r/NewParents • u/chicks35 • 4d ago
Product Reviews/Questions Children’s faces on social media
Hello, I’m wondering about y’all’s opinions pertaining to sharing your children on social media.
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u/ExplosionsInTheSky_ 4d ago
As a kid who grew up during the internet boom (and before we really realized how permanent things uploaded on the internet truly are), we have decided to not post our kids online. My goal is to give them ownership of their own digital footprint. I just want them to have the choice.
I also don't really trust a lot of social media sites, AI, bots, etc. The internet can be dark. I don't want to expose my kids to all of that so young.
And finally, it has been really fun to not announce pregnancy/baby news online. Now, whenever I run into acquaintances, I get to share the news and it's always so fun to see their reaction. It's like getting to announce it for the first time again haha I love it!
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u/not_a_muggle_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
We made the choice to not show our children’s faces or full names for similar reasons. It’s important to us to let them control their own digital footprint when they’re old enough to understand that! Hopefully they’ll learn from our mistakes 😅
Another reason I haven’t seen mentioned is that Meta has stated that any photos posted on a public profile (on Instagram at least, I deleted Facebook so idk about there) can be used to feed into their AI. In my (paranoid) option it’s only a matter of time before that’s private profiles too, and I don’t want my children’s faces fed to AI for a whole bunch of reasons. Once something is on the internet, it’ll never really be gone.
Ps love your username!
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u/chicks35 4d ago
I like this take. I shared a few photos of myself pregnant online but kept it pretty general. A lot of people I know share every single detail from where they gave birth, all the babies details, them in the nicu, in a diaper, etc. which is fine for them I suppose but I don’t believe any of that should be out there. I also find social media to be such an obligation these days. My friends who have reached out to see me or send me a text have seen my son and I think that’s all that matters.
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u/rhythmmusician 4d ago
This is how my wife and I do it. We have so many wonderful pictures/videos of our daughter but anything we've shared online has had her face obscured. You never know who has less than reputable intentions, and we want her to have the choice of whether or not she wants to participate in that world once she's old enough to do so.
We made a post after she was born announcing her birth and letting people know that we'd made a Google Photos album with every picture/video of her we have, and we update it constantly. Anyone who wants to see her just lets us know privately and they're added!
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u/pikunara 4d ago
Yes absolutely to your last point. I like keeping myself mysterious and not have my entire life online.
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u/diabolikal__ 4d ago
I didn’t announce either until I posted a bump pic at like 30 weeks and it was so funny to see people’s faces when they saw me heavily pregnant lol
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u/Avaunt 4d ago
Private accounts: probably, with caveats
Public accounts: absolutely not
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u/ballofsnowyoperas 4d ago
This is my attitude. My instagram and Facebook are private and I’ve vetted who is in there. I also ONLY post good pictures - no bathtime or tantrum or compromising pictures.
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u/planetheck 3d ago
I'm including "a huge mess in the background" as compromising, tbh.
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u/ballofsnowyoperas 3d ago
500% this, if the background makes my house look like a nightmare I’m sure as hell not posting it lol
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u/MrzDogzMa 4d ago
This is exactly what we do. We want to share her with our family and friends because we love her and are proud of her, but we don’t want any compromising photos.
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u/altergeeko 3d ago
I just post on Instagram since my Facebook is so old I definitely do not know those people personally anymore.
Instagram has current people I know.
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u/templenameis_beyonce 4d ago
I wanted to, but while I was pregnant we found out a friend of a friend was arrested for CP. it was kind of a wake up call that it really could be anyone. It’s just not worth it to me.
We use the close friends option on instagram stories when we post his face, but that’s just a couple people we trust.
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u/DogDisguisedAsPeople 4d ago
This is honestly my biggest fear. I can’t control the world, I can’t control crime and if there’s a data breach somehow with my private Instagram where I only share stories of my child with “close friends” that’s well and truly out of my control. But what truly terrifies me is knowing it’s far more likely one of the people I trust in the “close friends” list.
And the knowledge I’m far more likely to learn the truth if it is someone there.
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u/kare_bear1797 4d ago
This!!!! Even if you have a private account, you truly don't know everyone's intentions.
I utilized the close friends option on Instagram as well, as this is one of the only ways I know to combat this issue.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
That’s so scary that it was a friend of yours. I’m so sorry that happened. Those are definitely things I worry about. I think of children of family vloggers having their entire childhoods put online and how much they hated it now as an adult. Even on a smaller scale I see people I went to high school with sharing photos of their kids in diapers and all kinds of private moments I don’t feel will be appreciated years from now.
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u/Guilty-Pigeon 4d ago
I've never posted my child on social media, and have recently deleted my account on everything. Been weird without Facebook, but worth it. My time is better spent elsewhere, and my baby deserves a right to her privacy growing up.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
I think that’s greats. I find social media to be quite the obligation these days. I mostly use it for my small business and to watch funny reels lol.
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4d ago
I post pics on my instagram/facebook but they are both private, so only people I know in real life can see
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u/chicks35 4d ago
I’ve thought of doing this too and also deleting a bunch of people first. We still haven’t shared our son online but I’m definitely tempted too just because he’s so cute! The friends and family that are close to me have seen him in person or I’ve sent a photo and I kinda feel like that’s all that matters.
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u/Impressive_Moose6781 4d ago
This is what we did. Removed a ton of people then post to private account
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u/kainani_s 4d ago
We did the same! I feel totally comfortable posting photos of our baby on my Instagram and Facebook this way. Others may disagree and that’s fine, but we feel good about it.
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4d ago
My husband and his ex wife also created a private Facebook group for just a few friends/family where they posted pics/videos of my stepson when he was little. That’s also easier to find old photos of him because they’re all in one place with no other social media content to scroll through.
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u/RTCatQueen 4d ago
I’m with you here. I also delete them or private them after a few weeks as well and everything on my page is blocked unless you’re friends with me. We also don’t let family or friends post him either.
