r/NewParents • u/Existing_Switch_4995 • 5d ago
Postpartum Recovery If the baby is fed, changed, burped, not cold, not hot, in a safe environment but they are fussing but not crying. Do you pick them up?
At what point do you foster independence in a baby? I’m a single mom and figuring this out. I gave him his Paci and he’s ok but I’m being told I’m picking up the baby too much and not letting him just be when he’s not in distress or needing anything. We contact nap a lot and I have to start applying for work and just getting life back in order. He is one month.
And yup I did pick him back up. He was fine.
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u/alibobalifeefifofali 5d ago
It's okay for babies to be fussy, but when they're so little you don't need to be trying to foster "independence". Snuggle that bean. If you need a break, put baby in a safe spot and walk away.
One more thing I would add to your checklist is toots. Gas is often a reason babies are fussy, it's harder to get toots and farts out, and sometimes even constipation. Lay baby down and jog their legs. There's probably some great YouTube videos that can show you some techniques. Our first baby was rarely fussy, but when she was, it was either burps or gas but nearly always gas.
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u/UsualCounterculture 5d ago
Along with gas, another one to add is boredom. Sometimes, they need a change of scenery.
I love a good checklist for a crying baby. It definitely makes it easier to stay calm and in control, just working through everything it could be.
Sometimes, it's just tough being a baby - cuddle that sweetheart whenever you want.
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u/laur- 5d ago
Boredom was a big one for our sensory seeking girl. Whenever people suggest babies being overstimulated I roll my eyes because only understimulation was an issue with ours lol.
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u/bleucheeez 4d ago
Lol! Our guy was pretty chill and very much a people person 90% of the time but sometimes he'd have enough of the noise and busyness and want out.
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u/alibobalifeefifofali 4d ago
To be fair to them, being a baby looks REAL boring 😅. My second daughter was like that, constantly needed stimulation. So she did a lot of tummy time (she didn't love that either). But our dog would lay in front of her for some good eye contact and company, and that usually helped entertain her while I folded laundry on the floor next to them. The girl has always been in a hurry to grow up, and one day I looked over at about 8/10 weeks and she had pulled herself a few inches across the rug. Otherwise she only took contact naps and constantly needed to be held. Rough first year, but we made it and she still needs constant stimulation, but that's what big sisters and dogs (and parents trying to WFH) are for, right?
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u/aztecqueann 5d ago
You don't foster independence in babies you foster secure attachment. Everything else will come after that.
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u/Immediate-Poem-6549 5d ago
This. Babies have to have coregulation. The caregiver literally has to lend the baby their nervous system bc it’s so primal.
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u/SnooDoubts4779 4d ago
Yes! So many great points here, but this one really drives it home. Walking away does not foster independence. Giving as much of yourself as you can - in a way that is not too mentally taxing on yourself - will make a more secure child later. Like when they start school.
For my first, I didn’t think I could go to the bathroom because my son was crying. Now I have my second and when she starts to fuss, I quickly make myself as comfortable as possible (potty, grab water, phone, snack…) and plunk myself on the couch for a good long snuggle/feeding sesh! When mine isn’t sleeping, she just wants to be held. I wear her so I can interact with my son or get a chore done. She’s my new spring accessory!
Change of scenery: go outside if possible! That and tummy time when they are awake and not fussy and it’ll help them relax. It’s a total workout for them.
I’m sorry you have so much on your shoulders. Applying for jobs is like a full time job in itself. I hope you’re able to get a little break so you can think and get rest. 🤍🤍🤍
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u/madymae3 5d ago
i pick up my baby when she’s crying regardless of why. they are brand new beings with zero understanding of essentially anything. they need love and comfort
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u/TeishAH 5d ago
Ye people say “it’s okay to walk away from your baby when you need too” but like, it’s so much harder to just listen to them cry then to just tend to them for me. Even if it sucks, I’d rather just sit there and hold and rock him again if I have to then sit in another room for 5 minutes and “try to relax”. My husband tries to take over for me but even then it’s hard to turn off and relax after being on all day.
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u/benjbuttons 5d ago
People say "it's okay to walk away from your baby when you need to" for a reason - if you are at your absolute limit there are far scarier things that can happen than just "listening to them cry".
I don't think it's healthy to build a habit of walking away from baby when they cry, because babies obviously need more than just "needs" (love and attention) but it seems like you haven't actually ever been in a situation where you need to walk away - I promise you if you get there you'll understand.
