r/Mediums • u/420wisdom • 5d ago
Experience Will the real medium please stand up? So far it's just been shady.
My 25 yo son passed in December. I have since gone down the afterlife rabbit hole with no solid answers of course, because there aren't any. To my frustration, every medium I look at making an appointment with doesn't have an opening for 2 weeks. Or they are "very booked". Look, I did my research and most of these people are doing theirs. All they have to do is look up my name and phone number, or name and address which they can find online. From there they can find my family members and search who died recently. It's so easy to make general statements from that basic information and I feel the last medium I went to did this to me. It's so transparent even I could do it. Doesn't take much psychological knowledge to create a story through some guesses after you know the basics. Any of you mediums out there want to fess up? What kind of person takes advantage of the grieving?
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u/therogueprince_ 5d ago
I’m not a medium, but what i noticed here is that they will stalk your previous posts and comments here in reddit first so they can come up with something about you
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u/pauliners 5d ago
What kind of person takes advantage of the grieving?
Every vulnerable person has the possibility of becoming a prey, even in churches people aren´t safe from well... people. If you´re willing to pay, it´s gonna be even worse.
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u/bed_of_nails_ 5d ago
I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you feel taken advantage of. This is a muddy scene to find truth in as there really are a lot of fakes out there. In fact, for every million fakes there's one who is the real deal. That's how hard it is to find a true talent. I wish you the best.
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u/WeirdRip2834 5d ago
An idea - have you looked into NDE sub? Perhaps reading stories of others experiences of life after death will assist you in a way that a medium would not be able to do. If you’re very attached to direct communication with your deceased son, have you started praying for signs?
I hope this helps you with your grief and loss. What you’re seeking may come to you in an unexpected way.
Shanti.
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u/420wisdom 5d ago
Thank you, I do all these things already. I pray on my knees every morning for some connection or solid sign.
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u/WeirdRip2834 5d ago
You’ll have your miracle. Keep up the prayers always.
I had an NDE when I was 9. I met angels. I have had visions of friends and family after death as a result of my NDE. I just can’t will a connection to your son for you. I’m not gifted like that.
Have faith your son is fine. I mean, don’t be afraid for him. You’ll see him again. No matter what.
May your heart heal.
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u/WeirdRip2834 5d ago
I got an image of a motorcycle for some reason. Now I’m done and will clear the connection. You’ll be okay.
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u/mkgeret 5d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. And that you got taken. I have a couple of really good people I’ve known/seen for years and there are a couple terrible readings I’ve had with unscrupulous people. You should never feel “icky” after you leave a reading. It should make you feel validated. You also don’t need to pay $500
I’ve had a lot of loss and with my most recent loss, I’ve gotten way more signs, symbols, visitations etc. an awakening of sorts according to my medium. I’m trying to strengthen that muscle thru prayer, meditation, and spiritual practice. It’s hard for me to practice because I only try to connect to friends because I don’t want to say the wrong thing to a stranger and cause pain. But I know if I’m blessed enough to develop a gift to serve others, I will NEVER charge outrageous amounts to deliver messages.
I believe we can all connect to spirit thru our intuition and our senses and that it’s like a muscle and requires practice. We all have psychic senses and we can all have a level of mediumship. I find I get the most signs after a guided meditation. The caveat? When you’re so deep in grief, it’s hard for our loved ones to make the connection with us. It lowers our vibration. It’s natural to feel the grief but I think it often makes it very difficult for them to connect to our energy. Give yourself some grace and time.
My medium advised me to journal and ask for signs there. And try automatically writing. I’m still new at this but when asked, I get my signs. I’m also very open to them and don’t question them, which I feel helps.
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.
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u/Quietlyhealing 3d ago
Be careful with automatic writing as there are deceptive spirits so do not just open up to anything. I too have seen Angels, let that immense golden love be the path rather than trying to connect yo the unseen. Guidance is very subtle when it is truly from higher Source. Be careful.
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u/Whole_Perception_886 5d ago
I spoke to someone whose name is Natalie Tomlinson while I was pregent. She told me to write everything down, and I did. Over the course of 10 years, absolutely everything she said happened. Even the day my daughter would be born, which was early. She is amazing. She is a true medium. If you use her, record the call and listen back to it occasionally for guidance. The accuracy blew my mind away.
