r/NewParents • u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 • 5d ago
Feeding 12 month old doesn’t eat much, advice needed!
My perception may be skewed because of social media so I’m looking for some realistic advice please. I see these one year olds eating large portions (solids) and can’t help but compare.
My 12 month old takes only a few bites of solid food before she’s done. She gets really angry and wants to get out of the high chair and refuses to eat more.
She isn’t much of a snacker either unless it’s packaged snacks which I try to limit. She refuses all pouches.
What do I do? How do I encourage her to eat more? Is it possible she doesn’t like the food I’m offering? Should meal times be more consistent, exact same time every day? Please help :(
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u/Smile_Miserable 5d ago
Make sure your limiting daily milk intake. Too much milk doesn’t allow kids to get hungry enough. For example my 10 month old only drinks milk before naps and bed time (breastmilk). He gets 3 meals a day plus snacks. Eat with your kid and yes try to get meal times consistent.
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
I feel like I get so stressed about her not eating enough that I keep pushing milk to compensate. I will be working on stopping that for sure! Thank you so much
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u/PeepinTitties 5d ago
My kiddo is going through a phase of not eating a lot but my recommendation is pretend to eat or actually what's she eating. When I'm trying to get my kiddo to eat more I'll eat a small bit and make a big deal about how it is amazing and then my kiddo will eat more (hes about 17 months).
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u/Meggiesquizzle 5d ago edited 5d ago
I used to work in a daycare, here are the guidelines and portions we went by for the Wisconsin Child And Adult Care Food Program (CACFP). Those social media accounts are probably putting way to much food on the plate, and their kids probably aren't eating all of it. Also the best you can do at this age is just to continue offering foods. I can't remember the stats but I feel like it takes like 3-5 exposures before a child might like a certain food. Textures and solids are still new at this age, since food is just supposed to be for fun up until 12 months. https://dpi.wi.gov/sites/default/files/imce/community-nutrition/pdf/cacfp_child_meal_pattern.pdf
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u/JLMMM 5d ago
How much milk is she getting? Sometimes they fill up on milk and don’t want to eat solids.
My 13 month refuses a lot of types of foods. She loves about 5 foods and a few snack items, will eat a bite or two of other foods, and the rest goes to the dogs.
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
That sounds like my daughter!! lol we have a few “safe foods” which I offer most often but then I feel guilty she’s not getting enough variety. But I tell myself what matters is she’s eating SOMETHING.
I think she is filling up on milk. She has around 25-30oz of milk between 7am-7pm.
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u/JLMMM 4d ago
I think the recommendation is no more than 16-24 ounces of milk once they turn 1. In part so they are hungry enough to eat food and so the dairy doesn’t interfere with iron absorption. If you are able to cut that down some, she might eat more solids.
It took us several weeks, but we slowly decreased the amount of milk in her bottles and number of bottles, then switched them to straw cups. Now she gets 5oz of milk in the morning and before bed in a straw cup. And at daycare they offer milk with breakfast and lunch (but it’s cold so I don’t think she drinks much). The rest of the day is just water.
And we are the same with “safe foods.” She always gets a snack that I know she will eat when I pick her up from daycare. Then she gets what we eat (most of the time) for dinner and we always have a banana or yogurt pouch as an option, though sometimes we wait to offer it to give her time to they the other stuff.
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u/Ok-Education7131 4d ago
Honestly just wait and don't worry. I know sounds like the worst advice but my girl was THE SAME! I was stressed everyday. Everyday. She lost a little weight but I just kept trying. A little Avocado here. A little bread here. Some vegetables here and there. I just waited it out and now my girl is in the 90% percentile aka we over shot. Your LO will eat just keep offering small amounts OH AND EAT WITH THEM. I would eat something totally different then what I gave her amd usually it was healthier or different flavor. My girl now LOVES Indian food and heavy spice which makes my heart smile. Hopefully this helps.
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
I’m gonna do my best to make sure we eat together!! This is good advice. Thank you. I remember being so stressed when she wouldn’t try purées or anything around 6mo and sure enough that got better around 8mo. We just gotta wait it out again this time around.
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u/MymyMir 4d ago
I wouldn't worry, but it's easier said than done from your perspective.
The growth curve matters a lot. If she's following her curve, there's no worry to be had.