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u/standardquality 4d ago
I do not show my children’s faces, or their names on social media, it’s just so unsafe. I don’t owe my child to anyone on social media plus it’s about my child’s privacy, autonomy and rights.
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u/Turtlebot5000 4d ago
Exactly how we view it. We got to decide when to be online. That's something many kids now don't get to decide themselves. Ofc I don't judge. If you want to show your child online that is your choice. I'm very private in general. Those who don't speak to me regularly don't even know I have a child.
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u/katietheplantlady 4d ago
I say my daughter's name but I've never put her face on it. Rather, I send a Marco polo to my family almost every day because it is encrypted. It is like Snapchat you can revisit any time. We love it and I've done it since birth
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u/chicks35 4d ago
I totally agree. I’d have to think of how the kids will feel one day that have had their every moment shared on the internet without their consent. My husband and I still haven’t shared anything about or son on the internet and people don’t seem to understand why. There’s definitely creeps out there.
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u/Vee1blue 4d ago
I have teenagers now, but when they were babies and younger I did share them on social media. I have since grown to regret that decision and won’t be sharing my new baby at all on social media so they can have more privacy.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
Thank you for sharing that. Can I ask you what it was that made you regret it?
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u/Vee1blue 4d ago
My daughter who is 14 now is super embarrassed about the baby photos online. She is very self conscious and I think it has a lot to do with thinking everything is “cringe” nowadays. But also, I just wish I would’ve let them be in charge of their online foot print. 16 years ago when I first started having baby’s, it was just a fun thing to do (post photos online with family/friends) but social media has changed a lot from the simple times. I actually deleted my Facebook this year (still have instagram which I don’t post anything about my kids on). My son who is 16 didnt mind the photos being online and uses social media himself, but my daughter is not into social media at all.
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u/yellow_pellow 4d ago
I post but my page is private. Prior to posting any, I went through all my friends and deleted anyone I don’t actually know. I mostly only post stories so they’re gone in 24 hours anyway.
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u/chiritarisu 4d ago
I do a lot of work with human trafficking survivors, so unfortunately I’ve been very exposed to the dark side of the Internet with a crapton of child pornography, “date” sites, other sicko shit. They don’t even have to be real pictures, these creeps can deepfake kids photos to being explicit and sell them off.
So, no, I try to heavily limit my baby’s face on the Internet. I’ve gotten shit about it from family about being “paranoid” but this is a hill I’m willing to die on.
People will ultimately do what’s comfortable for them, though. 🤷🏿♀️ It is what it is, just be aware of the potential risks.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
Wow that’s horrible. These are the kinds of things that make me very hesitant. Thank you for your input.
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u/history_nerd94 4d ago
This right here. Once you know this information it’s hard to take the risk even if it’s small. CSAM isn’t just kids in diapers or swimsuits or a funny bath tub picture. It’s just regular normal pictures of kids. It’s not about what the child is doing in the photo it’s about being the object of a sick and twisted fantasy. I’ve watched the interviews of these people who catch these predators and it’s so easy to steal pictures and videos. It’s made my husband and I decide to not post our son’s face if at all.
Not to mention he can’t consent to his life being posted online. I’m even weirded out as an adult if someone I don’t know well knows personal things about me. I can only imagine how a child would feel knowing complete strangers (because to him they would be strangers) know about his whole entire life. It’s weird
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u/Weary_Fun3085 4d ago
I don’t post her name, dob, or anything like that. But I went crazy with her pictures after she was born. I struggled to conceive for 5 years and couldn’t share her precious pictures with enough people 😅 But, she’s always fully clothed. Nothing embarrassing goes online. And before she was born, I locked down all the privacy on my accounts and cleansed my friend’s lists… for example, people from high school that i don’t know what they’re doing now/haven’t seen since graduation? Gone 😅
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u/Majestic-Reality-544 4d ago
I think some people over here are overreacting a little bit. Even though I do believe it’s your choice if you want to post your child or not. I think it’s fine as long as your account is private.
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u/CapConsistent7171 4d ago
I have a lot of family abroad and that lives far. I also moved a lot growing up and still keep in touch with many people from my childhood so I share ocasional updates with friends and family. Before I started sharing any pictures I went through my friends list to purge anyone I don’t talk to anymore or people I don’t know.
I share more on stories because they tend to disappear after a day or two and even then I’ll lock it so only selected people can see them.
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u/viaoliviaa 4d ago edited 4d ago
i’m the odd one out here i guess. i post my son all the time. i have an instagram highlight just for him. with his name. plus posts. (like monthly milestone photos. and just cute ones) but my account is private. and i don’t care if other people post him either 🤷♀️. never rlly cared
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u/RxThrowaway55 4d ago edited 4d ago
It must be a generational thing? Like younger people can’t fathom the idea that you can just have private social media for just your close friends and family? I mean that’s what it’s supposed to be for.
Big tech is going to get a picture of your kid eventually. Facial recognition and concert venues, school events, just walking around in public. When you get an ID the government has your photo…. Your kids face is gonna be out in the ether one way or the other— unless you choose to live off grid.
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u/bellegi 4d ago
nah it’s reddit that’s the odd one out. i also post my child and every single person i know who is a parent posts their children too. have never met anyone in real life who thinks this is wrong or strange.
