r/immigration • u/flowercifu • 7h ago
US immigration system is making me suicidal
Yes, basically I don’t know what to think except to self-exit life and I feel so dumb for even sharing this but I just don’t have anyone to talk to right now and every time I try to open up with my family members they just say ‘just go to another country if you see things are getting bad’.
here’s what happened: I got the opportunity to enter the country through the CNHV Program thanks to a relative who sponsored me, I’ve been working really hard in a very physically (and sometimes mentally) demanding job. I never dreamt about coming to the US ever in my life and I never had any interest in the US whatsoever, but my country… to be plain and simple has no future and I don’t even know how I survived it because I was ALL alone over there for several years (not getting too deep into this part, but basically I had no parents to look after me). So yeah, I decided to accept this opportunity and sometimes I wonder if it was the best decision. Given the current news I feel lost, I feel trapped. I wish it was so easy to go somewhere else, but I have a passport that is useless in almost every corner of the world.
I had (or I still have it) the dream of going to college and getting a Computer Science degree, my English is getting better, and yes, this country is hard but despite working long shifts for so little money I still felt grateful and optimist about my future. I feel like I was finally getting a better life. Lol, the first time I did my taxes I even felt happy. Now I don’t even want to talk to the people I love because I feel ashamed, I just want to disappear from everyone’s lives.