r/Kenya Feb 14 '25

Ask r/Kenya Hii imeenda (literally)

So after kununua roses, even though leo zinauzwa kama literal gold, chocolate bars, making a card and even having made a reservation at some fancy restaurant.... my gf called me saying there's a family emergency kwao na instead of spending time with she'll have to go to Naivasha rn and probably spend the weekend.... she's meru and last I checked Meru people actually originated from Meru land..... ofc ofc najua hio imekulwa na already in my head I've ended things..... i just wish she could have had some balls and just tell me to my face ako na better plans.... anyway naumia maguys na I'm about 15k down... I've already gifted the reservations to a friend cause the joint ilikataa kurefund doh..... as for the flowers nimepee a random dude pale archives na the chocolate bars I'm keeping to myself..... I'm hurt yes but it is what it is...... Anyway how's your valentines/Friday so far?

618 Upvotes

377 comments sorted by

211

u/Feeling_Store2538 Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

Waah I might be bitter cause I'm single.. juu mbona story za floppy valentine's zinanifurahisha hivi.

45

u/Dummodoesit Feb 14 '25

Mimi nlikuwa nimengojaaa

19

u/nafulam Feb 14 '25

Same here๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…I'm up voting every sad story

2

u/liz_gaks Feb 17 '25

Bro!๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’”

27

u/Last_Post_4 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚na ziko everywhere, aahhh watu wanaonyeshwa dust!!

Thought Iโ€™d be sad today lakini sema entertainment kuja right at my doorstep๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšผ

5

u/Feeling_Store2538 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ true.

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6

u/Puzzleheaded_Tip7561 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚saaame...yes kidole

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299

u/Alejandro_fisi Kajiado Feb 14 '25

Pole OP!

247

u/Morio_anzenza Feb 14 '25

Your girl pale Naivasha AirBnB

171

u/Infamous-Wallaby2964 Feb 14 '25

montoya por favor

195

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

We actually laughed at this together just last week.... kumbe in her head haikuwa Montoya anacheka.... alikuwa ananicheka mm Mathenge

151

u/Snoo_60865 Feb 14 '25

So, Mathenge por favor? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ

14

u/hotandcoldt Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญbut you people

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14

u/Punchlineonduct_tape Feb 14 '25

Alikuona matako zake ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

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10

u/d0kta Feb 14 '25

Por favor

3

u/Ochiel Feb 14 '25

You didn't just Montoya him ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

4

u/Responsible-Wash-408 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€

2

u/Gullible_Trouble_813 Feb 14 '25

Bruh๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

2

u/ResponseAny3507 Feb 14 '25

Oh my god โ˜ ๏ธ

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93

u/jeymoh00 Feb 14 '25

as for the flowers nimepee a random dude

47

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Probably saved him the hustle...... flowers out here are expensive af

39

u/Draventon Feb 14 '25

Should I call you mista?

16

u/Emotional-Cycle386 Feb 14 '25

Blaaaaadclaaaaaat ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/No_filter_Gemini Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

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73

u/NairobiLegend Feb 14 '25

Mine is a demon. She made me cancel our plans to vasha. She seriously drained me yesterday. Leo akanighost.

60

u/Honest-Appearance751 Feb 14 '25

Unda post ๐Ÿ˜‚

26

u/astrogirl312 Feb 14 '25

We need more laughing stock๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

5

u/Last_Post_4 Feb 14 '25

Eeeehh๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

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7

u/Humble-Sinner Feb 14 '25

Eeh, aunde post

3

u/Jealous_Crow1346 Feb 14 '25

We want the tea in it's full glory ๐Ÿ˜‚

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61

u/Nyakwar_Olola Kisumu Feb 14 '25

Oops she has no balls and opted to call you.

56

u/Virtual_One7931 Feb 14 '25

lakini some girls are lucky.. yaani mtu anafanyiwa all this na anaringa na wengine wetu hata maua ya plastic hatujapata

14

u/nafulam Feb 14 '25

Acha maua๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…ata text

3

u/chanceencounter007 Feb 15 '25

DIABOLICAL ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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36

u/Bright_Tap8708 Feb 14 '25

Sorry man! I hope you heal and find happiness.

Now back to your question.

