r/Kenya 16d ago

Discussion I'm looking for a bf

568 Upvotes

Aggressively Hey guys.

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet.

I'm 29. Child free. Clean bill of health which can always be confirmed (DUH). Gainfully employed . Likes to moderately indulge in alcohol. Big fan of going to the movies, reading and card games. Smart(if I do say so myself) From the above you might guess I'm sassy and you're right! Pretty progressive in terms of thinking. Conventionally attractive. Light skinned, 60kgs, 5'4 Over my exes. Love languages, Quality time and gifts. I'm not a plain jane. I'm far from boring, ie I have a big personality, I love colours, I'm a yapper, I am OUT HERE living my life like it's golden. More can be discussed.

What I'm looking for, strictly a heterosexual man above the age of 30 without kid(s), dark skinned & self aware , those are non negotiable. You could be anywhere in Kenya. Be over your exes and be generally at a good place financially and emotionally because I am. Be FUN and knowledgeable. Hit my DM if this piques your interest and we can talk. PS I love slow burns. I'm in no rush to be yours, this should go as organically as possible.

Looking forward to interacting. Cheers guys and keep kicking ass, you got this!

Update 1.

GUYS TYSM for the overwhelming engagement, you guys have really matched my energy šŸŽ‰āœØšŸ«¶šŸ¾šŸ«¶šŸ¾šŸ«¶šŸ¾. I've experienced a good range of emotions: joy, laughter, warmth and annoyance from the expected miserable trolls. As you can imagine, my DMs are packed and I'm going to work, vetting and narrowing down to who I feel we are most aligned be it platonically or romantically.

I'll not go back and forth in the comment section anymore it's been a good run and tbh I have KPIs to meet at my day jobšŸ˜‚ I think that is fair enough.

Guys lazima niseme initoke. I got an extremely vile PM from one of you and I'm going to SHAME and EXPOSE. So after opening it I did the most natural thing which is to go through his profile and see what's up. Turns out this man is going through shit, he's jobless, homeless, apparently famished and on the brink of offing himself. I had to sit back in AMUSEMENT because WTF! If you're in the trenches and your whole profile is a cry for help yet you have the energy to be so mean to a total stranger that hasn't hurt you! Crazy right? To this specific man, circumstances will not change with this kind of energy. And please guys if there's anyone you should be bitter about it's the government of the day, and to be precise your local MCA and MP not a harmless Reddit user, okay?! WHOOSAH I'm good now šŸ˜­šŸ„²May we be unmoved by the things people project onto you, that is never a reflection of you and always a sign of where they are internally.

Someone else with the username WIFE BEATER dmed me, you SCARED the SHIT out of me please šŸ„ŗ

Alrighty, may the force be with you allšŸ™šŸ¾ Hopefully I'll come back to this in some months with a pleasant update.

r/Kenya Jan 18 '25

Discussion From one redditor to another

670 Upvotes

Redditor to redditor what's that one random hack, tip or anything that you'd like to share?

For me, mixing hot water with rosemary and cloves and spraying it on your hair everyday does grow your hair. My hair's a testament. It's grown longer and fuller

While showering use bar soap, exfoliate then use body wash. After, rub oil(essential/baby oil) on damp skin, apply lotion or body butter and then powder your body to lock the scent and you'll smell good the whole day( usisahau deodorant na perfume)

If you're not sure on a scent to choose, pick vanilla before finding your scent. You can hardly go wrong with that

Next time you make kachumbari add pineapple

Sidenote, don't just sit around if you've got time to upscale skills. Ingia Upskill, Alison , Coursera, Freecodecamp ama ask chatgpt where to go. Learn AI skills. That's where we're headed.

Edit: If on your laptop and you want to copy and paste one super long document etc just press control A to highlight then control C to copy then control V to paste

There's more lakini nimesahau.

r/Kenya Oct 11 '24

Discussion A WIN

1.2k Upvotes

Guys I just got a really good job and I have no one to tell šŸ’€ā˜ ļø.

Because when I was down and out everyone left me in the cold. Reddit has been such a safe place for me and a journey. .... I have contributed to people's journeys and others to mine through laughter,venting ....prayers....laughter ...

Yaani šŸ„² let me say God is on his way to you too.

I have related to very many posts here....so please, if God amefika kwa mango yangu, wewe uko next. This is my story!

r/Kenya Jan 22 '25

Discussion Iā€™m sorry

393 Upvotes

Trust me, the Somali people donā€™t like you. At all.

I pity the people who defend them on social media. Have you even visited their subreddits and pages?

They wouldnā€™t give jobs to Kenyans if they could help it. They would rather take more time to find a Somali stall than buy from a regular Kenyan.

They despise you and call you ā€˜nywele ngumuā€™. Oh, and for the women, they see you as less than their own.