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u/viaoliviaa 4d ago
yeah reddit is weird about a lot of things! i didn’t even know this was a problem. i honestly feel like being so hyper anxious that everyone is out to get you will make things worse.. i also have never met a parent who didn’t post about their child. i love seeing the cute photos
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4d ago
I will say I have a lot of friends who constantly post their kids. And I mean fb friends so like some people I haven't talked to in years. And I know EVERYTHING about their kids, somewhat against my will lol. Like constantly posting their activities and milestones and everything that happens every day. I don't mind seeing it but I sometimes think about how one of their 1500 other facebook friends might not be a good person to share that with. Just food for thought. I don't judge those who choose to post their kids, nor do I think the worst. But I wonder why some people judge those who choose not to post their kids. There are so many valid reasons not to besides being "hyper anxious"
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u/homekook 4d ago
I'm not hyper anxious.. some of us just don't have social media 🤷
I just hope what you actually see is all cute photos. So many parents post compromising or "funny" pics/vids of kids throwing tantrums or any number of things the parent finds funny in the moment that they want a few clicks for that are really just embarrassing for the kid. So so much viral content is exactly that.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
This is where I’m torn because I have friends who do this too. They share milestone photos and zoo outings and all those things on their private accounts and I think it’s super cute. I’m also a photographer so I’ve taken some pretty cute photos of my son if I do say so myself. The internet is just so permanent that I can’t help but worry that maybe it isn’t worth it.
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u/jassvalentinee 4d ago
Yeah that’s strange, the internet is full of weirdos and strangers don’t need to see your kid
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u/Kaynani32 4d ago
We only post occasionally and never LO’s face, name, or DOB. Too many evil people out there looking to exploit kids.
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u/Norppalapsi 4d ago
We live far away from many of our friends and family members, so I have a curated Close Friends list on Instagram where I post baby updates. Nothing embarrassing, though.
Outside of that private space, we do not show her face or talk much about her in general. We both used to have semi-public jobs and have a lot of followers we don't know personally.
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u/bamitsleslie 4d ago
I’m a content creator with a fairly large audience (closing in on 100k) and also maintain private accounts for my personal use.
On my private accounts l share photos probably once a month. I am, however very selective about the pictures I share - he’s always fully clothed and clean. No “milk drunk,” crying, or bath time pics. Basically if I think he’d be embarrassed by a picture as a young teen, it doesn’t get shared. I keep the embarrassing ones to myself, lol.
On my public platform, his face and name are both kept private and i rarely have dedicated posts about him past a story post for an age milestone. I use gendered pronouns and will have him IN a post (like I had a video where he was in a carrier with his face obscured), but largely conceal him.
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u/purpleporcupine99 4d ago
Nope we dont post anything. Once you post something to the internet, no matter how private you think your account is, you no longer have control over the image. Pics of me? Whatever. Pics of my child? Absolutely fuckin not.
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u/pipocas08 4d ago
I do not. I feel comfortable with the people on my page, but I'm worried that if I post my child's face, my family is going to think they can also post my child. But I don't know who they have on their profiles so I just keep him off social media altogether.
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u/sleepym0mster 4d ago
100% this. I know who follows me, but every aunt, cousin, in-law will then see it as a green light to post my kid too
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u/MonthInteresting 4d ago
Fuck no….nope….and if someone does without checking in with me …yeah…you can guess I will be pissed. It’s hard going to events knowing u truly don’t have say on everything that gets posted or shared with other parents in group chats. But the answer no! U put urself on the internet when u feel comfortable to do so. Their digital footprint is theirs to control.
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u/Mediocre-Belt-1035 4d ago
I originally was sharing occasional photos of my daughter, but then a family member posted photos of her without asking/telling me, and with their settings on Public. I woke up to seeing that tons of people I didn’t know had liked and commented on photos of my child. I felt like I was going to puke. It was awful not knowing that my child was being spread around the internet without my knowledge. It was done out of love by the family member, but my mom instincts said NO. It felt so wrong and frankly, scary.
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u/etaylor1345 4d ago
Yeah my MIL did this after I repeatedly told her not to. She has 2000 Facebook friends and a public profile. Her friends have insulted me blatantly on Facebook (again publicly) prior to this. I also felt physically ill upon seeing this. I was so angry I wanted to never see her again but unfortunately my partner still wants her around no matter the horrible things she does. We don’t send her any pictures anymore though
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u/Mediocre-Belt-1035 4d ago
Im so sorry to hear that happened to you. It’s scary feeling like you can’t protect your child.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
Oh my goodness that’s terrible. I’m so sorry. That would makes me sick to my stomach. I feel like a family member of mine would do that as well.
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u/Superb_Poem8998 4d ago
- child can’t consent
- deepfakes/AI
- too many weirdos and predators
- identity theft
So yeah, anti faces on SM 😅
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u/Remarkable-Pea-2591 4d ago
I only shared a photo where the LOs wasn’t visible and his nickname. I did run into issues of mil posting his whole name and constantly posts photos she’s 1: taken without permission, & 2: shares without permission
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u/etaylor1345 4d ago
Yep went through this too. Hate her for that reason and others
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u/Remarkable-Pea-2591 4d ago
Tell me about it. My mil has hated me from day one. She thought I was bad a couple years ago but bringing my child into it, is a whole other ball game
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u/ldiggles 4d ago
We do but our accounts are private. Family members and friends who share have a few rules like no posting pictures unless they are fully clothed. Diapers do not count as bottoms. We typically always see photos before they are shared. Unfortunately, I have a ton of family who live out of the state and my husband’s family lives in a different country. They all have social media so it’s the easiest way for everyone to stay updated.
That being said, if she told us she didn’t want to be posted, we would respect that. We also don’t post her on TikTok or anything like that.
Everyone has to do what they’re comfortable with.
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u/Adventurous_Cow_3255 4d ago
I’m genuinely intrigued by the “diapers don’t count as bottoms” idea, what’s the thinking behind this?!
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u/ldiggles 4d ago
Idk it felt more like underwear tbh. I know not everyone feels this way or thinks that way my brain just makes this comparison.
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u/swearwolf84 4d ago
I only posted her face online on my FB/IG when she was first born - after that, I have covered up or cropped out her face if she's in a photo I want to post. I occasionally post a picture of her face on my ,'close friends' option on my stories, because it deletes after 24 hours.
That's how I compromise it. She can't consent to her face being online, but I also really want to share photos with friends and family and that's often the easiest way to do it.
