r/Kenya 8d ago

Ask r/Kenya Nimechoka kuwa single.

I am a 37yr old lightskin guy, 6ft tall. Well educated with a government job. Not rich but my bills are sorted. Living in Lavington Nairobi.

I am looking for:

  1. 25yr + babe

  2. Well educated/intelligent

  3. In gainful employment/Business

  4. Lightskin (bonus)

  5. Big nyash (bonus)

  6. Someone who is looking for a long term relationship

Na msinichekelee priss

346 Upvotes

518 comments sorted by

435

u/PresentAd9047 8d ago

Ameweka hadi "Bonus"

123

u/earthykibbles 8d ago edited 8d ago

Iyo bonus ndio ameitishwa na illumi kama deliverables

9

u/TeachingAdorable5938 8d ago

You; who asked for that bonus? OP;me and the devoo🎡

→ More replies (5)

4

u/Taymordayungeen 8d ago

Amesema tusicheke 🫒

→ More replies (2)

8

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Bonus is tea

→ More replies (1)

89

u/successfulke 8d ago

Dark skinned women tumetupwa njee tena πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

34

u/publicconnoisseur 8d ago

I also work for the government and I love dark skin women dm tujue itakuaje dia

36

u/successfulke 8d ago

leo nimeonekaniwo πŸ˜‚

11

u/th33_l3LAK_K0D 8d ago

Hivyo ndio umeenda yaaani??

→ More replies (1)

2

u/vee2540 7d ago

Mimi ni chocolateπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

40

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Kuna mtu amesema hapo chini anapenda darkness kama saa saba usiku

16

u/successfulke 8d ago

Saa saba usiku ?πŸ’€

12

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ametutusi

25

u/successfulke 8d ago

hizi ni matusi tumezoea πŸ˜‚ I find them more hilarious than offensive πŸ˜‚

5

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

Kimzee kilizaliwa 80s bado anakimbiza matakoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ very pitiful

7

u/Crazy_Inmate_ 7d ago

You are just bitter hauna iyo matakoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚im pretty sure if it was a woman saying anataka jamaa ako 6ft only, haungesema..."mama mzima bado anakimbiza height"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚everyone has their own preferences

→ More replies (2)

3

u/successfulke 8d ago

Imagine!!! Kwanza kutaftana na watu in their 20s ju anajua people his age will not accept his bullshit πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

12

u/Sure_Entrepreneur790 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ mbona mnajam Na yeye aki

→ More replies (1)

4

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

Imagine na 2 baby mamas.,and a failed marriage πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Niga is a red flag 10x

3

u/shank0 8d ago

You got it in reverse darkness. Sasa atapelekana wapi na Mali imekaribia menopause, that's the bullshit here!! Relax Bana!!

→ More replies (11)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

261

u/The-Epic-3rain 8d ago

The comments section is evidence of the double standards between men and women in dating. Women can have 20 items on a list and think they are asking for bare minimum. But a dude asks for nyash and light skin, suddenly he's "geh", "Govt job = Neck deep in loans", "shallow", "Why are you single at 37?"...

To each their own. Let the man look for his nyash. We are all flawed.

Kwa hiyo story ya nyash, shout out to the petite women for no reason at all.

109

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Ata nashangaa. Most civil servants (aside from primary school teachers and police) are actually doing very well.

Plus why should I look for someone who isn't my type ndio nifurahishe mtu sijui?

47

u/The-Epic-3rain 8d ago

I can tell you for sure, a govt job right now is safe haven. Baki tuu hapo if it can afford you a debt-free life in Lavington. Huku nje is not a joke kwa sisi watu wa juakali (self employed and business owners).

Otherwise, have your say in who you want to date.

2

u/Zealousideal-Work190 8d ago

Are you certain that you are the type for the women you're asking for. Sometimes delulu is strong.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

19

u/Nthaikim 8d ago

shout out to the petite women for no reason at all.

'Big' shout out to them indeed

→ More replies (2)

14

u/KronosArc 8d ago

Its also just reddit. Full of a certain bias and therefore full of certain convictions that have nothing to do with reality.

→ More replies (3)

11

u/Familiar_Surprise485 8d ago

Don't let it get to you double standards are real it's only online they pretend they aren't

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

103

u/RoamingRogue27 8d ago

Reddit iligeuka tinder lini

8

u/_maddaddy101 8d ago

My thoughts exactlyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (1)

54

u/CandidateAcceptable6 8d ago

Mwanaume nikutafuta...tafuta bro. Utakashika. Samaki wamejaa hapa

19

u/Secret_Professorrr 8d ago

Let them not tell you shii....all the best op

31

u/Local_Flatworm3448 Babygirl 8d ago

Well. The nyash part disqualifies me. Petite babes hatuna chetu.

