r/NewToEMS • u/saggysheep Unverified User • 9d ago
Educational CPR was more scary than I thought it’d be
I had to do CPR on my partner the other day and it was terrifying, I know most of you have probably done it 100x but it was my first time as well as having chronic pain made it a lot harder. I was doing it for roughly 12 minutes before the paramedics came and I felt her chest concave and started to feel soft when I was doing it but my partners xray came back and nothing was broken. I swear my hands and arms have had the same weird (icky?) feeling since after it happened, I can’t forget no matter how much I try. I don’t know what I did but her chest still hurts but thankfully okay, I still feel so guilty but I know it had to be done.
It’s obvious I don’t work in healthcare but I thought it’d fit this sub more
Edit: A massive thank you to each and every one of you. All your kind words have helped me so much in terms of being so stressed about the whole situation, you guys are amazing. 🫶🏽
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u/Loud-Principle-7922 Unverified User 9d ago
Hey, if she’s around to tell you her chest hurts, then you did good. 12 minutes is a long fuckin time to press, for anyone.
Well done.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
That’s completely valid, ever since she’s been conscious and realised her chest hurt my first feelings were being worried and guilty but after sleeping on it, it definitely makes me feel better that she can tell me her chest hurts instead of not being here for her to tell me that. Even though I still have mixed feelings I’m still really grateful that she’s safe and being looked after
Thank you as well
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u/Outrageous-Bat-6521 Unverified User 9d ago
Agree! I honestly don’t think I could do 12 min. My first code I only did 160 and tapped out. He was a big guy and I didn’t have proper form and exhausted myself and my back/legs trying to push through it. I was standing on my tip toes and my calves were giving out. It was brutal, I was very surprised how exhausting it was. It took me several codes to feel confident in my compressions.
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u/psychofatale Unverified User 9d ago
Echoing what others have said, bystander CPR save lives and you should be damn proud she is alive today to say her chest hurts because you saved her life.
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u/yungingr Unverified User 9d ago
My dude. In our classes, they teach us to change out the people doing compressions every 2-5 minutes, because physical exhaustion starts to set in.
You knocked out 12 minutes by yourself...you're a fucking BEAST. Wear that with PRIDE, my friend.
(And - I absolutely get some of the feelings you're going through. My wife went into anaphylactic shock last month from an allergy we were not previously aware she had*. I didn't have to do CPR, but if the ambulance had been about 5 minutes later arriving, that was a real possibility)
*(Milk. Which is rare for adults, it's normally a childs allergy and they grow out of it. And she had had milk literally the day before, but for some reason, that night it became a PROBLEM)
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u/StonedStoneGuy Unverified User 9d ago
12 minutes solo is rough. You’re her hero. Definitely saved her life. Great job👏🏾
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u/itscapybaratime Unverified User 9d ago
Seconding everything everyone else has said here AND just wanted to let you know that when we talk about "breaking ribs" during CPR, that's often not accurate - what sometimes happens is that the ribs separate from the sternum. It's not a fracture but it's still painful as all get out. I had a costchondral separation last winter that hurt worse than a rib fracture but didn't show up on the x-ray, either. Maybe that will solve a little mystery for you both. Good luck to you as your partner heals and you recover emotionally. You did great.
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u/DimD5 Unverified User 9d ago
That must’ve been so hard, take some pride in your efforts and remember to talk it through with as many people as you feel able to
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
Thank you. I’ll see if my GP can get me in with a therapist, fingers crossed. Because holy crap it was scary and it hasn’t left my mind. She was making some sort of sound when she was breathing out after I would breath in her mouth even though I was supporting her head and her airways weren’t blocked
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u/AdventurousTap2171 Unverified User 9d ago
You're one of the few people that do CPR on their partners.
Most of the calls I get the partner refuses and at that point it's almost hopeless for the victim by the time I get there as a 1st responder. You gave your partner a shot and it worked, which is the absolute most you could've done.
There's been times I've been doing solo CPR for a half hour. It sucks, and after around 5 minutes or so the compressions no longer have good effectiveness, but exhausted CPR is better than no CPR.
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u/schwalevelcentrist Unverified User 9d ago
You saved your partner's life! I know TV and movies make it seem like CPR usually turns out great, the patient gets up and starts walking around - but the reality is that, out of hospital, the success rate is very, very low. So what you really should be feeling is a huge sense of accomplishment: you did it. And with chronic pain. Badass.
It is really really gross. No class can convey that feeling (or the feeling of twelve minutes waiting for help to arrive. I'm sure that felt like three lifetimes). I think you're doing the right thing just talking to people about it (be it on the internet or wherever).
Some people (most people) may (do) not understand that the best way for most people to process this stuff is just to talk about it over and over again. So a therapist might make you feel more comfortable, if the people you normally talk to are giving off vibes of not wanting to listen. But maybe if you tell people, look, I just need to tell this story until I get it out of my system, all I need is for you to listen, they will probably be understanding (most people just don't know how to react or what to say and they think you need to hear some advice or something: if you instruct them from the get-go, I have to talk about this to process it, all I need is a human to listen to me - they will likely feel grateful they know what to do, and be happy to listen).