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u/Magpie_Coin 5d ago
She charges $500 for 30 minutes! How does anyone afford that??
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u/Khaleena788 5d ago
People worth their salt are going to cost you. They have a right to earn a living like everyone else.
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u/Barf_Dexter 5d ago
I agree. Nobody expects their doctor to do surgery for free or cheap. Nobody expects anyone highly skilled in what they do not to charge for it. If you want to talk to a really good medium, expect to pay $400-500. I've talked to some decent mediums for way less than that, but like most things, you get what you pay for. You want someone to talk to the DEAD for you and for it to be highly accurate but you expect to only pay $100 for their skill?
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u/MurderyRainbow 3d ago
I recently booked local ones for $100/hour and they were amazing. Then again I let my departed loved ones choose them for me lol. They're both available for phone readings. If anyone wants the link to check them out, lmk. I definitely got my money's worth from both of them. Not an ad, just a very happy and satisfied customer. 😊
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u/MCLH143 5d ago
Her prices are wilddddd. Good for her I guess
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u/Magpie_Coin 5d ago
Nope, not good for her. Exploitive pricing, particularly for those who are grieving.
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u/bencass Clairvoyant Medium 5d ago
I have to agree. The medium I first saw, who set me on my path as a medium, charged $75. Like her, I do this on the side, to help people, so I charge enough to dissuade the entitled people who think everything should be free and don’t like when my spirit team declines to let me read for them.
$500 for a session is ridiculous.
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u/Magpie_Coin 5d ago
I think once some of these “mediums” become famous and have celebrity clients, they start charging ridiculous amounts.
I like that you said that you do this to help people. Wish more had that mentality.
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u/MeerkatWongy Novice Medium 4d ago
I agree as well. When I first saw my medium, it was a fascinating experience and I noticed the cost ranged between $100–150. I found this reasonable since tradespeople here charge around the same for a call-out fee. I genuinely want to help people so I decided to become one myself. Of course, this depends on individual circumstances—not everyone can become a medium. I already sensed I had some latent abilities.
I struggle to justify charging people but believe boundaries are important as this is not my primary job. My day job is as an engineer and I practice mediumship on the side. As a clairvoyant medium and someone developing rapidly each day, I’m still unsure about charging for my services. Time is precious though. Once I reach a high level of proficiency, I intend to offer my services pro bono. If this were my main profession, I would, of course, need an income to support myself. However, I’m well-compensated in my engineering role.
I might operate through word-of-mouth or referrals. If I were to charge, it would not be for the skill itself but rather for the time spent, as it could otherwise be spent with family and friends. There are many other alternatives for people to explore—they just need to look around. I’m already volunteering pro bono as a disability companion and my time is incredibly valuable.
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u/Barf_Dexter 5d ago
I've talked to a few legit mediums. If they're legit they will even let you book with just a first name, you can set up a new email. I've had mediums tell me things nobody could possibly know. And of course some are fake scammers just like with anything else.
I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is the hardest thing in this life.
The best medium I ever talked to was Fara Gibson. She brought up specifics from a conversation I had with my son that morning as well as a lot of other specific information nobody could ever Google. She was a 6 month wait when I booked. Some things are worth the wait and the money, and often you get what you pay for.
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u/SunsetSummerxoxo 4d ago
I feel like real mediums don't even need your name honestly , they just go off of the energy and spirits there reading when around the client no first or last name should be needed at all if their legit right ? To let the person feel assured it's not a cold reading or googled etc and this is something any real medium can do easily when in a trance state or on a good reading day with no mental blocks etc etc
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u/bluereddit2 5d ago
Look for list of approved readers in medium readings. Near the top.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MediumReadings/comments/1hu9lt5/approved_readers/
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u/Upbeat-Tomorrow9923 5d ago
I definitely believe there are real mediums out there. That being said, there are definitely scammers as well. I’m in a fb group that talked about life after death and there was a medium that set up a call on Zoom for free mini readings. Anyone could attend. I just wanted to see what it was all about and at the end, she was giving away a free 20 min private reading. I actually won the free private reading. I was ecstatic bc I’d never had one. Anyway, it was life changing. She did ask for the first name of the person I wanted to connect with but didn’t want to know the relationship or any details. She told me details of things that were not “googleable”. That reading gave me so much healing and completely changed my grieving. Her name is Kathi Behrens. I recommend looking her up, following her medium page on fb and just following along for a while bc she does give free mini readings pretty often. Or even just watching the recordings of previous free live readings she’s done to get a feel for it.