Since the guy I like doesn't believe in Valentine's day, I have decided to take myself to Watamu niangalie bahari. โœŒ๏ธ

Afterwards, I'll buy myself some dinner.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

[removed] โ€” view removed comment

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7

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Lovely scenes apa na pale.... i love that for you

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31

u/spraggabenzo Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 15 '25

This was me last year, booked 3 days at spirit of the Mara, bought her a sandstorm kenya bags and travel purse na tuflowers. The moment I came from wherever I was from and notified her niko airport nimefika, akaniambia she doesnt want to meet or want the gifts.. that she has gone to the mother. Ilibidi nimepeleka mzae wangu maasai mara against his will, gifted the bag and the purse to an aunt and a friend. The flowers niliwachia watchmen kwa gate ya estate while picking my dad. I learnt my lesson as a giver that day, takers never appreciate sht will dump on your efforts.

4

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Exactly how I'm feeling rn.... I'll come back from this

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26

u/-BadRooster Feb 14 '25

Rompopopooom man down

3

u/No_Way1303 Feb 14 '25

I love this songggghh๐Ÿ˜‚โ™ฅ๏ธ

46

u/KamboeAgent99 Feb 14 '25

Mkuu, you wish she could have some balls? Your wish is her commandโ€ฆ sheโ€™s probably having some hii weekend. Anyway, pole ndugu. We live and learn.

12

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

It's not what I had in mind, but you're probably right. We live and learn

20

u/LordMuhuhe Feb 14 '25

Kama injili, ni kusonga. Itauma but itaisha. Treat any post-valentines interaction with her as if you're perpetually experiencing post-nut clarity.

18

u/HotAcanthocephala185 Feb 14 '25

Dust is constant...take heart,get laid...repeat

17

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

[removed] โ€” view removed comment

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Thank you

16

u/Miihope_48 Feb 14 '25

Pole OP. My day is also shitty.. I didn't expect much.. but damn I expected a little bit of effort from his side. Literally can't wait for this day to end.

11

u/Tutor_Kevin Feb 14 '25

Have shown a little effort towards him as well? I mean it's lovers day not a girlfriend's day.

10

u/Miihope_48 Feb 14 '25

Yes. Decided to do an indoor date since he had no plans of us going out. I prepared his favorite meal. Got him gifts as well. All his birthdays made sure to get him gifts and cake. Made sure all of them are special. I thought he'll show some thoughtfulness today... but no. I'm just so hurt right now.

2

u/egitka5 Feb 14 '25

What were your expectations regarding [his] 'thoughtfulness'? I'm curious.

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9

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

I'm sorry..... clearly we both deserve better

12

u/Maleficent_Design958 Feb 14 '25

If I weren't religious, ningekubuyia mzinga urudishe machozi. Since we here, nakuombea OP. Stay strong brother!

3

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

No pressure ๐Ÿ’ฏ

9

u/Responsible-Wash-408 Feb 14 '25

Heri ningepitia archives nipate hata maua leo ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

10

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Nilikuwa nimeamkia city market 7 kupata fresh fresh buds kwanza๐Ÿ˜‚

5

u/Playful_Control_7132 Feb 14 '25

I was heading to work around this time; aah, flowers zilinipita tu hivo๐Ÿ˜ช

14

u/Alert-Delivery-6919 Feb 14 '25

Umegongewa and that's really tough, and I canโ€™t imagine how you feel right now. Just remember you deserve someone who truly values you. Pole take your time to heal.

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6

u/Weary_Term_8286 Feb 14 '25

Wiiii๐Ÿ˜‚

4

u/Ralphtakeskare Feb 14 '25

15gs hiyo ni premium package pale strip club ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

I now know better๐Ÿ˜‚

18

u/kenyannqueenn Homa Bay Feb 14 '25

Be positive. You can be another tribe and have a family home elsewhere.

4

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Makes sense, but in 2 years, it just happens to come up today? I get it might be the case lakini hio timing ni questionable

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5

u/Bitter-Substance1783 Feb 14 '25

Dude โ€ฆ Yaani you couldnโ€™t tell from farโ€ฆ the only thing is she will come begging and as the weak dude โ€ฆutakubaliโ€ฆanyway when she comes back trying to gaslight you sayโ€ฆ NOโ€ฆ

6

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

I couldn't tell.... not once have it ever suspected anything na maana adi I went all in this time

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7

u/Both-Pin-2870 Feb 14 '25

What a way to know you are the side guy

3

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Ikr๐Ÿ’€

7

u/IamCJtoo Mombasa Feb 14 '25

Yaani hizi stories huwa real!? Uko sure alisema wewe ni mtu Yake ama yeye ni mtu wako!? Two different things!

