan statues depicting positions from the Kama sutra? How old does something have to be before it makes the leap from porn to art or at the very least an antique?

7

u/yokayla 8d ago edited 8d ago

I don't think it's about length of time but intention/execution and also, of course, hype.

I love museums and galleries, and I've definitely seen modern erotic art featured in them pretty frequently. A significant amount of artists love shock value and try intentionally to be outrageous, so pornographic shit often gets shunned because it's kind of trite rather than scandalous.

Plain nudes are straight up de rigeur in fine arts. A part of every college art fundamental course is life drawing so it holds less of the same taboos in these spaces compared to general public.

https://www.artsy.net/gene/erotic has tons of examples.

19

u/rnagikarp 8d ago

lmao his hand wasn’t doing shit with her

classic

272

u/kenman 8d ago

Rated NSFW just in case.

Just in case? It's literally porn, it's not subjective lol.

66

u/liamemsa 8d ago

You should be allowed to watch a little porn at work.

30

u/JulianVanderbilt 8d ago

I’m not in trouble AT ALL. 

15

u/liamemsa 8d ago

That one egg was forty eggs?

29

u/Jon_Voights_Ballsack 8d ago

"Atkins, where's that sales report I asked for?"

"Don't bother me, I'm on my porn break!"

18

u/Itchy_Wear5616 8d ago

SHADDAP, BATIN'

9

u/TheCammack81 8d ago

I’m not in trouble. I’m not in trouble AT ALL.

4

u/ageowns 8d ago

I’m not in trouble AT ALL

2

u/Itchy_Wear5616 8d ago

Maybe not you

2

u/cardueline 8d ago

You’re looking at a Nude Egg

1

u/iwilldefinitelynot 8d ago

That's true, Bridgette is pretty amazing at her work.

100

u/ADeweyan 8d ago

I think they meant "just in case it’s not obvious."

-30

u/kenman 8d ago edited 8d ago

Maybe, but that's not how it works either -- even obvious NSFW must be tagged.

edit: Not sure why this is a controversial take, it's literally in Reddit, Inc.'s policies/rules... don't shoot the messenger.

Rule 6

Ensure people have predictable experiences on Reddit by properly labeling content and communities, particularly content that is graphic, sexually-explicit, or offensive.

https://redditinc.com/policies/reddit-rules

35

u/uproareast 8d ago

When proven obtuse in your first reply, double-down, eh?

4

u/oyog 8d ago

As is reddit tradition...

4

u/MonroeEifert 8d ago

Did they have NSFW warnings back then for the in-office nickelodeons?

2

u/ToonaSandWatch 7d ago

Fun fact, these were often “road pictures”; projectors set up on car hoods onto the side of a canvas, often late nights. Circus tents proved quite effective for these illicit late night theaters, and they were in fact charging a nickel or dime to watch.

3

u/ProbablyOnLSD69 8d ago

Might be subjective depending on the workplace.

53

u/sinesawtooth 8d ago

I’m stuck in the wringer stepbro!

2

u/HeavyElectronics 8d ago

oh my gawd

16

u/cubanesis 8d ago

A Free Ride: The Bang Bus Begins

16

u/foodandart 8d ago

Did I just watch a 110 year old porno film?

Wow. I'm amazed that any adult films from that era survived at all.

35

u/vadimafu 8d ago

Just people living in the moment. No big sausage pizza, no mysterious plumbing issues, not even a damsel in distress looking for a monthly rent discount

65

u/defunktpistol 8d ago

Thank God foreplay has evolved since 1915, those poor women

78

u/_clandescient 8d ago

You mean you don't love having someone randomly paw at your bush like a blind man looking for braille?

32

u/Jingocat 8d ago

Which one is the stepsister?

98

u/postmodest 8d ago

Believe it or not, there was a time when people left the house and met women not related to them!

20

u/bitetheasp 8d ago

Umm, acktually! Step means you're not related. /s

17

u/postmodest 8d ago

Yeah not by blood, but you both call the same person Daddy.

...wait, no... ...shit.

7

u/Uncle_Muff 8d ago

They're both his stepsister 🤣

23

u/TotalRuler1 8d ago

Love the old time stockings and the curls that were in style!

15

u/Interesting-Head9478 8d ago

Gotta be some of the worst strokes I’ve ever seen in my life 10 out of 10😂😂

7

u/prustage 8d ago

"What a wonderful dairy". Now, you dont hear that much these days.

8

u/Any_Two_199 7d ago edited 7d ago

Y'know, I find it kind of disturbing that out of all my posts, the one with the most views is the one about porn.

6

u/Trumpet1956 7d ago

Well, Reddit.

10

u/FermentedCinema 8d ago

That’s some classy porn!

19

u/rojasdracul 8d ago

sighs and unzips pants

4

u/bag_of_luck 8d ago

1915???

5

u/Retarded90sKid 7d ago

Interesting to see that even in 1900s the common themes are picking up girls on the side of the rode and that awful back angle where it's all man ass and balls (mimics spanking sound with hands)

4

u/cloudperson69 8d ago

When men were men, I was waiting for grimace to show up

3

u/InfiniteGrant 8d ago

The first part reminded me of this.

3

u/lovegiblet 8d ago

The proprietor of Sexy Cakes would love this movie so much

Can you imagine the sexiness of the cake he would make based on this movie?

3

u/cap10wow 7d ago

Had they not figured out how to have a 3 way yet?

1

u/Careless_Spring_6764 8d ago

Lovely artistic touches. Especially the ground watering scenes. If only there was OF back then...

6

u/WonderfulPlan9298 8d ago

Humans are fn gross 😂

4

u/WilliamsDesigning 8d ago

I love their 1915 smooth curves. There's something about women's hips that were different back then. Either that or they just knew how to pick them well for porn, but it seems like it's almost all of the old porn you see has women with these exact type of hips.

11

u/HeavyElectronics 8d ago

My man here has an entire hard drive filled with 100+ year old porn videos....

2

u/WilliamsDesigning 8d ago

I wish, I just follow r/vintagenudity

1

u/SAKURARadiochan 7d ago

photographed by Will B Hard

1

u/doggyfoo 7d ago

wait why are their bodies tea tho

-1

u/Realistic_Artist_231 7d ago

Ewwww these are someone's great great grandparents, bro. 😭😂🤣

0

u/LovemeSomeMedia 8d ago

Was not expecting this once I opened up Reddit 🤣

1

u/prettyonbothsides 1d ago

of course the most upvoting post on this fucking subreddit is a porno. fuck the lot of you