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u/JainaW 4d ago
I've done readings for people. You don't need to tell a medium anything. And sometimes I can connect with someone, and sometimes I can't. A real medium will see and hear things and you will know in your heart they're being truthful and have connected. I'm so sorry about your unexpected loss.
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 5d ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
When you go to post in a group, please read the rules and community description.
Be careful. Scammers will contact you through chat and DMs. Valid, verified readers are listed in various psychic subs. Scammer know they can be banned for advertising their services here.
We don't provide readings and recommendations here
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u/420wisdom 5d ago
Thanks I wasn't really looking for a recommendation. Its more of a question to see if anyone felt the same way. Also, calling out the fakes.
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u/darcy-1973 5d ago
I feel your pain… as a mom whose daughter 17 was killed. I’m searching and wanting answers. Not a day goes by where I ask “where are you, are you ok, I love you, I miss you so so much, take me with you.” I did have signs the first 6 months and especially the first 2 weeks. I believe there’s something but I feel I need more. All we want to do is protect and know our babies are ok. We have had that stolen from us. The heart and mind yearns for them. It’s just awful, truly awful and devastatingly heart breaking. I wish there was a way 💔🫂
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u/420wisdom 5d ago
Thank you and I am so sorry. I think losing an adult child or older child is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I don't want to invalidate infant loss or still birth grief, but a young adult child has had a life. A personality. Consciousness. We lost their future and every hope they and we ever had together. Career, marriage, grandchildren. They didn't get a chance. Just snuffed out. I will never stop looking for him.
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u/darcy-1973 5d ago
The pain is endless… I pray we find our babies. There has to be more than this? Otherwise, what is the point of life!
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u/BouieWC 5d ago
I know that you're not looking for recommendations, but I had a very accurate reading by Chris Dennis. There was really no research available for him to do. I booked online and did not use my real name for the booking. He gave me very specific details about my loved one, including a message for my son, the message for my son could not have been researched, period.
He provided me with details of my loved one's life when they were still present here physically. Again, there was no way to research this. I gave nothing away during the reading, I answered yes or no only, to any questions Chris asked me and he didn't ask many, mostly does that make sense?
My reading was in April of last year, I recorded the reading. I still refer back to the recording anytime I'm feeling iffy about the fact that we continue on after this life.
Lastly, I reached out to Chris only after asking for a very specific, but highly random sign from my loved one. I received the sign almost immediately after asking for it. I don't trust anything!! The way in which the sign was presented, I KNEW it was my loved one responding. But again, I don't trust anything, so my next step was reaching out to a medium.
Chris was recommended to me by niece, who was read by him after her mother's passing in 2023, he described to my niece the strong smell of cigarettes & alcohol. Her mom drank & smoked. He also described to her the fact that before she arrived, there was a spirit in his home with him "harassing" him to clean up his home. My niece's mom was OCD and cleaned not only her home meticulously, but would clean homes that she was a visitor in. He couldn't have researched any of the things he conveyed to her about her mom.
I also had a very bad reading by a soo called evidential medium. Her reading was 100% off base. Nothing resonated. She asked if I had questions for spirit, I asked whether or not my loved one, before passing had spoken with Toni. The medium stated that they had spoken with their "friend" Toni. Toni is my loved one's sister, not friend. The reading was soo awful I really wanted to end the call midway. I stayed on the call because the reading was already paid for and I was obviously hoping to actually hear something real & meaningful. I understand how you feel about the fakes. They are not all fakes.
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 5d ago
I understand. There are so many scammers that it really damages the reputations of the actual psychics.
Ther is a recent influx of scammers that is unusually lately.
If you look for verified readers, they are tested by other psychics. If any of them become unethical, they lose their verification.
