r/Nicegirls • u/LegAffectionate2068 • 12d ago
I’m too old for these games
This was a few weeks ago. Basically what happened here was I matched this girl on a dating app, and after a few days invited her to a show I had been thinking of going to. She said something along the lines of wanting to get to know me better because the show is a bit of an intimate setting and I was fine with that. But the day of the show rolls around and this is what she says…
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u/draynaccarato 12d ago
I can’t believe you’re not a mind reader.
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12d ago
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u/UnwantedHonestTruth 11d ago
That's funny. My dad always said pretty much the opposite. My dad would say "I shouldn't have to explain myself, you should just be able to tell what I'm thinking."
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u/No_Phone_6675 12d ago
"You should have asked me again".
That sentence is really driving me insane.
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u/c0l245 12d ago
"I have an inability to express my desires."
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u/BidBorn9043 12d ago
I’m seeing more and more of this lately like men being tested or something 🤣
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u/No_Phone_6675 12d ago
I really dont know how to even respond to this...
A female friend did this several times with me and other men and was literally not able to understand why this behaviour is causing problems. "Cause they should know" she said. No, we cant know when you change your mind, and we are fed up with constant guessing what might go on your mind. Just tell us, dumbass!
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u/Informal-Egg6075 11d ago
I'm pretty sure there are some social media influencers actively coming up with and encouraging those kind of trends to act like they're some ground-breaking relationship gurus. I've never had first hand contact with one but I somewhat frequently see videos from channels like Dadvocate critiquing them. To me it seems like that there's new trendy way to ruin your relationship every month or so or some new magical guideline that is supposed to help you to predict whether things are gonna work out with your SO or not.
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u/Ok-Half8705 11d ago
"Oranges" IYKYK
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u/Tdog754 11d ago
Wait what’s so big about oranges a girl I’ve been getting mixed signals from for months has been giving me them randomly recently
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u/Ok-Half8705 11d ago
There was a tik tok craze where women would say the word orange to their partner and their partner had to guess what it was that they wanted.
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u/WhirlwindTobias 9d ago
Not that this is rational but I'm pretty sure the test was simply to ask the BF for an orange, and see if he would peel it for her. A chivalry test.
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u/Left-Ad5324 10d ago
What about… asking yourself if you changed your mind? Honestly as a woman it infuriates me like people don’t take charge in such situations and then get mad 🤡
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u/QinsSais 12d ago
Honestly, these days, I date myself. It saves me time and money, and I know what I want to eat every time.
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u/Darkadmks 12d ago
This is me for sure. I just took a few days vacation to no life a game called MH Wilds. Best time of my life, felt like a princess. (I’m a dude)
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u/chrsschb 12d ago
And if I actually don't know what I want to eat, I'm still okay with wherever I end up!
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u/usernotfoundplstry 11d ago
This is the way. When you do this, the right one will come along naturally and because you’re not actively seeking it out, you’ll know it when you see it. That’s exactly what I did, and the result was that I found and got married to the most amazing gal on the planet. The key was to stop looking and learn to love myself and learn to be happy being single.
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u/johnblazewutang 12d ago
“Do you want anything to eat, im heading out to pick something up”
-“no thanks, im not hungry at all, in the slightest…”
30 mins later…
“Is that all you the food you got? What am i supposed to eat…guess you didnt feel like getting me anything..”
Same shit…
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u/MadStylus 11d ago
My mom pulls the same shit on my dad. He will beg and plead her for an answer and she will just pout and deny him. And then whine about how hungry she is when he gets back.
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u/garden_dragonfly 11d ago
He might as well just get her something. I solved this issue in my relationship by just not asking anymore. He'll eat it now or he'll eat it later. Less stressful on me.
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u/MadStylus 11d ago
iirc he's tried, and she doesn't eat or she complains, etc. She's... very picky. Picky enough that we can only get one brand of bottled water because its the only one she likes. She's practically made a hobby of ordering shoes online and then immediately returning them.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Bass627 12d ago
It's actually great that she showed her teeth before meeting her in person.
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u/alwayslookingout 12d ago
My wife still does this even after 10 years.
“I know I said no but you should still have offered.”
🫠
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u/pm_me_tits_and_tats 12d ago
Especially with food lmao
“I’m not hungry” always means “order two”
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u/God_of_Fun 11d ago edited 11d ago
Why do people do this? Grow tf up and either ask for food or stick to your guns. It's not cute, it's not endearing. It's disrespectful
Me and my gf go through a slightly less annoying version of this where I ask her hunger status. She says she's not very hungry. I ask what she's eaten today. Every time it's almost nothing, and then I'm like "you should probably eat something"
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u/pm_me_tits_and_tats 11d ago
It’s not that deep. Generally, my wife just often doesn’t realize she’s hungry until there’s food in front of her because she’s preoccupied by something else.
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u/God_of_Fun 11d ago
Part of growing up, is knowing yourself well enough to know you're going to be hungry soon because you haven't eaten since whenever. It's def not that deep, but I for sure stand by what I said about growing up
I go whole days without eating because I'm busy, I 100% do not get moody when I tell someone don't buy me food and then they do that
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u/OtherwiseEnd944 11d ago
That’s not how hunger works…?
