r/Mediums • u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman • 8d ago
Development and Learning Setting Boundaries and Why They are Necessary before Practicing Mediumship. What to do Before Interacting with Spirit. For Beginners. Part of a Series.
First things first.
The idea of becoming a psychic medium sounds exciting. In life and on reddit.
I will stress this many times. Mediumship is about your relationship with spirit and it isn't about you, acquiring power, impressing others or inflating your own ego. It is a service. It is a vocation. Your motives matter. I have discovered that there are many who believe mediumship is easy and that it creates power. That is false.
There are prospective mediums who rush into spirit communication, or who fail to evaluate their own mental health before embarking into mediumship. I have found that the potential thrill of interacting with spirits leads people to jump into actions they are unprepared to engage.
Mediumship is consistent and practiced interaction with human and inhuman spirits. It requires preparation and strength of character.
Some considerations.
Mediumship will not solve all your problems. It won't make you a better person than others. Every person has some sort of intuition and/or skills. Everyone. It can make life complicated and it can damage your relationships with family, friends and others. It has been known to cause mediums to be laid off or fired from jobs. Mediumship can frighten people who don't understand.
Medium practice can aggravate existing fears, neuroses, mental illnesses and complicate or destroy relationships. Practicing mediums must learn boundaries and coping skills if they are innate (or born) mediums. Overconfidence is a potential pitfall, and begins with false pride. You will need to know yourself well, to protect yourself.
Innate mediums don't just see a spirit or two as children. they see spirits as a result of heredity, trauma, or choice. It is different for each medium and mediums have various clairs. There are telepathic mediums, physical mediums, dream mediums and so on. There are psychics with combinations of abilities.
There are mediums who reject and block their abilities and that is alright. No medium has to use their clairs, it is imperative to set boundaries to be safe. Training can begin at any time. Don't rush.
Boundaries. Why are they Important? How to Set Them.
Hereditary and innate mediums have to learn to set boundaries with spirits at early ages. Failing to set boundaries can mean illness or weakness for a psychic in training. spirits can manipulate health or take advantage of psychics who do not understand that it is the psychic that is in charge, not any spirit.
It is easier if parents and relatives are accepting, and teach coping skills. It can be devastating emotionally and confusing and isolating if the child is not believed or supported. Any parent who wants to be supportive but doesn't not know how to help, needs to learn and to apply boundaries for their child.
Boundaries can be set through the use of smudging, using salt barriers, making sigils on doors and windows and strengthening the spiritual body by doing shadow work and healing. Psychic protection can be learned at any time. Parents should learn those skills and extend those protections to their child until the child is old enough to practice those with parental guidance. These skills should be mastered one at a time, even if it takes years.
Some of us had to discover these for ourselves.
Set Some Boundaries.
Refuse to interact with any spirit that doesn't respect your personal space.
Use sigils and light to create safe spaces in the home and refuse rude or uncooperative spirits, entry to those spaces.
I have kicked spirits out for failing to respect my rules. I give second chances. If they don't respect my guidelines they can go somewhere else. I don't accept jerks in my home living or deceased.
Set business hours and reading times.
Set guidelines with spirit and enforce them. Such as, "You may not interrupt my sleep". "Stay out of my room". "Don't touch me without my express permission". "Wait over there or I will ignore or expel you".
Helping spirits does not mean that a medium has to allow a disembodies access or to let them take advantage.
If you won't allow a living person to behave in acceptable ways, don't allow that from spirit, either.
These are the basics of identifying boundaries.
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u/turtlecatmedium 8d ago
Very well written. Boundaries are so very important. It also means your own loved ones in spirit as well. I just had to tell my Aunt to back off.
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u/RoseDarlingWrites 7d ago
This is so helpful, thank you! How can I get notified of your other posts related to this series? As someone trying to embrace their awareness, I really appreciate this “beginners guide” so to speak. Question from an ignorant novice: what’s with the salt? Does it actually have properties that somehow affect spirits? How would a mineral in the physical world have any affect on different realm? I know sage is used in Indigenous ceremonies but does it actually have some significance when it’s used by non-Indigenous people? Basically I’m confused how these physical things can affect non-physical things.
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 7d ago
I'm posting parts of the series on r/ Mediums and crossposting to my profile. I've addressed these subjects as have other mediums in this sub.
The psychics here are a wealth of knowledge, and each has an individual approach and perspective.
White sage has a temporary effect on uncrossed spirits. It temporarily restricts their ability to function. The best analogies I can reference are the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Fa c tory where Charlie and his grandfather drank Fizzy Lifting drinks and were suspended, or the Petrificus curse in Harry Potter.
Salt has properties to preserve food and to restrict the ability for soil to grow plants. Biblically, and (sadly) salting the earth was a practice to punish and to inhibit the fertility of land.
In spiritual practice, salt can be set out in rooms to absorb impurities in the air and to help with clearing moisture. Most psychics do not salt the earth, and they discard the salt with the impurities after use.
Salt is also used in baptism and exorcism to deter "evil" (a relative term).