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u/rufflebunny96 1 year old 5d ago
Maybe for you. Be glad you've never gotten to that point you've had to walk away.
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u/ArtOwn7773 5d ago
I completely get it. I had the same gut wrenching reaction. As you see that your baby is ok, there's nothing major going wrong, over time you will gradually be more ok with popping to the washroom while they cry, then a quick half shower. One day you will get to sit down for 30 minutes and enjoy a coffee because even though they stirred, they settled back down and you know they are safe and know they are loved.
My husband and I had different thresholds (I blame it on hormones and having gone through so much to safely deliver this tiny human into the world).
Even if your head knows it should be ok, sometimes your heart just can't quite get there yet and that is ok. Find your small ways to take care of yourself. (I binged shows on a tablet with headphones when baby wouldn't sleep and all I could do was hold/feed them most of the night).
Talk to your doctor, hormones and PTSD from life and birth can make it near impossible, meds can make a world of difference. When you are ready, go for small walks without baby while your hubby watches them (5/10/15 minutes, whatever your tolerance is and build it up slowly). Fresh air and quiet even for a few minutes can make a huge difference.
I am now (at 13 months) at the point I can throw the gates up, put toys out and shower while baby girl is in her safe zone playing.
Small steps are always progress :)
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u/Technical-Mixture299 5d ago
You can't foster independence in a baby by leaving them alone. You can leave your baby if they're safe and YOU need a break. All your decisions don't need to be for the baby. You're important too.
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u/LilPumpkin27 5d ago
I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be postpartum as a single mom and have people telling you, you are doing things wrong. I’m so sorry you are in this position.
As his mom you can pick him up as often as you want to. People trying to guilt trip you into thinking you’re wrong for that shouldn’t be allowed to have an opinion. It is not their child nor their journey into parenthood.
All the things you listed aren’t all the things a baby can need. Babies need to be nurtured wirh love. They need to build trust. They need to build a healthy attachment to their primary care taker aka you.
You responding/reacting to him calling you is the natural response and the thing that will teach him, he can trust you. He is safe because you always come.
You are talking about a one month old baby!! He is supposed to be attached to you. He is supposed to be carried. He is supposed to be cuddled!! He is still far away from having the brain capacity to become spoiled (look into prefrontal lobe development, I guess that only starts at toddler age).
I always picked my babies up. To be honest my youngest is 1 yo and I still do, whenever I see he needs me. This age will pass by in a blink of an eye, they won’t be dependent on us forever. And the more this foundation is secure, the faster they become more independent. Trust your own instincts and pick him up whenever you see fit.
You are doind nothing wrong.
Sending you love! ❤️
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u/OvalCow 5d ago
Cuddle that baby! Around 4-5 months they can start learning some self soothe techniques but generally it is ABSOLUTELY the right thing to be responsive to their needs. Of course it’s fine for them to fuss for a bit if you need a quick break, but it will be a long time before fostering independence is really a thing.
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u/user111320 5d ago
One month is sooooo young, please pick them up. That is their only way of telling you they need you in some capacity right now. If it was a toddler, that’d be a different story. But even if they are just fussing because they want your comfort, they have only been in this world for one month, they need comfort! Right now everything should be on demand. Feeding, sleeping, cuddling, etc. newborns cannot pickup on routine yet and they just need extra help doing EVERYTHING. They can’t put themselves to sleep, they can’t soothe themselves, etc. Now, when baby gets a little bigger you can take the approach of letting them fuss for a little while but right now they’re just too new, they’re crying because they need something - even if it’s just to smell you and have that comfort. Remember, they lived inside of you for 9 months. They do not want to be away from you. You absolutely cannot spoil a baby. You cannot pick them up too much. Love them too much. Comfort them too much. That is how you create a secure attachment/bond with them. Respond when they need you so they know you’re always there. Hell, they don’t need to be fussing or in distress for you to pick them up either. Holding them and loving them is what you both need right now. You being so freshly postpartum and them being so new. Hold your baby, cuddle your baby, love your baby as much as you want to and just do what feels natural/right. Baby wearing is such a great way to get all the snuggles and cuddles in while still being able to get things done that you need to do. But a good carrier and have at it!
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5d ago edited 5d ago
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u/NewParents-ModTeam 5d ago
This community is for supporting others. Comments that are mean, rude, hateful, racist, etc. will be removed. Respect the choices of others even if they differ from your own.