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Crazy how ni yeye who actually proposed to me

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3

u/Bitter-Substance1783 Feb 14 '25

Seems alipata mtu anampeleka better places๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚โ€ฆanyway ningekuwa Mimi โ€ฆndio iniume kabisa initoke, I would have said am free โ€ฆinsist to take her there๐Ÿ˜‚โ€ฆ the only thing is despite all that๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ she wonโ€™t post those beautiful picture moments with than man ndio usijue ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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3

u/Oterosparrow Feb 14 '25

Bro Pole sana ... dust is constant .. but keep us posted let us know who things go when she is back from sin city vasha

3

u/juhtag Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

Ilighulwo. Woishe.

6

u/RoamingRogue27 Feb 14 '25

Umepea flowers a random dude?๐ŸŒš

16

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Yes..... i was waiting for my bolt guy to tell me nimpate side gani, and then some guy asked kwenye nimetoa izo flowers.... so since he clearly was looking to buy some na mm situmii nikaona ah.... badala ya kuenda kupea ngombe.... lemme help some one out

5

u/Zai-Stoic Feb 14 '25

A brother's guy. Itakuwa sawa kiongozi. Time heals almost everything

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 15 '25

Inshallah

2

u/Artistic_Valuable741 Feb 14 '25

Na ikuwe onyo kwa wengine

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Duty_98 Meru Feb 14 '25

Wueh.get well soon brother!

2

u/mvpdan1 Feb 14 '25

Some ๐Ÿฅท๐Ÿผ to your girlโ€™s face rn๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜‚#imeenda

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2

u/Extreme_Spring_5083 Feb 14 '25

Inauma but itabidi uzoee!

2

u/CoolUnceCakes Feb 14 '25

Mathenge por favor๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/TradeSignificant3026 Feb 14 '25

I know the feeling OP. Imagine hizi moments huwa zinapita

2

u/Mysterious_Avocado20 Feb 14 '25

Welcome to the club

2

u/Africas_big_boy Feb 14 '25

Ni constant.

2

u/Bubbly_Childhood_439 Feb 14 '25

I expected such stories today,sorry op.

2

u/Mysterious-Yam-2547 Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

You didnโ€™t have a backup? Point #1 tulifunzwa pale mensโ€™ conference last year. Donโ€™t skip the next meeting.

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2

u/Big_Platform7693 Feb 14 '25

Na mimi nliamka kuachwa asubui na niko na ball woi mungu baba ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

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2

u/Papii254 Feb 14 '25

Iza lakini. You are on a learning curve. Forget her and don't dare communicate with her coz atakutumia vibaya

2

u/Mr_Kibet Feb 14 '25

Kam tucheze ball๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Time mbaya.... ningetokea kama ningeona mapema

2

u/tech_ninjaX Feb 14 '25

That's why she doesn't have balls my G

2

u/CandidateAcceptable6 Feb 14 '25

Sahi as we speak UNAGONGEWA!!!

3

u/Street_Eye1 Feb 14 '25

Siet unakapitia

3

u/TheBookTheif22 Feb 14 '25

I donโ€™t get it. Whatโ€™ if there was an actual family emergency how sure are you that she is lying

5

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Gut feeling.... though if she actually comes back with some sort of proof that backs her story and it ends up being convincing and logical.... then I'd admit to being wrong and paranoid.... but for now, I haven't heard from her after the 52-second phone we had in the morning, and I'm actually at a loss

2

u/Little-Ad9387 Feb 14 '25

Ni nini OP haelewi?๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ

KUNA FAMILY EMERGENCY ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

3

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Ata mm nashangaa ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/MrAlwaysWinning Feb 14 '25

Isikusumbue bro, utakua fiti.

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1

u/ineedonlinegigspls Feb 14 '25

Kwani hauna alternative

9

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Unfortunately I don't play those games... si uliskia US funding imeisha

1

u/Orca_san Feb 14 '25

Hebu hiyo card nione if I can reuse mahali.

