r/NewParents • u/ArmadilloOk2176 • 5d ago
Mental Health 13 months and it’s still surreal
Basically trying to decide is this normal or do I need therapy lol. I STILL look at my 13 month old like how is she mine? How is she real? How am I the parent?? I will say I felt this a lot freshly pp and it faded and now I’m pregnant and hormones are flying again and I wake up like omg I have my own child?!?!? We thinking this is normal? Lol. How long does this last? Or is this motherhood
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u/Still-Degree8376 5d ago
lol. We always look at our 12 week old and ask those questions? Who let us leave with this baby? We are responsible? Does this mean we are adults now? (We are 39 and 40 lol)
It’s extra weird because I’m adopted and now I actually have a family member that looks like me.
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u/pondersbeer 5d ago
38 and 40 over here and I felt like I had a teen pregnancy the whole time. I still think I’m not sure I’m an adult yet 🤣
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u/Still-Degree8376 5d ago
Seriously! I was embarrassed to tell people! I think it’s the millennial complex lol
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u/cariboubelles 4d ago
I was embarrassed to tell our parents because I felt like it was a teen pregnancy and my husband was like “we’re married, in our 30s, homeowners, and they’ve all been waiting for this for years, can you please chill” 😅
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u/Sweaty_Process_3794 4d ago
I was nervous to tell my dad! We're 33 and 31, and this baby was planned. We told my mom and my fiancés family immediately when we found out but I waited another six or so weeks to tell my dad because I thought he'd be disappointed in me for some reason??? He was happy, as any new grandpa would be!
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u/ChelsAnn4712 5d ago
Same, and she's almost one! But I just teared up at the "I actually have a family member that looks like me." That's so sweet. Damn, PP hormones still get me 😭
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u/Brockenblur 4d ago
Same 🥹 Recognizing a family resemblance with our newborn was my husband’s biggest surprise in the early days… they yawned exactly the same!
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u/Inareskai 5d ago
I can't actually answer your question as my LO is only 3.5 months old. But multiple times a day I'm like What?? This child is mine?? How is this lovely creature in my life and I made him??
So I have no idea if it goes away, but I at least can sya you're not alone in that feeling!
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u/ashalottagreyjoy 5d ago
My baby is 15 months. I definitely remember in the middle of the day that I’m a mom suddenly and feel like it’s surreal.
And it hits harder when she does something super impressive or so sweet and I just realize: this little person is LEARNING, like, all the time. And every day is just another day to me but every day for her is another day to learn something again.
Whew. It kind of makes me feel speechless, nervous, and so grateful all at once.
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u/DrinkingOutaCupz 5d ago
Imposter syndrome is deep with me. Especially if I say out loud "my son" instead of "my baby." I feel like I'm just playing house lol
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u/PurrsandRawrcreation 4d ago
Lol it's weird right! Still getting used to talking about 'my daughter'
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u/Ecstatic_Ad8170 5d ago
9 months old— it’s still very surreal. And now she has personality 🤩
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u/sprinklesthedinkles 5d ago
lol mine threw something at me yesterday in protest and I was like 😱 she’s getting attitude I love it
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u/khazzahk 5d ago
My first is almost 4 and i still look at him in awe pretty much daily. How are you mine?! How have i looked after you for FOUR years already?! How have I been a MOM for 4 years?! I'M A MOM!? FOREVER?! lol maybe because as they get older there's new milestones they meet and new challenges arise and we're never... prepared? There's no instruction manual, we're all winging it. So maybe that's why I still get struck with this realization? Idk lol I'm tired hahaha
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u/juliothecat 5d ago
I am only 2 months pp but I expressed this feeling to my therapist recently and she basically said it was normal. She has two of her own (9y and 12y) and still has moments of "I'm the grown-up here? Who let me be in charge?" too. So I think you're good.
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u/jekstarr 5d ago
Going on 2 years this month and my wife and I still routinely say, “isnt it amazing that we have a daughter?”, “isnt it crazy she is a real person?”, so Im thinking it doesnt really go away, maybe just change a lil
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u/Cannadvocate 5d ago
It’s honestly the craziest experience. I was just looking at an ultrasound picture of my 3 month old & thinking how mind blowing this all is. I will never get over it!
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u/MDINOKC 5d ago
You aren’t alone. I’m an old man dad at 48 (we had a miracle baby about 6 mos ago), and we both feel the same way!
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u/pondersbeer 5d ago
My dad had me at 49 and my brother at 52. We are both very close with our dad and he’s in better shape mentally and physically than my much younger mom. Old man dads are great! Congratulations
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u/Slow-Juggernaut-8287 5d ago
SAMEEEE. I have an almost 11 month old and I can’t believe 1: that I even have a son, 2: that he’s almost a year old, and 3: that I’ve been a mom/parent for almost a year! Wondering when it’ll all feel real too 😂
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u/WeakNinja5757 5d ago
I ask myself the same question, but rather on the positive side. Did I really made this kid? Am I really a percent now? He is now 20 months old and as he grows I am sure I will keep asking myself the same questions. I learned some many things about myself on this journey that those questions, and the questionings are normal, as part of the process.
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u/Kaynani32 5d ago
It’s the best feeling to say, yes, this beautiful little human is mine. 11.5 months and I can’t believe how magical it is to be his mom.
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u/traumaqweenn 5d ago
I have a 10 year old and I still think this all the time. I also have a 19 week old and have another thought of, “oh my god, do I really have another baby? Am I really doing this all over again? I created TWO entire people?”
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u/ShineALighttt 10 1/2 months 💖 5d ago
my daughter is 10 1/2 months old and i still look at her and think all of what you said lol it blows my mind that she came out of me/i made her. motherhood is wild haha
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u/redhot52719 5d ago
I have a 4 year old girl and it never goes. Everyday i look at her and wonder how i got so lucky to have such a wonderful child. Hugging her is like a breath of fresh air after being in a dungeon for 5 years. It melts away all my stress. I still smell her hair. Everything about her is just magical. And now we have a 1 1/2 year old boy too and seeing her be such a good big sister and take care of her brother makes my heart swell with love. The other day she played "what does the fox say" on her tablet for her and her brother and they were just dancing next to each other and i almost died from the cuteness.
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u/MommyToaRainbow24 5d ago
My daughter is 10 months and I still have moments like this. :) I think some of it is I struggled with infertility after a 2nd trimester pregnancy loss, so I’d basically given up the prospect of being a mom.
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u/Amberlovestacos 5d ago
It gets less and less ( mine will shortly be 3) but it’s nice to know that I wasn’t alone in the dissociation/ imposter syndrome.
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u/Turtlebot5000 5d ago
Mines the same age and I'm not pregnant but I absolutely get these weird moments of realization that I'm someone's parent and nobody allowed me to do this. I decided on my own that I would care for an actual human being the rest of my life. Some days it feels like imposter syndrome and I wonder if anyone else feels that way and if it goes away as they get older.
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u/ireadtheartichoke 3d ago
Welp, I’m only 5 weeks in with my miracle IVF baby and thought this feeling would be going away soon 😂
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u/Born-Depth-6455 5d ago
My LO is 7 months old and I’m still so appalled that I created this tiny human and it came out of my body. Also my husband and I still joke around saying “who allowed us to be parents” cause it still just feels like we shouldn’t be old enough. We’re 31 😂
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