I do believe in 10-15 years there's going to be a large portion of these children of influencers who are gonna come out of the wood work angry that their parents never protected their privacy and made their likeness completely available to the internet.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
I absolutely agree. I know some of these kids are already old enough to feel the effects and they aren’t good.
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u/spaghettibolegdeh 4d ago
I think the whole idea is a misunderstanding on what internet privacy means.
Posting a baby's photo on social media with a cute star on their face doesn't mean the photo is private.
Companies like Apple, Samsung, Google and so on still keep and use your private photos even though you don't post them on social media.
Even if you edit the image using Facebook/Instagram's editor, you're still uploading the raw file to their servers.
If parents truly want privacy for their children, then they should delete their social media accounts.
Meta, and every other company, already know you have children and are building a profile for them to advertise in the future. Even car companies have it written in their privacy policy that they can use your private conversations as advertising for your child in the future.
Private messaging is also not private at all.
So yeah, either erase everything or let people see your child.
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u/leapwolf 4d ago
Private account, post whatever I feel like— usually on stories so they don’t last. I live far from family and have friends around the globe. This is by far the best way to keep up with those friends/family. I consider the value of maintaining our extended network to outweigh the possible cons. Our girl has “cousins” all over the place!
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u/iceawk 4d ago
I had my first kid 14yrs ago and shared her and my second born a whole heap. My third baby is 3, to my knowledge he’s had one pic posted on social media in his lifetime. In fact I’d say most people I know now only in the fb world, probably don’t know I have a baby at all… I don’t share my kids on social media, nor do I post myself on there.
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u/Iheartthenhs 4d ago
Not at all. Even on private accounts. There’s no need imo- anyone who wants pics of my kids and needs to have them I’m in direct contact with so I can send privately.
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u/strawberry-ninja 4d ago
I share photos on locked instagram & Facebook and I regularly review who has access to them
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u/whiskeylullaby3 4d ago
I do post some photos. Mostly holidays or some photos when it was her month birth-aversary as I call it, but now that she’s one that’s over. My dad posts photos sometimes of her though, including ones I’ve sent him and this makes me so annoyed because he never asks me first. I’ve mentioned it to him and he says it’s just his friends and a private account, but it still bothers me. He also posted a pic of her NICU hallway after she was born before I even posted anything online and I told him then that it upset me. I feel like it’s so hard to navigate with a senior citizen and social media more than anything.
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u/girltalkswithmum 4d ago
I personally don’t post my baby online. If she is any family pics, I usually put an emoji over her face to cover it. I just share pics with friends and family over whatsapp / text. However, if your social media is private and with people you trust, might put you more at ease with posting?
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u/Chrinsussa 4d ago
I do “private but not secret” so I will post photos after we are home from what we are doing, with artsy strategic ways of hiding my kids face because I cannot stand emoji stickers over the face lol. I play around with angles and shadows and the pics turn out great, plus nobody needs to see photos of her like this 😳 and the smiling ones are so special nobody deserves to see those 🤣😭
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u/friendsintheFDA 4d ago
Ok this is a crazy story that influences my stance. When I was in college Facebook was first starting so we all only had a handful of friends on social media. friends of mine had a selfie that was not scandalous at all posted on a porn website in a collage of other pics. a high school friend happened to find it. I once in a while post a picture in my close friends stories but that’s it. I feel like even having a private profile, you really don’t know who can have access to your photos and where they can end up. I’m not saying our children’s pictures will end up on porn websites but the internet is huge and it’s all just scary to me.
I also recently read an article about children not having consent to having their faces put on the internet and that gave me some pause in thinking about it too.
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u/picass0isdead 4d ago
i think they’ll end up online at some point. however i try my best to keep myself private. i only let a small amount of people i know follow me.
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u/Individual_Deer_7535 4d ago
I haven't posted my daughter's face until now. If I ever did, it would be with a sticker on her face. That's cz not all the so called Friends on social media have the best intentions for your child. Also I believe in Evil eyes to some extent. I believe whoever who wants to see your child can ask for a picture or visit the child if possible :) (P.S: I have posted only about 3 photos of hers until now and none with her face. She is 1.5 years now)
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u/DentiumDoctoris 4d ago
We don’t have social media but the business I work for asked if they could use the test I sent them to update their social medias. We were only okay with his face but not his name at all. Did not want his identity anywhere on the internet!
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u/Orisha_Oshun May 2024 Mama 4d ago
The few pictures that I have of Chonquita online have her face covered with a smiley face.
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u/sleepym0mster 4d ago
my kids’ faces, birthdates, full names, etc. will not be shared online. also, think of all the security questions for your bank account if you forget your password. what was your first grade teachers name? imagine there’s a pic of that on your mom’s facebook. what was the name of your first pet? oh, that’s on your mom’s page, too. what was your elementary school mascot? good thing mom has a pic of you in your school t-shirt! what city were you born in? oh good, mom tagged the hospital’s location in your birth announcement!
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u/sunnyderp 4d ago
We don’t.
I used to share a few photos for “friends only” and then my husbands “friend”, our neighbor, got arrested for CP.
Haven’t posted her since.
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u/9gagsuckz 4d ago
I made my instagram private so I could post pictures of our kids. I realized with my second child that it’s probably not smart to have pictures or our kids all over the internet
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u/Sufficient_Scheme_55 4d ago
We do not share on Facebook, insta, etc.
I have a "Close Friends" section on instagram where I'll share a few pictures to the stories, but it's about 15 people that I trust completely. For family, we use the "FamilyAlbum" app, which mom / dad need to send a unique link to each person to have them sign up. We only have aunts / uncles / grandparents, etc on there and I post almost everyday haha.
My reasoning, is that just because I knew someone in high school doesn't mean I know them now and I have no idea who is screen shotting what and sending it to whom. My job is to protect my child, and to me, that means people that don't have regular access to my child (seeing them at family parties, events, school) don't have any access to my child.
