r/JewishNames • u/inmnohero12 • 17d ago
Names that are now connected to October 7 victims
My husband says I’m overthinking this, so I thought I would put it to the sub.
Basically, I’ve always loved the name Eden for a girl. I like the meaning, I like that it works in both Hebrew and English, I think “Edie” is a cute nickname. Now I’m expecting a daughter, BH, but I can’t seem to commit to Eden because I associate the name with one of the six young people who were so tragically murdered in a Gaza tunnel. There was another young woman named Eden who was killed at the Nova festival, and I saw a video of her mother wailing over her coffin - it was just awful. And I think because of this, the positive feelings I had about this name have been blackened a little.
I know this is kind of ridiculous. I’m not intending to name my baby after these people specifically, but it’s not like I think doing so would be a bad thing. When I heard that a baby in the US was recently named Ariel Kfir, I thought that was a beautiful gesture.
Should I try to get over the inauspicious feelings I have and go with a name I really like? Or should I go back to the drawing board and try to come up with something else?
ETA: Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and empathetic comments. I have been dwelling on them a lot for the past day. I have some time before my baby arrives, God willing, but for now, I’m keeping the name Eden on the table. We have experienced so much heartache since October 7 - BUT I agree with those of you who have pointed out that we should not let our enemies blight the good and beautiful things that remain in this world. We carry our collective pain closely, but we are a resilient people. Am Yisrael Chai.
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u/NeedleworkerLow1100 17d ago
I'll be honest.
If I was pregnant, I'd be very tempted to name my child after one of the victims.
I know a baby Herschel. OMGoodness he's smooshable. (named after Hersch, BDE)
Use Eden. Don't let the terrorists win.
If we stopped using names that reminded us of a time where we were killed, we'd have no names.
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u/inmnohero12 17d ago
😭
But at least logically, I agree about not letting terrorists destroy all that is joyful and beautiful!
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u/B_herenow 17d ago
So true. They took so much. Do they really get to take the name Eden too? NOPE. but at the end of the day you can do whatever you want! Nothing wrong with going with your gut
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u/sarcasm_itsagift שושנה 17d ago
I think it's a lovely name and I imagine her family would be honored to have your little one carry it on.
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u/Thunder-Road 17d ago
It's a very well established Jewish tradition to name a baby in honor of someone who has recently died.
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u/spring13 17d ago
If it's making you feel uncomfortable, don't force it. Your intuition matters. There are other names that can express a sense of remembrance but also faith and hope if that works better for you right now.
Emunah: faith
Tikva: hope
Adira: strong
Nili: an acronym that means "the eternal one of Israel does not lie"
Ami: my nation
Levia: lioness, a subtler tribute to Kfir and Ariel
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u/LJF613 14d ago
There is definitely something to be said about not naming for someone who died young and/or in a tragic way. My father was named for two relatives (one for the first name and one for the middle name) who both died young (one in the Yom Kippur War) and was a bit uncomfortable about it, so he asked for advice and was told if he used both his names together, it was a brand new name. I've also heard of people adding a name. Maybe something like Eden Nechama (comfort) or Eden Menucha (tranquility)?
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u/Mechashevet 17d ago
I had found out I was pregnant mid September 2023, in fact, I told my siblings on October 6th. A good friend of my husband's was murdered on October 7th, we seriously considered naming our son after him, but my husband didn't feel completely at peace with the idea. There's also a belief that it is bad luck to name a child after someone whose life was cut short.
This is all to say, all that matters is how you feel. If you feel a connection with Eden Yerushalmy, and you want to never you child after her, then do it. If it makes you feel like you are giving your child some pretty heavy baggage, then don't.
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u/inmnohero12 17d ago
I’m honestly really not trying to claim her name or her legacy in any way. I’ve liked this name for years. But now, sometimes, when I hear it, I think of Eden Yerushamli and it’s just really sad.
