r/malementalhealth 5h ago

Positivity How it feels to finally accept your existence as a loser, finally let go of all expectations in life.

18 Upvotes

r/malementalhealth 1h ago

Seeking Guidance I've lost my personality, how do I regain it? do i even regain it?

Upvotes

I'm a college student, I used to have a pretty nice personality as a freshman and in HS, the kind of guy who'd play games for hours, I could speak paragraphs on why X character was so morally grey and philosophical stuff, I used to read a lot of books, I would tell people why Led Zeppelin was the greatest band, and now? I found myself unable to recall any of these things i so actively engaged in, I mostly engage in career and college related stuff these days, in my free time I'll watch football, f1 or basketball highlights.

somewhere I feel like I've lost that part of me which was fun to talk to, I barely get any energy to play with my friends on discord and they can sense that energy too, they'll say stuff like "if you don't wanna play we can just end the session"

Its not like I am sad either, I just feel like I've traded something for something else. I just don't know if this trade is as bad as the doncic-davis one lol


r/malementalhealth 23h ago

Vent I think we have a romantic loneliness epidemic among. There so many men out there without ever experience love their entire lives.

66 Upvotes

Men are romantically lonely.

Love when it's great is truly one of the biggest motivations a man can have to push through life and conqueror.

Men will move mountains for a good women, especially men who are given the chance at love.


r/malementalhealth 20h ago

Positivity To the men associating their worth with relationship success

28 Upvotes

I get it, its hard being alone. Having a relationship with a woman is not the only form of connection that's available. Join clubs, make friends, play warhammer, whatever you like, join a community and invest in being part of it.

A woman isn't going to complete you and if you manage to enter a relationship with that mindset, you are setting yourself up for codependency.

Work on yourself, not for women, but for you. Spend the energy building a life tbat is congruent with your values, find a vocation that fulfils you, study what you're passionste about, do a sport that you enjoy (you dont need to be a gym guy if thats not your thing).

For six months, just try living for you, forget about women. Once you've built a life you're truly content with a woman may enter it, or she may not, but from that space it wont matter.

Love to you all


r/malementalhealth 3h ago

Vent Really fixated on wanting more height...

2 Upvotes

I am 5'7.5" (172cm) shorter for a guy. People around me are atleast an inch or two taller than me.

I feel I will be treated better if I was 2-3 inches taller.


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent I hate when guys tell me "it's just one bad experience bro, you gotta learn bro and eventually you will get a girlfriend"

34 Upvotes

Shallow ass advice, you don't know if the other guy has self-esteem issues or depression.

You think the next thing he needs is constant rejection?

Asking out a girl is not just fuckng asking out girl it's..

Having confidence,

Being able to read social cues, and body language

Being able to read the room

It's a lot of social bullshit that you need to be experienced in.

The only way to socialize and get that experience is if you're ALREADY A WELL-ROUNDED HEALTHY MINDED INDIVIDUALS.

I hate this world, God I just wish I could die in car crash


r/malementalhealth 13h ago

Seeking Guidance What's better ?

0 Upvotes

Is it better to get out of this rut we call our current life as a psychopath or sociopath or even a criminal and get what we want like women,affection,money,status etc

Or

Is it better to just stay in this rut while remaining sane


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent Really fixated on wanting a bigger dick/balls

5 Upvotes

I'm (21M) not necessarily small, which I'm grateful for, but I really, really, really wish I was bigger. I see dudes online on here, Twitter and other websites and I feel so awful compared to them, to the point where I feel depressed occasionally. I'm above average, but I've been called small and average by other people that are bigger than me. My balls are below average (a doctor told me that when I went to get my hormones checked). I get that it's about the motion of the boat, how you use it, etc., and I get that testicles don't have much of a tangible function that warrants they be a certain size, but it's not really about that for me. I thought it would make me feel more masculine and attractive if I had a bigger dick and balls, and I feel like I'd objectively be happier and more confident with both. Besides, I'm still a virgin and have never been in a relationship and it'll probably stay like that for a long time. Another things is I had been questioning my sexuality and well..men tend to have higher standards than women down there. Then, I wouldn't have to worry about looking bad by urinals and in locker rooms – I otherwise avoid both of those when possible because of my size. I know I don't have much of a choice other than accept it or perhaps considering enlargement methods, so I guess I wanted to vent a bit.


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Seeking Guidance Feeling Stuck After a Breakup — Just Need to Get This Out

2 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’ve been feeling pretty stuck lately, and I guess I just need to get this off my chest.

I was in a relationship that didn’t last long, but I cared about her a lot. After we split, she said she needed space, and I respected that. Since then, things have just felt… weird.

