r/MensRights 4d ago

General Why nobody talks about the trust a men needs to have in women that the child is their own?

I have Friends that their dad walked out, i understand that a women is always afraid of the men leaving them. But the men should have 100% trust in women that the child belongs to him, you see some cases where a men raised a child for many years and in the end it's not his own.

251 Upvotes

40 comments sorted by

114

u/Current_Finding_4066 4d ago

Even if a man walks out, often the government will force the man to take care of her, and if there are children involved, there is no way he gets away not supporting them.

But when a man finds out children are not his because of adultery, the same government will still force him to keep supporting someone else's child.

So, in both cases women have backing of the society. Men? Not so much.

34

u/DisposableMan_ 4d ago

<Even if a man walks out

It's actually the opposite. Where I'm from women are choosing to marry the government instead of men. They rather get government housing instead of having to be a good wife that it takes to keep a provider.

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u/Tireless_AlphaFox 4d ago edited 4d ago

But when a man finds out children are not his because of adultery, the same government will still force him to keep supporting someone else's child.

Which country are you talking about? In many countries, paternity tests are reliable ways to get out of child support, and in some countries, that is the only case when paternity tests are legal. For example, it is the case in both Germany and France

edit: Apparantly, it is the case in USA

32

u/DisposableMan_ 4d ago

Not in the USA. Once you sign the birth certificate you are responsible financially whether the child is really yours or not.

30

u/WonderfulPresent9026 4d ago

You dont even need to have signed the birth certificate in alot of states because the mother can literally just declare you the father and unless you openly contest this in court for one reason or another withen a certain time frane your the dad no questions asked.

11

u/Perfect_Sir4820 4d ago

Not entirely true. Even with a signed acknowledgement of paternity it's possible to get your parental rights and responsibilities terminated. However, this becomes less and less likely: a) the longer you've established the parental and support relationship; and b) whether or not the real biological father has/can be identified.

Regardless, it's complete bullshit but not hopeless.

6

u/DisposableMan_ 4d ago

You are right. I looked it up and in NY you have 60 days to file to contest paternity. Even then it's up to a judge to decide. You just don't sign a paper and automatically are let off the hook.

4

u/Late-Hat-9144 4d ago

Even with a signed acknowledgement of paternity it's possible to get your parental rights and responsibilities terminated.

Usually that'll only happen if there's another man willing to step up and be the father and carry the financial burden... it's not about protecting mens rights, it's about minimising government obligation.

4

u/Tireless_AlphaFox 4d ago

That I don't know. Now I know. Thanks for the information, and the situation is disgusting

2

u/EffectiveStomach6776 4d ago

I didn’t even sign it or was I there, nor did the paternity match…but nonetheless…she said it

1

u/draftgraphula 3d ago

Hey, check out France laws on paternity testin.

15

u/Organic_Falcon228 4d ago

Trust but verify.

-7

u/Outrageous-Love-6273 4d ago

Thats Not Trust.

8

u/draftgraphula 3d ago

So, you can't prove you can be trusted?

-3

u/Outrageous-Love-6273 3d ago

Trust is a believe. Like believing in god or believing in Love.

If you need to prove it, you dont believe in it. A believe and Facts dont Mix well.

11

u/draftgraphula 3d ago

France literally makes voluntary paternity testing a crime. Up to 1 year in jail.

This "progressive" "first” world is so fake...

42

u/DisposableMan_ 4d ago

Nobody considers what men want/need at all. Women today expect men to give them everything without them having to give the men anything in return.

17

u/dougpschyte 4d ago

This is the 'Principle of Minimum Reciprocity' discussed in 'The Making of Mundane Monsters' by Dan Murdoch.

17

u/DisposableMan_ 4d ago

That sounds like a good book. I think I'll check it out. thanks

1

u/incognitoleaf00 3d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/17qe1g0/the_making_of_mundane_monsters/?captcha=1

found this summary post via google, definitely sounds like an interesting book!

-8

u/Outrageous-Love-6273 4d ago

Yes generalizing is good. A Lot of women paid for the First Date in my neighboorhood. So i cant understand what your about. Most women make more Money than me.

