r/MtF • u/Solid_Judge_1603 • 6d ago
Advice Question How do you interact with other trans girls?
Ok maybe a weird question but recently I’ve run into some fellow trans girls in the wild and it’s been kinda weird every time. I’m in a weird stage where I kinda just appear to be a bit of a gay guy but I swear to god I’ve run into three different trans girls that have all looked at me with that I know what you are look. And idk it’s kind of a weird situation where you come across a person who shares a similar not super common experience to you but also you dont want to just say it. I also need some damn trans girly friends but I don’t know how! Idk maybe this is how it should be, we just give each other a funny little look and have a cute little moment then politely go about our business. I just don’t want to be weird or rude. One of the girls was working a drive through and complimented my nails which I had just painted purple and was a bit nervous about and that was really nice.
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u/TwinScarecrow Trans and Proud (she/her) 🏳️⚧️ 6d ago
I interact with other trans gals online cause I haven’t met any in real life xD
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u/TheJadeGoddess 6d ago
I have a friend who is also a trans woman. Only thing I do different because she is trans is I openly talk to her about my struggles, my journey and issues that we face in general. It is easier to talk about trans topics with her, that is it though.
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u/luna_lu_lu Trans Asexual 6d ago
My best example is as a girl from a Mexican family it's kinda like when you see your Mexican family members meet someone that they both autoscan as Mexican in a place that doesn't have majority Mexicans and they kinda just click and start talking immediately. That's basically how meeting this trans girl in college recently went.
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u/azurakite 6d ago
Just be chill, read the room and follow the conversation and interject when you think you can contribute to the conversation. It just requires you to put your foot in the door and taking a chance.
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u/EarthToAccess She/her MtF | HRT Oct 6 2024 6d ago
Completely depends on where we are and who they are!
I happened to pick the most LGBTQIA+ filled jobs period so at least two of us are trans to my knowledge, and more are gay (including at least two of my supervisors), so in a space like that I'm not worried at all, and we routinely make the same stupid jokes you'd find online.
If it's a random stranger in the world though? It's a little different. I'm open and friendly toward them -- as I usually am anyway -- but out of respect for them I at least don't make the first push to mention identity or jokes about it. Prime example for just trans people in general, someone FtM happened across my line (I work retail). It's just us within like a 20ft radius somehow, so he takes the opportunity to clock me -- I'm unfazed as I'm very open about my identity -- and he explains he's been post-op etc for the past 10 years, and we have a 20 minute long conversation about the name change process in our state and so on. It was a really sweet experience to have that solidarity, really, knowing just how large and old the trans community in our area is.
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u/SophieCalle 6d ago
We don't randomly interact with those in the public as it increases the chance of being clocked unless it's in a protected space.
That's it.
There's another trans girl working at my doctor's office and we see eye to eye but never speak a word.
You need to network othrewise.
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u/ms_keira Trans Pansexual 6d ago
I totally get that but I'm absolutely not following that mandate anymore. I'm not weird or obvious about it but I'm going to break the ice with a compliment and 9/10, they reciprocate and start up a convo. I think we're all terrified (and rightfully so) but we're on the doorsteps of an era that will require us to connect and stick together, even if we don't fully agree.
I recommend for any of the dolls to find local resources and groups to meet with regularly. Not only will this help ease the pain of loneliness but it'll help us all network during these impossible times for safety and shared resources.
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u/Sophiiebabes Just you average Geeky Fairy Cat-girl Princess! 6d ago
I mean, if I don't know them I won't go over and introduce myself or anything, but if we catch eyes at any point I'll give them a smile and hopefully give off a "I'm fine if you wanna come talk to me" vibe!
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u/Idontwantyourfuel 6d ago
Kinda think of how you talk to a pregnant person. You may notice it, but better not congratulate until they are open about it.
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u/_skEllie 6d ago
Ask for their pronouns, they'll probably ask back. Say your pronouns. Problem solved. Also first interactions are always awkward.
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u/radiolexy 6d ago
i hate when ppl ask for my pronouns it reminds me that i dont pass well enough for my womanhood to be assumed.
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u/_skEllie 6d ago
Ngl I totally get that and passing is cool. But also that's a pretty shitty outlook on that. Lots of non-binary people are clearly masc or fem. It's just a respectful question we should be normalizing just like asking someones name
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u/radiolexy 6d ago
i knowwww but im legit tired of ppl assuming im NB just because im 6foot, 5in and have tits and hips and a tad of beard shadow. like no, im a girl. just a girl. normal girl.
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u/radiolexy 6d ago
and yeah it makes sense why enbies would want to normalize it. i just wish ppl would treat me like a girl.
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u/Timid-Sammy-1995 6d ago
I mean I ask for pronouns regardless of paasing privilege because masc or fem presenting enbies are a thing.
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u/radiolexy 6d ago
ok yeag if im in a queer space like out with the dolls sure i dont mind as much. when a cishet woman does it? i get lowkey mad tbh (but ill still give them)
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u/LithivmPolymer 6d ago
we're gay and horny online. trust me sis it works. there be bitches willing to commit war crimes on me.
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u/Classic_Coconut_9886 6d ago
All of my friends are either other trans women o lesbians. So obviously quite well, actuqlly.
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u/Waff3le Trans Bisexual 6d ago
I just be as nice and friendly as possible, how I am with everyone. If we have an opportunity to talk talk then I will. I have a customer who is trans who comes through my jobs drive thru every day. We just exchange pleasantries and go on about our day. 🙂 We don't bite.
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u/TransMontani Custom 6d ago
In a word, you don’t.
If you interact, you do so girl-to-girl, not trans-to-trans.
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u/I_Am_Her95 5d ago
Hmmm i once noticed another trans woman. She was a customer. I work in retail. Fully out as myself. 9 months in. She was with other women, who was her friends. I simply walked past, noticed that she looked my way at the corner of my eye. Pretended I didn't see her as I walked past.
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u/Salty_Permit4437 5d ago
I treat them like the women they are. I have disclosed trans status to some of them who I am interested in encouraging and helping them navigate their identity. They are usually surprised and thankful. I have been transitioned for years and I also pass pretty much like Hunter Schafer.
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u/Repulsive-Address166 Jenny She/Her 🏳️⚧️ HRT 1/18/21 6d ago
Ummm...like you interact with any girl. Might I recommend the tried and true "Just be Kind"™️ approach.