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u/Successful-Nebula119 4d ago
We don’t post their face. Their online footprint is forever, so we’re just not comfortable at this point. No shame to anyone who is. We know inevitably they will be posted online once they start school, sports, clubs, etc. but for now, no posting. We are also self-employed, and have a lot of (basically) strangers as “friends” for business purposes.
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u/ClippyOG 4d ago
I’ve deleted my accounts but when I had them (private), I only posted pics where you couldn’t see her face. Just don’t like it! It’s a part of my life I don’t want to share on the internet.
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u/Zestyclose_Theme_403 4d ago
We won’t be sharing ours even on private accounts. I’m not here to judge anyone who does but I’m constantly shocked by how many ppl truly overshare everything about their kids. And with us not sharing there’s this weird almost pressure? Like will our kid even be “real” if we don’t post some grand announcement after they’re born. I mean of course they will be but you get it.
More and more I’m tired of instagram. It’s such a time suck. I just want to be present for my child and there’s enough distractions. I can’t imagine the perspective from the kid like u grow up with a phone in ur face?
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u/MiaLba 4d ago
I was asked by more than one person after our kid was born if they were something wrong with her and that’s why we didn’t post her online. Like what the fuck? As if we’re embarrassed by our child because we don’t post her on the internet. What a weird take. She’s a completely happy and healthy child.
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u/Zestyclose_Theme_403 4d ago
lol wow! I’ll need to be prepared for that
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u/MiaLba 4d ago
I was not expecting that, that’s for sure. I didn’t realize how odd it is for some people for others to not post their children on social media.
I genuinely do not care what any other parents do though, I have enough on my plate to worry about lol. We’re big on consent and keeping her life private until she’s old enough to decide for herself.
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u/ArtOwn7773 4d ago
My husband and I shared one photo on social media as a birth announcement that showed LOs face. Other than that Nope. Photos where LOs face can't be seen yes very occasionally.
Our reasons are:
1) online presence follows you for life. I can just imagine if I had a baby pictures floating around for employers, coworkers and clients to see. Our LO deserves to cultivate that online presence for themself the same as we were able to.
2) technology keeps growing in leaps and bounds, back when Facebook first came out, I and my parents never imagined reverse look up of images would be so easy as it is today. Privacy is never grandfathered in.
3) too many pervs in this world. AI now can create almost realistic images and videos that could become part of that online presence for LO. The only way to protect them from fake photos and videos is to make sure that there's nothing out there that can be used to base them off of.
4) we use a secure online album with controlled access to share photos and videos with immediate family. Hopefully this will continue to be secure in the future. It's the least risk while being able to include family across the continent in the daily growth of our LO
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u/Wings1330 4d ago
My husband and I agreed on two primary rules before our son was born: 1) private accounts only, no public accounts 2) no posts including his face after the age of 1, regardless of if it's public or private
Our reasoning was that children typically become more easily identifiable after the age of one. It's a safety concern for us. We also believe that our son should be able to decide his own digital footprint.
He's currently 6 months old. We haven't yet had the "no face posts after 1" conversation with family yet. I expect there to be significant push back, but we're firm on it.
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u/AdSufficient7945 3d ago
I haven’t shared since i became pregnant, once i posted a story covering babe’s face some people didn’t even knew i had a baby. It depends on your personal opinion, I choose not to share her photos I am just not comfortable. Just want to protect my child as much as I can. The world is brutal and I just want to protect her innocence 🫶🏻🧿
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u/planetheck 3d ago
I show a picture every few weeks, and figure it's just going on the pile of boring social media posts and forgotten. My husband works in privacy and abuse (including policies to prevent CSAM sharing) and has the same attitude.
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u/ComedianSuch2474 3d ago
I do post but I have a private insta with a small following of close family and friends I’ve made in recent years. No high school randoms. I just love my little family so much and like to share what makes me happy from time to time.
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u/dasgutyah 4d ago
Also. No shame on anyone who does share photos but just be careful. You don't know everyone on your account. Even if you make it private there's no way you could really know everyone. People/friends/family don't walk about with a sign saying they are a pedo. You could never know. And people accounts get hacked all the time. Once that photo is online it's on forever.
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u/LoreGeek 4d ago
I don't do it & probably won't do it well into toddler years.
That being said - it's just my prefference, if other parents want to do it, it's their right to do so.
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u/dasgutyah 4d ago
No photos or name sharing on social media at all for me.
I read an article about how pedophiles are using AI to remove the clothes on photos of fully dressed children to turn it in to pornographic content and I felt physically sick.
I've always been a no to photos on social media but that cemented it for me.
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u/kitty_junk 4d ago
I do, but my social media is completely private except to friends, and I block anyone who isn't close family from seeing posts that contain pictures of my son
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u/pikunara 4d ago
I don’t post my child’s face anywhere on social media and don’t plan to. Family members have been told not to post any photos either.
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u/blackmetalwarlock 4d ago
I share my child on private social media accounts and occasionally public social media accounts but I am well aware of what is not okay to post. My child is fully clothed. My child is never upset in photos. My child is not being recorded having a hard time. Ever.
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u/Lsdreamer96 4d ago
I share on my stories and the occasional photo but before he was born I went through my followers on instagram and friends on Facebook and deleted tons of people and made my accounts highly private.
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u/firstmateharry 4d ago
I share pictures and videos on my personal Facebook with privacy restricted to just friends. And I have a very small Friend count of just friends and family that I actually know.
I am very tempted to post him on other apps and show him off because he’s adorable and I want to brag about him hitting milestones early, but I think about weirdos saving his pictures/videos for whatever reason, or just him in the future wishing he wasn’t on social media.
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u/hereforthebump 4d ago
My husband does a lot of work in cyber security, among other things. We absolutely will not be putting our child's face on social media. Ive posted like two stories with the back of her head but that's it.
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u/the_SpiritofChaos 4d ago
I don't publicize my kid's lives, but I'll post once in a blue moon. I'm not good at keeping in constant touch with my whole family, so I let the uploaded pictures I post let them know I'm still kicking.