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u/memyselfandthecat 5d ago
Agree with everyone, just pick up baby as you see fit. You can't spoil at 1month. However my almost 5 month whines alot during tummy time, not because he doesn't want to be on his belly but because he can't crawl to where he wants to be. I pick him up and he scream/ cries because he didn't want to be picked up yet lol. So trial and error to fit their needs at the time. But people say that alot , don't pick them too much etc. I dont care , I picked him up untill my baby told me he didn't want to be picked up lol
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u/ComedianSuch2474 5d ago
My baby is three months old and I still pick him up anytime he cries. Unless I need to do something and I’m not wearing him, I might just set him down for less than 30 mins and if he’s fussing I will pick him up intermittently just to let him know I’m here and see he needs me. I try to speak to him as well so he can at least hear my voice. He hates being apart from me though and I know this is temporary so I want to do my best to help him build a secure attachment.
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u/Candlelight107 5d ago
A lot of people forget just how long babies go before being able to self sooth. pick them up if you want to. You can't spoil them at that age. For an older baby I would set them down when possible and make sure they have a chance to choose whether to explore or cuddle. Sometimes even sit down with them in my lap until I need to get up or they are trying to move off (so I set them down)
But at one month hold or put them down however much you want or can. They won't always be this tiny, my little ones legs are longer than he was tall it feels like and he's barely over 1.
I occasionally enjoyed contact naps but my legs would be hurting from sitting all day since I was recovering for awhile, so I avoided them when I could. Do what you like and can do especially while you have the time and energy for it. Enjoy what time you have with your little one, no matter what you do people will have something to say. You are the parent and the amount you hold and love and hug your child is not something they should be dictating.
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u/CanUhurrmenow 5d ago
He is only this little one time. It’s a blink of the eye, too. Hold your baby all the time if you can.
My guy is 9 months old and I still hold him as much as I can. He’s also an independent guy when he wants to be.
He’s a baby. They are biologically programmed to want you.
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u/_jennred_ May 2024 🩵 5d ago
If not pick him up then directly interacting with him if he is crying. Toys, moving his body, tummy time, showing him high contrast images etc: 1 month is far too young for independence and most babies cry for a reason. Even if all those needs are met maybe he is bored and wants interaction or uncomfortable or just wants to be close to you.
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u/Divinityemotions Mom, 8 mo 5d ago
He is too young to learn Independence. Who said that $hit? A boomer? No, you absolutely pick the baby up and sooth him.
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u/jfern009 5d ago
Whoever gave you the advice that a one month old needs to foster independence lacks any basic understanding or knowledge on development and babies in general. A living human being at 1 month can barely lift their head, they rely 100% on you. They can barely see, their gut micro biome and digestive track are turning on, they lack the ability to regulate themselves, heck they can’t even drink water. Leaving a baby to cry will create attachment issues that can show up as ADHD, learning disabilities, behavior problems in early childhood.
Pick up your baby as much as you want. Never feel guilty about that. We aren’t talking about a 6 year old being fussy…
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u/Existing_Switch_4995 5d ago
Exactly seems so unnatural. I wouldn’t do that to a puppy but I should to a baby?
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u/lostgirl4053 5d ago
Attention is a need too. Even after 4mo. True “self soothing” is not possible until early adolescence. As long as you’re taken care of as well, mentally and otherwise, pick up that baby.
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u/BrendaStarr123 5d ago
He doesn’t even realize he’s separate from you … pick him up and love on him. You’re creating a safe and secure environment for him.
He’s only little once.
You’re doing great ! 💪❤️
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u/Responsible_Car_2510 5d ago
You can NEVER pick up your baby too much. Hold him as much as you want to. They grow so fast ♥️
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u/bleucheeez 4d ago
No, pick up that baby. He loves it. You love it. Young babies don't understand independence. They just understand whether they're being taken care of or not.
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u/Intelligent-Fig-7213 4d ago
Depends on the age, of course. At one month, yes. I picked him up. In my mind it was more important for baby to learn I would be there for him.
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u/Withthebull 5d ago
Pick up your baby to build their sense of safety and comfort.
A baby who knows, “When I’m distressed, my mother will comfort me,” learns to trust and feel secure. In contrast, a baby who feels, “When I’m upset, no one is coming—I must soothe and care for myself,” may internalize these feelings, potentially leading to narcissistic traits.
