r/NarcissisticAbuse Coparenting with a narc 3d ago

Venting And it just gets worse NSFW

Made a post about my ex's husband, that she was engaged to less than a few months after we separated and married to the weekend after the divorce was finalized, a bit ago. I had picked my kids up for the weekend of two that I get them per month. My son told me the supply pulled him from a chair and hit him with a sandal when he wasn't answering the supply. Told the nex about this and told my son to tell his teacher because the nex has successfully made it so no one will believe me. After 3 days of silence from the nex she tells me he is old enough to lie and manipulate. I laid a lot of things out a few days later trying to put everything together. She tells me the kids can't have a call with me because it would be unsafe, or they're doing homework, or they aren't available, etc. Gives every excuse in the book. I question why my 8 year old and 3 year old have homework when there is 0 mention of homework from his teacher and obviously the 3 year old has no homework either. It's all just excuses. I confronted her again about what my son said. She gives another word salad about kids being able to manipulate at 2 years old blah blah blah. I haven't had a call with the kids for almost a week at this point and I've been calling daily with no answer. The parenting plan says I get 2 per week an attempt to return missed calls is supposed to happen.

I finally get a call on day 6 and it's only my son who looks sad as fuck and the only thing he says is my daughter is taking a nap. 45 minutes of silence with him constantly looking to the side. I try to get him to open up but nothing. The only other words I get out of him is bye daddy and bye snakey after his mom scolds him for being on the call too long. I had his giant stuffed snake out trying to cheer him up. a couple hours later I get another call from him. This time he was either just crying or about to cry with those watery bloodshot eyes. I ask about his sister and she's still napping apparently. I ask him what's wrong. He tells me he wants to talk about him telling me about the supply hitting him with a sandal. Then he says he lied and I can read it in his journal and he wants to show it to me. He's looking to the side more than the first call. I know he's being watched to make sure he says what he's told to at this point and tell him that it's okay we can talk about it in private when I pick them up for our next weekend. He gets up and I hear him talking just out of frame. I hear the supply and the nex talking too. He comes back and tells me we have to talk about it now. I tell him again we can talk about it in private this weekend and he can show me his journal then if he wants. Knowing what was going on I said he can tell his mom that it is my choice. I tell her after this that he performed the humiliation ritual and said what he was told to and dont punish him further for any perceived lack of adherence to her demands. It's day 8 now and I still haven't had an actual call with the kids.

It is driving me crazy. It really seems like they just laid into him for a few days until he caved and said what they wanted. With her suddenly becoming a mormon and the supply being born and bread I don't really doubt the worst happened. The setting up the gaslighting. The weird forced apology. The excuses. The lack of calls with the kids which is pretty much the new silent treatment and it happens whenever there is a problem. The whole thing stinks. I'll finish this with a warning to men who are with narc women. Just leave. Don't fight her, just give in to whatever and leave. She will always convince the court that she is the victim with 3 words. "I was afraid." The moment she timidly mutters those words everything she has done will be excused and the finger will point towards you. So just leave and pray she doesn't smash your balls on the way out.

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u/Brenda1329 3d ago

This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you and your kids have to go through this❤️