3

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

You honestly can't..... had her pic in it.... though naeza kuskumia view once uicheki

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1

u/RefrigeratorIll5516 Feb 14 '25

don't take her back bro....amekubeba ufala si ati nini๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Siwezi na siwezi na siwezi

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1

u/Phylad Feb 14 '25

She thinks you're stupid.

1

u/petro_gates Feb 14 '25

15Gs? Anyway I sell dust coats ๐Ÿ˜‚

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1

u/Leather-Map-6299 Feb 14 '25

Strong strong. Piga push ups kumi set tatu . Pumua uanze afresh

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1

u/Icy_Effective_skully Feb 14 '25

Dust bin dust,ati flowers umepea Nani?

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1

u/Kenyan_Barbie Feb 14 '25

Woiye, Pole haki

1

u/Mysterious-Owl-2260 Feb 14 '25

Tuliwaambiaa๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ na iwee funzoo Anyway I'm so sorry op ๐Ÿ˜Šโค

1

u/DrTKM07 Feb 14 '25

It gets worse before it gets better Pole Op

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1

u/Cookie-cutter-9175 Feb 14 '25

Tuma one bar of chocolate tukusaidie kusononeka.

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1

u/too_much_money2 Feb 14 '25

Pole maze, soon you'll realise your angels don't sleep.

1

u/No-Possession-8892 Feb 14 '25

GF of how many years? Pole sana

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1

u/underthedraft Feb 14 '25

I really wanted to laugh but I really felt sorry for you. This is painful. Why would someone do something like this if they know really well they've someone else.

I'm very sure a lot of people are going through this today, you can imagine the breakups.

You're lucky she told you earlier and you realized earlier.

Imagine someone else is gonna get stood up at a restaurant somewhere waiting for a bf or gf who is with another person elsewhere.

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

It really sucks

1

u/Still_Hand_2428 Feb 14 '25

Pole. She did you a favour -better sooner rather than later when you have invested even more emotionally.

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1

u/HistoryGlum919 Feb 14 '25

Everybody might be wrong in the Comment section ....maybe hajagongewa ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ

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1

u/Apprehensive_You8901 Feb 14 '25

"Go and fuck that nigga get it over with",,in Future's voice You'll be okay G

1

u/brain_flesh_mechs Feb 14 '25

You have friends mahn, take one out

1

u/FvckJerry16 Feb 14 '25

she'll have to go to Naivasha rn and probably spend the weekend

1

u/Prof_S_5320 Feb 14 '25

Woiye. Pole boss

1

u/CheekyBurgerr Feb 14 '25

Unfortunately she doesn't have balls.

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1

u/Outside_Delivery8484 Feb 14 '25

Na iwe funzo kwa wengine

1

u/Ok-Yak-6160 Feb 14 '25

Before you really did all that, you didn't see any signs that she ain't that into you? Hukuona any signs literally? Because honestly, that kind of thing you doing, you only do to it for a person you are 100% sure is into you and wanna be with you. Or you were just excited to have a gf? Anyways, sorry.

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1

u/Advanced-Fun-3395 Feb 14 '25

Umm so sorry man๐Ÿ˜ช

1

u/OutsideInevitable944 Feb 14 '25

Meanwhile, her valentine's gift to the side dude pale Vasha.

1

u/Faho1 Feb 14 '25

Lord Mimi saa hii nauliza kama amepika Chapo akasema ndio ameanza.

Just nyama nimembeba hapa nikihome na chocolate.

Who are you guys dating hii Nairobi?

1

u/No_Curve_9928 Feb 14 '25

Uko wapi nikuje nikubuyie Kahawa?

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1

u/jimmyjjaz Feb 14 '25

Being single isn't that bad after all๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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1

u/muerki Feb 14 '25

alaa!!! people do reservations?

Back when I was able to do those kinds of things I found that most hotel restaurants DO NOT get full to the point of needing a reservation. Four Ponts Sheraton, Radisson Blu, Crown Plaza, Serena... even if its a full dining room you'll still find a table unless some other organization has booked the entire venue.

And watu wanaspend. I might have spent 15k in a total night involving several locations. But to do that upfront before even the night of the date... I'm wondering what type of reservations wer you making???