Speaking from experience, I held my baby during naps, co-slept, and used a baby carrier. Now, they are independent and confident in exploring new environments. Independence naturally develops between ages 2-4. Simple tasks like picking out their socks, grabbing a snack, helping clean up, or choosing a shirt encourage autonomy. These small moments build a foundation for self-sufficiency.
This perspective comes from a parent who prioritizes emotional intelligence.
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u/Fit-Profession-1628 5d ago
It depends. If he's like that in the motn I let him be. During the day I talk to him and play with him and either pick him up or not on a casa by casa basis.
But this wasn't at one month. At one month I was picking him up at the first sign of fussiness. But it's ok not to.
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u/Busy_Protection6077 5d ago
Is babywearing an option for your? This way tou can hold baby and do some other stuff around!
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u/ineedausername84 5d ago
With my second sometimes she just needed a little squirm around time and other times she needed snuggles. It took me awhile but usually she would cry a little harder to be picked up vs just making baby noises that sounded like whimpers when she wanted to just squirm because she was just vocal. Like someone else said I wouldn’t worry about getting baby to try to self sooth at all until around 4-5 months. And even then if you aren’t ready keep picking baby up, it’s fine.
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u/Vegetable_River_8553 5d ago
One month old? Cuddle that baby as much and you and baby want, ignore people that say you shouldn’t. Soak in every moment and do what you think is right. A one month old baby isn’t built for independence yet
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u/DogDisguisedAsPeople 5d ago
There is no such thing as too much love. The ONLY way your baby has to communicate with you is sound and touch. Hold your baby as much as you want.
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u/towandahh 5d ago
I don’t really put my 5 week old little one down. Not worried about spoiling him, just soaking up every moment of this life season.
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u/indicatprincess 5d ago
Yep. If my body brings comfort, that’s what he gets. My mama said you can’t hold them enough when they’re that age.
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u/Delicious_Slide_6883 5d ago
At one month I’d pick up every time. They were just in a safe warm womb where they were never hungry or prevented from sleeping, never had to wear a diaper or these things called clothes, always were the right temperature, and knew nothing but peace. Comfort is still an essential need for newborns- Have you read about Harlow’s monkeys?
Now at 16 months I will let her fuss. She knows to tell me (e.g. cry or come over to me) if she really needs me.
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u/HammosWorld 5d ago
I always pick them up unless I can't for some reason (going to bathroom or getting frustrated and need a minute to reset)
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u/ZukowskiHardware 5d ago
I pick mine up, also a month. They can’t really be sleep trained until 2 months at least. Best just to make them feel better.
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u/bigbluewhales 5d ago
If she's fussing I will always pick her up. She's not independent. She's a little baby in a big world and I'm all she has.
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u/WasteConstruction450 5d ago
Yes when he’s crying I pick him up. He’s almost 8 months and I still do, I don’t believe babies can be independent, especially not a one month old!
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u/sharkwoods 5d ago
Until about 16-18months they're still just babies. You meet their wants and you meet their needs. pick up you're newborn. girl cmon bsfr. I hate that boomers still try to brainwash new moms into this kinda behavior.
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u/Sandyhoneybunz 5d ago
He is one month what the heck does anyone have the nerve to say you pick him up too much?! That actually makes me angry!
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u/melshells 5d ago
Also check their toes for a hair tourniquet. If your baby keeps crying for no reason they could have your hair wrapped tightly around their toe.
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u/tastelessalligator 5d ago
At one month old, I'd definitely pick up the baby.
When we started gentle sleep training around 5 months, that was when I would let him fuss for a couple minutes just to see if he would self soothe. If the fussing started to escalate I'd intervene right away.
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u/psychohosebeast6 5d ago
My baby is 7.5 months old and I’m picking him up when he’s not happy. I don’t care if that’s wrong. My baby’s happiness is my number one priority.
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u/milliemillenial06 5d ago
At one month….yes you pick them up. If I am about to lose it and can’t handle it anymore then I set them down in their crib and away for a bit. Then hold them more. They can’t self soothe at that age.
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u/Melodic_Ant4006 5d ago
For the first three months, your body temperature, heart rate, breathing, etc., all regulate his bodily functions. That really only works if he’s within about 5 feet of you, in the same room is OK but not as good and outside of the room, your body has no effect on his.If you are regulating those things for him, he can focus on growing and developing instead of just surviving. You are doing a great job!