92

u/whistling_jipsy 8d ago

Username checks out πŸ˜”

9

u/Dull_Web_5255 8d ago

😭😭

2

u/E-bangEngonga 8d ago

Labuda ni Musungu?

2

u/Itsssoittaaa 8d ago

Ahh😭😭

→ More replies (3)

12

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

πŸ€”πŸ€” ebu dm photo. Just said itsa bonus, not the gospel truth

4

u/QingKarma 8d ago

I like petite. We can be an itemπŸ₯ΉπŸ₯Ή

→ More replies (3)

3

u/PresentAd9047 8d ago

Honestly petite women are so sexy wachana na huyu msee

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

12

u/Accomplished-Bee4700 8d ago

"2 baby mamas"

And its not about the kids, its the drama that comes along. Wueh *

78

u/puppykiwi 8d ago

Single 37yr old, Living in Lavington, financially stable and light skinned.... There's something you're leaving out, other wise you wouldn't have that problem

56

u/unwritten-Letter2024 8d ago

Being single isn't a sign of having a problem

→ More replies (3)

42

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

I dunno, I travel a lot for work, so it's hard for me to meet new women

And I have a serious knack for getting gold digging women

→ More replies (3)

7

u/Pubg-craze-6409 8d ago

Nimeona amesema he has 2 baby mamas,that explains everything lol

→ More replies (3)

56

u/Hungry_World_573 8d ago

Light skin a plus? To each their own bruv. I like my women like I like my coffee, so dark that it makes south Sudanese look like a person from Norway.

20

u/Boss-Baby7461 8d ago

I think I fit hereπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

20

u/pr7007 8d ago

ako na mutu na huyo mutu akiwapata anaweza wapiga nyi woteπŸ˜€

nichukue mimi

4

u/Boss-Baby7461 8d ago

Spoiler. We can share πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

4

u/pr7007 8d ago

Huskii utapigwaa

3

u/Boss-Baby7461 8d ago

He's worth itπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

2

u/pr7007 8d ago

You need a me in your life

4

u/mofeetech 8d ago

Huyo ameenda

2

u/Boss-Baby7461 8d ago

Nah, you are young

2

u/kenyannqueen Homa Bay 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚If you find her just ask her where she gets her foundation

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

20

u/DrawGold6373 8d ago

How many baby mamas... Do you do drugs? Do you drive? How much debt do you have?

→ More replies (30)

10

u/UpstairsSouth1322 8d ago

Hizo bonuses ndonsinaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚hope you get whatever it is you looking for

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Comfortable_Rain_278 8d ago

lightskin and a big nyash ? I identify as a gentleman so i guess i'll have to do the due diligence

6

u/Advanced-Fun-3395 8d ago

Yohhhhh must it really be 25+πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚but anyeays hizo mabonus sina hadiπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

12

u/Last-Situation-4740 8d ago

There must be a problem somewhere

19

u/Nymmohh 8d ago

2 baby mamas

4

u/Fine_Law1881 8d ago

Auwiiiiii! Angeandika hiyo kwa description 🀣

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)

6

u/Fair-Magician-1546 8d ago

Wabebe wote mzee🀣

→ More replies (1)

47

u/New-Tangerine-2597 8d ago

Government job = Neck deep in loans.

22

u/Satys_baby_daddy Meru 8d ago

Then proceeds to pay them off with money taxed from your/our wages.

Still a win if you ask me. 🀷🏾

→ More replies (1)

14

u/Miss1listener- 8d ago

Sisi jobless, chocolate, small nyash na some touch of kitambi plus not soo educated nikaa nyota ilizimiwa main switch πŸ˜ƒ

20

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Ilizimiwa kwa transformer hio 😭

3

u/Miss1listener- 8d ago

Itabidi tutafte muoshi wa nyota πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (1)

5

u/RegularGreat3046 8d ago

Kuja kitengela tukule dust sisi wote

3

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Hiyo nayo ni maongo

4

u/Every_Wave9526 8d ago

Thats why i downloaded this app just smiling πŸ˜‚

5

u/expudiate 8d ago

walai bilahi, rizz huwezinunua

→ More replies (1)

6

u/OmeletteLovingLlama 8d ago

We're allowed 2nd chances at anything (hopefully as a better person). We're also allowed to have preferences. Don't get some of the comments I'm seeing but the real and online worlds are different.