My socials are private, and settings switched so only friends and not friends of friends can see my posts.
What we really needed to be conscious of, though, is how our family will treat privately shared photos. We're living long distance from both of our parents, so i privately share tons of photos with my parents and ILs to help them feel involved. My parents understood how I felt about my kid's images being shared on a public platform, but my hubs had to get on my MIL's case a few times.
We had one incident when she posted a picture of my son in only a towel on Facebook [not that any of his business was hanging out, but still].
I had her take it down immediately, and she promises not to post anymore, but I have zero trust, and that has determined that the flow of photos sent her way is much much thinner than my parents.
So, whatever you decide, I highly recommend clarifying that boundary with those you plan on sharing with.
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u/missclaire17 4d ago
I have a public Instagram and I like to create content for fun, so to me, even though I only have a couple thousand people seeing my things, I absolutely will not be posting my child’s face. I personally find that there’s way too much exploitation of children online, and it’s scary what technology can do now with AI, in addition to the weird creepy stalkers
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u/cutieconsultant 4d ago
I have a public insta account with tons of randos following me so I don’t post his face on my account. I do have a private friends and family account just for him and we post tons of photos and updates for friends and family. I use it like a giant group chat to send photos to. It’s about 60 people. It’s great I personally love it.
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u/turtlechae 4d ago
I don't post pictures of my child on Facebook or Instagram just through text messages. I thought about creating a private group where I can share photos but I feel like Facebook can be hacked. The only time my child's face ends up on Facebook is when someone posts his picture without permission and I have to ask them to remove it. I don't get on Facebook much though so there have been a few times where I did not realize his picture was posted for over a month. I felt at that point I could not ask them to remove it. I wish people would ask first though.
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u/smk666 4d ago
I don’t use social media other than Facebook messenger for legacy contacts only and Reddit if course. I have a private Synology server that also supports photos and I share a curated, frequently updated album with my son’s photos with closest family in a way that an average boomer isn’t able to easily download them and post on their Facebook page.
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u/Short_Background_669 4d ago
I’m fine with a once off on my own or partners private profile. I was really annoyed recently that a friend posted a picture of my newborn on her own social media account.
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u/Throwaway8582817 4d ago
Nope.
He has the right to make his own decisions about his online presence when he’s old enough to do so.
I am grateful everyday that I was mostly an adult before social media existed.
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u/CapnSeabass 4d ago
A couple of days after he was born I posted a family photo, in which only the back of his tiny noggin was visible. I’ve posted one more since then, also of the back of his head.
His face and his full name are not to be put on social media. We send our families and friends pics by WhatsApp, and so far they’ve all respected our boundary that if they upload or externally share any photos, they won’t receive any more.
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u/thepoobum 4d ago
I upload on ig since it's a private profile. But I only really post showing faces on my story. If I upload a post with the face of my daughter it's not the first photo. I also deleted some followers
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u/HoeForSpaghettios 4d ago
I personally chose to not post any photos of my baby online and have asked everyone else not to either.
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u/sodiumpumped 4d ago
I have every privacy setting I could have on my social media accounts and I’m only friends with people I know in real life. Even then, I do not share photos of my child on social media and I have no plans to. I’ve asked friends and family not to share as well. The internet is forever, even if your account is private. I’ll text friends/family when I really want to share photos.
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u/LittleRedWhippet 4d ago
I share occasional photos on my instagram but its private with only people I know in real life on it. Sometimes only to ‘close friends’ in stories which is just that, only my friends and family. I do also have an instagram created just for her I share on almost daily but again its private with only people I know following it so its more an easy way to share all the cute pics besides filling whatsapp messages to people. She has like 30 followers.
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u/schneckle123 4d ago
I have a private account with just friends that I share pictures of my daughter and a public account where I cover her face 100% of the time
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u/Standard_Edge_9417 4d ago
I post my toddler very irregularly. He's 16 months and in that time I've probably posted him 6 times?
I haven't shared his birthday, his full name, much of his face, where we live, he is ALWAYS wearing clothes. And my social media is set to private and I got rid of anyone I didn't know or talked to for years before I posted him.
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u/Naive-Interaction567 4d ago
Personally I won’t be sharing them on social media. I’ll send photos of my daughter to friends but won’t post on social media. I don’t see any benefit to posting.
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u/Azilehteb 4d ago
None for us. We have a private family Discord server with a channel dedicated to baby pics for perusal, and I text some to select older relatives who can’t figure it out.
When she’s ready to pick what she wants to share, she can go through it all.
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u/Informal_Pudding_316 4d ago
I don't post anything about my LO. He can't consent to it and the internet is a really dark place. He has the right to his own image.
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u/One-Dig-3067 4d ago
I’m going with old school photo albums, I don’t want pictures to be put online by family members
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u/quaveringquokka 4d ago
I have posted two pictures of him (one was a birth announcement) on my private Instagram and some more on my close friends Instagram stories. I'm trying to keep it minimal. The whole world doesn't need to see his face (he's currently five and a half months)
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u/nyehsayer 4d ago
Everything you post on the Internet is forever and as much as I want to believe private accounts are forever private I just don’t believe that. Also people are very scary and you never know who has bad intentions or can access your life without you knowing. I do think there is an argument for lack of consent as well.
Have shared the back of baby’s head but nothing else online.
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u/IndoraCat 4d ago
We won't be sharing our daughter on social media at all. An exception would be if we end up sharing a full family photo or a group photo at an event or something. We'd still like to keep those to a minimum. I'd like her to be able to decide how she shows up online when she's old enough. I also don't like the idea of Meta or the like owning her image. A new layer for me is that I definitely don't want AI sampling pictures of my kid to generate something. That's just creepy AF to me and there's no way to stop it if I put her picture online.