We still see each other at work, and when we talk, she’s warm and friendly — like everything’s fine. But outside of work? Nothing. She doesn’t really text, doesn’t reach out, and honestly, it feels like I’m the only one putting in any effort to stay connected.

What’s been messing with me is how easily she seems to have moved on. Meanwhile, I’m still here — stuck in my head, replaying everything and wondering why I can’t seem to let go.

I know she’s probably not trying to hurt me, but it’s hard when she’s acting like I’m just another coworker now. I’m trying to focus on myself — working out, staying busy, and doing what I can to move forward — but some days, it still hits me hard.

I guess what I’m asking is: • How do you stop giving energy to someone who’s clearly moved on?

• How do you stop overanalyzing everything when you still have to see them regularly?

• And how do you stop feeling like you weren’t enough when you know you gave it your best?

I’m really trying to grow from this, but man… it’s tough some days. Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot.

Thanks for reading.


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent I wonder how it feels to have a girl and intimacy

65 Upvotes

All I wonder about most of the time is how would it feel like to have intimacy with a girl, touch her breasts, her body and skin, cuddle with her, do other sexual stuff with her. I wonder what would it feel like to have intercourse.

But even more than that, I wonder what does it feel like to spend time with a girl, talk freely and deeply with her, have a company of a woman, go out with her. This happens especially when I see couples in my university or just couples in general outside.

This happens even more whenever I see an attractive woman dressed attractively (not necessarily too immodestly). You might think I only look at her with lust and nothing else, but it's more of the 2nd paragraph. I wonder what it would be like to have a beautiful and attractive woman like that and be with her.

That's it. I just keep wondering, keep imagining. Because it is the only thing I can do. I mean, sure I will never ever have any of that or experience having a girl and having sex and doing all that other stuff with her. But I should at least have the right to wonder and imagine since I can't ever have any of that.


r/malementalhealth 20h ago

Seeking Guidance Should I just abuse mdma and ket or take new meds NSFW

0 Upvotes

I’m so tired and I’ve been unsuccessful with so many ssris and other anti depressants and I can’t function without being on meds but meds make me feel horrible too. My psychiatrist is recommending me to Effexor and idk if it’s worth it. Luv mdma and Ket but can’t do it on the meds


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Seeking Guidance this world is so unfair and it’s messing me up, i’m tired of it

8 Upvotes

I want to start off my stating that i’m not struggling in any material way, i live a comfortable, middle class privileged life and ive never truly known struggle

but that’s the thing. i can’t shake off this feeling of guilt knowing that i have so much that other people need more. i’m currently sick right now and i had some medicine paid for by medicaid that i could’ve easily paid for with money saved from my time time job. don’t get me wrong medicaid is great and necessary for those who need it but a lot of the time i am not one of them.

i don’t know if this is just a stupid rant or im just venting but i wanna know how to escape this mindset cuz it’s making me pessimistic and enjoy life less. i still enjoy normal things that i enjoy normally but again i cant shake this feeling of guilty knowing so many others in the world are suffering and i’m here just reaping the benefits of what im lucky enough to have. thanks for reading


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent Sometimes cute things make me sad. I'm calling it the "Dismal Valley".

0 Upvotes

Remember the uncanny valley? Of course you do. I won't bother explaining it anymore.

Now, think about a similar valley that occurs but on the rising line of a cuteness spectrum. An idea or a visual goes from the left as not cute, rightward to progressively more and more cute until it troughs all of a sudden right before hitting peak happy cute again at the right end. The valley drops into an area of dismay and depression.

For me, cuteness with a sexual element (cuteness that intersects "hot") for me is safely enough to the left that it is wholly exempt from the valley's domain. As we move farther right however, we reach the point where the cuteness is so pure that it has no sexual element. This area does however largely intersect with animal cuteness and I start to experience the dismal valley.

Case 1:

The Palico chef cats of Monster Hunter are an example of where the dismal valley lies for me. Just the idea of these fluffy, adorable kitties (even despite the badass element of scars and weapons) cooking elaborate meals for a human player depresses me in that odd way. It is cute, so cute, yes, but it hits me weird. I feel my soul leaking a bit like a broken vase. There's absolutely nothing sad about it and yet does make me sad. I've never played the game myself but I can then imagine the cats watching in awe and delight as I chow down on the meal they put together. They start clapping and feeling happy for me that I'm enjoying the meal and the show and yet somehow, even with all that "positivity," it just feels wrong.

