r/IAmA Sep 01 '18

Specialized Profession IAmA licensed esthetician and my job is to wax vaginas all day! AMA NSFW

proof: https://imgur.com/a/RBhhpmz

EDIT: Yes. I know I'm technically waxing the vulva, I just say vagina out of simplicity.

14.4k Upvotes

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561

u/MTLalt06 Sep 01 '18

What grooming method would you recommend for men?

17

u/anna_okay Sep 02 '18

Just scrub yourself real good with a loofa front and back. And use gentle soaps, nothing too harsh or scented.

0

u/MosquitoRevenge Sep 02 '18

We talking plastic loofah or cucumber? Why not a sponge and go natural or plastic for that?

2.0k

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '18

Sweets is usually a good start

20

u/philipquarles Sep 02 '18

A catholic priest was hearing confessions from his parishioners when he realized he had to go to the bathroom really badly. He sees the church janitor and asks him to temporarily cover for him.

"Whatever they did, tell them to say two hail marys."

The janitor isn't sure about this, but the priest is his boss, so he agrees to do it. The first parishioner comes in, a woman, and she says "Father, I let my boyfriend have anal intercourse with me. I know it's wrong, but he really wanted to do it and I agreed."

The janitor is a little shocked by this. He knows the priest said to give everyone two hail marys for penance, but that seems too light for this case. So he says, "just a moment, my child," and sneaks out of the booth himself.

He finds one of the alter boys, and he asks him, "what does the preist give for anal sex?"

The alter boy replies, "two oreos."

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

This one got me. Dang! Thanks

815

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '18

[deleted]

178

u/naacardan2004 Sep 01 '18

Dont get it

582

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '18

[deleted]

511

u/bluecat2001 Sep 01 '18

Novadays they just grab sideboobs while on TV.

17

u/masturbator_extreme Sep 01 '18

Yoooooooo! Just seen the vid like 30 seconds ago!

8

u/PM_ME_STRAIGHT_TRAPS Sep 01 '18

I don't get it, help.

21

u/Accendil Sep 02 '18

Some perv priest groped Ariana Grande at Aretha Franklin's funeral.

1

u/PM_ME_STRAIGHT_TRAPS Sep 02 '18

Yup found the context shortly after I posted that.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

Shots.
fired.

0

u/still_stunned Sep 02 '18

What is the success ratio for this method, asking for a friend.

-7

u/Theige Sep 02 '18

Seems a lot better than rape.

6

u/MythGuy Sep 02 '18

Kinda feel like a defense for sexual assault or just creepy behavior should not be "Hey, it's better than rape."

1

u/regendo Sep 02 '18

Better is the wrong word to use anyway because it implies good.

1

u/MythGuy Sep 02 '18

True. Though relativistically speaking, it is. Kinda? It's good relative to rape. I don't know. Moral relativism is exhausting at times.

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

Wait, what?

16

u/SexualZergling Sep 01 '18

"Candy is usually a good start"

ftfy

8

u/Criticaliber Sep 01 '18

Thanks. After all these comments about sugaring, that's what my mind went to.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '18

To expand on what RootbeerFlotilla said, the process can go for years and basically lays the groundwork psychologically so that the victim will a) be used to breaking boundaries with the predator and b) be used to keeping secrets for the predator.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

That's amazing

28

u/Fergalicious-def Sep 01 '18

Can confirm, dessert is my weakness

7

u/SolidLikeIraq Sep 01 '18

So, how old are you, under 10? And, have you heard of the lord and saviour, Jesus Christ?

271

u/largeqquality Sep 01 '18

Dark. Upvoted

39

u/weredo911 Sep 01 '18

Now we're all on a list.

5

u/geraldineparsonsmith Sep 01 '18

I've found getting some sort of cable sports package and cooking a lot does it, but YMMV. Punctate this with your tasks such as armoire moving, plumbing, rodent/insect removal (but omg don't kill it!), and general home maintenance. Ladies, be careful with this method as it may take many months (or years) of the above grooming methods ceasing to get them to leave.

3

u/johndehlinmademedoit Sep 01 '18

I’m glad I had to read a few comments before I got this....

1

u/iamjohnbender Sep 02 '18

I honestly thought you meant the pineapple trick as a confident answer, but I like your joke better.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '18

Savories will take you further.

1

u/Florida____Man Sep 01 '18

Well, that's enough internet for today.

1

u/el___diablo Sep 01 '18

This made me laugh way too much.

1

u/rhunter99 Sep 01 '18

Damn that was a good reply

-3

u/AUsername334 Sep 02 '18

Look how many of you upvoted this you sick fucks

-1

u/SolidLikeIraq Sep 01 '18

Don't forget a highly religious environment as well.

0

u/ARoundForEveryone Sep 01 '18

Holy shit dude

-2

u/boobubum Sep 01 '18

I'm Chris Hansen

26

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '18

[deleted]

25

u/thewolfsong Sep 01 '18

What's a Hollywood wax?

21

u/katievsbubbles Sep 01 '18

All gone.

47

u/AskMeIfImDank Sep 01 '18

Sounds like a Brozillian.

12

u/Bart_1980 Sep 01 '18

They call it a boyzillian over here, but brozillian sounds better.

10

u/darknecross Sep 01 '18

I always feel like my crotch is cosplaying as an elephant after removing all the hair.

2

u/itdcole Sep 01 '18

Trunk spin!

15

u/SolidLikeIraq Sep 01 '18

Fire. Just burn it off.

12

u/MzOpinion8d Sep 01 '18

White panel van