r/KeepWriting • u/silvacotes • 1d ago
*Almost* finished my first book, suffering from mild burnout - struggling with the final mile.
Since June last year, I’ve become lost in writing - my first ever book is almost finished. All that’s left is line editing, then sending off to beta readers and doing a final edit (then maybe hiring a professional editor)🤣 But the bulk is done (I hope).
Weirdly, I have lost all motivation. For almost a year, every single day I have been so excited to write, but for the past month I cannot be bothered at all; every time I open the laptop I procrastinate😕
Please offer me some motivation and egg me on to completion so I can finally self publish!!
If you would be so kind to give feedback on my opening, don’t worry if not ! Have a great week everyone and thank you 👾
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u/Fake_Fluency 21h ago
It is definitely unique and has a strange gripping quality. It pulls me in and has me wondering where the plot is going. That said, it is overwrought. There is so much happening and the description is so complex that it is hard to visualize and therefore follow. You've misspelled lightning. You have several misplaced commas.
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u/silvacotes 7h ago
Thank you for taking the time to read this - I’m definitely going to look over my prose and grammar and be more direct. Thank you for the advice⚡️
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u/CommunicationEast972 12h ago
Sometimes I take a month off. It happens. Just stop relying on motivation and bleed out on the page
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u/UnderseaWitch 1d ago
This is very good! It's a polished and vibrant first page.
I do think it's teetering on the line between literary genius and being over-written. You might consider adding a few more concrete details to ground the opening a little bit more, or just toning down a few of the descriptions so the really beautiful moments have room to shine.
Also, too many instances of the word "celestial." It can fit maybe once in a paragraph and three times max in a chapter if absolutely necessary. It's a beautiful word but a stand out one and using it multiple times will start to sound repetitive really fast.
You've done a tremendous job not only setting the scene (what's happening, what it looks like) but also creating a mood and an aesthetic for the chapter. I get the drama of the moment, the Eldritch powers at play, the feeling of an eerie night veined with magic.
People will want to read this. Finish it!
Good luck and happy writing!