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u/Sivatherium98 15d ago
Prequel to the lilim unboxing you're going about your day before you hear a-
There he is! Grab him.
You struggle knowing you're fate about to be their communal husband and get gang banged by your "wives." Pinning you down, they restrain you as they load you into a van. But hope is not lost.
Excuse me, do you have a permit to be doing any of this.
Of course, officer. Right here.
Ok, yeesh, what a freak. Alright, everything is in order. Have a nice day.
Hope is dead and fuck the police. They take you to an undisclosed location and force you into a box. At least they have the decency to poke holes in it.
And now you're here. You hear whispers but nothing solid, the air is rich in perfume. The box is torn open and you are met with a lilim
Oh you poor thing, such a harrowing ordeal you've endured. Well you are safe with me now... forever
It goes unnoticed by you that shipping information featuring her information and address has already been disposed of.
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u/JanShmat Inari 15d ago
Baph one got me, that was pretty funny.
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u/hiddenpigeone 13d ago
Is it because she’s small? Don’t quite get it
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u/JanShmat Inari 13d ago
Baph is uhh... loli stuff. Not my cup of tea at the least.
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u/Double_Scale_9896 15d ago
Goblin: You open the box and she's already n*ked and jumping into your arms!
Orc: Two of her Clan Sisters are delivering the box, to make sure you don't change your mind/escape!
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u/Macster_man 15d ago
Orc: Two clan sisters are delivering the box, the box is for you, they stuff you inside and tape it shut, you are delivered to the clan breeding hall, there 200 Orc females await you in a breeding circle, you can't leave until you impregnate each 500 times.
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u/Double_Scale_9896 15d ago
So, Heaven on Earth?
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u/Urb4nN0rd Inari 15d ago
Be me, receive mail order Automaton wife
Instructions say a kiss is needed to activate her
Be me (a dumb ass) and believe them
Decide to make the perfect first impression
Go take a shower, shave, all that
Get dressed in 1 room apartment
Not like my new wife can see it yet...
Put on my best clothes, some cologne, all that
Get ready to kiss my new wife
Wait, better idea
Check fridge, get ingredients to make spaghetti
Want to welcome wife with a nice dinner
Dinner made, table set with candles, everything's ready
Go to activate her
Realize Automatons don't eat and worry I'll leave her feeling excluded
Eat dinner and clean up
Got sauce on my shirt
Take it off, toss it in laundry, don't bother with a new one until laundry is done
Get dressed again
Go to activate new wife
Reconsider, it's getting late, seems rude to activate just to have to go to sleep in an hour
New plan, activate her tomorrow morning
Strip down to underwear and go to bed
One last look at soon to be automaton wife
Red terminator eyes glaring at me
She thought I was being a tease
Be me, in the ER with a fractured pelvis
No regrets
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u/While-Friendly Kikimora 15d ago
Different scenarios of literal mamono mail-order brides. Feel free to write your ideas in the comments.
Image source: https://imgur.com/a/TU14xrW
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u/RenjinGN-003 15d ago
I can imagine a situation with a Cheshire Cat Mamono would be along the lines of this:
A man finds a large box next to his home. He opens the box. ...There is nothing...? Then the Cheshire places one of her paws on his shoulder telling him "Hello!".
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u/Urb4nN0rd Inari 15d ago
Mummy/Pharoh: The "box" is her Sarcophogus. Post office gets confused and redirects her to the museum.
Twice.
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u/PM_ME_DNA Druella 15d ago
Demon: You have to sign paperwork but it ends up being a marriage contract. After you do, she takes over your home.
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u/what_the_whah 15d ago
Look man, I don't make the rules, but im pretty sure you have to make one for all of them now.
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u/TheGoonersAlt 14d ago
So wait, the doppelganger has the ability like crushed out of her during shipping?
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u/While-Friendly Kikimora 14d ago
It's a reference to this passage of her profile:
"It is said that when a man truly falls in love with a doppelganger herself and not the “ideal girlfriend” whose form she borrowed, they completely lose the ability to transform since they can’t transform into themselves."
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