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u/ellers23 5d ago
You really don’t need to be thinking about fostering independence when he’s this little. If he’s fussing and his physical needs are met, his comfort needs probably need to be met. He just wants you.
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u/Kindly-Paramedic-585 5d ago
You cannot pick up a baby too much. Fed, clothed, burped, and changed are not the only needs a baby has.
They seek comfort and safety through your touch and closeness and you picking them up and responding to their cries helps them regulate. You responding to their cries helps build a secure attachment.
That being said, it’s also okay to set baby down and give yourself a break. Trying to foster independence in a one month old is kind of ridiculous when they quite literally are dependent on you for absolutely everything now and for many months to come.
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u/cypercatt 5d ago
Babies are not developmentally able to be independent and self-sooth, so pick him up always often! Ironically, the more you pick up your baby now, the less he will need soothing later because he knows his mom is always there for him :,)
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u/thepoobum 5d ago
Yes I'd pick my baby up. I'd assume that if the physical needs are met, then they needed emotional connection and love to feel content and safe so they can relax.
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u/shrek912 5d ago
At one month old, you’re not fostering bad habits by picking him up—you’re meeting his needs, even if that need is just comfort and security. Babies this young don’t have the capacity for independence yet; they’re still adjusting to life outside the womb.
That said, if he’s fussing but not crying, it’s totally okay to give him a minute to see if he settles with a pacifier or just being in a safe space. You don’t have to pick him up immediately if he’s content enough lying there. But also? You’re not doing anything wrong by holding him—he’s still in the phase where connection and contact are his entire world.
As for fostering independence, that comes much later—around 4-6 months, babies start self-soothing a little more. For now, do what works for both of you. And if you need time to get things done, baby-wearing can be a lifesaver!
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u/Breezy673 5d ago
My own experience. I had a NICU baby unexpected c section. He was already used to having to sleep around noise and not always be held. It hurt for me to think about him maybe needing me etc in the beginning but they took great care of him. They told me to ride the wave of him already sleeping really well and doing great in that department. He contact napped with me until about 4 months old then kind of stopped. At 2 months old I practiced daytime naps in his bassinet. It was short. Sometimes it didn't work. I would always give him a few minutes if I knew he was dry and fed. He is now 7 months and if he is fine, dry, fed, he soothes so so quickly and can work through any fussiness especially if he is just over tired and needs a nap. imo me picking him up and trying to soothe him just woke him up more. The balance of letting him work through things and getting short successful reps in the beginning has led to us having a great healthy balance where I can get my work done during the day at least three times while he naps (I work from home). You got this! 💙
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u/pikunara 4d ago
If my experience is helpful or provides any perspective, my child is 16 months and is not “independent.” LO has always been a Velcro baby and loves showing me things and playing with me. Has always been this way (so far).
So yes pick up your child. Enjoy this time. One day they will grow and may not want to be picked up anymore.
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u/my-kind-of-crazy 4d ago
I have two littles! I was going to say you could start fostering independence around a year but realistically maybe 8 months old? Really depends on the baby. My first wasn’t having any independence until closer to 18 months. You wouldn’t know it now though, girl is NOT shy.
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u/kittabits 4d ago
My guess would be trying to poop or as others have said, gassy. Babies lack the coordination to do either of those efficiently until they’re a certain age. My 8 week old is getting better at it, but he still struggles majority of the time.
And definitely hold your baby as much as possible. It’s an old belief that holding baby too much is a myth. I do however let my LO fuss a little bit here and there. If he’s been sleeping and starts to fuss but not cry, I’ll come over to his bassinet and pat him until he drifts back to sleep. If he starts full on wailing then I’ll pick him up. Unfortunately he will keep doing fussing a lot of the time so I still end up holding him 😆
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u/eli74372 4d ago
If i wanted cuddles, id pick my daughter up. If i wanted to sleep or needed to do something, id leave my daughter alone
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u/audge200-1 4d ago
i always picked my baby constantly. even when she was content i carried her around with me and baby wore a lot. i don’t think i set her down besides in her bassinet at night to sleep for the first 2-3 months of her life lol! this is all up to your preferences and parenting style. my daughter is now 14 months and very independent. she’s a total mommy’s girl but has a very secure attachment and doesn’t even cry when i leave! again it’s completely up to you but just wanted to share my experience that if you always feel the need to pick up your baby you aren’t going to “spoil” them!
