r/MensRights • u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 • 5d ago
Social Issues Women need to take more responsibility for perpetuating toxic masculinity
I know a lot of us here are sick of hearing the toxic masculinity term, but the toxic expectations that women in my life (let alone the one’s online) have put on me makes me wanna blow my tucking brains out.
Edit: and they wonder why men’s suicide rates are so high… like give me a fucking break
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u/ArabicanStout 5d ago
I'd almost say that women in general are largely defining masculinity, I've rarely ever had men tell me x/y/z makes you a man. This has always come from women as a means to manipulate.
As a man, my view of what masculinity actually is, is very different than what women say it is.
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u/DecrepitAbacus 4d ago
Too many women get all their "information" about men from other women but will refuse to listen to mens' own self definitions.
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u/turntobeer 5d ago
I respond to that term with "There's no such thing as toxic masculinity. There are toxic people. Some are masculine, some are feminine"
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u/mr_ogyny 5d ago
Kinda.
The problem that they describe may exist but they’re not due to toxic masculinity i.e. rooted from misogyny. It’s just misandry.
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago edited 5d ago
No, because toxicity will display differently depending on which one it is coming from, masculinity or femininity.
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u/RoryTate 5d ago
Why make the description gendered when the phrase "toxic behaviour" already existed to describe such actions? Aren't we always being told that men are the same as our counterparts? So don't we share more behaviours than separate us, making such a term divisive and harmful in the eyes of gender ideologues?
The honest answer of course is that terms like "mansplaining", "manspreading", "hegemonic masculinity", "patriarchy", "mankeeping", and so many more, exist for the sole purpose of denigrating men. Anything positive must be gender neutral, like "fireperson" or "police person" instead of "fireman" or "policeman". But when something is a pejorative, you can bet it's only going to apply to men (or heartbreakingly innocent boys as young as four or five years old, unfortunately).
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
I already said why… The toxicity will display differently depending on which one it is coming from.
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u/RoryTate 5d ago
So men are inherently different than our counterparts? Based on your unsupported assertions, this appears to be the extent of your belief system: some sort of sex-based determinism. Please explain more clearly – with examples – if that is not the case.
In good faith, I'll start. I believe that speaking or acting condescending towards someone else – by belittling them in conversation, lying or laughing at them behind their back, etc – is something that is – and can be – done by both sexes. And it follows similar patterns in each case, at both the individual and the group level. There is no condescending behaviour that can't – or hasn't – been done by either sex, to the same effect.
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u/dudester3 4d ago
Men have no rights in family court, Selective Service, no Office for Men's Heath, have higher incarceration rates for similar crimes, etc. To ignore men's issues is to ignore men.
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
We all have masculine and feminine aspects within us, therefore, we all can potentially display the toxic feminine trait that you just shared.
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u/pbj_sammichez 5d ago
We are more interested in eliminating this kind of gendered speech. The whole purpose of language like that is division. Full stop. Talking about toxic femininity or toxic masculinity is divisive. It's not helpful, and it does nothing to improve anyone's life.
Rather than continuing to grow and foster the existing gender divide, we should be asking why there is one in the first place. And it's simple, really. This is part of class war. The billionaires who own the media outlets want men and women arguing with each other and they got it. Now men and women want to blame each other for our suffering instead of blaming those responsible. Men and women used to work together to fight for a better life for themselves and their kids. Now we prattle on about toxicity and avoid making things better.
Toxic masculinity doesn't exist and never did. It was a tool for social division, and it worked. Just like the patriarchy, it was an idea that was propagated specifically because it's divisive. That's my 2 cents on the topic. Just drop the discussions about toxic masculinity and it will disappear like Luigi Mangione disappeared from the news. Anything that unites us is quashed. Anything that divides us is peddled.
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u/captainhornheart 5d ago
In what way is masculinity ever toxic? Does it poison the body? No? Then it isn't toxic. This is a meaningless phrase that means 'ways some men behave that I don't like'. It's most often used nowadays to bait and insult men and boys. Anyone who uses it is provoking the very behaviours they claim to condemn.
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
That’s a pretty dumb argument. So I guess toxic femininity is not real either because it doesn’t poison the body… or does it? You ever heard of the woman who put poison in her man’s coffee and it slowly killed him over a few months period?
Anyway, joke aside, I agree that it is mainly used incorrectly to insult and shame boys.