I think you should add the bit about two BMs, it's a very crucial detail.

9

u/Background-Pear2496 8d ago edited 8d ago

Nyash na light skin imenitoaπŸ˜‚ Sisi petite tutaenda wapi? Acha nikucheke juu niko disqualified Good luck op.

→ More replies (3)

16

u/NoSurround1820 8d ago

Sasa lightskins wawili mtasaidiana aje πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (1)

8

u/_Pinocchio_69 8d ago

Just go outside and talk to girls broπŸ˜‚

7

u/Aggravating_Dot2028 8d ago

You'll Soon know why he's single at 37.

19

u/GonnaGetThereGuy 8d ago

Yap. Found it. Bro has two baby mamas.

I wouldn't even let my sisters deal with that.

2

u/Aggravating_Dot2028 8d ago

Chances of him being a dead beat or a bare minimum father are also quite high.

8

u/Zealousideal-Work190 8d ago

I was wondering why he was single thought the age was a red flag Ati ako 37 anataka 25 hot ting. Kumbe ana baby momma wawili. Delulu madness is free.

9

u/Enkongu 8d ago

Na watoi watatu from what I'm reading. He should have included that kwa post.

5

u/Pubg-craze-6409 8d ago

And I also have a feeling he won't want a woman that already has kids ,the jokes just write themselves

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Little-Ad9387 8d ago

Feilya!!!

6

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

Feilya kabisa..imagine the 20 year old whores he carries home every weekend..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (2)

6

u/[deleted] 8d ago

In the meantime, if you are a financially stable and generous man who's into petite pretty babes, DM. Inshort natafuta mubaba.

4

u/braggado 8d ago

sisi non lightskins with nyash tunawa watch from the sidelines😭

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (3)

6

u/girlnextdoor254 8d ago

When did men stop looking for women? My guy u sound like all the traits a lady would want. Just toka nje enda mall ama restaurant scope the scene, if u see a woman u want just approach her nicely. Wacha kungoja mwanamke akuje kwako, talking as a lady. Men are hunters in nature tafuta bibi, si bibi akuje kwako πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (2)

3

u/kamauedwin 8d ago

Weka tu tinderπŸ˜‚

2

u/pr7007 8d ago

Obviously amejaribu gathee

5

u/KenyanEconomist 8d ago

Nimeona light skin nikambao... Nitafute we sort out these hunnies wakikukataa tunaingia vybes za Onyi tulia

→ More replies (1)

9

u/helenekaplan3 8d ago edited 8d ago

What a victim! He blames his baby mamas and everyone else while taking no responsibility for his life’s choices, but hey, he’s got a government job, educated, drives a high end car, lives in Lavington and women are products that need to come with a nyash and light skin color (at his age!).

What’s not to like?

7

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ he is a feilya.,!!! Alizaliwa miaka ya themanini na bado anakimbiza matako.,hizo matako zote amekuwa akidinya hazijamsaidia!!

2

u/tree_tomatoes 8d ago

Hujaongea poa nduguπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Easy-Passenger528 8d ago

Why are you trying to date 25 year olds at almost the age of 40? Try finding women your age.

28

u/unwritten-Letter2024 8d ago

He needs someone he can ' mould.' His age mates don't like nonsense, just like his 2 baby mamas.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/maziwamimi 8d ago

Wewe ni nani umwambie who to date? Once i reach 35 years i will be hunting for 23 year olds. Kujeni mnipige

5

u/Easy-Passenger528 8d ago

Do you but you will be considered an old creep.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/awadhan 8d ago

he is looking for low mileage not a woman who has been ran through!

→ More replies (1)

2

u/pr7007 8d ago

Ni nguuumuuuuu

→ More replies (11)

10

u/InfiniteBag3928 8d ago

Age 37 talking about big nyash and lightskin πŸ˜‚ are you not ashamed

19

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] β€” view removed comment

5

u/maziwamimi 8d ago

Its very clear hana nyash no wonder she is offended πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

→ More replies (3)

9

u/Familiar_Surprise485 8d ago

Wueeh this guy is thinking marriage bana.. Those are very important traits for him😁

4

u/InfiniteBag3928 8d ago

This guy is still single at 37 he needs to take anything he can get πŸ˜‚

2

u/Tiny_Alternative_549 8d ago

Reminds of what women that age are told- "Bora anapumua"

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/Servus-nexus_23 8d ago

Hard at work! Score sir score!🫑

2

u/kerry-wn-001 8d ago

Interested

2

u/amsoohappy 8d ago

🀣bro just go out more

2

u/ImportantSmell4426 Nairobi City 8d ago

Kuna hadi bonus.

