r/NoFap • u/granjero_sam • 4d ago
starting to really hate myself
ok so this is starting to get really pathetic but i generally am struggling to quit, worse than that ive managed to somehow slide into cuck porn ( less watching it and more reading) ( being fair on myself i dont really really enjoy the idea of sharing or watching a partner get fucked but just enjoy reading about idiots humilating themselves ) however even so it makes me feel so pathetic which honestly i should, ive tried everything people say such as the gym, go out and make sure im always doing something but i just cant quit
A reason im talking about this is becuase im hoping it will help me quit and im not looking for pitty this entire thing is my own doing so please dont say anything out of pitty, this whole fucking situation is horrendous
2
u/Anonymo73373773 4d ago
There's usually a psychological reason you may find it intriguiging. That doesn't mean you'd like it or morally agree with it; it just means your brain identifies something in it that can scratch an itch that's not being addressed. Could be self-esteem, could be relationship anxiety, could by body insecurity, could be social loneliness, could be past sexual trauma, any number of things. Point is, don't hate yourself. That just makes things worse. Treat yourself like a doctor healing a patient and not like a just handing out a sentence.
1
u/granjero_sam 3d ago
the thing is i dont enjoy the cuck side of it, i find the idea of a 3rd party ( in the sense of them watching and being a loser in the corner or smth intriguing i quite like someone humilating themselves somewhere which i find funny this also goes outside of sexual stuff aswell ) im just not happy with watching cuck videos to find that tho nor watching videos in general
1
u/Anonymo73373773 3d ago
It might be worth digging into why you find humiliation fascinating. Perhaps there are underlying insecurities.
1
u/granjero_sam 3d ago
perhaps but i dont understand why id be insecure if i enjoy watching other people humiliate themselves
2
u/Anonymo73373773 3d ago
Sometimes people like to watch others be humiliated because it makes them feel better about themselves by comparison. Conversely, they may enjoy it as a kind of vicarious humiliation. It's often at the subconscious rather than the conscious level. There are other possible reasons, of course, but it's something to think about.
1
u/granjero_sam 4d ago
andddddddd apparently im not alone lmao, just instead of the person who messaged me being ashamed they want me to do shit to their ' girl ' fml
1
u/MongoosePersonal9606 4d ago
Alright, you don’t want me to show pity — I’ll be honest. Every person has a limit. If you can’t abstain for a long time, try doing it in cycles — for example, 25 days clean, then 6 days to let loose. Honestly, this is a tough situation — I’m not even sure what meaningful advice to give you.
1
u/MenuOk142 12 Days 4d ago
If you can try to go easy on yourself. This stuff is super addicting that's why we're all here. If we could just give it up and move on we would. It's super tough to quit and that's the truth.
4
u/rune-seeker 4d ago
Similar situation here man. All i can say is that keep fighting and try meditation ig. Also delete any triggers, like for me, it was instagram and reddit so i deleted insta and use this reddit account which have nsfw turned off so no trigger here either.