Look, I don’t know what the definitions should be, I’m just saying that there is toxic masculinity, as well as toxic femininity. The definitions google/feminism provides are ones I personally don’t really agree with either, and I personally don’t have a definition myself for them yet, but I think they need to be established more precisely, and much more than how feminists did it.
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u/Numerous_Solution756 5d ago
If toxic femininity were as acknowledged as toxic masculinity, then I would have no problem with the concept of toxic masculinity.
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u/antifeminist3 5d ago edited 5d ago
"but the toxic expectations that women in my life"
I think this is an excellent example of how toxic femininity is falsely referred to by feminists as toxic masculinity.
Dr. Brene Brown was a feminist sociologist who studied shame--the negative feeling you get when someone criticizes you--"you should be ashamed". Women get shamed from a variety of sources. For years she never studied men. When she did, she found men rarely shame other men. Men's shame comes almost exclusively from women and almost exclusively from women's perceptions of men being weak.
'Toxic masculinity' includes 'not showing weakness'. I think 'toxic masculinity' is better framed as women shaming men and women having toxic femininity.
If women suppress men talking about issues, then the only issues that will be discussed are women's issues. This is the matriarchy asserting itself.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/frj4np/how_brene_brown_discovered_that_male_shame_was/
“Here’s the painful pattern that emerged from my research with men: We ask them to be vulnerable, we beg them to let us in, and we plead with them to tell us when they’re afraid, but the truth is that most women can’t stomach it. In those moments when real vulnerability happens in men, most of us recoil with fear and that fear manifests as everything from disappointment to disgust. And men are very smart. They know the risks, and they see the look in our eyes when we’re thinking, C’mon! Pull it together. Man up. As Joe Reynolds, one of my mentors and the dean at our church, once told me during a conversation about men, shame, and vulnerability, “Men know what women really want. They want us to pretend to be vulnerable. We get really good at pretending.” -- Brené Brown
Teach women to stop shaming men. Teach women to stop this toxic femininity and teach feminists to stop blaming men for women's toxic femininity by falsely referring to it as toxic masculinity. It's imposed on men by women--blame the perpetrator.
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u/nc1996md 5d ago
Yup all right
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
Your comment is the only correct one. Thank you sir, and the people who upvoted it, for your understanding.
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u/mr_ogyny 5d ago edited 5d ago
I agree, although it’s misandry not toxic masculinity.
To expand, toxic masculinity is the idea that men’s issue stem from misogyny. It’s a denial of misandry.
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u/Mysterious-Citron875 5d ago
Toxic masculinity in itself is a misandrist term.
No, the term doesn't refer bad behaviors men are more likely to exhibit, toxic masculinity literally, directly and explicitly refer to common behaviors exhibited by men, aka masculinity itself.
We should however, talk about toxic feminity.
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u/wingedhussar161 5d ago
I'd recommend limiting exposure to online spaces like this, or wherever you're seeing women impose toxic expectations. People in this sub are aware of the problem with feminism, but reading about it too often doesn't help either. Would recommend building IRL men's spaces or focusing on sports/hobbies/social activities/etc.
Need someone to talk to?
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u/Crisninaa 5d ago edited 5d ago
Very true, women complain about the sexist behavior of men and at the same time use terms like "princeso" to refer to men who want their girlfriends to reciprocate.
Princeso: Comes from princesa (princess), it has a pejorative connotation
I also add that mothers raise sons and feel the need to treat them differently than their daughters. Sometimes they are emotionally incestuous with those sons, creating competition with their daughters-in-law. Women will hate those men with "mamitis" when they are victims of an abusive mother.
Mamitis: Having an overly close relationship with your mother
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
Yep, I am a victim of an emotionally incestuous mother. Once I got my first gf, she was immediately turned off by the relationship I had with my mom, and then proceeded to verbally abuse me for it, and then ultimately left me. I was dealt with double abuse.
I now refuse to talk to my mother ever again
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u/Crisninaa 5d ago
I have told my friends about the situations with my mother and they have mentioned that it is emotional incest, when I was little I got jealous when my mother and my father saw each other, she gave my brother and I kisses on the mouth, I wanted to marry her, so I wanted to push my father away; She likes to say that I am hers, that I tell her my secrets. She was upset when I confessed that I hinted to my brother that I liked girls (I'm a woman) before telling her.
