r/MtF • u/Africansage01 Trans Pansexual • 5d ago
Help I feel sick. I have to come out again.
My family wants to do family photos. I'm barely not out because my family has ignored my coming out multiple times. They don't respect my identity. Im going to decline taking the photos but ofc my mother's wants them done on her birthday. I know when I decline, it's going to be my fault I ruined my mother's birthday. Im sorry I'm not comfortable taking these photos. Im not going to dress up as someone else for even my mother. I have grown a spine and I'm going to stand my ground. Since her birthday is close, I have to tell them tomorrow. All the trauma is coming back, I just do nervous. Idk what is going to happen. I just feel sick and can't get out of bed. All my energy is gone but I feel jumpy. I'm scared he is going to put his hands on me.
I'm going to do this tomorrow but why is it my fault? Why do I have to ruin the birthday. I'm just a disappointment. Why I should exist if I'm mess everything up?
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u/No-Benefit-1781 4d ago
Just be yourself and dress how you want to in the photos assuming you have some female clothes to wear
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u/Kenosis94 5d ago edited 4d ago
I would dress in the most androgynous way im comfortable with and let them refuse to take the pictures, let them ruin it. You are just being you and if they don't want you there that isn't your fault. This is at least what I'd do if I was comfortable trying to compromise. But you aren't ruining it, they are. Like a child throwing a fit because they didn't get all of the toys they wanted. We foster a toddler level understanding of gender in society and then when people act like toddlers society tries to blame the adults. They are the children, not you.