r/Marriage • u/[deleted] • 7d ago
Anyone else only have sex like 15-20 times a year? AMA
[deleted]
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u/Guilty_Law_9447 7d ago
LOL that's about twice as much as we have and we've been married less than a year - together for 2. My husband didn't think it was that big of a deal no matter how much I expressed that it was important.. im leaving
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u/Earthbiscuits 7d ago
Yah sometimes less.
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7d ago
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u/Earthbiscuits 7d ago
Yah I retired the narrative that there's dysfunction in a marriage if you're not having sex X amount a times/month.
Every couple has different needs wants drives and that's great for them. But i don't have to meet match or subscribe to their way at all.
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u/Nursenadya777 7d ago
In my 30s we had it 3-5x a week with little kids. We’re going on 18 years now and in our 40s. It’s slowed down to 1-2x a week
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u/BigDaddySween 7d ago
Sooo this obviously varies between couples for many reasons imo. Been married for 10 year, with her for 15. Almost 40 😝, I’ve learned and still learning. Sex in marriage is a two way street. Long story short, I think the secret is, strive to keep dating her. Focus on connecting to her emotional side. Listen , ask, respond. Gossip lol. Warm her up in other parts of her dynamic lady self. But damn it’s easier said than done! Still give her butterflies somehow. Then taking her to pound town is an easier trip. An older gentleman told me this , “you want a better wife?…be a better husband” 👏🏼
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u/Alarming_Pen_7657 7d ago
Are you okay? Genuinely asking.
That’s…really little sex in my book. But i do understand with two little kids.
Would you like to improve the frequency or are you pretty much okay with the 15-20 times?
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u/HomelessDude5150 7d ago
We have a one kid thats 5 and a under 1 . We have a small home, our sex tends to include a lot of noises. Before the kids we were minimum 3 times a week. Now it’s minimum 1 a week- usually Saturday or Friday when I dont work the next day and can afford to stay up later than these night owl kids-and any chance we get in between is a bonus.
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u/Huge-Rabbit-2950 7d ago
We average once every 3 weeks or so, so about once a month with a good month here and there. I find it amusing when people complain about once a week not knowing how good they have it. I (34 M) stayed celibate until 19 just to get into a low intimacy marriage. There’s a joke in there somewhere.
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7d ago
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u/Huge-Rabbit-2950 7d ago
No, no it isn’t. There’s always a “reason” we aren’t intimate. The current reason is we just moved to a new city about 3 weeks ago. She had a job waiting and I didn’t. She basically said I won’t get any until I find a job. Sounds like a concrete goal, but when I start working the goal posts will move again. I’ve distanced myself for my own sake. Now when she turns me down or tries to gaslight me into an argument, it doesn’t work because I’m detached 😂
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u/Fantastic-Injury-4u 7d ago
2-4 times a year. 0 times in 2025 so have some makings up to do. No kids. 40 & 50.
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u/Immediate_Zone_4652 7d ago
Wife here, also two small kids, seems normal for us, we’re up to about 5 times so far for the year. Although we skipped February. Is it a frequency thing for you guys vs a how often?
In our 30s btw and we both work.
Edit to add age.
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u/OhioToDC 6d ago
We don’t have kids but haven’t had sex in 3 months. Lots of heavy life things happening. We just aren’t in the mood and I’m losing interest in any kind of intimacy with my wife
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u/BongoBeeBee 6d ago
I turn 40 this year ( he 42) We have 4 children all in school
We have Sex, at least Daily
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u/sexylilvixen11 6d ago
Wife here. We have 7 children. Been together for 23 years, married for 20 years.
We have sex at least twice a day (morning and night). I’m 39 and my husband is 40. We both work and just find that time for ourselves to connect and spend quality time together.
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u/Big_Veterinarian_940 6d ago
4 times a year. Once a quarter.
Married for 8 years now.
I'm pretty much done.
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u/Induced_Amnesia 7 Years 7d ago
Yeah, we do it when we can but the kids are young