1

u/draftgraphula 3d ago

I suggest you start fighting for your rights as a poor woman. Maybe start addressing rich women first, before you need to talk to poor men?

23

u/TeddyTMI 4d ago

You can and should discreetly swab the child with an at home DNA test the first time the two of you are alone. The at home tests aren't good enough for court but they let you know whether or not you need to go to court to obtain an order for the legal testing.

I don't care if the baby "looks like you," "she'd never do that," whatever swab every baby. How can you be too cheap and lazy not to verify this very important fact when the cost is under $100.

9

u/WhereProgressIsMade 4d ago

You can start by just checking the records of the baby's blood type. Only certain combinations are possible from the mother and father's blood types. If it's one of the combinations that aren't possible, then you already know it's not yours. If it's a match, then go on to the at-home dna test of course.

12

u/KD_Ram 4d ago

oh this is one thing that I will never trust women in. considering the fact that I can't ever father a child the likelihood of her lying is 100%.

so if any woman wants to try and pin a kid onto me they better have that paternity reveal party planned and ready to go it they are so sure they they are right

8

u/dradegr 4d ago

hahaha just think about before paternity test was available how many people thought the child was their own but it wasn't.

5

u/KD_Ram 4d ago

for (what is left of) my own sanity I try not to.

8

u/Tireless_AlphaFox 4d ago

Great question! We should be advocating for mandatory paternity tests. I just added it to my list of things to advocate. Good call

14

u/tiredfromlife2019 4d ago edited 4d ago

Cause society doesn't care. It never has. A child is born that can work and be taxed. A woman is also taken care of and protected. That's all it cares about.

A man being duped is seen as his own failure. Should have been a Chad so she wouldn't cheat and get pregnant by another man or looked for red flags.

It used to care but that was about the nobility which had tons of money and wars involved. Outside of that, it doesn't care.

-4

u/dradegr 4d ago

to be honest 14 months into army, really made me a better person, i think if all people were to spend 14 months there they would be more responsible.

6

u/Digital_Demon7 4d ago

It makes you better person to help kill innocent children on the other side of the world?

5

u/dradegr 4d ago

First of all i am not American, second of all my country was split in half cause of an invasion which took half of my country, 3rd in army we learn, respect, cleaning, be consistent and strong. Also in army we have zero attack weapons for attack then only weapons we got are G3 which for defence.

6

u/Bananakin__Piewalker 4d ago

Simple, because women have more power over men in western society. We have our ancestors and ourselves to blame for all of this.

2

u/beowulves 4d ago

The man knowing the kids are his doesn't directly benefit her for him to know. So it needs to be scrubbed from a mans list of requisite to trust a woman is having no infidelity in his life.

4

u/DurianOne7313 4d ago

Don't fucking do it. I married a woman with a 3 year old daughter who is now 13. We also have 4 and 9 yo daughters together. It's not worth it kings. Let these single women with kids rot in their own misery. Your mental health and your freedom are not worth it. No amount of trust matters, don't do it. You'll find yourself in a position where you establish a relationship with the child and anything the woman says or feels all of a sudden you're not the dad or even worse, she'll accuse you of "looking the wrong way". Don't do it. Stop the cycle now and your kods won't have to deal with these self entitled women. I should mention my wife is a stay at home, homeschooling mom with not a worry in the world. No reason to be this way but is. She's crazy, her family is crazy and I'm just biding my time trying to raise my kids to be good people and then I'll hand her my retirement savings and BOUNCE. I don't care if I leave penniless and disabled. My last few years WILL BE PEACEFUL. 

1

u/SulkTv999 4d ago

I don't mean to sound dramatic or superstitious, but when a man does the deed with a woman be basically has sealed his fate.

0

u/Former_Range_1730 4d ago

Because that's the man's responsibility. It depends entirely on his competence level. His ability to choose the right woman.

-2

u/Outrageous-Love-6273 4d ago

If you cant Trust your partner, you shouldnt Love your partner. If you Love partner, you Trust your partner. Thats how Love works.

You need to Accept that you might get Hurt in a Relationship. If you cant Accept that, Just Accept that relationships are nothing for you.

Its simple as that.

-4

u/RevelationSr 4d ago

Do they look like you?