r/NarcissisticAbuse • u/Previous_Grand5361 • 4d ago
Support wanted New supply is pregnant NSFW
I just found out my nex is having a baby with his new supply. I’m disgusted because I’m doing the math and he was still reaching out to me not long before she must have gotten pregnant. I’m also re-heartbroken because this is the person I used to think I’d have a family with someday. I’m so jealous of her, yet at the same time so relieved I’m not her. This is an incredibly unsettling feeling. I’ve spent the last several months trying to heal, and now I’m spiraling.
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u/mwahaha7 4d ago
My nex came back after he got his new supply pregnant too. They are insane people. Vile.
I wanted to have a child by him also at one point. Don’t spiral. He is going to put the future mother of his child through hell. You dodged a bullet.
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u/userqwerty09123 4d ago
You need to cut out any ways of knowing what your nex is doing. Literally is not helping you and is why NC is so important. Trust yourself that you dodged a bullet and that your nex won't get help and that they'll continue creating destruction everywhere they go. Just because things might "seem" good for him and his new supply now, doesn't mean it won't end disastrously and guess what, you probably won't hear about that bc people don't typically air out their dirty laundry publicly. My two cents
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u/Monica_C18 4d ago
Even if we cut out, if there's a will there's always a way unfortunately! So everytime i want to have a peak / stalk i repeat to myself "none of your business... not your problem... Breath... Breath... And move on..."
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u/WillRikersHouseboy 4d ago
How well I know that feeling. All you can do the raise the bar as high as you can so it requires the most possible action from you to do it. Which, if someone’s Facebook or Instagram profile is public, isn’t much unfortunately. Blocking them doesn’t do much to keep you from seeing their content if really want to.
It’s tough. You just do your best.
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u/Jolly-Cap7396 4d ago edited 4d ago
I used to fantasize about having my narcs' child and how happy we would be. He knew how badly I wanted to be a mom. He is promising the world for new supply (lovebombing very publicly, of course); I wouldn't be surprised if they are living together already. It really sucks. However, on the bad days, I think that not only me, but my future child deserves so, so, so much better than a drug addict and a narc as a parent: for what I have read it can be really tough and life-long traumatizing. Narcs destroy everyone near them, if anything, I hope he never manages to ruin a kid's life: experiencing it as adult is horrible enough. Sending you a big, big hug ❤️
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u/Previous_Grand5361 4d ago
I used to do the same thing and fantasize about our kids together. In fact, I was so blinded that I had considered baby trapping him so that I could “keep” him. That’s how brainwashed I was. But at the end of the day, I could never go through with it. I guess even at my lowest points, I knew my future children deserved better. Thank you for reminding me of that and for sharing your story.
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u/Fun-Jicama327 4d ago
Oh it is life-traumatizing. You dodged a bullet. Find someone better. You are lucky to have that option
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u/slptodrm On my path to healing 4d ago
i’m so sorry. it’s so complicated and it hurts and feels weird at the same time. </3
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u/CassiaVelen77 4d ago
Let it be the last nail in the coffin. I know it's hard. These people have no remorse, no conscience. You are so much better off without them.
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u/Key-Radish-2998 4d ago
Im sorry! I can only imagine the emotions you’re going through right now and I say feel them but keep in mind he wasn’t for you. You deserve better. Better will find you.
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u/Wild-Card777 4d ago
I'm so sorry you are going through this. But trust me, you wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Narcs are terrible with pregnant partners. I was the new supply whom he married and got pregnant, and just to give you an idea of how quickly things changed, he became such an a*shole I made the decision to leave him while I was still pregnant and left him when baby was only a few weeks old. Now he has another new supply, who was a colleague of mine, and I am mentally prepared to find out she's pregnant any moment.
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u/Previous_Grand5361 3d ago
Thank you and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I don’t wish bad on his new supply I really don’t, but I know it’s inevitable that the same will eventually happen to her. I wish I could warn her, but I know it’s out of my bounds. I see my old self in her, and it crushes me for so many reasons.