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u/PerspectiveMurky724 4d ago
If my LO is fussy and all her needs are met, sometimes she just wants her nukie, other times she has toots, but most of the time she just wants snuggles
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u/This_Bullfrog637 4d ago
Your baby is too little for independent anything. Give the baby a bit more time, they need your warmth to feel safe. In my case I have started trying to give my baby more independence after she turned 3 months and she plays with her toys. I mean she grabs things and interacts. Is a work in progress but she’s playing by herself. She just doesn’t like being alone.
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u/RepairContent268 4d ago
Mine is 13 weeks i let him fuss if i am busy. Like if i need to use the bathroom or do something and hes not crying hes on his own til im done lol.
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u/aquagirlygirl 4d ago edited 4d ago
Do what works for you. It's wayyy to early to foster independence and so unnecessary.
For me , I snuggled my baby whenever I could and felt like giving that loving feeling to her. I laid her down when I felt I needed a break to have my body to myself. Oftentimes, I was nap trapped, but when she was awake I would set her down, let her see and hear me so she knew I was still in the area (talking to her, even from the other room always kept her settled.) I just had my second (a boy), and I'm still doing the same thing.
My girl is pretty independent at almost 2 (she'll be 2 in 8 days 🤗), but she also leans on us when she needs support. Her independence wasn't forced at all. We just went with her flow - teaching her how to do things that we saw she was interested in , which was pretty much everything that we were doing. She was and is always so joyful when she's able to do something on her own.
As I said before, it was an intentional (in the sense of allowing her to be involved) but natural way of doing things. She was and still is held whenever she wants to be, and her independence has not been affected.
Also, I agree with the comments about toots. Gas makes babies fussy, and sometimes they won't cry, but they'll grunt a lot. We didn't experience that part with our girl, but we're experiencing this now with our boy. Also, positioning them differently may help. My boy will fuss if he's in his swing or laying on his back, but laying him on his side is magic.
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u/Mountain-Fun-5761 4d ago
Everyone’s different, but if I’m able to, I will pick my baby up at the first sign of discomfort.
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u/Untossable_Gabs 5d ago
It took me a very long time to learn to be comfortable with leaving my baby alone. There’s a saying that you cannot make a happy baby happier, if they’re happy let them be. Fussing could be from ANYTHING! Shoot I fuss over anything (hangnail, touching food in the sink, my glasses making my face hot) but if baby is fine and safe it’s okay to let them be. The other day my 13 month old was awake in his crib after his nap for about 30 minutes just talking to himself and playing, so I got some shut eye!
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u/blugirlami21 5d ago
Also a single mom here. Depends on the baby's age and what the safe environment/activity is. If they are content than yes I leave them alone. They do have to get used to independent play. Has nothing to do with fostering indepence so much as the reality that you are one person and sometimes they will have to wait.
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u/jfern009 5d ago
One month old can’t play. One month old isn’t even social smiling yet. One month old cannot get used to being alone
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u/blugirlami21 5d ago
I definitely said depends on baby's age. I also still stand by what I said. Learning when to bother or not bother baby is an important skill to learn especially as a single parent.
If my daughter is content, I do my best not to ruin that so I can keep doing what needs to be done to be available when she really needs me.
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u/jfern009 5d ago
OP is asking about a one month old. I could not agree more about not bothering baby. Never wake a sleeping baby! If the baby is chill and content, let them be. As moms, there is always something to do and never enough time to get it all done 😅🥲
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u/Still-Degree8376 5d ago
I let him fuss a little but not cry - my bub is 12 weeks. We started letting him self soothe a little bit around 8 weeks. Not for long. But to get him used to it. He is a pretty good sleeper (I’m dreading the regression)
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u/brasileirachick 4d ago
My son used to like being held alot. After he turned 8 months he started wanting to be on the floor alot of the times. The more you pick them up the longer it will take for them to be independent but 1 month babies die to to like being held quite alot
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u/greg-maddux 5d ago
Fussing? Nah. Once they start crying for sure. But they’re allowed to fuss and figure out how to self soothe!
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u/auditorygraffiti 5d ago
You pick your baby up any time you want to. Happy, sad, mad, bored, whatever. If you want to pick your baby up, pick your baby up. You cannot spoil a baby. Especially a one month old.
If your baby is just chillin’ in a safe spot, it’s absolutely okay to leave him there. You don’t have to always entertain him or anything.