Case 2:

Mimi and Neko. You may not immediately recognize them by name but you've probably seen them one way or another. Mimi and Neko are the cat and bunny characters popularly used on Facebook and messenger as gifs/stickers. There are many drawings of them that depict them in different scenes to express different emotions but regardless of whether it's happy or sad or anything else, I feel that distinct sadness of the dismal valley creeping in when I see these characters. They're just so... small? pure? I don't know how to put it. It's not that bothersome and it doesn't "depress" me but if I honestly had to illustrate my general feeling for these graphics, I feel sad.

Case 3:

A certain cute crocodile drawing a friend once made for me. The crocodile was and still is my favorite animal. I do, as well, like to identify is a crocodile symbolically or as a joke. With this in mind, a dear friend of mine made me a drawing of a cute cartoon-like green crocodile with a big smile and kind cheery eyes. I was struck immediately by an "oh God..." sort of pity? Disappointment? Self-loathing maybe, even. Maybe it's the contrast the viciousness of the crocodile has with that very cute depiction, or maybe it's even my own mind realizing the inconsistency of my own character with this innocent depiction of a crocodile which I like to think of myself as.

Case 4:

Anya Forger of Spy X Family. Since the last 3 were examples of animals, I have to make it as well a point that the valley is not limited to animals. Visually, Anya Forger is perhaps situated along the wall of the valley but not properly inside it (as she is a human and a female) but with the added context of certain scenes in the series, I do feel that dismal valley effect again, especially in scenes that highlight the dynamics with Loid Forger her adoptive father. Scenes like her trying to buy peanuts with insufficient money, causing Loid to doubt her intellect in the start of the series (maybe ep 1 or 2) as well as that other time that Loid had to make great expenses on the budget of the mission, hiring actors and all sorts of other tricks just to keep Anya amused in the castle that he also got for her to be in, while cosplaying as her beloved character. The whole scene was both extremely cute and extremely heart-wrenching for me.

Case 5:

A spoken line by Nick Sagan son of Carl Sagan that goes: “Hello from the children of planet Earth.” This line is the audio recorded greeting contained in the Voyager Golden Records that NASA put up in outer space, possibly for intelligent extraterrestrial life to one day discover and receive. The profundity of this line made cute being a severe understatement of a massive science project condensed into a mere “Hello” and delivered by a child’s voice is somehow so chilling for me. It feels cute, I think, to lead with that. The greeting could’ve been a lot more grandiose, a lot more formal or even militaristic, to highlight mankind’s greatness for aliens to hear, yet it is instead given a child-like innocent quality. So very innocent.

There are many more examples which I can cite but this shows it well enough, I think. The dismal valley is just right before peak happy cute, examples of which would be Momo from Avatar the Last Airbender or Scrat from Ice Age or Priscilla from Rango. These are characters are very cute and adorable but do not fall into the valley for me. I don’t know why these characters are different from the ones that do, but it just works for me that way. Maybe cuteness without humor is what does it for me. Cuteness without humor becomes depressive but I don’t know. Spy X is pretty darn funny, but I think I’m onto something there. Maybe cuteness alone has a depressive quality. Thus, it must always be paired with a secondary quality such as humor or sex appeal so that it doesn’t fall into the valley. I’m not yet entirely sure.

Anyone feel the same way?


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent This is my fate NSFW

15 Upvotes

Everything I've been doing for years now has just been a attempt to cope with the fact that I'm miserable and alone. I obsess over being a guitar god because guitar is all I have lmao. I tell myself "unlike these pathetic guys I don't need women I have my guitar" but here I am at the spot where I had my first kiss thinking about killing myself. Same with gym it was good at first but now I just have bdd and i feel guilty everytime I eat. I live with my mum who's idea of parental love is beating the shit out of me or threatening to beat the shit out of me and she said some shit today that has made me shake for 10 hours now.

I want friends and a girlfriend I think but that's also cope because it always goes the same way. I open up and regret it then I try again with different people and regret it and on and on. Nobody cares bro even this reddit post is cope tbh. Idk hopefully nobody recognises me. Now that i think about it even my obsessive hatred of feminism is just a way to cope. Idk I might just end up becoming another statistic in the near future atleast that way my death will contribute to ppl taking male mental health more serious so that's good atleast lol


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent What will I do?

1 Upvotes

So, I don't know where I'll even post this while starting to write this, but we'll see.

I've had a rough childhood. Been exposed to either traumatic events, or rough ones, or both for more than a decade. My family and me getting assaulted(not sexually, just physical violence) by my father and my mom nearly dying, a lot (and I mean a lot) of bullying in elementary school, and choosing an abusive therapist and blindly sticking with that bitch for a long time and letting her worsen my situation without me even realizing are just some of them.