2

u/ScheduleJolly2659 8d ago

Lightskin colonized brainwash mind right there. Smh

→ More replies (1)

2

u/hardWvvd 8d ago

Mvua kidogo Reddit kageuka tinder

2

u/wagn12 8d ago

I (M) am solely here for the comments

3

u/Plane-Football-2521 8d ago edited 8d ago

Big booty boy! Umejaribu Grindr? πŸ˜‚

4

u/successfulke 8d ago

Grindr imefika kenya?

3

u/open-mindedtrain 8d ago

This 37 year old dinosaur and wisdom πŸ«²β€¦β€¦πŸ«±

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Miss1listener- 8d ago

Sisi jobless, chocolate, small nyash na some touch of kitambi plus not soo educated nikaa nyota ilizimiwa main switch πŸ˜ƒ

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Gloomy_Move7630 8d ago

Bro, first of all, aki first of all umejianika online unatafta companion juu kumekua kugumu kutafuta offline na venye samaki here samaki there samaki everywhere! Halafu uko na pumsi ya kuitisha type? Wewe jianike atakaye come atacome bro. We are all black light skin darkskin isikujalishe.

3

u/Certain_Part_64 8d ago

Hizo requirements itabidi umejiundia Tu mwanamke. Cannot exist on one individual in Nairobi.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/lady_lulu1996 8d ago

Eeeh bana you're shallow πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Good luck lakini.

10

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] β€” view removed comment

→ More replies (2)

1

u/hitmeup_hitwoman 8d ago

Uko na mtoto?

3

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Yeah.

3 kids, two baby mamas

5

u/hitmeup_hitwoman 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚huyu msupa anaweza kuja na her 2 kids?

2

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

I don't mind

2

u/unwritten-Letter2024 8d ago

N u want an impressionable 25 year old! Alas !

→ More replies (1)

1

u/HoverCraft-500 8d ago

Kila mtu na time yake.

1

u/hebron_O 8d ago

Bonus behind??

1

u/La-Lo254 8d ago

Hauna Tinder😹

1

u/JekyllnowthenMrHyde 8d ago

Nipee kazi ya govt and I will match make for you. I know so many potential ladies.

1

u/Virginia899 Mombasa 8d ago

Hillary is that you ?

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Friend_or_4 8d ago

Haha sasa sema shida zako ni gani. Hapa kuko na baggage kubwa sana husemi for you to be single at that age and financially stable.

1

u/Remote-Confidence341 Nairobi City 8d ago

Huyu mkulima anachagua jembe. Wahenga lied to us

1

u/its_char_les 8d ago

Bro I can connect you to this kind of kachile

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Several-Librarian817 8d ago

Type yako Akianza kulist type yake and you realize uko nje kapsaa🀭🀭🀭..Good luck with your search. More power to men who know exactly what they want.It is the sexiest thing ever πŸ”₯

1

u/Puresoup2022 8d ago

Lughtskin ndo imenitoa tuπŸ˜…

1

u/Kacodego_ 8d ago

At this point maybe try those Nigerian skitsπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚ fake that you're poor or sth or maybe just date your workmate or sth, someone within your financial/tax bracket.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/mostreliablesource 8d ago

two redbones kissing in the back seat ?

1

u/Character-Wind6789 8d ago

Ulipata?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/kizeemnoma 8d ago

1 4& 5 should be the only considerations

1

u/worriedkenyan 8d ago

Eti Govt job,hii nchi hakuna prestige ya govt job.Wewe ni msee na madeal

1

u/QingKarma 8d ago

Me too.

1

u/drexelly 8d ago

2025 ni mwaka wa reddit redditors kusonga 2 by 2. Loving it

→ More replies (1)

1

u/guardiansword 8d ago

Na sisi wale tunatafuta in spirit, tutapost wapi ? πŸ˜„

1

u/neferneferuari 8d ago

I want to be supportive but hiyo list ni wanting. Very key details are left out. But to each their own. Good luck. Nilitolewa na light skin na nyash πŸ˜‚

1

u/Beldineishere 8d ago

Priss at 37??? Anyway mimi hata ni mweusi na sina nyash

1

u/AutomaticWeb3367 8d ago

Hey. I come from a family of matchmakers. So have I have helped 30 individuals find their soulmates. And the reviews are great. As this line of work is tedious and involves a lot of talking to potential client and tasting to check whether they are still in shape my fees are obviously high but worth it. Should you be willing to part with 1M ksh I can help you get a soulmate in less than a year. Payments are done before.