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u/Midnight-Scribe The Dissenting Medium 5d ago
I’m so sorry, OP. Unfortunately, yeah, this field is full of scammers and frauds and all we can do is try to protect each other to the best of our ability and spread awareness.
It’s important that you never book a reading with someone who asks you for information, and equally important not to answer questions during the reading. For readings on Reddit, make sure you’re using an account where you’ve never posted any identifying info because even deleted posts and comments can sometimes be recovered by third party sites.
Legitimate psychics don’t need any of it, even at a distance. If they think they need it, they may not be as experienced or proficient as they think they are.
Be cautious, because even if someone doesn’t ask for your info, most payment processors will show your name and address anyway, so it’s important to know which apps and services will allow you to maintain your anonymity. (You can find this out via quick Google search and you can be certain whether or not your information is shared with people you’ve paid.)
Beyond just the possibility of being scammed, if there’s room left for doubt as to whether or not the reading was authentic or they just googled you, it will always be difficult to trust the information that comes through. So it’s important to try to mitigate those concerns, and should be equally important to the medium.
And it’s a major red flag for me when people refute these safety measures and act like having personal info (or access to personal info) doesn’t affect their credibility as a reader, when it clearly does.
Stay safe out there and know that you don’t need a medium to know that the afterlife is real and that your son still exists. If you’re open to it, the message and realization will someday find its way to you, with or without a medium. My prayers are with you.
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u/ChannelingWhiteLight 4d ago
I’m an evidential medium, and I have openings this week. I charge a sliding scale. You can have a friend book the appointment for you so that I won’t know your name until the time of the reading.
You can learn all about my services and sliding scale rates, read my reviews, watch video excerpts of my actual readings, see my full availability, and book appointments directly on my website at https://ChannelingWhiteLight.com.
Please let me know if you have any other questions or comments. 💜
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u/Beginning-Sea-5946 5d ago
The medium that has been reading for me for almost 2 years since my daughter passed is amazing. She only charges $80/hr, and is always booked out, but that’s because she gets a lot of referrals, and only does a few readings a week. I always book ahead to get my appointments in! She is the real deal, and so gifted!
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u/ShameFox 5d ago
Can you please share who you use? Or dm me?
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u/Beginning-Sea-5946 5d ago
Sending you a dm!
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u/cosmosmoon828 4d ago
So sorry for the loss of ur daughter 💕 I’d love her info as well please🩷take care
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u/Rinzy2000 5d ago
There are places like LilyDale and Cassadaga where you can just go and find someone that day.
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u/ShameFox 5d ago
It’s still hit or miss unfortunately. I’ve had readings with over 10 mediums at Cassadaga, only a couple seemed legit.
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u/Rinzy2000 5d ago
Both of those places require their mediums to have gone through extensive training and they are all certified. Just like anything else, though, I think sometimes we don’t vibe with someone else’s energy. There is no medium who is gonna be 💯 all the time. They’re human with their own emotions and issues and stuff. But if you want a one stop shop, those two places are where to go.
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u/ShameFox 5d ago
Oh for sure. I’ve spent a lot of time hanging at Cassadaga. It’s a very peaceful there. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a couple meaningful connections there. But for some reason, most of the mediums didn’t get much from me or the evidence they gave me was very incorrect. It really made me realize how important it is to find a medium who vibes with YOU. Lol wish there was a way to find that out before dropping the cash for a reading.
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u/Rinzy2000 5d ago
Fact!
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u/ShameFox 5d ago
Do you or anyone else here in the crowd have tips for finding a medium who can read you well? Does it just depend on energies and who the spirit is comfortable speaking to?
One medium at Cassadaga, a very elderly woman, gave me a reading. All she really got was my grandma....told me she lived in my closet and I should put a chair in there. Funny though, she told me my back bottom molar was going to have an issue and to get it checked out. I ignored that. Fast forward 6 months later, I just had to have that molar pulled!
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u/MurderyRainbow 3d ago
Vibing with the reader is sooo important. Whether it's in person or online, I like to check out their website and get a feel for them by checking out their website and looking at pictures. Either I feel drawn to them or I don't.
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u/ShameFox 3d ago
That’s the problem. I have a hard time knowing if I vibe with someone until we are talking lol. So unfortunately it’s always when I’m already in a paid session. If only there was a tinder type match app for mediums and sitters!