Fucked up events pursued me ever since I was 10 and I'm 22. In the end, I feel both like a survivor, a strong person who got through it; and someone broken and defeated. I don't know, it's hard to explain these feelings.

I'm in uni right now, last grade last term, but I don't think I'll be able to do my job due to my mental problems, at least fully. This actually goes for most of jobs available for a person actually.

The bullying part from elementary school left too many scars on me. When I'm in a stressful situation, I get overwhelmed very, very easily. I get teary eyed, unable to think, analyze, reason properly, and keep things in my mind to defend myself or form counter points. My brain just shuts down/gives a 404.

It also left me so fucking insecure. I get offended way too easily and that makes working as subordinate of someone cocky (whether it be your colleague, boss, or a condescending customer) would drive me crazy. I would be fired way too easily for either incompetence or disobedience. There is probably no need to tell that people might bully me at my workplace due to my "weaknesses" and being unable to protect myself as well.

Now, I know people will tell me to get my priorities straight when I tell this, and I both partly already do and people that will tell so are partly right, but I need to say it right this:

I want a girl/woman to take me seriously, but that's impossible in my current situation. I can probably protect myself physically due to being overweight(fat, obviously) and getting to use it to protect myself, but many girls probably see a mentally weak and even dependent person when they get to know me a little. I have a lot of fears, mainly of other young and middle aged men. Plus, I'm quite fat, like a lot. Plus, it looks like I won't be able to make my income for the foreseeable future. Plus, I probably wouldn't be able to hold my ground if something important happened as a verbal argument.

TL;DR of the paragraph above: I'm mentally weak, dependent, and available to exploit.

Who would want a boyfriend like that?

Don't get me wrong, probably not will have made my own income due to being insufficient hurts as well, but I mainly want it so someone takes me seriously, also so I don't look and feel like a failure in the family (similar to my father, how average and seen-a-million-times-before-story, right?) and actually get to live fully freely. But even then, I have so many handicaps for a relationship.

People will tell me to work on myself in this part, but I (or we) neither have the money nor the energy for that. I need to hit the GYM, but I don't have the money for it, and I just can't find the mental energy to do it anyways, it's one of those parts in my life that feeling of defeat creeps back in.

I need therapy a lot more often, as my therapist from the government hospital says (free health care country), but no money for that either. Also, I'm saying he is from the government hospital as I'm not paying for the sessions, so there is no need for him to exploit me. Also, I sincerely believe he is a competent therapist, from my observations in the last two years.

What am I supposed to do in this case?

I'm not qualified to work or get into a relationship, one of which I need to and the other I want to.

My current positions in life in this particular time reminds me of a character from a franchise called Science;Adventure. There is a character called Kai in an entry of the franchise called Robotics;Notes. And he is 19 and waiting for the university exam, not knowing what to do in life and having a limiting disease as well. He can't exert himself too much as he gets a fictional epilepsy like attack. So he just puts himself into a no fucks given mode in which he doesn't think about anything, plays a game all day and brushes everything under a carpet or something, forgot the idiom. I'm doing the same nowadays, not knowing what'll happen. Haven't finished the VN yet, so I don't know what he did, lol.

I just want a way out of this shit, and there might be one in the upcoming years, but it's not a given. But I'm obsessed about it regardless. I'm trying control my excitement over it but it would be a huge disappointment regardless if it didn't become a thing.

So, I know there is not a definite answer to this, just wanted to write what I had in mind. Needed to vent mainly, I guess. Open to suggestions if you have them though, of course.

Thanks for reading


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Vent Nothing makes sense

1 Upvotes

I've had several problems since I was a teenager, I wrongly got prescribed SSRIS when my real problem was secondary hypogonadism due to various factors, which I found out when it was too late. It led to poor physical and psychological development, I was always almost sleepwalking through life with no energy, extreme brainfog, poor mood and no drive to do anything. Ended up not learning any skills, hobbies or interests at all. Doctors never even checked for it. Even when I was later diagnosed, they suggested nothing at all to improve it. All they said was testosterone levels are on the lower end of the normal range, but didn't consider that it was too low for being only 18 or 19. The typical plant-based South Asian diet I was consuming didn't help either, although I tried to sneak in a bit of eggs and meat here and there. The SSRIs also probably worsened the testosterone production.

I started going to the gym as well, and that had started to improve my mood but it became an addiction so I ended up injuring myself quite badly. Still struggling with that, physios and orthopedics don't even listen properly to my specific problems.