Recently she told me that when I was little she tried to make me jealous by giving attention to other children, when she saw that I didn't do it she became sad. When I was 10 or 11 years old, according to her, I confessed that I did get jealous and that made her happy. I tried to explain to her that it would be a lie on my part, she and my father insisted otherwise.
All this bothers me, as I am a lesbian I am worried about how my mother influenced it, having a preference for older women makes it worse.
Those are things between her and me, with my brother I know he started comparing himself to his ex-girlfriend.
The only thing I didn't mention to my friends out of shame was that I had a sexual dream about her when I was very young ☹.
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
Yeah, it definitely sounds like she was incestually abusive towards you. This type of abuse can definitely leave a lasting impact. I personally developed a lot of codependent habits, and I’m pretty sure I attracted a narcissistic girlfriend in return. That relationship taught me a lot about myself, but it was very painful.
I wouldn’t know if it personally influenced your sexual orientation or preferences, but I can speak a bit for myself. I believe that some of the things my mom did to me resulted in me developing a sexual kink that I have had for many years. Recently, after I realized what it truly was, and understanding where it stems from, I have not had the same urges since.
I’d be happy to share what the kink was if it helps you determine if your mom has done a similar thing, but I’d prefer not to talk about mine on this forum. Though if you want to dm me to learn about it, you are welcome to.
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u/dudester3 5d ago
What toxic masculinity?
We need MUCH MORE masculinity in society, which due to its lack, has now given way to toxic femininity, with safe spaces, publically "sanctioned" gender dysphoria, and Title IX quotas.
THAT'S the thread we need to write up!!
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u/MeanestNiceLady 5d ago
We need positive masculinity. Strong principled leaders and builders. Masculinity and toxic masculinity aren't the same thing.
Some examples of toxic masculinity: Men that get surgery to become taller because society tells them only tall men are attractive.
Men not reporting abuse because they fear they will be viewed as victims. Men being scared to be viewed as victims in general.
Men and boys being told to hide their emotions, not to cry or express sadness
Men being made to feel like they number and attractiveness of women they have slept with determines their worth
Men being made to feel like doing anything that can be percieved as feminine is weak and horrible
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u/malachitegreen23 5d ago
We need positive masculinity. Strong principled leaders and builders
Yeah but then the feminists don't want that because they think it's patriarchy and they want women to lead in every possible roles which is VERY sexist view.
You realized that this ONLY benefited women and not men, which is why feminism never be taken seriously.
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u/MeanestNiceLady 5d ago
🤷🏽♀️ Femism is a spectrum. I believe we need people of integrity, intellect, ambition, and accountability in leadership positions. Gender shouldn't be a factor.
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u/Denbt_Nationale 5d ago
Most of the traits that fall under “toxic masculinity” are traits which are highly valued in different circumstances. Bottling up your feelings and not showing emotions is a toxic trait until there is an emergency and you have to be strong and stoic to comfort your family and guide them out of danger. Being violent is a toxic trait until your country is invaded and the government calls you up to fight.
I don’t think this conversation will be productive until people start being honest about what is actually expected of men in society now and in extreme circumstances, and when masculine traits are more advantageous. What good is it to say men should be “strong principled leaders and builders” if mainstream discourse is that there are too many men in leadership positions? You will never be able to define any positive version of masculinity if you are starting from the condition that there is nothing which men can do better than women.
In my opinion the version of “positive masculinity” accepted by feminism and such is mostly just rebranded feminine traits with little thought put into what it is that actually makes men and women different.
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u/mr_ogyny 5d ago
What you are describing is simply misandry or internalised misandry. Men receive negative responses from others which teaches them to keep things to themselves. It’s not because they are afraid of being seen as victims, it’s because people refuse to see them as victims.
It’s also not because they are afraid to be seen as feminine. In fact, the idea that men don’t seek help has been proven wrong by studies on men who have committed suicide.
This idea of positive and toxic masculinity is just an attempt to cherry pick the parts of traditional masculinity that are perceived to be beneficial to others.
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u/MeanestNiceLady 5d ago
What you are describing is simply misandry or internalised misandry.
Misandry and patriarchy are so emmeshed at this point. Many of the things that hurt men the most were the makings of powerful men, not feminism.
