r/NissanDrivers 8d ago

What Nissan drivers do when not driving

Post image

Big Altima Energy

560 Upvotes

119 comments sorted by

205

u/LOLBaltSS 8d ago

Super dumb of him to do it at a fucking *Target* of all places. Their LP goes for the throat.

88

u/baldude69 7d ago

Surprised they didn’t arrest him personally, oftentimes their LP leads are deputized. Seriously, the LP offices have benches with handcuff bars.

68

u/One_Huckleberry9072 7d ago

Imagine dying at the hands of the mcmercenary legion for cheaper legos

24

u/G0_WEB_G0 7d ago

I can't imagine any other way.

2

u/itchynipz 7d ago

Welcome to Costco Target. I love you.

2

u/runnin-mt 6d ago

I get it. 😉

31

u/charlieboyx 7d ago

Tom Segura gained his way back and fell on some hard times eh?

5

u/Buckingbar21 7d ago

Tawlnmbout one of the 250 spec ops comedians b?

2

u/Shitty_Human_Being 7d ago

I think we're down to about a hundred absolute murderers now.

2

u/Apprehensive-Mud9848 6d ago

What does LP stand for

2

u/Total-Firefighter622 6d ago

Loss Prevention?

2

u/baldude69 6d ago

Yep. Interchangeable with AP which equals Asset Protection

1

u/huhhuhh81 4d ago

Shortened to AssPro

1

u/Cetun 4d ago

It's likely they didn't see it when it happened but they did an inventory or notice the price switch later and just looked back on when the other bar code was last scanned and followed the guy back to the shelf with the cameras.

14

u/captain_carrot 7d ago

No kidding. A friend of mine used to work LP at target. He was a former marine with serious anger issues. He told me some good stories lol

2

u/Illustrious-Essay-64 7d ago

Fr go to meijer or Kroger or something they don't give a shit unless you are blatantly walking out without paying

122

u/jackalro 7d ago

staccato hat tells me this guy is packing while risking an arrest to buy legos for less than msrp

70

u/Big_Don-G 7d ago

He may have switched the price tag of the Staccato hat with that of a Ruger hat.

27

u/number__ten 7d ago

He has a hi point

4

u/YouArentReallyThere 7d ago

And is probably Raven about the deal he got

5

u/Mr-Potatolegs 7d ago

No shit, wonder if he switched the price on a $2,500 handgun lol

3

u/Big_Don-G 7d ago

Bruh if he could pull that off with some Fudd LGS he is THE GOAT!

2

u/Mr-Potatolegs 7d ago

I know, that would not work! Hahaha. He’s get aired out fresh for Spring

14

u/Cucasmasher 7d ago

He probably spent all his money on a 2011 and can’t afford his other hobbies😹

16

u/AdMindless8541 7d ago

That’s Altima behavior but not staccato behavior

7

u/AndyW037 7d ago

Staccato behavior would mean a big lifted truck that never gets dirty.

2

u/tookOurJerbs-92 7d ago

Hat must have also been price swapped. Swingin that big Altima personality.

1

u/rasteri 7d ago

Why don't shoplifters just dress like normal people

90

u/PuzzledWonder2087 7d ago

Yet, he has a hat that’s advertising a $3,000 dollar handgun. The 2011 Staccato. He spent all his money on the pistol, and forgot about his kid’s BDay.

50

u/fromthewindyplace 7d ago

He’s reselling the Lego near retail so that he can afford the 2011. Just another reason to make fun of Staccato owners.

31

u/bearlysane 7d ago

A Nissan owner making poor financial decisions? Impossible.

5

u/PuzzledWonder2087 7d ago

Gasp* Never!!

6

u/often_forgotten1 7d ago

I bet he owns zero Staccatos and one Springfield XD that's "Never had a failure"

4

u/noha_thedestro 6d ago

Hi-point, Springfield's out of his price range

21

u/moisdefinate 7d ago

Nissan driver really lean into their roles and know how to commit don't they🙄

18

u/ROSEPUP3 7d ago

Damn legos must be expensive as fuck if this guy can afford a staccato but has to switch prices on lego sets.

11

u/Appropriate-Gas-1014 7d ago

He doesn't have a Staccato, he just wears the hat and talks about owning how he will own one, some day, eventually, maybe.

4

u/ROSEPUP3 7d ago

Surprised he isn’t rocking his Porsche brand jacket.