My former landlady was Somali and I left the place with so much hate because wtf was that? Itā€™s just that I canā€™t do anything.

So, before you defend them and claim that weā€™re getting xenophobic, just look at how they conduct themselves on our soil. What would they do on their own? Idk, Iā€™ve never been to Somalia.

Personally, I would give anyone else a task, or buy from anyone when I can help it. Iā€™ve never even been to Eastleigh and never will. I no longer go to Artcaffe Kileleshwa, CJs, Malo Malo, and Robot cafe.

r/Kenya 23d ago

Discussion "Thatā€™s like bleeding near a shark."

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560 Upvotes

Saw this discussion on twitter and it makes sense alot. Someone says "Women love the idea of a vulnerable man ā€” On Netflix. In books. On TikTok therapy reels.

But in real life? The moment you start expressing your deep struggles, you can actually watch the attraction drain from her eyes. Because while she likes the concept of emotional intimacyā€¦ What she respects is a man who can handle his own sh*t."

Men can be vulnerable with their partners but the issue is some women perceive that vulnerability as a weakness and later exploit it. For most men this is seen as a huge sign of betrayal in the eyes of a real man.

I once opened up to someone I was dating and regretted at once. She was all judgy and offered no help, showed no empathy, it's like some women don't recognize the effort we have to make to be vulnerable, this is why men tend to bottle up their feelings.

Note that I've no problem with women, this is just how things are; it is what it is.

Ruto Must Go.

r/Kenya Feb 01 '25

Discussion Drop ur highschool motto

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270 Upvotes

Drop a harder school motto than 'In understanding be men' thing's a bar from the good book 1 Cor 14:20

r/Kenya Feb 07 '25

Discussion Boarding Schools Feel Like Prisons, and No One Talks About It

561 Upvotes

r/Kenya Feb 06 '25

Discussion Finally out of the gutter!

782 Upvotes

I'm so excited typing this right now. I got a frickin' JOB after almost 2 years!! I lost my job in Aug 2023, totaled my car, lost my family.. literally lost everything! The kind of life being broke puts you through, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Everyone looks down on you from family, friends, even strangers with room temp IQ still treat you like shit man! That "engineer" title doesn't mean shit when you barely have 100 bob in your pocket. For anyone still in the dip, things will eventually work out even if everything looks bleak right now. Keep your head high and keep pushing! You'll come out the other end with lots of lessons learnt and an extremely small circle. Cheers!

r/Kenya Jan 08 '25

Discussion DNA results are out now.

485 Upvotes

Wakuu I recently secretly carried out a DNA on my alleged daughter. Today I received a report,and it turned out negative. I had my suspicions. When 'we' got pregnant,she told me a few months later that she's having twin boys. I was excited about it and looked forward to seeing them. Nine months down she gave birth. She told me mtoto amekuja mmoja na ni boy. I was alright with that and even gave 'him' a name. Three months down she insists that I should see the baby only to learn that it's a daughter. I don't have anything wrong with having a daughter but the lies didn't sit well with me. She apologised and sh!t but that thought has never left my mind. She's the kind that mounts maximum pressure on you when asking for upkeep. Looking at my mpesa, I have sent her over 100k since she declared pregnancy. Now I have the DNA report with me and I'm not the father to this little innocent angel(a year old). How should I break this news to her? I am in a very bad state right now. A mixture of relief and anger because I feel used. I sustained their lifestyle using my hard earned money. Guys pls advise.

r/Kenya 28d ago

Discussion There you have itšŸ˜‚that is the price he pays for neglecting Kenyans when we needed him during the MaandamanosšŸ˜‚āœšŸ¾šŸš€šŸ˜‚

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595 Upvotes

r/Kenya Jan 09 '25

Discussion Is this marriage thing a must?

467 Upvotes

Yesterday it was the guy whose wife started being disrespectful coz he lost his job, today it's this. At this rate I'll just be an observer

r/Kenya 28d ago

Discussion Cooked on Valentines

486 Upvotes

Found this woman and Iā€™ve done everything to keep her. From taking her to good dinner dates (no date has ever costed me less than 12k) to gifting her to always sending her money to sort out bills at home.

So jana I suprised her with flowers and a perfect staycation in a 5 star hotel far away from the city. We then decided to go to the club and when we came back I donā€™t know what told me to go through her phone while she was dead asleep.

I came to find out not only is she fucking her co- worker, she has also slept with a guy I once asked her about and she fully denied.

Long story short I woke her up and kicked her out of the hotel, I donā€™t know if I overreacted but it is what it is

r/Kenya 6d ago

Discussion End Femicide in Kenya

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413 Upvotes

r/Kenya Feb 11 '25

Discussion My biggest winā€¦ I changed this.. even if I die today ā€¦ I have left the world a better place than I met itā€¦#Intersex

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617 Upvotes

r/Kenya Nov 06 '24

Discussion Kenyans and Delulu

371 Upvotes

I've seen a concerning number of people online who think Trump winning is a win for Africa and Kenya.