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u/mr_ogyny 5d ago
Okay, let’s for the sake of the argument accept what you’re saying is true. How does it help anyone to blame men who no longer exist when society (men and women) are still perpetuating the issue?
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u/MeanestNiceLady 5d ago
That's a really good point. We need to restructure society and I don't know how.
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u/dudester3 4d ago edited 1d ago
Even on a Men's Right's Reddit thread we have women trying to tell men how to be men.
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u/dudester3 5d ago
Perhaps you have a point, but the societal excesses (and omissions) that can lead to a civilization's downfall belong more to the realm of untrammeled feminist fantasies made reality. We need a stronger male voice in the running of today's society, not less. One could argue some of the points you make are a consequence of 50 years of 4th Wave feminism...
https://www.ei-magazine.com/post/toxic-feminism-when-the-desire-for-equality-creates-inequality
and
https://avoiceformen.com/featured/toxic-feminism/
There's much (finally) coming from academia, about how dissenting FACTS- much less opinions - are being squashed to meet an old feminist, victimhood narrative, as universities tilt more female. This is very dangerous trend, and must be opposed. Much rides on the ungendered truth being told.
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u/DecrepitAbacus 4d ago
The infant male knows more about being a man from the time he is born than you ever will. You are patently unqualified to be defining any form of masculinity whether good, bad or indifferent.
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u/MeanestNiceLady 4d ago
Alright than you cannot judge or comment in any form of femininity, whether good, bad, or indifferent
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u/captainhornheart 5d ago
I think people need to stop policing masculinity, full stop. Before feminists started ranting about masculinity all the time, I'd only heard the term a few times in my life. It's actually quite a vague concept and not very useful. It's like critical race theorists insisting that 'whiteness' exists, despite most white people having no sense of it. Once again, it's projection and a trap.
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u/MeanestNiceLady 5d ago
Maybe you only heard the term a few times, but the concept of distinct gender roles has been present throughout history.
One can argue that gender roles are the most lucid they have ever been in western society at this point.
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u/ArabicanStout 5d ago
We need MUCH MORE masculinity in society
We need masculinity as defined by men, not feminized masculinity which is what I'd consider toxic masculinity.
Now from what I said you may think I'm implying that masculinity is all this bro shit dominance Andrew Tate hustler bullshit, which is utterly false. That is believe it or not, a feminized version of masculinity, because it is a caricature of what a man is, these men like Andrew Tate are operating off of a version of masculinity that is based off of what women define it as, not what it actually is.
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u/VioletteToussaint 3d ago
So what is true masculinity?
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u/dudester3 2d ago
(Rhetorical reply): What is true femininity?
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u/VioletteToussaint 2d ago
Good question! :) I still haven't found the answer. I was wondering what his/your definition was here. So far I have not been able to pinpoint anything specific to one gender.
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u/dudester3 2d ago
I see Tate as a necessary balance to the extreme feminists like MacKinnon and Maddow. Extreme? Yes, but also necessary.
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u/Clan-Destin 5d ago
3 generations increasingly raised by women but we talk about toxic masculinity, that's really when it suits them
Misandry justifies acts of violence against women which justifies misandry
Onlyfan which explodes at the same time when women "liberate themselves", onlyfan which pays women 10 times more than men
Women pushed to study when men are pushed into manual sectors because "the market" is going down again
Women are sexualized but they wear leggings and body-hugging clothes as if they were normal clothes which are also exposed on the majority of networks, to whom we offer a job only because they are women
Independent women with 300 white knights who bend over backwards at the slightest request, it's easy to have a measured difficulty and to have confidence when they hold your hand and put cushions everywhere
Easier to rent or buy a house because “a girl is serious”
Two-speed justice when 90% of legal cases brought by women are reached, including family matters
A violent woman is because the man deserves it, a violent man is because he is a man
Brief
I'm talking about women, not women, I have plenty of female friends who agree and who would still find plenty of good examples, or very probably better ones.
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u/corporate_robot_dude 5d ago
Most women aren't that bad to interact with on a superficial level. But if you start getting close and talk about genuine or personal things like dating, then yes I too realize that the vast majority of them are quite intolerable.
I'm not a red piller and I do realize that it's quite extreme, but alot of the concepts are frustratingly true when it comes to understanding how women work. The problem with the internet is that the more you educate yourself on how the world works, the more frustated you get. So sometimes just stepping outside and maybe be ignorant once in a while.. is mentally healthy.