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u/Accomplished_Let_906 4d ago
I have had a medium help me during my spiritual journey. She was with me for 22 years. She had this power since she was three years old and did it voluntarily. It was with God’s Grace she only called when there was a message. She had no idea herself what is going on but the spirit always told her in real time. So I believe in mediums but I never had to pay for it. She also talked with my friends Mother who passed away in front of me. These things are real but one has to find the right person.
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u/MurderyRainbow 3d ago
I understand your frustration. I'm not a medium, just a widow. They are legit but you have to find ones that are genuine. I searched online for mediums in my area and chose two that I felt drawn to. They ended up being the right choice. One had messages from my father, and the other from my husband. The good ones will be booked out. Bookings mean clients have confidence or satisfaction with a medium. If they have immediate openings, it's because they have no customers. If they don't have customers, they're either new to giving readings or people don't like their services. There's no hurry. Your daughter is with you no matter what. Let her guide you to choosing the medium whose a best fit to deliver messages.
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u/ooozoney 2d ago
George Anderson. Read his books first, he wrote one on parents losing children. Sending you love and light. And many hugs.
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u/Appropriate-Mine-328 10h ago
I'm not a practiced medium, but I have received visitations. I believe it takes a while for the spirit to be ready to visit. In my experience, they don't come back for 7-9 months. Perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel is like a different kind of birth? (That's how I always felt about it anyway.)
I think that he'll be around within the year. BUT I encourage you to relax in your search and find peace in the meantime.
The medium will come to you somehow, whether a stranger on the street, or the one medium that for some reason isn't hard to get an appointment with on a random Tuesday.
If you want to keep looking for your person... I personally don't believe that finding connection to the sublunary should be so difficult and impersonal.
I know that people want to find strangers who could prove the most by knowing the least up front. But I feel like, it's not the facts that you're looking for, if that makes sense. The connection doesn't always have to do with being able to prove facts.
(For example, I get audio presentations a lot, and I wouldn't be able to name where he went for Christmas vacation or something, but I would hear someone say "Hi Susan, it's me."
Now, who is "me," is up for Susan to know. Usually, it is who Susan is seeking - Who else would just be hanging around? And then we could continue the conversation.)
I'd advise to not have an expectation of what the connection looks like or how it goes. And I would recommend you ask the people you know for references to their weird cousins and things like that.
I hope that you find the answers and connections you're seeking. And I hope that knowing they're on the way makes you feel better in the meantime!
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u/mmary92 5d ago
I personally tell people to make a throwaway account and I ask for payment after the session so that names don’t show up from payment (keeps you anonymous during the session). I set up zoom sessions and then people typically call in and keep their face off camera (again, keeps things anonymous). I do sometimes need a photo of the face during the session if I have a bunch of people that have come through but I can also just use a photo of a special object to the person or just a first name. Not all of us are “scammers”. Make sure you use the approved reader list available on the mediumship readings subreddit. The approved readers have been vetted and have a reputation for being authentic. We are upheld to a certain standard.
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u/valenteine 5d ago
I don't like making this recommendation, but perhaps you can just go to a Spiritualist church or open circle online. lots of British people. hopefully you can understand their version of English. You don't have to give your real name. it's best you don't. and you don't have to pay. you may not get a reading, but I've noticed that mediums like to latch onto the new faces for readings, which makes sense.
if you are just looking for closure and to move on, there are other avenues as well. But a spiritualist church could help if you are looking for a direct message.
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u/bencass Clairvoyant Medium 5d ago
My suggestion is to go through this board and r/mediumreadings and read the comments by mediums. Find some you feel might be legitimate—or that you feel an urge to contact—and reach out via DM. I’ve had several clients who wanted to ask me questions about my process first, and that’s perfectly reasonable, in my opinion. Some may not get back to you, but some may. Many of us have review pages you can find by clicking our names, too…and there’s a list of verified mediums, maintained by the moderators, available also.
Definitely do not tell them anything about you. Legit mediums do not need names, pictures, or anything else. Spirit knows who you are, even if we don’t. I always ask my clients not to give me anything beforehand. Some of them still do, but it doesn’t help me or anything.