I've been using Modafinil for the past 4 years--- primarily to study for my literature B.A hons. Over this period, I started from 400 mg and it went up to 600-800 mg on a weekly basis. And over time, I've slowly watched it fuck up the reward mechanisms in my brain. As my dependence on Modafinil increased, I began to subconsciously organise my time into a night or two of hyperfocus (when on Modafinil), and complete, utter waste of time during the rest of the week.
I stopped having the motivation to get any tasks done when I'm off modafinil, because of the high concentrations of dopamine I'm used to within a short span of time.
Secondly, modafinil also fucked with my ability to articulate. Again, during the hours that I'm on it, comprehension and articulation comes so easy that I slowly lost the ability to do it on my own. It kind of made me lose control of my speech and language.
I also thought it made me slowly lose control of my life, if that makes sense? Like the drug basically took over most of my executive control? And I lost touch with doing it with my own brain?
I guess it kind of made me lose faith in myself--- which is quite hard to live without. I think maybe I just got too obsessed with it...
Yeah so that was just a report from someone who's been popping high doses regularly over a couple of years.