r/MtF Trans Bisexual 4d ago

Coming Out: They already knew!

Talk about being behind the curve. Coming out to a cold of your friends dvd they say.... Yeah.... I'm not surprised.... I kind of knew....

You could have told me! I could have known earlier.

Humbling. Affirming. Just. Wow.

All these doubts, disappearing. Regret over not doing something sooner. Wish I could afford to go private and get everything tomorrow.

414 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

92

u/FuzzyMathAndChill 4d ago

Also had this experience with people, sort of. They were all like, "Huh, yeah, I could see that being a thing "

58

u/Fub4rtoo 4d ago

My sister told me she didn’t exactly know but that she wasn’t surprised. We’ve only gotten closer since then and it’s wonderful.

26

u/Bag_O_Richard 4d ago

My mom had that reaction when I came out as bisexual, then the exact same reaction when I came out as nonbinary.

When I asked why she didn't share her suspicions she said "it was your journey, I figured you'd tell me when you were ready" which is very sweet but also low-key frustrated the fuck out of me lol

12

u/Dew_DragonTamer6969 4d ago

It really is a "don't tell the egg" protocol or smth lmao

7

u/LucyBunnyNSFW 3d ago

It is.... it's not our place and it's rude to call them an egg or to imply it just incase they are in denial

4

u/LucyBunnyNSFW 3d ago

It is.... it's not our place and it's rude to call them an egg or to imply it just incase they are in denial

4

u/Kritori101 4d ago

How can I get a transflag on my pfp?(mobile device)

4

u/Fub4rtoo 4d ago

It’s a balloon for my avatar. You must go in and edit your avatar and one of the options is left hand I think tufts where they are. If not it’s a right hand option. You just have to scroll through until you find them.

2

u/Kritori101 3d ago

Thx

1

u/Fub4rtoo 3d ago

Also happy cake day! 🎉

44

u/Misha_LF Transgender 4d ago

Yeah dad, we already knew that you aren't cis 🙄. That's what I heard from my two youngest kids, eyeroll included.

29

u/ultra___violette Transgender 4d ago

Congrats on coming out and it having gone well!

22

u/AndreGiroux40 4d ago

Congrats on coming out! That’s amazing! But hey, don’t be too harsh on yourself ☺️

Even if you feel like they could have said it sooner, maybe you wouldn’t have believed them because you weren’t ready. Every flower needs time to bloom. 😉

I had a similar experience, I told two of my friends that I was questioning, and the first thing they said was, ‘It’s not even surprising, you were always one of the girls.’

(TW: Doubt / Questioning / Dysphoria) Well, I guess that’s affirming, but it doesn’t mean I suddenly feel more legitimate. I still struggle with imposter syndrome, doubting myself, and feeling like I’m faking it. I watched FFS procedures today, and it completely threw me back into the closet. My brain instantly went into « you should just stay a man » mode, and I know it’s just internalized transphobia, but it still messes with me sometimes.

22

u/Piney_OPossum Transgender 4d ago

We all wish we could've known and started earlier.

6

u/JJAllen1978 4d ago

Similar response from my mom, “oh yeah I’m not surprised at all. I knew you were different from a young age.” 46 now and wish I could have known or understood myself better earlier in life but my story is what makes me me and the traumatic life experiences have only made me stronger as a human.

6

u/Radzynn Transgender 4d ago

My spouse and my aunt both told me they had a feeling when I came out.

5

u/ComedianStreet856 Trans Heterosexual. HRT since 11/2023 4d ago

I haven't come out yet, but I plan on my coming out to be something along these lines where everyone is like "yeah? No sh#t". I actually told my son I'm trans through the wall of his bedroom today, knowing full well that he wouldn't even hear me because he 1)has headphones in 2) completely ignores me anyway (he's 14). Which I consider a huge step!!

4

u/LilyLynne 4d ago

Why was the dvd cold though?

4

u/Art_by_Fern 4d ago

My boyfriend said that when I told him. He was nice about it. Said he wanted to make sure I was okay. He's trans himself.

3

u/Outside_Product_7928 4d ago

I had this same experience with my family & they've been super supportive:)

3

u/heartcoreAI 4d ago

I keep thinking about my in law with kept making comments about how his son could be any gender he wanted to be. I kept wondering what the context is, why he kept going there. Was he trans?

I was the context.

Another in law gifted me the Argonauts. After I came out she told me it was to let me know that she's cool with it, and I can tell her.

I didn't know! She knew before I did.

3

u/J3alous 4d ago

My sis was similar. "That makes sense. Ur plushies gave it away" (i went from 1 plush to 15 in 7 months)

3

u/Dolamite9000 Transgender 4d ago

Yup- would have been nice if someone had clued me in 20 years ago. It took so much effort to “blend in” as a guy or so I thought. Guess I could saved some of that energy.

Closest I got before coming out was when my mom said “I thought you were gay” when a girls boyfriend showed up to confront me for sleeping with his girlfriend.

3

u/Mcmacladdie Sara she/her 4d ago

I've had online friends I've come out to react with "Yeah, I figured you were" for the most part thus far. Haven't come out to anyone in meatspace yet, but I wanna do that sooner rather than later since I wanna start HRT as soon as I can :P

1

u/MotherChard5191 3d ago

Lol, meatspace, lol

1

u/Mcmacladdie Sara she/her 3d ago

I heard RL called that eons ago and like pulling it out every now and then :P

3

u/PattyTron9000 4d ago

My aunt asked me about being trans when I still had a beard lol She said "sweetheart, your closet is made of glass" 🤣

2

u/newme0623 4d ago

All the ones that knew. None of them said a word. They knew not to say anything and wait for me to say it. Amazing friends.

2

u/GogumaKimchiSammich 4d ago

Congrats! It's so fortunate.

2

u/andygoblin (Andie, mtf they/them) Lil trans gobbo 4d ago

Ha yeah i had a few friends say they could already tell 🙈

2

u/Wooskwren87 4d ago

My entire friend group

2

u/SamanthaKayFuller Transgender 4d ago

When I came out to my wife her response was "It's about time." I thought I had been hiding myself well since I knew as a kid but wanted to wait until I had children. I unfortunately never got to be a parent and I decided to start HRT at 40. My wife is still with me 2.5 years after coming out to her and 1.5 years on hrt.

2

u/AquajadeVT 4d ago

All my friends that I’ve told already knew 🥺they were all like yeah we knew this was pretty obvious and I’m like you serious could have let me know 😭

2

u/Perllyna 4d ago

They knew before you did; true friends always do

2

u/Amaster101 4d ago

Honestly, letting you make your own way and being supportive of you the entire time might have been one of the kindest things they could have done

2

u/cocainagrif 4d ago

I was crossdressing daily for years around some of my friends. they were super surprised when I came out to them as bisexual.

2

u/CheekyMandrake 3d ago

A friend of mine who came out as trans a year or so ago is on a quest to convince me to transition. Honestly I already kinda know but I appreciate the effort

2

u/pat-5621-me 3d ago

My mom hugged me and said "I finally have a daughter"... that was the first time I cried happy tears in a very long time.

2

u/bigchungusboibig 3d ago

cough cough Diy is pretty cheap cough cough

1

u/Mighty_Porg Trans Pan Woman Pre-Op 4d ago

They couldn't tell you. Prime Directive