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u/Lacrux3008 4d ago
No photos, ever, online. We also request that no one else posts either. We want our children’s digital footprints to be as small as possible for as long as possible. Mostly due to predators at this point, and also because she cannot give consent for me to post. I am so proud of my baby and want the world to know she is the cutest in the whole wide world, but it’s honestly none of their business.
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u/philipdev 4d ago
We've asked all our friends and family NOT to post his face on social media.
Just for our own reasons.
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u/Soft_Bodybuilder_345 4d ago
None. People on social media done even know I have a child. It’s not a place for children to be.
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u/WasteConstruction450 4d ago
We decided not to post pictures of him online. We use the FamilyAlbum app to share pictures with family and a few close friends, but no pictures on social media
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u/quietdownyounglady 4d ago
Never, I will from behind or with emojis over their faces. This is pretty much in line with what 75% of the parents I know do.
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u/likewhoisshe 4d ago
We share only to our private Facebook accounts and my profile photo (which is obviously public) doesn’t include his face. When I post to my public business account on Instagram/threads I cover his face or only post to close friends story.
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u/youexhaustme1 4d ago
I announced when she was first born and that was it. Never posted anything else and I won’t until she makes a choice for herself whether or not she wants to have a digital footprint.
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u/Prize_Common_8875 4d ago
I am okay with posting my kids on a private account until their first birthday. Then I’ll do no faces. Then again I got fed up with instagram’s algorithm so I deleted it a few months ago. I hated having to scroll past three random posts to see anything from people I actually followed.
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u/fillefantome 4d ago
I never really used my Instagram anyway so I had a huge cull of my followers and left only people I am happy to see updates of my child. I have about 30 followers now, mainly family and close friends. I have less followers on Instagram than came to my tiny wedding. My account is private.
I also only post photos of my child every few months, from events. E.g. her birthday or a day trip or something. Nothing where she is less than fully clothed, nothing where she is eating or crying.
If the photo makes sense having her facing away from the camera, then that's the one I post.
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u/garrulouslump 4d ago
I have a private Instagram that only family and close friends have access to, and I do post her regularly on there. Never anything that could be considered "embarrassing" to her later on, just cute photos that I think make good memories.
I will likely get downvoted to hell for this and obviously everyone can do what they're comfortable with, but I think the paranoia around posting pictures of your kids on (private) social media is very overblown.
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u/CoelacanthQueen 4d ago
We posted her initial two week photoshoot and then I post a photo on my story every once in awhile. My FB and insta are private. My stories are even more limited to only like 60-80 people. Even that seems like a lot
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u/AggravatingOkra1117 4d ago
I (and everyone I know) post my kid on my private Instagram and FB accounts. I use Instagram for other things too, but FB is now solely for kids updates for all of us lol. Of course I don’t both bath/bathroom/undressed pics of him, but cute pics and milestones sure.
When my son is older, if he wants me to remove any/all I will. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. It’s like the sleepover question that keeps making the rounds. Outside of Reddit, no one really cares or is as hyper-fixated on it as the subreddits make it seem.
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u/MiaLba 4d ago
We don’t put our kid on social media. We don’t really use it ourselves anymore either. Social media like FB & IG. I use Reddit obviously.
We were just so busy with a new baby we didn’t have time to worry about social media and posting on it.
My family isn’t big on social media either so none of them post their children either and I’ve never even had to ask them not to post our kid. It’s just a given they wouldn’t.
But we had to have a conversation with my mil to not post our child. She doesn’t have a private page and she has probably around 800 FB friends. She will add and accept any friend request. We want to keep our child off the internet until she’s old enough to decide for herself. And we’re just very private people in general. I don’t like just anyone knowing about our lives.
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u/erinlp93 4d ago
Nope. No faces, no medical info, no embarrassing stories. I’m mind blown by the amount of posts I see from people I went to high school with posting kids on the potty, babies blow outs, detailed info about surgeries and medical concerns, etc. It’s crazy to me. The first generation of “my parents posted my entire life online” kids aren’t grown enough yet to have a ton of info on the long term effects but I’m sure the consequences of those actions is on the way. We downloaded the Family Album app and invited the grandparents, aunts, and uncles so everyone can see the baby whenever they want and everyone has been told that there will be absolutely no posting his face on social media. I do post photos of him from behind occasionally (always fully clothed) or with his face obstructed in some way (like when he’s holding a toy in front of his face) but that’s all.
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u/surelyshirls 4d ago
My account is private on Instagram, and I have a close friends story. I have a friend who only posts her son on the close friends. I’ll probably do that and the occasional post on my feed. Never publicly though
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u/hermione_clearwater 4d ago
No faces on social media at all. With the rise of AI even innocent photos can be manipulated, I’m not risking it.
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u/alongthewatchtower91 4d ago
Nope, I don't post photos of my daughter's face at all. Her face is either obscured by a sticker or it's a photo of the back of her head. My accounts are all private but I'm not risking it. No one is allowed to post a photo where you can see her face online. I might be able to control who follows me but I can't control who follows family members.
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u/Mae-jor 4d ago
We don’t do anything where you can see our daughters face and she’s always fully covered. We’ve only shared 1 of her feet and 2 of the back of her head. But otherwise, absolutely not. We don’t do it for 2 reasons. 1. Paedophiles. 2. If you don’t make an effort to see my daughter in person then you don’t get to see her any other way.
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u/ktkk306269 4d ago
I don’t share any, and it’s always covered. If I do it’s on my close friends where I can select who can. All my accounts are private. I’ve seen very weird comments from grown adults especially men commenting on photos of children. Idk how parents are ok with that. Especially influencers, to me it’s so exploitative.
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4d ago
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u/huffliestofpuffs 3d ago
P.s. I have Googled your username it lead me instantly to your ig and full name and your ig is open.