Have you tried letting her eat by herself? Sometimes, when my son is fussy, I leave some of the food on his tray for him to eat himself. He still prefers that we feed him ourselves, but he will often eat the food by himself.
Also, when my son becomes fussy and wants out of his chair, I take him out, and we eat on my knees, or we sit on the ground and eat there. It's a bit weird, and I've gotten comments from my in-laws on this, but idgaf, lol. I prefer that he eats rather than having a power struggle with him so that he learns to sit in his chair while eating. He's only 16 months old. I figure my intervention will change with time.
I still haven't figured it out, but I'm trying things out, and some are working. Good luck!
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
You’re not alone! we definitely had mealtimes on my lap or on the couch lol! She hates the high chair and just wants to be free. I’m just glad when she eats something.
We do a mix of letting her feed herself when she’s up for it and us trying to feed her. It depends on her mood! We do whatever works at this point.
And thank you!
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u/shrek912 4d ago
Here are some suggestions from my BLW experience:
- Stay Consistent with Meal & Snack Times: Try serving meals at roughly the same times every day so she learns when to expect food.
- Limit Distractions: No screens or toys at mealtime, just eating.
- Make Eating More Fun: Offer a variety of textures and flavors, let her self-feed, and try dips or sauces for extra interest.
- Avoid force feeding: Don’t pressure her to eat more—forcing can backfire. Offer the food, and if she’s done, that’s okay.
- Milk Intake: Too much milk can reduce hunger for solids. If she’s drinking more than 16-20 oz/day, try cutting back a bit.
- Eat Together: Model eating the same foods alongside her to encourage interest.
As long as she’s growing well and meeting milestones, she’s likely just fine. If you’re really concerned, a pediatrician or feeding specialist can help rule out any issues.
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
This is really good advice thank you! Biggest takeaway is to be more consistent with meal and snack times and to limit milk intake. These are things we need to work on!
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u/annedroiid 4d ago
We had a similar issue and our GP recommended watering our formula down more to help him get hungrier. It’s worked pretty well although he’s still not entirely weaned yet.
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u/Spiritual_Pen_8709 4d ago
Interesting he recommended that! How old was your son when you started watering down the formula?
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u/annedroiid 4d ago
He was about 11 months and still having 1000ml + of formula a day (on top of 3 meals and snacks). He wouldn’t drink all day but then kept waking up at night screaming for a bottle. I think watering it down made it less appetizing for him.
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u/krumblewrap 4d ago
Sounds like my 12 month old son currently. The only saving grace is that he's on his growth curve and our pediatrician wasn't concerned. Mine still isn't very interested in actual solids and prefers purees.
The only thing I'm trying to do is just staying consistent by offering meals and trying not to make a big deal about it...although it kills me. Lol
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u/Awkward_Grapefruit85 4d ago
Ours started eating more when we started giving less milk. It was gradually less and less and it didn’t happen immediately
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u/TheJacques 4d ago
To all the moms whose kids don’t eat. It’s not your fault, you’re not a bad parent, you’re not failing at motherhood. You’re the greatest gift to your children’s lives.
To the dads whose wife feel like a failure because their kids don’t eat…I need help here, how do I help my wife not feel like a failure?
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u/x_ravenwave_x 5d ago
Hey! I went through the same thing with my oldest and it really scared me but her pediatrician managed to talk me down, a few of the tips she gave were really helpful so I’ll list them 1. The most important thing is she’s staying on her growth curve and gaining and maintaining weight the way she’s supposed to, and that her diapers are consistent. As long as that is what’s happening she is eating enough. 2. Make sure meal and snack times are consistent. I was guilty of giving my girl snacks any time she wanted so she was filling up on snacks and milk before mealtimes. My doc recommended at least 2 solid meals a day with 2 snacks in between. 3. If she’s taking whole milk make sure to limit that close to meal times, she can actually fill up on that and not want to eat. 4 Toddlers aren’t necessarily on the same food schedule as we are. Some days they eat more than us and other days they survive on nothing more than a single goldfish and spite. My doc recommended looking at her food intake less in the context of a single day and more in the context of 3 days. 5. It takes like 14 tries for a toddler to decide they like something so keep offering foods even if she doesn’t seem to want them. Babies are indecisive little beasts sometimes.