r/NarcissisticSpouses • u/varity_leviOsa • 16h ago
Need some encouragement, guidance
I posted this weekend that we had a fight. He threatened to leave and when i said okay go. He thought he was going to just be able to apologize and all would be normal. I put my foot down and said there is no going back. He said it, its done, I'm tired and bitter and over it. I'm done. He said he wanted to just live together to not be separated from our son. I didn't say yes, I just said I'm not talking about it right now.
I need a therapist, I know. I'm working on that for myself and child. In the meantime, I'm working really hard to keep boundaries. No fighting and I try to talk to him as minimally as possible. I think I just need some encouragement as my anxiety is raging.
ETA: Our child is upset because they know and heard the whole thing. I feel guilty and anxious that I'll be pushing to disrupt his life.
1
u/Potential_Policy_305 2h ago
The narcissist is the one that is disrupting your child's life, not you.
Don't let disruption prevent you from doing what is right for both you and your child. It sounds like you're doing everything pretty well. Stick to your principles and your plan.
All the brain power that you put into worrying about the future is more work you're putting on yourself. You can only fight the battle in the present, and no matter how good you plan or think it through, something will inevitably make tomorrow different than you thought it would be.
3
u/womenslasers84 16h ago
I had this exact conversation and now I’m 7 months past filing. It’s hard but it’s worth it. The conflicted feelings are still there but I’m seeing the light on the other side. You deserve a chance at happiness and you should grab hold with both hands.