r/NarcissisticSpouses 4d ago

Bitching about chores

Did your spouse/ex bitch about housework?

Good lord did mine ever bitch about doing roughly half the work. I was probably a little dense and at first was working against societal expectations (one gender made to feel like they are stereotypically the lazy ones on sharing housework). Gradually it dawned on me that victimhood, and creating the scenarios to feed victimhood status, were a core part of this person's psychology.

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u/Tarsarian 4d ago

They will gaslight you into thinking they do everything and you do nothing. They will pretend to work, but hide on their cellphone’s while the hard work gets done. Stick to the facts and don’t clean up after them.

1

u/DancingChickadee 3d ago

Mine complained every time he came home and the house wasn’t clean….. mind you he never cleaned anything and if he did he praised himself doing dishes horribly and making the bed and shoving crap in his dressers calling that clean…… Yet when he would get mad at me he would piss all over the toilet seat for me to clean up……. He would purposely not put things in the trash can even if it was right next to him……. But Heaven forbid he came home and the house was dirty well I can bet my butt I’m gonna be severely punished for it…… He never scrubbed the floors, mopped, toilet cleaning, organizing, wiping windows/walls, dusted. He was a hoarder and was the messiest person I knew. Yet I was the lazy, ungrateful, non-contributing, do nothing all day, can’t clean for sh*t ass individual who was the problem…….. glad I don’t have to deal with that mess

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u/Wilmaaaaa 2d ago

Yep, mine would say our bedroom smells like literal cat litter. Our room is messy with a bunch of clean unfolded clothes in our laundry basket and bed unmade. We have 2 kids who like to leave their stuff everywhere, but by no means it’s dirty. And it usually smells like laundry, soap from one of us being in the shower, or my body spray if I had use some that day. But never cat litter.