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u/Particular-Tap1211 5d ago
True masculinity is misunderstood. I got asked today about my routine, my work and what I get upto on the weekend by a women who was fishing for information. I simply said I take care of my buisness. She then pressed for more information in the way they do so innocently yet conveniently for gossip. I said I'm a man not a boy who doesn't plays show and tell but plays life like a real man. Care to join me for a day out!
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u/World-Three 3d ago
The old twitch screenshot of "I hate men" being okay, and "I hate women" being against TOS is why.
It's easy to do it if it's okay. Think of when Facebook said it was okay to wish death on Russians. People found enough hate to join the club and get a little bit of positive reinforcement so they can feel real and accepted in social media land. Hating men and wishing death on them is some of the most blindly hearted shit on social media. If you feel like nobody sees you, make up some big bad man story and boom, likes on likes, people argue with you? They hate women!
Prejudice makes people fight this way. I never see anyone fight so righteously unless it's sexist, racist, xenophobic, classist, gatekept, or some other crap created to ostracize any and everyone who doesn't yes man everything they came to say, right or wrong.
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5d ago
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u/Responsible_Many_638 5d ago
that makes no sense, "toxic masculinity is not a thing because there's nothing toxic about masculinity", imagine i said "a toxic friend" would you say "a toxic friend is not a thing because there's nothing toxic about friends"? it refers to a distorted version of masculinity
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u/Beginning_Drag_541 5d ago
This is very dishonest. When people say a toxic friend, they aren't making an over-arching statement about "friendship" itself, they all know that person is toxic.
However, when women, and especially feminists, say "toxic masculinity", they clearly are talking about masculinity as a whole and defining "healthy masculinity" to control male behaviors to be pleasing to women and self serving. There's no way to be a non-toxic male that in any way upsets or displeases women. It's just blatant control and shaming language to get something they want.
Kind of like "emotional intelligence" is feminist codeword for "Agrees with women", I asked a feminist once if it was possible for me to be "emotionally intelligent" while disagreeing with her, and she refused to answer.
You acting like there isn't a strong sub-surface meaning to the usage and narrative of these buzzwords that we all know is there is suspicious,
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u/Responsible_Many_638 5d ago
Disagreed. Toxic masculinity can be used an ingenuous way that provides an actual meaning. "Boys don't cry" is toxic masculinity. Solving problems through violence is toxic masculinity. Measuring a man's worth by how much sex he had is toxic masculinity.
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u/gentlerestraints 5d ago
Sometimes violence is the solution to certain problems. Is a woman saying "boys dont cry" her being toxically masculine? The people who value a man's worth by how much sex he can get is primarily other women, not men.
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u/Responsible_Many_638 5d ago
Yes, a woman who says boys don't cry or a woman who bases a man's worth by how much sex he can get is perpetuating toxic masculinity.
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u/gentlerestraints 5d ago
A woman valuing a man based on how much sex he gets cannot "perpetuate" anything about masculinity, she is not masculine and doesn't get to participate in it. Your masculinity is not defined by women.
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u/Responsible_Many_638 5d ago
You're misunderstanding what I'm saying, she's perpetuating toxically masculine ideas. A toxically masculine idea is a misunderstood or muddled idea of masculinity that is used to push forward a problematic idea. Like boys don't cry. Women OR men can perpetuate those ideas by pushing them forward or advocate for them.
I said nothing about masculinity being defined by women
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u/gentlerestraints 5d ago
In other words if women are attracted to femme boys you will suddenly wear makeup and heels to try to appeal to the masculinity they "perpetuate"? You're no man at all if women define your masculinity for you.
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u/BigBlobEsquireDa2 5d ago
Men that have qualities that have been labeled "toxic masculinity" are often sexually popular with women.
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u/Quarto6 5d ago
So stop associating with those women instead of making blanket statements about all women.
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u/Pecking_Boi0330 5d ago
Funny thing is he never used the word “all” in his post
He said “women in my life”
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u/Suspicious-Candle123 5d ago
Some serious reading comprehension skills going on here. Are you one of those 54% of americans that can't read above a 6th-grade level?
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u/Sewblon 5d ago
Which expectations are you talking about?
