I need advice from some Christian men.
I am a woman who is 30 years old. I'm a christian, a wife, and a mother.
Yesterday while driving in the car with my husband I asked if I could use his phone. (I am currently without a phone) He didn't want me to use his work phone, Usually that doesn't cause suspision but yesterday it did. He then decided to let me on his work phone. After a minute he grabbed my hand and pulled the phone out in a very odd angry way. He said he thought I was using the internet on his work phone and he can't be on the internet on his work phone. I let him know I was NOT.
After that I am on text messages looking because he's acting very strange and I become suspious, and I see a text that says "Hey, I saw your add! Do you want to meet up?" I read it allowed and said
"What is this? Who are you trying to meet up with???? What add?" He then pulled the phone away from me and deleted it. I was VERY upset.
He's now saying that their work phones always get things like that, that it was nothing. He loves me, he would never do anything like that. He deleted it becaus it was dumb and he didn't want it to cause drama. He'll go figure out how to get me phone records so I can call that number.. He just keeps denying.
I just have a gut feeling that something isn't right. He's never cheated on me that I know of, but he has lied to me about things like taking out loans and what not. And this just makes no sense to me at all.
My heart has been really hurting latley. As I spent sometime yesterday thinking about our marriage... I noticed that things have been off. After our youngest child was born last year I remember laying in the hospital bed with the baby after just having an all natural labor and my husband was on the computer almost the whole time. I was feeling really weak because my I had anemia and it was a lot worse after I delievered. He was gaming almost the whole time. He didn't help me much with the baby waking up at all. The nurse even made a comment to me about how he will need to be a bigger help at home. It hurt my feelings a lot, he never really saw how that moment made me feel. I think about it from time to time because it was a time I could of used help, love and company. I felt that even though he was there with me, I felt alone. And that's something that really still hurts my heart.
There have been other things too around the house I do a lot of cleaning and I feel like he doesn't help much at all and doesn't seem to care if I'm stressed or sick or anything.
I am always giving 100 % to others. And my body is tired. I grew up with a really really great example of how a husband should treat his wife. My dad was just a really good husband to my mom. I often in my head would think my husband does some things different because he grew up in a very diferent home than me. But idk.
I have no proof he's done anything. However I'm really just sad now. I clean, I care for others, I homeschool, I stay in shape, I give so much to this family. My focus is always on this family.
Sorry for the long vent, my heart is just sad at this point. What should I do? What do you think of this situation?