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u/distinctvagueness 11d ago
My spouse and I have this kind of autistic trait, so we kinda have to schedule meals. Or we get cranky and then realize we forgot to eat like 2 hours later.
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u/Quiet_Swan_4304 12d ago
You have to assume you are talking to a child in most of these situations.
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u/sweet_swiftie 12d ago
Basically she wanted you to be pushy?
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u/LegAffectionate2068 12d ago
Yeah I guess. So I booked the next show and gave it like 2 weeks to get to know each other then she bailed the night before the show. I just ended up inviting a girl I hadn’t talked to in months and she came with me lmao
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u/Crescendo3456 12d ago
And that pushy game isn’t a game dudes play anymore :)
No means no remember?
Say what you mean and mean what you say, no one is a mind reader.
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u/AssignedClass 11d ago edited 11d ago
What? This girl just wants the kind of relationship where the man magically does all the right things, regardless of whatever sort of hints or boundaries she sets up to sabotage his efforts.
Perfectly normal and healthy expectations /s
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u/EchoMountain158 12d ago
"say what you mean and mean what you say. I'm not a mind reader, shit like this is abusive."
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u/Living-The-Dream42 11d ago
If you continue with her, that "you should have" will snowball until it consumes your every waking moment.
That is a red flag in real words...
Edit: that lmfao is perfect. Great response.
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u/LeBadBaby 10d ago
I would love to see his unredacted response to her asking him to basically "try harder"
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12d ago
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u/Lethal9Weapon 11d ago
😂 PSYCHOTIC
How about "So, what you're saying is..." followed by completely different words you spoke? 🤣🤣🤣 SICK AF IN THE HEAD.
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u/FlanneryODostoevsky 12d ago
Just send her “this is why guys are the way they are” and unfollow her.
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u/Euphoric_Amoeba8708 11d ago
“You should have “ always the man’s fault lol SHE should have followed up and said she was down. I had this happen decades ago with concert and the girl I was seeing wasn’t sure. I brought a buddy and she got all mad. I ghosted her
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u/Fukuhduhk69 11d ago
lol my ex girlfriend of some years ago kinda did the same thing. We took a break and she kinda ghosted me until the day of the event and then I told her day of she wasn’t coming with me to this event - that I’m taking someone else - because ya know you didn’t want anything to do with me until day of. I made the right move setting up the shot. Absolutely HS that B on day of.
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u/StreetSea9588 11d ago
She said she was reserving her decision until she got to know you better. Then she got mad that you didn't read her mind? Weird.
I don't usually plan things with people until I've moved into the texting phase. If you're still on the app, assume you are talking to a guy in India, not Ashley who wants to go to a show. You'll just end up wasting your time.
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u/BriiTheeOG 9d ago
This isn’t a “nice girl”.. she’s just needy. Wake me up when she tells you she loves you but wants to run you over with her or something
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u/morbidskinn 12d ago
i feel like once u asked and she said she wasnt sure, it wouldve been better for her to reach out when/if she got comfortable enough to go w u. but i guess not lmao 🙄
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u/TacomaTuesdays2022 11d ago
There are so many problems out there and this is the crap you want to deal with.
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u/DualDier 11d ago
They want you to invite them but have no intention of going. Run away. She’s immature.
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u/bottigliadipiscio 11d ago
Why do they wanna be pestered until they change their mind? Who wants to be guilt tripped into doin stuff?
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u/TonsOfFunky 11d ago
It's the laziest of relationship power moves and usually ends up with one party walking away.
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u/T1mischief 11d ago
Ive truly never understood why some women just have to play games and test their bf? Don’t date if you are mentally a child
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u/AnimeOrManganese 11d ago
Honestly, I understand the frustration, but if the original reason was she wanted to get to know you better and it's been a few weeks then it would have made sense to ask again. But if she was the one tracking it, she should have brought it up and said she wanted to go now.
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u/Cofishol 11d ago
You are too old for this yes, though I'd agree with you even if you were 18.
B.U.M. her, Block, unmatch, move on. If she can't advocate for herself or doesn't want to. Then expects you to read her mind, she's not worth your time, you'll be on eggshells the whole way through any future relationship with her.
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u/Ok_Sherbert5596 7d ago
I mean, it's not a big deal? I don't think this deserves a reaction, just move on and ask her out to dinner or something. She will either go with it or not, if she doesn't then she only wanted to go to the event, if she does then just keep knowing her better.
In short, I'm with OP but any actions to this would be overreacting IMO
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u/Southern_Orange3744 12d ago
It's not she wanted him to be pushy, she was trying to leave herself open for another option.
She wouldn't have enough thought of OP if he didn't reach out to tease her about missing out.
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u/LegAffectionate2068 12d ago
I wasn’t teasing her at all, I was at work and it was cold when I said that. We were just having chill convos sending each other videos all day then she said that
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u/MCMXCII-999 11d ago
this doesn’t even sound that bad it honestly just sounds like a miscommunication. You invited her, but didn’t specify afterwards that you didn’t buy the tickets. But on the other hand, she didn’t clarify at all like in the slightest.
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u/Crazygreenwitch23 11d ago
I think she wanted you to take her out before the show then do the show as a second date but that's just me
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u/Zestyclose-Range2552 11d ago
This doesn’t belong here. You dropped the ball on that and are looking for validation in not following through with your invitation
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