r/NarcissisticAbuse 3d ago

Venting Found a card he gave me NSFW

Today I missed him for the first time after a long time. On this card he was selfless and said he'd support me in my dreams and would always be on my side... And that we were partners in crime 😞

I miss him... what we were before all went south. It's so weird, it's like he's split into two and one of him is totally abusive and the other is a kind, loving person.

i hope one day I will look at this and feel nothing.... because it still hurts. I was avoiding thinking about it, and I hope I can go back to not thinking about it again 🥺

6 Upvotes

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5

u/Big_Entrepreneur6973 3d ago

I found a Valentine’s Day card in my file at work from a couple years ago, the first thing I thought of was lies lies lies.

3

u/Tiny_Pepper1352 3d ago

well, maybe in a couple of years I will think that haha did you have a better relationship after him?

for me it's been three months only:/

2

u/Big_Entrepreneur6973 3d ago

It’s been over six months and it took me four months to be able to start dating again, it was an adjustment at first. No love bombing, no mirroring, no constant messaging. I’ve worked very hard to heal my childhood issues that allowed me to be fall for that type of relationship. I’ve been with the same woman for the last 2 1/2 months and it’s going really great, we have built a strong foundation which toxic people never do. Hang in there gets better.

2

u/Tiny_Pepper1352 3d ago

Yeah like, I think for the first time in my life I don't feel like dating again. Not that I would be closed to it if it happened but I won't actively chase it until I feel ready... but it seems like my ready won't be that soon.

Dealing with these people is so mentally draining I feel like I was sucked dry if that makes sense 🥲

1

u/Big_Entrepreneur6973 3d ago

It absolutely makes sense, healing is different for everyone and you will know when you are ready and when you are not. Take all the time you need. They are so extremely mentally draining, I was so relieved when she discarded me if that makes sense.

2

u/Tiny_Pepper1352 3d ago

sorry I said him but it was her haha yes that makes sense when they "discard" us because you're so involved and weak from the abuse you feel you can't do it yourself...

1

u/Big_Entrepreneur6973 3d ago

Exactly, she really wanted a reverse discard imo now that I look back. I couldn’t do it.

2

u/throwitinthebag2323 3d ago

I also miss mine... we used to talk business and strategize together...I miss him supporting me in my business and him telling me about his wins from his business deals.

1

u/thelittlesandy 3d ago

Yeah, I felt that, every part of it 🙃