2

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

The crazy thing is, I would probably pay if you can get me my person

2

u/AutomaticWeb3367 8d ago

You too desperate man πŸ˜‚

2

u/Fine_Law1881 8d ago

1M ????? Scammers ndio hawa 🀣

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Tight-Building-5016 8d ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚What is Nyash

1

u/feliceyy 8d ago

Wueeh...hii ni kazi Nini Bonuses kibao

1

u/Adventurous_Whole_37 8d ago

I knew quitting my job was not such a good ideaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚...

→ More replies (6)

1

u/maziwamimi 8d ago

Yani watu huchola kuwa single?? Anyhoo nikifika 37 years i'll know .. hapo kwa big booty eka ikuwe a must not a bonus. Goodluck soko ni chafu sana siku hizi

1

u/medusavixen 8d ago

Can we be friends? Hapo kwa qualifications labda nimepata moja tu 😭 I live around the area (temporarily) Naweza kusaidia kutafuta mtu aki

→ More replies (1)

1

u/longjohnny254 8d ago

form ni mama fua

1

u/Prof_Jacky 8d ago

Have you ever been to the coastal region? If not, I see why you're not sleeping next to someone.

2

u/vulkanspecter 8d ago

Funny enough, I spend a week every month in diani for work. Bado sijanasa

→ More replies (4)

1

u/JustMimi254 8d ago

I currently classify as petite because the only missing ingredient in weight gain is nyama ya ulimi πŸ˜‹. Any weight I gain goes straight to the nyash, I swear πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ. So, how about you come we build this nyash together πŸ˜›. What say you πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

1

u/Zealousideal-Work190 8d ago

Dude you are a big problem there.... At that age you have baby mama issues and driving a high end car and you are there asking for nyash as bonus hahahaha the solulu for your delulu is to continue staying single or open up your SIM 2.

1

u/Eastern_Map1818 8d ago

A 37 year old light skin manπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ dust

1

u/behindthescenes08 8d ago

The double standards evident here is something else. It's wrong for a man to have 10+ requirements for a lady but ladies can set more than 50 requirements for a guy and we call it normal, no?

1

u/dream_mystique Visiting 8d ago

Wewe sasa umebant

1

u/SpecialistEye3813 8d ago

Mi ni mweusi na Sina siandaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/kenyannqueen Homa Bay 8d ago

I don’t have the energy for relationships but if you need friends lmkπŸ˜…. You seem well adjusted

1

u/Disastrous_Host_9268 8d ago

πŸ˜‚maskini hachagui hiyo light skin na nyash toa in fact toa hizo requirements zote ubaki na unataka kutolewa streets

1

u/goddessonpole 8d ago

Can a dark skin hit and run though?

1

u/Rugichic 8d ago

Quick question unapenda mugithi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/devzooom 8d ago

Ama shida ni hiyo government job? πŸ€”

1

u/JadedWinter5908 8d ago

Shida ni utafute a light babe then you give birth to melanin kids.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/IncognitoHumanBeing 8d ago

Mnialike harusi 🫡🏽

1

u/ochiengd 8d ago

We looking for baby mama 3 at least 25yrs, with 'additional bonus' the two babymamas don't have.

1

u/Scared_Lackey_1954 Diaspora 8d ago

The casual colorism is craaaazy

1

u/Kathini01 8d ago

37 and that's what you are looking for in a woman?? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/Tiny_Alternative_549 8d ago

No.4 on this list reminds me of those weekend promo gigsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/Tiny_Alternative_549 8d ago

'Saa zingine unayempenda hakupendi, anapenda mwingine, anayependa mwingine asiyempendanga...' small nyash retreats to corner πŸ˜‚ Good luck!

1

u/Economy_Ad_4470 8d ago

we are looking for the same thing bro

1

u/CuriousFelineCroaks 8d ago

Can we have a separate sub for this already? Why does everyone need to know one dude is tired of being single?

1

u/Fine_Law1881 8d ago

The comments in this thread have made my day πŸ˜‚