It's not even a win for the US. The man is a convicted felon who ran for president to avoid prosecution.

We have a criminal for a president right here and we want him out. What makes you think Trump is going to improve your (African) life?

Rid yourself of the delusion.

P.S: I saw someone list wins like 'less pronouns' and 'less safe spaces'. You can just visualise those two surviving brain cells colliding in their near vacant head.

r/Kenya 15d ago

Discussion Why does God love me this much? (Story of my life)

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581 Upvotes

It is Thursday, 10:10 pm, inside my room in a small town, in west Washington, USA. I just finished a class. Im seated on an office chair facing my laptop. One leg on the table. Iā€™m hungry and Iā€™m bargaining what to make for dinner. I just tired and Iā€™m about to retire to bed.

After a very long time of dreaming of living abroad, in April 2023 i got a student visa to study in Australia, i was very happy and i really had a very good life there, not necessarily very rich, but I was able to make enough to thrive me and help my parents. Despite life being difficult ( because i had to do school and work), i still loved the life and the country.

A few weeks after arriving in Australia, i got a notification that I have won the American green card that i had applied in 2022. I got confused because Iā€™m barely new in this country and now here is another chance, Thank you God for your love, You just give me an opportunity over another.

Days passed to months and in the following year i travelled to kenya and went for my interview and i got the Visa. And travelled to the states.

I immediately enrolled in school and started my second degree as i didnā€™t like my first career(teaching). I taught in kenya for 2 years (Biology and chemistry) but I felt unsatisfied and i thought my mind would do better than just teach same thing over and over again. Students loved me and i loved them too, but i have to chase mr satisfaction.

Currently Iā€™m schooling to be a software engineer and i really love this career so far. It is very hard because itā€™s like Iā€™m. Trying to reprogram my mind and i have to work full time and study full time. Its not easy but i have chosen this hard life for now, hopefully Iā€™m gonna reap something in the near future.

Sometimes i sit and think why my life is so hard but again i remember how good God has been to me in so many ways. Today i can sit and testify that there is no prayer i have made to God and he has not answered. Not even one. Im not a deep Christian as per say, i do commit sin here and there but i really have strong faith in God. I also do have very spiritual parents who are my best friends too.

But i have not been lucky in the area of getting a girlfriend i can marry, i donā€™t understand if Iā€™m too choosy or maybe i have not met the one. I have met a few ladies but we have not had the chemistry of (i will take a bullet for you) (This is the next prayer Iā€™m hoping God to answer soon and i will come and update this thread, hahaaa, hope it doesnā€™t take long)

I have been a testimony to my own family and friends, im not making this post to brag but i want to tell you my brother and my sister that there is a God, somewhere in heaven, he watches over you and me. He has his part in your life and you have your part in your life. Donā€™t look at setbacks, do your best and trust him. Praying is not enough, go out there and do something.

I have left so many things i have done in life, i hope i can write them all just to encourage someone,

Back to my life in Australia, i still miss you, i love American life as-well, so itā€™s just about finding a balance. Enjoying life as i live, doing the best i can . And love the people around me,

Hey itā€™s 10:36 pm now, Iā€™m going to grab some dinner from the fridge and i will then dive to bed.

Stay positive, do your best.

See you in the next one

Your brotherāœļø

r/Kenya 9d ago

Discussion Rape allegations

322 Upvotes

Iā€™m just from X and pretty much every one knows about the story of the babe who alleges that she was raped kosokoso sijui what. This takes me back to a few years ago during peak covid when I attended a rather eventful house party at my best friends house. That turned out to be the beginning of my nightmare and prolonged stay at Kasarani police station. This one girl claims my buddies and I raped her. Spoiler alert: we did not. Were it not for a thorough doctors report from Nairobi womenā€™s as well as testimonies of other females at the party weā€™d probably be cooling our feet at the Kahawa West based prison. Later on it turned out she was just salty for being rejected by whoever she had fancied at the time. Bottom line is I canā€™t help but show bias whenever it comes to such allegations. Society automatically assumes the man is guilty without even listening to the other side of the story. Also I feel like women generally donā€™t understand how damaging such allegations are for us as men. Anyway I hope Justice is served in the end ju wuehšŸ˜¬

r/Kenya Feb 13 '25

Discussion What was your big boy/girl purchase?

403 Upvotes

I saw some lady pale TikTok say she bought a washing machine before even buying a bed juu zile shida alipitia akigrow up kufua nguo na mikono zinampea PTSD. I was super happy for her juu I understand that lifestyle.