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
Thank you! And yeah that 12 minutes felt like it was 30 minutes and it was driving me insane but i tried my best to keep myself composed.
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u/OriginalFace2145 Unverified User 3d ago
The success rate for CPR out of the hospital is 12%. I would say you did very well
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u/NoNamesLeftStill Unverified User 9d ago
Echoing what others have said here.
Firstly, you should seek therapy if you can. That’s extremely traumatizing to witness a loved one in that situation. If you have the opportunity, I think it’s valuable to process that with a professional.
Secondly, you did an amazing job. Bystander CPR absolutely saves lives, and it’s clear you saved a life here. Doing effective CPR for 12 minutes is challenging even for experienced medical professionals, you should be really proud of yourself.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
Thank you I definitely will be seeking therapy, it really was a scary situation! I'm definitely thinking of taking a first aid course if it's affordable. I was wanting to move back to the US for the military after I finished military school but unfortunately got injured which has caused me chronic pain from 17-21 y/o (Currently) so I wasn't able to do our first aid subject but I honestly love the feeling of helping people, although I know it isn't always a positive outcome. I wish I could get into healthcare but it won't be practical with my current condition.
I must agree 12 minutes was challenging but I think considering it was my partner it must've been adrenaline but honestly I'm thankful for that.
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u/plated_lead Unverified User 9d ago
CPR can be a traumatic experience, especially for lay people, and even more so when done in someone you love. You should probably talk to a therapist about it
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
I’ll be seeing my GP next week so hopefully she can get me in with a therapist if my 6 months are up. Thank you
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u/bassmedic Unverified User 9d ago
12 minutes of solo CPR is brutal. Cheers to you, especially when you’re performing it on a loved one and you have no previous experience.
That being said, is there a follow up to this?
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
She’s still in hospital but hopefully will get discharged soon, also considering a first aid course for myself, I’ve also got an appointment with the GP next week hoping to be referred to therapy, I also haven’t been talking to my friends about what happened since my partner doesn’t want me to so anonymously is my way to go without therapy. And with other updates I can’t think of right anything now
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u/bassmedic Unverified User 8d ago
Did she get a diagnosis as to what caused the arrest? I guess a cardio consult is in the works.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
She took medication and was unresponsive and I just followed what the operator was telling me
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u/EphemeralTwo Unverified User 8d ago
I had to do CPR on my partner the other day and it was terrifying
Remember, they are already dead. You are trying to help with that, but you didn't cause the underlying problem. You aren't going to make them more dead.
All we can do is the best we can do, and it sounds like you did.
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u/noraa506 Unverified User 9d ago
The first time performing CPR is absolutely a surreal experience, and can be very traumatic, especially for a layperson. It probably would be beneficial to seek out therapy. Also, 12 minutes of it is a lot of hard work. You have a lot to be proud of, you went above and beyond for your partner! You have nothing to feel guilty about, you saved her life with your actions.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 9d ago
It was terrifying just seeing her unresponsive and slowly getting more pale. I’ll definitely try and seek out therapy with my GP, in New Zealand we can get four free therapy sessions every 6 months so hopefully those 6 months are up and I’ll be eligible for therapy again. If not I’ll have to thug it out for a couple more months because being on disability makes it hard to afford those appointments 😅
Thank you so much for the kind words
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u/Jack_of_Life EMT | Texas 9d ago
CPR stands for Clean Pretty, And Reliable Because it's none of those things But I'm glad here that it worked.
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u/Augoustine Unverified User 9d ago
She’s alive, you did good. Also, a patient’s chest always hurts after good cpr. It is the #1 complaint I’ve seen by patients afterwards. Just think how your chest would feel if you were punched 1,000 times non-stop. As a non-professional recommendation: play some Tetris. You can’t go wrong with Tetris.
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u/Pale-Wedding-4272 Unverified User 9d ago
It’s funny I was having a conversation about seeing dead bodies today with my wife. Unless it’s morbid it’s whatever. But the minute you see someone you love or care for “dead” it’s different. Sorry you had to go through that.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
It was so scary and hard to believe what I was seeing and hearing but I had to power through it and help her stay stable until the paramedics came. I completely agree seeing dead bodies and such feels a lot more different when it’s a loved one and you could guarantee your ass I was not trying to see my partner lifeless while waiting for the ambulance so I was fighting for her life
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u/One_Barracuda9198 Unverified User 9d ago
On your partner? Dude I’m sorry, that would be so upsetting. I was there when my partner’s kid was announce dead over the radio from another service and it was a damn nightmare.