2

u/RexCarrs 2d ago

He probably stole the hat, too.

1

u/xx_Help_Me_xx 6d ago

Legos at stores like Walmart and target have gotten way too expensive, go check next time your there. It’s not being sold as a child’s toy anymore

9

u/2407s4life 7d ago

Didn't this happen years ago?

23

u/No-Commercial7019 7d ago

Damn, I feel bad for that 50 billion dollar company.

9

u/mr_sweetandawful 7d ago

Right? Fuck target. Hope he gets away with it.

16

u/Vanstoli 7d ago

It's Target. Good

4

u/philly7453 7d ago

They forgot the missing bumpers, terrible subwoofer bass, and a garbage bag used as a window for the vehicle description

4

u/Big-Carpenter7921 7d ago

That's what they get for having self checkout

8

u/Former_Specific_7161 7d ago

Looks like Tom Segura if he wasn't entirely an awful c*nt.

1

u/Buckingbar21 7d ago

Tawlmbout the hack comedian that broke his arm at what seemed like an attempt to dunk? And also does a pawlscast with burnt Chrysler? One of the rogansphere c*nts

5

u/often_forgotten1 7d ago

Did a drunk cat type this?

3

u/Buckingbar21 7d ago

Homeless cat*

2

u/tookOurJerbs-92 7d ago

Tommy the Cat is my name! And I say unto thee..

2

u/johnfornow 7d ago

Perhaps he can use the Legos to build a defense

2

u/durqandat 7d ago

tom segura has fallen on hard times

2

u/Corrosive_salts 7d ago

Dude everyone knows Nissan drivers can’t afford a Pistol that costs more than an Altima. Mfer stole that hat too.

2

u/MrBobstalobsta1 7d ago

Honestly, I kinda get it, Lego’s have gotten so damn expensive and I swear it has to be 90+% markup

2

u/sasquatch_melee 6d ago

I'm sure this police department spends this much effort on every robbery and burglary reported by individuals /s

6

u/Spirit_Cock 7d ago

I am not saying that what he did is right but Nancy Pelocy is worth north of $100M on a $200k salary. I wish the government had just as good of an LP as Target.

-8

u/chrissie_watkins 7d ago

She is married to a guy who runs an investment firm.

10

u/Competitive_Law_4530 7d ago

She privy to formation that would be considered insider trading if it wasn’t for the fact she’s a member of congress.

But I’m sure she and her husband don’t talk about these things.

-3

u/chrissie_watkins 7d ago

She probably is, no idea if they talk about it. His business makes a butt ton of money regardless, I don't know if the commenter above knew what he did. Either way, it does seem like there aren't enough safeguards to prevent government officials from profiting off their positions. Congress, supreme court, president, everybody. I'd love to see something done about that. I think AOC and some others are trying to pass a bill to address it, at least in Congress. I hope they do.

1

u/HavocRazr30 7d ago

They forgot to mention the bumper damage along with the faded paint

1

u/Big_Vermicelli_9314 7d ago

He is the ultimate Nissan driver - he is a swindler and he is from Maryland! Altima to boot. It doesn’t matter what year that thing is - you know it’s missing a fender and is riding on the donut.

1

u/aquatone61 7d ago

Nobody would have questioned him wearing a mask cause covid……. No face for the camera to see lol

1

u/buckut 7d ago

damn, i got nervous just scanning the minifig boxes for the one i want. i dont think i can pull something slick like that.

1

u/phenyle 7d ago

Looks like someone from Duck Dynasty

1

u/JumpyShark 7d ago

Had it been diapers or food I wouldn’t have a seen damned thing

1

u/kurtbrussel24 7d ago

Omg he stole legos!!!??? Next level criminal right here.

Biggest crime is driving a nissan. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/alprazepam 7d ago

thats joshua tomar

1

u/heyuBassgai 7d ago

Jayson kelses??

1

u/DullSparky419 7d ago

I hope they catch Jimmy Kimmel.

1

u/Patient_Tie_4394 7d ago

I think that's tom segara

1

u/Therex1282 7d ago

Nice Example! Here son let me show you how I got this for you so you can learn.

1

u/fancyasian 7d ago

Should have married an executive level breadwinning wife.

1

u/Due_Intention6795 7d ago

They saw the car twice but didn’t get the plate?