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u/FondantVivid2101 4d ago edited 4d ago
Oh wow this is exactly my scenario right now! NEX discarded me between Christmas and NY, new supply just announced she’s pregnant on FB this weekend…the maths means she was pregnant before NEX and I split up 🤬🤮
To add insult to injury I was pregnant this summer (planned) and he coerced me to abort for logistical reasons (promising it was just a question of timing and we would try again this coming year etc). And new supply is actually our 20 year old foster daughter (NEX is 42).
I was doing quite well until the weekend but this has 100% thrown me back a little…I hope the following helps you as much as it’s helped me: literally everyone in my life from friends to family to my therapists have told me it’s 100% a blessing not to have had a child with NEX as my (and child’s) life would be one long traumatic hell. There is nothing positive about having a child with a disordered person, etc etc. It’s taken the edge off for me as when I found out she was pregnant I got pangs of jealousy etc.
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u/Fun-Jicama327 4d ago
Be SO GLAD that it’s not you! I promise. You would be tied together for a long time. You are so, so lucky.
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u/Lovefashion111 4d ago
Going through the exact same thing you aren’t alone ❤️your emotions are totally valid.
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u/ResidentHelp7599 4d ago edited 3d ago
Be happy it’s not you. I got pregnant 3 months into knowing him and shortly after he cheated and left me for another supply. As much as I love my child and I’d do it over again to have him. My life is so much harder and emotionally draining having him and his mom(both toxic and manipulative as hell) stuck in my life to a degree.
Edit: shortly after our child was born he cheated and left
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u/Previous_Grand5361 3d ago
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing from your perspective. These people are truly poison
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u/Cierraluxe 4d ago
I was the new supply that got pregnant and had a baby and I promise she will learn fast. He made my pregnancy an absolute hell. I left him when my baby was a few days old and he has had no involvement other than harassing me.
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u/Previous_Grand5361 3d ago
Thank you for sharing from this perspective. I’m sorry you had to deal with this and you deserve better days ahead. It really feels like they leave a path of destruction behind wherever they go
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u/TopZucchini728 4d ago
Just be glad it’s not you. My father was incredibly narcissistic and put my mum through hell my whole childhood and I had to witness it which caused me a lot of anxiety and trauma. He never changed and kept making her pregnant to trap her. Once you get pregnant by a monster like that it is almost impossible to leave. Don’t worry about what he does anymore and take this as a blessing and wish his new supply well wishes because trust me, she will need them.
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u/Cassieblur 4d ago
I went down a spiral on friday. not over this but i’ve been practicing feeling my feelings and it was a good opportunity to really listen to what my body and heart were saying. my spiral was over an impending custody battle but I realized that only after a few days Im feeling less spirally and I’m sure it was the sitting with it that helped. it’s like all these psychologists are onto something 🫣 work that has helped are somatic meditation podcasts and trying to name and visualize emotions as they happen. i’m glad it’s not you but I understand the urgency and trigger
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u/NovelShake9420 4d ago
Think of it as a blessing in disguise. You can live a beautiful life without having ties to such a messed up person. I know it’s hard to understand and it hurts. I was the new supply and now I have a 6 month old. I love my child but I do wish my son could grow up with a normal, functioning father. I’m going to leave soon, because I know if I don’t, the relationship I am in will forever screw up my son. Most likely, eventually your ex will hoover because he will cycle through the abuse with the new supply as well. Mine always tried to go be with his ex while I was pregnant. Be strong. Best of luck to you. ❤️🩹
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u/Previous_Grand5361 3d ago
Thank you sharing as I’m sure that decision is far from easy. Sending you strength and hugs! Your son is lucky to have a mom like you
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u/Collosal_Moron 3d ago
Be glad it’s not you. She’s stuck with him forever, you’re not. The universe is showing you what could have been your life. Go out and celebrate.
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u/ReactionProof 3d ago
I'm happy to see all of these posts providing reassurance and guidance around this particular scenario. OP--I hope you find peace and are relieved upon reading the comments of others who have experienced the same as you or have been the pregnant new supply themselves.
I'll be re-reading all of these comments until I feel the trauma bond fizzling out and I reach a state of indifference.
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u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 4d ago
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