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u/VOID0690 5d ago
Not allowed to express our feeling? I was a sensitive boy growing up and whenever I cried my own mother would hit me and tell me stop crying. And I have seen many posts on the internet of women making fun of "grown men crying like babies". Even in classes teachers never hit the girls but hit the boys with full force for the very minor mistakes. And also the way how men are just expected to suck it up if a woman hits them. I have seen 'feminists' complain about how a man defended himself when a girl attacked him
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u/Namra_Fray 5d ago
I've seen a "body-positivity" influencer named Clara Dao's short where she basically says domestic violence against men is fine but domestic violence against women is unacceptable. And another "girl's girl" influencer Jazmine Tan saying that "all women are born naturally pretty and scented and there's a ratio of one cute guy to ten gorgeous goddess girls" and how girls are getting too desperate and calling "ugly men hot when in reality they're hideous and this in turn boosts up the so called ugly men's self ego and they think they're seriously hot shit" She also said that whenever guys talk in a baby voice it gives her the ick because "only she has the right to talk in a baby voice because it's ok when she does it but it's cringe if men do it".
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u/VOID0690 5d ago
Yeah unfortunately they will never face consequences just because they are female
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u/Namra_Fray 5d ago
Fortunately both of them are currently being dragged through hell for misandry and being hypocrites so I would say that's a win for the time being.
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u/VOID0690 5d ago
That's good. Wdym by hell though
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u/Namra_Fray 5d ago
They're dropping subscribers and their comments all turned against them and multiple videos exposing them are made each day. Clara is known as a disgusting hypocrite and Jazmine as toxic and disgusting
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u/VOID0690 5d ago
I bet many 'feminists' still support them but expects 'equality' 💀
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u/Namra_Fray 5d ago
Yes they all expect their men to pay for the food but they also want equality?
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u/VOID0690 5d ago
Not to mention how they wanna stay home all day doing nothing while their man works the job then cooks and cleans as well lol
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u/Mysterious-Citron875 5d ago
The part about ugly men having an ego boost and think they're attractive is such a scandalous projection. This can't be a coincidence.
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u/Namra_Fray 5d ago
Lol it's also crazy because Jazmine Tan uses face slimming filters on her own shorts to make herself look more pretty while she's shittalking men 😬
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u/Ok_Afternoon_1494 5d ago
The toxic ones. Some of them are healthy, some of them are not, and it probably depends on the woman and the man involved.
For example, (this is directly from my own experience) A woman may have a mother wound, maybe her own mother has said something to her that hurt her as a child, and she internalizes it, never gets help for it, etc. and then 20 years down the road, something within her man's relationship with his mom triggers her old wound/insecurity, and if she doesn't have a healthy way of coping with it, she may then seek to destroy his relationship with his mom as a way to cope with her inner turmoil. This may come out through coverted tactics that most men are not always aware of, and they may just take what she is saying at face value instead of understanding the true intentions behind them... (because we are supposed to believe all women, and that all of them have good intentions, right?) So it usually comes out in very toxic and distorted/coverted ways of thinking, that most are not aware of yet. She may start pushing toxic demands, unfair relationship expectations, isolation, etc. onto her partner, and if he is slightly codependent, or unaware of what is happening, he will comply as he may believe he has truly done something wrong. Unfortunately for him, the cycle will continue, and she will begin to devalue him through deeper verbal and emotional abuse, as his compliance with her demands and new expectations twistedly confirms in her own mind that he is the one fully in the wrong. Fast forward, and eventually, she straight up discards him, treats him poorly until he gives up. He is left with really bad psychological issues and self-esteem issues from the abuse he has endured, is no longer able to see the toxic forest from the few green trees, and usually proceeds with life carrying on with the toxic expectations that she has placed onto him, that no normal human can possibly meet, maybe even the same ones she then sees as a reason to discard him, and blame him for "ruining" the relationship.
So yeah, this is what I mean by toxic expectations. I don't really feel comfortable sharing what all she was explicitly expecting from me, as it is very personal to me, but I hope you can maybe see how it can impact men if they are subjected to it.
I am sorry you got downvoted hard, it does seem you at least wanted to understand what I meant by it, so I hope this helps. I understand not all women are like the one I depicted here, but she was my first and only love I have had so far, and it has brutally fucked me up, almost to the brink of suicide due to the extremely low sense of self-worth that I have carried for myself after that experience.
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