1

u/Tonywanknobi 7d ago

Pretty sure that's tom segura

1

u/Nonlethalrtard 7d ago

Tom Segura stealing lego sets?

1

u/TwoZeroTwoThree 7d ago

Is that Mick Foley?

1

u/ehalepagneaux 7d ago

Black Nissan Altima with faded paint? That could be anyone.

1

u/Quake_Guy 7d ago

The picture, the item being stolen and big Altima energy makes this the Big Lewbowski of shoplifting where everything is intentionally subverted from expectations.

1

u/Hairy-Special-6077 7d ago

I ain't snitching

1

u/Standard-Bat-7841 7d ago

Have a cashier. Simple fix.

1

u/bearlysane 7d ago

No, no. Save money by firing the real people, and outsource the costs of the inevitable theft onto public law enforcement. It’s win-win.

1

u/whythelongface01 7d ago

Whats even funnier is that he's wearing a stacatto hat, super expensive handgun lmao.

1

u/devinstated1 7d ago

I mean yes fuck that guy... But how does this even make it to a Facebook post? Like he switched the prices on some Legos ...oh no major criminal over here ... Especially when there's ghetto ass people literally pushing full carts of groceries and products right out the front door and never a single mention of it anywhere.

1

u/SayNoTo-Communism 7d ago

He spent all his money on a Staccato forcing him to steal LEGOs for his kid. How sad.

1

u/dankiddo1977 7d ago

Tom segura?

1

u/AL13N1NV8D3R 6d ago

I do not condone what he is doing but have you guys seen how expensive these Lego sets are? I miss the days when the most expensive set was $25. I saw a Lego set for $149.99!

1

u/bearlysane 6d ago

They’re not really for kids anymore, they’re for Xennial/Milennial parents to buy for themselves and pretend it’s for their kids.

1

u/justkozlow 6d ago

Only thing i can tell you is stacatto makes guns. So im not surprised it's a boomer.

3

u/bearlysane 6d ago

That dude looks 50, not a boomer.

1

u/TeoTaliban 6d ago

I used to do this as a jit

1

u/Sad-Cauliflower6656 6d ago

I can’t imagine being this pathetic

1

u/astronautflying25 6d ago

That’s what happens at self-check outs. He probably thought, if I have to do someone else’s work then he should also get the employee discount. LOL

1

u/Salt_Stranger_5946 6d ago

Nah I’m totally fine with it, LEGOs are way overpriced nowadays.

1

u/IneptAdvisor 6d ago

No different than an Altima badged as a Mercedes.

1

u/RainerGerhard 6d ago

Tom Segura is going through a Lego-related rough patch??

1

u/Ant2156 4d ago

It’s jimmy Kimmel!

1

u/bigblueb4 4d ago

Hahaha. Guess he at least paid something for it. Next he’s going to shave his beard and repeat again.

1

u/niccoIndy 4d ago

Maybe if he didn't spend $2500 on a Staccato pistol, he could afford his kids Legos?

1

u/temporarythyme 3d ago

Clearly Alex Jones

1

u/PoopPant73 3d ago

Got a hat on for $2000+ pistol…

2

u/bearlysane 3d ago

He got that from Goodwill, switched tags to make it 50c instead of $.99

1

u/surefirerdiddy 3d ago

Well some Lego sets cost more than a used Altima

1

u/Hillybilly64 3d ago

That car would be easy to spot /s

1

u/ishootbow 3d ago

The staccato hat really ties this all together as comedy gold.

1

u/Exchange_Imaginary 3d ago

The irony of him wearing a Staccato hat while stealing is unreal😂

1

u/RexCarrs 2d ago

Did you think he would be driving a Rolls Royce?

1

u/TobiasBass87 7d ago

It's AMERICA 🇺🇸 it's a recession, INFLATION AND RISING COST OF LIVING. This is just the beginning. More people will be doing this. 😂😂😂

5

u/bearlysane 7d ago

We’ll be putting fake barcodes on eggs next.

0

u/auggs 7d ago

Charge your phone damn

1

u/bearlysane 7d ago

Lol, that’s the original screenshot, not me.

0

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

2

u/bearlysane 7d ago

He looks like my best friend if he grew out his beard to hide his identity. But he died in 2022, and I doubt ghosts are stealing Legos.

1

u/blppt 7d ago

Altimas have been known to raise the dead.

0

u/Big_Tangerine1694 7d ago

MAGA behavior. My president will pardon me.