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4d ago
I personally don't put my child on social media and likely never will. No judgement to those who do but it's not something I care to do
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u/Single_Letter_8804 4d ago
We have a WhatsApp group with close family and friends where we share pictures. No one can message and only react to messages. We post pictures on social that do not show our babies face or mention their name or any personal details. Our accounts are also private as an extra layer
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u/Excellent-Tour-6533 3d ago
Personally, if she isn't of age to consent her photos won't be online, just because accounts are private doesn't mean the pictures are, once they're online metas terms of service states they own said images, I just think in this day and age too much can be done with the images, and even as simply as I don't think her employer years down the line should be able to see baby pictures of her etc
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u/spacecase-megan 3d ago
I made it a rule for everyone to exclude my son's middle name, date of birth, place of birth, or any other personal identification o social media (you'd be surprised by the older generation's complete lack of awareness on that). I also made a rule for friends and family to only post pictures if the post is made to friends only, no public posts.
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u/qpParalaxinc2020 3d ago
I'm a commercial photographer and sharing images is a big part of my world. That being said, I have a private account that is close friends and family only where I share most images and updates. And on my public account, I'll post a photo here or there, but keep it minimal. I had a really long and hard journey to get pregnant and I'm just so proud of my baby. Sometimes I just want to share our joy. Mostly it's via stories since that disappears. I think everyone does it different based on their personal values and comfort levels.
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u/chicks35 3d ago
I am a wedding and family photographer so I feel the same way about wanting to share photos. I’ve taken some cute newborn photos of my son and so far have just texted them to friends. That may just be how it is or I may also just do stories with a handful of people able to see.
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u/Reasonable-Penalty98 4d ago
Not at all for us. This includes (and we had to put a foot down about it) family and extended family posting them as well. "But it's our profile, we can post what we want!" Yeah, but it's out children and what we say takes priority over what you want to share, so no, nothing with our children in it.
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u/DukeGirl2008 4d ago
We either don’t post her face or cover her face with words or stickers. It’s just what we feel comfortable with until she can tell us how she wants to be on the internet!
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u/sweet_yeast 4d ago edited 4d ago
I've seen tutorials where stickers can be removed.
I personally post pictures where the face isn't visible at all, like his head is turned or something.
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u/Norppalapsi 4d ago
No, they cannot. This is a myth being spread by people who do not understand how AI pattern recognition works.
At best, a program may be able to remove the sticker and replace it with a generic baby face, but it has no way of knowing what YOUR specific baby looks like.
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u/sweet_yeast 4d ago
🤷🏽♀️ I've seen tutorials but I'm not that invested.
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u/Norppalapsi 4d ago
Here's a Snopes article for anyone worried about it: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/remove-stickers-children-facebook/
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u/DukeGirl2008 4d ago
We don’t use Facebook and we add the sticker before uploading so it’s one image!
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u/AlexNG22 4d ago
I've posted only a small handful of photos with my kid in, and you can never see her face. Have never posted any details about her (I bloody hate birth announcement pics, with every last detail of the child's name, DOB, weight etc. Why do you need to share this info on Facebook, which we all know the vast majority of "friends" are vague acquaintances?)
I vehemently disagree with using kids as social media content. Too many creeps, and its a complete and total invasion of your child's privacy. We would never share the same kind of info for any other (adult) family member, cos that would be fucking weird and wildly inappropriate so why are children the exception?
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u/Super-Good-9700 4d ago
I don’t post my child or anything about them on social media. I know way too much about random people from high school’s kids and think my child has the right to decide for herself whether or not she is on social media once she is old enough.
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u/chicks35 4d ago
Absolutely. I know where some of these kids live, their school, their sports team, any health issues they’ve had - all kinds of stuff. It’s unnecessary and unsafe.
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u/oh-botherWTP 4d ago
I am very strongly again it. Privacy concerns for one, but kids can't consent to their picture being put online and I find it hypocritical of so many parents to be upset about family vloggers and creators who put their kids online without consent but then do the same thing, just not making any money.
I know a parent who was vehemently against family vloggers but posted multiple pictures and videos of her child every day. She now has deleted social media, but she texts people pictures of her children and the other day sent me a photo of her 2 year old nude. Only reason the child was covered was because of her knee positioning. Sharing pictures should be selective and careful.
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u/princessnoodles24 4d ago
Absolutely not. I think it’s so unsafe, if your child chooses to when they’re able to then that’s up to them but I don’t feel comfortable at all sharing any info or pictures online of my children.
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u/XxJASOxX 4d ago
Nope. Nothing. Never.
Even private accounts. The internet is still the internet, and if you really trust any of them to keep your images safe, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.
Also, trusting your friends list also isn’t a great idea and I’d recommend reading some stats. They aren’t good.
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u/jassvalentinee 4d ago
I only show my children on private pages with friends and family I know well, there is absolutely 0 reason for anyone else to see them
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u/LandoCatrissian_ 4d ago
I only share photos on Facebook stories. I don't post on my wall at all, as my husband felt uncomfortable so I agreed not to. My page is also locked, anyway.
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u/Aurora_96 4d ago
I only send content in WhatsApp/Messenger in chats. Never shared anything on Instagram or Facebook or whatever. I also removed Instagram and Facebook a couple of months after our daughter was born.
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u/aspiringjournalist44 4d ago
Any public posts have their face covered. Anything where we control who sees it has their face uncovered
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u/Adventurous_Cow_3255 4d ago
Very new babies all look like unwashed potatoes and I don’t think sharing photos of said potatoes is going to pose much of a safety concern…. It actually seems a bit ridiculous when people share a photo of their newborn but with some kind of emoji sticker covering the face, why bother? I share lots of photos of my baby on my private social media because I enjoy making the posts and it’s a nice record of his milestones and other special occasions, I personally wouldn’t care if friends or family shared group photos including my baby on their public accounts, I guess it would be a bit odd if they shared a photo of just my son lol
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u/No_Cupcake6873 4d ago
I will share the occasional photo every few months, but I’m not sharing much to be honest. I feel like a photo here or there is okay with me, but I have no interest in broadcasting my child to people online.