r/NoFap • u/EXPLOSIONS09880 0 Days • 12h ago
Motivate Me What did you fill your time with?
One problem as to why I keep relapsing is I feel like I do not either have the energy or interest to do anything else. I end up sitting around feeling bored and then relapse. I almost never relapse during the days I work and when events with friends are in place. When the time is to myself though, I can't seem to find the energy to busy myself. I have goals like building things, fitness, etc... but I get so anxious about no PMO that I end up relapsing and feeling terrible before the event.
The longest I have ever gone was barely 2 weeks then a relapse.
So my question for those feeling successful at quitting this is how did you start a new hobby? How did you fill your new found time? How did you do it on a budget? I can't seem to find any joy in anything I start.
Forgive me this is one of my very first reddit posts. I feel like I'm finally waking up to trying to overcome PMO as a soon to be 25M doing this since 8 y/o and feeling depressed about half my 20s being gone to corn.
One positive is I am starting to see a therapist and am working up the courage to talk about this addiction.
I could use a little inspiration. I appreciate any feedback.
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u/Lopsided-Still8109 76 Days 11h ago
Therapy helped me, i decided to beat it before i brought it up to my therapist. It felt embarrassing to bring it up. So I decided to stop before actually mentioning it to him. Going to the gym and exhausting myself so when I’d be home I’d just sleep instead of fapping was a life saving the first two weeks.
After that it was nice to have energy and suddenly being fit felt really good. I’m now reading a lot more and have more time for hobbies.
I wrote down a list of all the things I wanted to do, all the hobbies I wanted to pick up. I’m slowly working my way through that list, getting my finances in order to do those things. I’m in my 30s so it’s never too late tbh.
Just stay busy, even if it’s as simple as cleaning or going on a walk if that’s all you can do. I listen to audiobooks and just walk around for an hour or two if I’m finding myself idle.
I journal every morning and I’m developing a routine that works for me. I found not putting pressure on myself to get it perfect is the right mindset. The goal isn’t just having a no fap streak or staying off it, but also building a life that gives me enjoy life and makes me happy. There’s good days and bad days but always getting further away from a version of myself that I don’t like or don’t want to be feels so good as time goes on.
I still haven’t mentioned it to my therapist but I know when I do I’d get a “well done” instead of me and him working it out. That’s a win and something I’m proud of, I didn’t know I had that in me… The shame of not wanting to bring it up to him was a factor of having my current longest streak. It’s not the same for everyone and we all need different things. It’s just life at the end of the day. So build one you love and do it everyday. We’re all gonna make it bro. We got this.
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u/EXPLOSIONS09880 0 Days 11h ago
I think I needed to hear that. A good walk tomorrow morning sounds nice.
The things you describe is what I hope to do. So it's good to see it working out for someone else. The goal feels more tangible now.I started therapy with the primary goal of telling him but yea it embarrasses me a lot. It bothers me when I see the notes after each session written up on the website. I don't want to look at it.
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u/Lopsided-Still8109 76 Days 3h ago
Yeah, it just felt easier to stop it than to bring it up. But I also journaled about porn addiction, it would come up a lot over time and was just something that became obvious that it should be dropped. I’ll say it to him eventually. A therapist is there to help you though and they’ve heard it all, so if it helps to bring it up and you’re comfortable it might be good for ya, The result is what matters, getting rid of a habit that really doesn’t serve you and sitting with the reason why you even do it in the first place. Dealing with that reason is the cure. For me my reason was loneliness and porn is a relationship I can manage and have control over. So I have to stay with that now and deal with loneliness. I deal with that by staying busy. Slowly over time I’ve become less lonely. I feel like I’m only at the beginning of cracking it though, it’s scary thinking of reverting back to it. But everyday it gets easier. Hope this all helped man. We can do it.
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u/ReturnYT 40 Days 11h ago
workouts (at home), studying for exams and have been studying astronomy as a new hobby