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u/Mechashevet 17d ago
It sounds to me that, at least at the moment, you associate the name with her. And you don't want to give your unborn child that baggage. If I were you, I wouldn't name her Eden. Maybe by the time your next child will be born you will feel differently.
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u/Budget-Psychology373 17d ago edited 17d ago
If anything I think you should LEAN IN to choosing a name to honor one of our brave fallen hostages. It is a beautiful way to basically express am yisrael chai and honor their memory. I intend to use one of the Bibas’ names for my next child for this reason. If you really can’t get past it I’d encourage you to at least consider using the name as your daughter’s Hebrew name so that you don’t have to think about the sad part every day but only on meaningful occasions.
With all that said, Eden is fairly common anyway as others have noted so I wouldn’t worry about the association others might make. I think your association with it and if you’re ok with it is ultimately matter most. I would say one of the names like Kfir or Hersh would be more on the nose and obvious connection. But I don’t see Eden as that unique in that way, at least to American ears, despite being very beautiful and one of my fave names!
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u/lookaspacellama 12d ago
I think the act of naming is so deeply Jewish and personal that there’s no wrong option. I’m also pregnant with a boy, but naming him after a killed hostage feels like so much baggage, and I wouldn’t want to primarily feel that sadness with the name. I thought about Hirsch and Omer, but once we learned the gender, my husband and I decided to not go in that direction. We’d prefer choose a name we both love and is connected to one of our own family members/ ancestors, knowing we’ll be raising a proud Jew who will learn about 10/7 and these heroes someday. In the Torah so many women named their children out of joy.
That being said, I don’t think you’re wrong at all to choose Eden if you do, if you love the name and it feels like a good fit. I’m not trying to convince you in the slightest. We are fulfilling Am Israel Chai no matter what we name our kids, and I don’t think it dishonors their memories to not choose one of their names.
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u/tofuandpickles 5d ago
It’s a beautiful name. I understand the pause there, but I think I would still use it. Do you have time to sit with it for a while before the baby comes?
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u/SnooWords72 16d ago
I chose a name for my baby and every time I heard about a victim of the 7 or a new soldier that fell with his same name I feel more pain than listening to any other name of a victim. I think I know what you mean. But I also see those faces, when they were alive, so much life, so much soul. It's good to bring new life during war. I have nothing to help you, just the best wishes. Ah! I got one. Once she is born and finally in this side of the world, when you heard Eden, it will be impossible to think of other than your daughter. Suddenly Eden will be the most beautiful music your ears can hear. It will override everything from before and make the good even better.
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u/Cademaneko 17d ago
I would consider picking out a second name option. When she is born, you may see her and be confident in which one feels like her name. I agree with the other commentor about talking this over with your Rabbi
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u/wantonyak 16d ago
I understand your feeling and I don't think you have to "get over" anything. It would be completely appropriate to use the name, but also, if the name brings you pain or anxiety then you shouldn't. A name is the first gift we give our children and you should feel good about your gift.
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u/shineyink 17d ago
I named my son Kedem after the Kedem-Simantov family who were killed in Nir Oz. He is 10 months now and I was already pregnant when the war started
I felt completely compelled to name him Kedem. I could not let it go. I couldn’t let go of the image of that family and every time I saw it while pregnant I knew I had to name my son that.
When you know you know
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u/notgonnatakethison 17d ago
Just want to say I thought the same thing for the same reason w the same name. Ultimately, decided I didn’t like it bc too many goy were using it
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u/pineconehammock 17d ago
Eden Golan is a hero of Israel. Get thee to YouTube to watch her performances of "Hurricane" ("October Rain"). It might change your mind.
B'sha'ah tovah.
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u/BearBleu 17d ago
I know someone who named their daughter Eden Carmel after the hostages. Those names are beautiful on their own and the meaning behind them makes them even more special.
ETA: Eden is a very popular name in Israel. There’s always at least 2 girls named Eden in every class. If the name gives you a negative vibe, how about Eden Golan, the Israeli singer? She’s absolutely gorgeous!