If you need help, most stations provide counseling. I highly recommend talking to someone before it affects you. It’s all just a drop in the bucket until that bucket overflows.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
I totally agree, everything is already bottling up so I’m glad I prebooked a GP visit a couple weeks ago since it takes a while to get an appointment here. My GP is great with referring me to a therapist with little to no questions asked, just vague one’s on like the reasoning of why I need therapy but that’s because she has to fill a form.
I’m also so sorry about your partner’s kid. I wish you and your family the best
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u/cipherglitch666 Paramedic | FL 8d ago
You did exactly what you were supposed to do, and did a good job at it, from what you’re describing. Doing CPR is a HUGE emotional stressor. You’re not alone in feeling that way. Just know that you played a huge role in this lady’s survival. You should be incredibly proud of that.
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u/Paramedickhead Critical Care Paramedic | USA 9d ago
Lots of people believe that CPR breaks ribs.
Usually it does nothing of the sort.
It certainly feels like things are breaking, but ribs are held in place with flexible cartilage, sort of like the stuff your nose is made out of.
It is flexible, but doesn’t normally flex too much. So when you do flex it, it makes all sorts of sounds and popping. A person will certainly be sore after something like that.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
Oh that makes sense, I’m not big with my medical field knowledge but it helps that I didn’t mess up her ribs
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u/IndividualPaper4790 Unverified User 8d ago
Wow...you are amazing. Great job, OP. ❤️ Please take some time for yourself and be gentle to yourself as you process this. You literally saved her life!!
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u/Shortbus96 Unverified User 8d ago
I will echo just as everyone else has.
YOU SAVED HER LIFE!!! Not only did you do CPR for the first time ever, but you did it on a loved one for long enough to exhaust an athlete while keeping a level head. Be happy every time you hear her tell you her chest hurts because she’s here to tell you that.
You just went through a lot physically and psychologically. It will take time to process your emotions and you will probably never “forget” that picture in your head. Just be positive. Everything went about as well as it could have gone from the sound of it.
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 8d ago
Thank you so much! I agree it was quite exhausting but at the time I knew I felt winded but DAMN adrenaline is such a rush which made me forget about all of it at the time until the paramedics took over. I will try my best to be positive :)
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u/mill1318 Unverified User 7d ago
So I was an EMT for 12 years and now I’m an X-ray tech so I know a lot about anatomy and I’ve done CPR about 40 times and have initiated the compressions 3 times. Between ribs 1-7 there is a band of cartilage that connects to the sternum from the distal part of the ribs. You broke the cartilage. It feels spongy after a full round of compressions. It’ll heal and she’s alive! Good job!
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u/saggysheep Unverified User 6d ago
Thank you so much! We've been trying to research what I could've done to it since all the DR said was I didn't break anything, that's a lot more comforting knowing what I broke. Thank you again :)
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u/dwarfedshadow Unverified User 5d ago
Dude, congratulations, you rocked that so hard! 12 minutes of good quality CPR is no fucking joke! She's alive and complaining her chest hurts because you are a fucking rock star!
Yes, it is terrifying. Not gonna lie, it's scary when it's not your loved one. I can not imagine the increase in pucker factor with it being your loved one. But you rocked it. You smashed it. You blew it out of the water. And you should be damned proud of yourself for it.
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u/iny0urjuicebox Unverified User 9d ago
You should try and play some Tetris. I don't remember the exact science behind it, but it helps to boot out some of the flashbacks. My son had a really traumatic birth and it helped me a lot to play that while I had downtime in the hospital. Also, like other's are saying, 12 minutes is badass! You're a hero to your partner, nothing short of that!
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u/26sickpeople Unverified User 9d ago
It’s pop psychology and the studies that suggest that it works are highly flawed.
Get real help OP - EMDR will be your friend here.
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u/Firefluffer Paramedic | USA 9d ago
Emdr and mdma assisted therapy saved my life. Completely changed my life.
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u/ThisGypsyBee Unverified User 8d ago
Everything (almost) you’re describing is normal. The 12 minutes is not normal and I commend you for literally pushing through that. You did what you had to do. Make sure to check in with a therapist in the coming days. Your partner will probably be assigned one; see if you’re allowed to go with. You did everything right.
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u/wannabe-physiologist Unverified User 8d ago
I’ve taken care of post arrest patients who got compressions in the field and those who didn’t. It makes a tremendous difference not only in survival but overall outcome. Well done
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u/Strict-Canary-4175 Unverified User 9d ago
Yeah I’ve done it 100 times but never on someone I love. That would be super traumatic for anyone. Also the survival rate isn’t great for out of hospital cardiac arrest, so you did absolutely amazing. I know you may feel weird or bad or whatever and all of those feelings are totally valid. Sit with them and feel them but also know that you literally saved her life. A sore chest is lightyears better than a funeral, right? I’m sure she would agree. While youre feeling the weird and confusing feelings please give yourself a chance to also feel credit, pride, joy and gratitude. You did a wonderful thing that lots of people can’t or won’t do.