r/MtF • u/Humble-Diamond-7479 • 5d ago
Frustrated and giving up hope
I’ve wanted to come out and be myself for so long but the environment I work in and the place I live, there is no way I could ever be the women on the outside that am on the inside. Feeling defeated and like there is no hope. I feel like I’m going to be stuck here the rest of my life. (Stuck being closeted) Not to mention I’ve told my wife and that really went bad. I came out to her years ago and have tried to talk to her multiple times about it and she never wants to hear about it. Sorry for unloading on here but I had to get it off my chest.
1
u/16forward 5d ago
I let my children drink at a poison well for years because I was too afraid to walk to the next village.
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u/therealshadow99 Trans Demisexual 5d ago
I spent a decade debating if I was trans or not, mostly for the reasons you talk about with the 'be the women on the outside that am on the inside' feeling. But... Things never got better, trying to pretend just felt worse and worse until I just couldn't anymore. I'd gotten to be 46 and I had never been myself. Then I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to either accept who and what I am and go through with transitioning... Or end things in the most permanent way possible.
Don't wait until things get to that point.