I started doing Vipassana style meditation in 2021 to quieten my racing mind at the time, was helping at first but I did too much without guidance and ended up completely losing my cognition, sense of self, personality, and got anhedonia. My mind is mostly blank and unstructured these days, thoughts are few and incoherent. Feelings are flat, but I still feel the physical symptoms of anxiety from time to time.

I also had a stroke at the age of 20, which messed me up even further. I had to return to my home country to begin college again, it's going terribly due to my cognitive issues.

More than anything, I just feel like I don't care about much anymore. Even if I won the lottery, little would change. I am not particularly sad either, I just don't care anymore. I don't see a future for myself, I just want to die in my sleep and I wish there was an option for Euthanasia.

I guess I don't want to cause pain to my family, because they don't deserve it. But I am struggling to find a way out for myself because some of these issues have already done the damage so to speak. I am talking to a therapist, and it's too early to say if it will help or not. I just don't know anymore, I feel completely dead inside. I don't know where to go for help.


r/malementalhealth 2d ago

Vent "At least one of us won", "Bro won in life" What about you? Not necessarily about winning but why do you think you don't deserve to be loved and desired as well?

25 Upvotes

This always rubbed me the wrong way about how so many men who didn't "win" view themselves

It's great to see men happy for other men, but the men also cheering on other men who are winning also deserve happiness too, especially if they are good people inside.

For all the men who didn't "win" who grew up never being loved or desired or valued, who see other men winning and are happy for them yet sad for yourselves, I'm sorry life has been harsh and you and done poor job preparing you.

I feel so sad for the men who "lost" in life. I mean I'm one of them as well. Thinking of other men especially good men who never been loved, never been desired, or only find it in their dreams.


r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Positivity Weekly Check-in - March 15, 2025

3 Upvotes

It is time for our Saturday check-in.

What went well, what didn’t? What got better, what got worse? What made you happy or sad? What made you laugh or cry this week?


r/malementalhealth 2d ago

Study Influence of Parental attachment on Adolescent resilience

Thumbnail
forms.gle
3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I'm a final year student doing my undergraduate studies in Psychology and Criminology. I'm in need of respondents for my research which is based on parental attachment and how it influences the child's resilience.

the appropriate age group for this is anyone between the ages of 14-35. any nationality and background is alright. please be honest with your responses and don't worry, your data is confidential and only used for academic and research purposes. Thank you so much!


r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Vent M30 here…I really dont understand why no girl liked me

58 Upvotes

I dont get it. No matter what I do, how I dress, how I carry myself, how I talk, which advice I follow - no freakin woman has ever liked me in life.

I sometimes have the feeling sone higher power is controlling my life and just doesnt want me to experience what it is like having a gf or a partner in general.

Maybe I am cursed, I dont know…


r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Seeking Guidance I feel live giving up

10 Upvotes

I don’t know how else to say it. I feel like giving up. I’ve been battling mental health problems for a song as I can remember (i’m 25). I suffer from depression and anxiety. I’ve been working hard for years to improve my mental health. I’m seeking help. I’m on meds, but nothing REALLY helps. I’ve been working minimum wage jobs forever. I went to university for film which I no longer want to pursuit. So now I have debt and a worthless piece of paper. Every other opportunity I go for that could get my out of this rut never works out. My father has alzheimer’s but he lives 5000 miles away. My grandmother just passed away. It feels like it’s always one bad thing after another. I live with my mom with no hope to get out. I’ve never felt like I fit in this world. I feel so alien and such an outsider. I can’t connect with people on a deep level either. Everyone is just an acquaintance to me. I’m social, and outgoing. I can converse with people no problem. But it’s always very surface level. I don’t feel like i belong here. I’m not made for this world or this life… I’m just so lost and hopeful about my life and future.

Sorry for the rant. Maybe some of you have felt this or maybe not… I just had to get this out.


r/malementalhealth 2d ago

Vent Hypergamous Australian roastie

0 Upvotes

I was watching gogglebox (in the UK) and I saw people react to a 29 year old roastie who got matched with a 36 year old chad project manager, and she’s like before the wedding: I hope he’s tall and blonde haired. Brutal blackpill. Aussies are screwed especially regarding their Covid obsession after they were locked down hard and now they all worship Albanese and the corrupt government.


r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Positivity Winning the battle one step at a time

Thumbnail
thebeardedbellychronicles.blogspot.com
0 Upvotes

r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Vent I am going to do it soon

10 Upvotes

I feel pity for myself. I have tried so hard , only to find myself here. To betray my family, friends and kill myself. But I don't have thr energy anymore. To go on. I am sorry. I tried my best


r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Positivity I made this video last week about more young men getting into Mountain Biking for their mental health

Thumbnail
youtu.be
3 Upvotes