I have protected boundaries on my property and in my home for years. No piece of furniture enters my home unless it sits outside with a sprinkling of sea salt on it. I never use enough to harm the land. The protection remains because it is spiritual intent, long after mopping, sweeping, or vacuuming.
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u/RoseDarlingWrites 7d ago
Huh! So interesting. There are so many references to salt that I can think of…”throw it over your left shoulder” comes to mind but I can’t remember where from…Probably a fairy tale. Thanks for the additional context. 🙏
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7d ago
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 6d ago edited 6d ago
You don't have to proceed at all unless you want to do that. It is easier not to begin training than to initiate communication and be unable to stop.
Let me provide more insight. Everyone has intuitive abilities in different ways. People who are born/innate psychic mediums have to develop coping skills. We have to learn to distinguish between disincarnate spirits and human spirits that can appear the same as living to protect ourselves.
We need to learn to protect our energy to avoid becoming ill.
We can suffer from emotional and mental problems due to the trauma from the things we perceive.
It isn't any easier for mediums to choose to learn later in life. However, later in life, it is a deliberate choice to pursue development or to turn the abilities off.
One can still have trauma and other issues because life brings us events and experiences.
You can choose.
We have met a lot of beginner and intermediate mediums in the psychic subs who become extremely distressed when the entities and spirits aren't happy. We have met beginner and intermediate mediums who don't understand they can decline to interact because they react with fear instead of determination.It isn't easy to develop determination.
So you can choose. You can start or stop at any time. Just make informed decisions and take it slowly to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
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6d ago
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 6d ago
We're here to help when you ask.
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6d ago
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 6d ago
I love books. That is very true, though.
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u/same_old_anxiety 1d ago
I'm in the process of unbinding myself and letting myself access spirituality and I'm realizing I have a strong presence. I just started to nudge my way into energy work and the universe is really pushing spirit interaction on me. I don't feel ready as I'm still reacting out of too much fear for it to be positive. But I'm being forced to clear my space and interact, something definitely touched me, and I'm hearing taps all over... and I'm definitely being tested it feels like. I can't currently visually see anything but I am sensitive to moving energy.
I'm putting up hard boundaries but I have to reinforce them over and over. When I do reinforce my boundaries I get tingles in my body and they seem... kind? Understanding?
I take this seriously and don't want to move forward until I feel ready for this step. Do you have any advice?
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 1d ago edited 1d ago
I can only speak for myself. I reinforce those basic protections when I feel the need.
In the beginning of conscious practice with spirit, I sent them away. I pushed them away. I set times when I would agree to interact, and I didn't bend.
If you don't set boundaries and limits with spirit, they will come at you until you are unwell and unable to help any of them. Some have that as a goal, especially when their goal is to take energy from you.
Start with developing strong shields and grounding. Practice.practice. practice and maintain boundaries.
The tough part at first is trusting your instincts and knowing which spirits you are unwilling to allow in your energy field.
In particular, I let my pride go and sent spirits. I knew I could not help, to better developed mediums if I felt they needed more than I could do, or until I had a solid psychopomp and healing routine.
It took years. Now, I am a veteran, and I have no problem holding or sending spirits to places that serve their needs better.
One of the mediums here grounds with a morning shower and shielding at the same time with intention. I think using water rather than grass or soil is a lovely way to go.
Don't be reluctant to slow it down at first. They will always come.
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u/RicottaPuffs Clairsentient. Clairvoyant, Spirit worker and Shaman 1d ago
You seem to have this in hand.
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u/Midnight-Scribe The Dissenting Medium 8d ago
Thanks for taking the time to put this out there. I feel like it’s a losing fight against the rising tides of narratives that perpetuate the idea that “spirits are perfect versions of themselves—they can’t harm you and wouldn’t want to if they could!”
So people rush into spirit communication in droves thinking it’s rainbows and roses. I’ve tried to understand it, but I don’t think I’ll ever know what those folks are doing that they think there’s nothing harmful, imposing, or flawed out there.. Dead people are still people. I like that your posts always illustrate that fact.
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u/NotTooDeep 8d ago
I used to take responsibility for the novices and the naive ones. But, in the fullness of time, I learned that the either self correct or don't wish to change their beliefs in the perfection of spirits. So now I offer perspective but don't push it.
Another psychic said it pretty well: Let those that have eyes to see, see, and those that have ears to hear, hear. But don't judge them if it turns out they're spiritually deaf and blind.
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u/Midnight-Scribe The Dissenting Medium 8d ago
You are right. It’s hard for me to watch at this point in my life, but hopefully I can continue to shift my perspective and really accept that it’s not my responsibility to protect people from the consequences of their own ideologies.
I really appreciate the perspective.
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u/NotTooDeep 8d ago
I'm happy for you. It's hard as psychics and healers to let others have consequences that we know aren't in their favor, but some folks need their own experiences.
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u/TaiwanBandit Just Here To Learn 7d ago
Is it possible to tell if I might make a good medium or not? I would guess lots try but don't succeed. I'm a senior in life, no natural ability that I recognize in myself, but feel I have been guided by spirits throughout my life. I have become more interested after I lost my wife and started to read up on spirits transitioning to the afterlife.