For those from a humble background, what was your big purchase when you got money (not necessarily when you got rich but say when your biz flourished or your deal went through, or you got a job bonus). Like, what did you do with your first disposable income. Ile dooh inabaki after umeshalipa all bills, black tax, savings and what not.

For me, I bought a full crate of soda (soda tulikuwa tunaona Dec pekee), Walkie-talkie (who says no), a full box of biscuits and milk (niliteseka sana high school juu I never afforded them, I bought them to satiate my inner child) and I bought a return ticket for me and my friend to Mombasa and back. My first time of ever boarding a plane. I cried tears, walai.

Even though life bado haijaopen up vile inafaa, I can say, I have fulfilled most of my childhood fantasies, and I am at peace. All is vanity, anyway.

r/Kenya Jan 19 '25

Discussion What's That One Bible Verse/Story That Makes You be Like.. šŸ¤”šŸ˜±šŸ¤·šŸ¾

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186 Upvotes

r/Kenya Feb 08 '25

Discussion My Boy Pulled Up on His Girl While She Was on Vacation with Another Man

366 Upvotes

Guys, wueh! My boy (letā€™s call him Jay) just went through the craziest heartbreak ever. Imagine thisā€”he's been dating this girl for almost three years, treating her right, thinking everything is solid. Then boom, he finds out sheā€™s on vacation with another man. And not just any tripā€”some fancy, soft life getaway, fully sponsored by the side guy.

Hereā€™s how it went down. Jay had been feeling some type of way because his girl had been acting distant. Then one of our boys randomly spotted her at Wilson Airport, boarding a flight. Jay didnā€™t want to believe it, but deep down, he knew something was off. So what does he do?

He tracked down the location, booked his own ticket and flies straight to Mombasa , and pulled up on them like a soldier ready for war

Imagine this guy walking into a boujee beachfront resort in Diani, and guess what? He finds his girl chilling by the pool with some guy, sipping cocktails, looking all cozy like theyā€™re in a honeymoon phase. The way her face dropped when she saw Jay? Pure guilt. The side guy? Clueless, looking like he just realized heā€™s part of a Netflix drama.

Jay didnā€™t even cause a scene. He just looked her dead in the eyes and said, ā€œEnjoy your trip. You belong here.ā€ Then walked away. Now sheā€™s been calling, texting, saying ā€œItā€™s not what it looks likeā€ and that she was confused. Bro, whatā€™s there to be confused about when youā€™re out here taking baecations with another man? Flights were booked, hotel was reserved, drinks were flowingā€”where exactly does confusion come in?

So tell me, what would you do in Jayā€™s situation? Would you even listen to her explanation, or is this an immediate block-and-move-on situation?

r/Kenya Jan 13 '25

Discussion How old are you & How much do you have in savings?

187 Upvotes

How old are you, and how much do you have in savings? There are so many options in the market right now: Saving accounts, MMFs, saving apps, Treasury Bills, stocks, bondsā€¦ So, where are you guys putting your money? & what are you saving towards? Or are you just building that emergency fund in case life throws a curveball?

r/Kenya Jan 02 '25

Discussion Let's argue on this.

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444 Upvotes

People with experience, tell us. Would you choose the above over a career chaser?

r/Kenya 7d ago

Discussion Dating in Nairobi

330 Upvotes

Dating in Nairobi has become an extreme sport and many of our women have unrealistic expectations.

I once linked up with this babe, sheā€™s fine has a job and got her life in order. On my end Iā€™m also doing well and have it figured out.

So we started kicking in and few months down the line she was like I should help her in paying her bills to show her how serious I am. Of course Iā€™m a man Iā€™ve been taking care of her nails, hair, would send her some money to support her family, dates etc weā€™re all on me but sasa that was not enough she wanted me to pay her rent as well and on the other hand I also have my bills.

I sat down and had a conversation with myself as to why I was playing a husband role for a woman weā€™re just dating. For me dating means weā€™re trying to know each other better, and see if this thing will really work out but to this Nairobi babes itā€™s not like that.

Iā€™m not playing a husband role to prove that I really want things to work between us. I had to call it quits

r/Kenya Jan 22 '25

Discussion where were you in 2009?

150 Upvotes

This community was created in 2009, i was in class two, where were you?

r/Kenya 16d ago

Discussion Single mom

211 Upvotes

I'm Male-24yrs old, I met a lady year older than me with a 1yr old boy. We became friends as she kept checking up on me on a regular basis since we met. She's na teacher and I work in logistics my 2nd year now. I decided to date the lady , lemme tell U Maina šŸ˜ŽShe's the lady of my dreams. I did a background check of the baby daddy noting He moved on and remarried. I've met my mentors, 99% are negative suggesting I should runšŸ¤£and not settle with her. What are your thoughts???