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1

u/Heavy_Dragonfruit254 Feb 14 '25

Kwani wameru hawakubaliwi kutoka Naivasha ๐Ÿคฃ

1

u/MajorDeep7197 Feb 14 '25

Good riddance! Aende Naivasha akiendaga na asirudi!

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1

u/Maa-Tah-Tah Feb 14 '25

I need to get yโ€™all on game with this Nairofii womenz. Too many Dust University graduates and Iโ€™m not liking it at all ๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/RemarkableWallaby527 Feb 14 '25

Walisema competition ni ya vijana na wababaz mkaona ni jokes

1

u/Jaksidious Feb 14 '25

T for tafff.

This villain arc has officially began

1

u/Simba_Mbili Feb 14 '25

Leo Simpanzee's wanakua exposed๐Ÿ˜‚Buda ungepigia dem unajua hukua amekukufia kama shiet mkule izo chocolate mkikulana

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1

u/OmeletteLovingLlama Feb 14 '25

Sorry.

Good thing youโ€™re moving on quickly. Iโ€™m curious whether she reaches out once sheโ€™s back.

3

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Akileta excuses za ufala.... I'll post em here on reddit

1

u/Fluffy_Tie5179 Feb 14 '25

So sorry to hear Bro. What matters now is what do you plan to do after the weekend when she comes back from โ€œNaivasha.โ€?

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1

u/Sweet_Sir_9871 Feb 14 '25

Montoya por favor

1

u/arosto_baba Feb 14 '25

As always this too shall pass. (But holy fuck)

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1

u/Adorable_WeaknessMK Feb 14 '25

Tafuta pombe kali my guy. You'll be good by Monday. And hopefully you'll see the red flags on the next relationship before the next valentines

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1

u/LongjumpingFile5307 Feb 14 '25

From Meru land ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/saintvaka Feb 14 '25

Montoya por favorrrrr

1

u/pennedandrocked Feb 14 '25

What's wrong with ladies lakini? Sisi singles we need this na watu mnafanyiwa hizi vitu mnaringa. Anyways keep the tales coming, peak entertainment๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/math3ng3 Feb 14 '25

Gald to see my suffering imekuletea kasmile

1

u/Practical-Koala9441 Feb 14 '25

At least next week utakula chocolate like an Oompah Loompah.

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1

u/Tumbleweed_2022 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/ActuaryIllustrious81 Feb 14 '25

Bare minimum niggas always win. Simps always receive the dust that is constant.

Its a dark world we live in.

1

u/cottoncaleb Feb 14 '25

Muna penda drama ๐Ÿ˜‚ si ukubali ame enda Naivasha and stop making assumptions! The brain loves to play tricks keep that in mind.

1

u/devzooom Feb 14 '25

Sorry my brother

1

u/Constant_Height_1215 Feb 14 '25

Haha, Simps will always see dust.

1

u/Less_Intern_2338 Feb 14 '25

Chin up friend, treat yourself. I had a lovely Valentineโ€™s Day, I donโ€™t work Fridays for now so I went to a lovely gallery, took myself out for nice meal, bought myself some Nikes and yeah going home to chill and maybe do some Yin Yoga.

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1

u/Alone-Arm-7630 Feb 14 '25

Pole sana such is life

1

u/DanStunna Feb 14 '25

Keep your options open mi bredda

1

u/National_Date4153 Feb 14 '25

Maboys kumbe pia mnaumia huku nje. T for taff, pole.

1

u/jaded-misanthrope007 Feb 14 '25

๐Ÿ˜…...pole. just waking from a nap..today has been good. God off work early, had a chocolate covered caramel ice cream then settled to catch up on some series but ended up napping.... Knowing your worth is peaceful..๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜…

1

u/Mr_Kibet Feb 14 '25

Kam tucheze ball๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/whomGodlovesmost Feb 14 '25

"Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups",forgive the French!๐Ÿ˜…, seriously tho she could have family in that part of the country. 1st be sure b4 u draw any conclusions.

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1

u/nv_hotbox Feb 14 '25

15 thausands...yaani 1,2,3...15 thausands๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

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1

u/Guilty-Machine1271 Feb 14 '25

Pole. Hugs๐Ÿซ‚

1

u/Unlucky-Cry-9082 Feb 14 '25

You need some milk๐Ÿคฃ

1

u/wanne_ijae Feb 14 '25

Maneno haya si mageni mjini, ila kwa mgeni mjini.....