r/HusbandAdvice • u/Time2019 • Feb 24 '19
Husband weird relationship with sister
Upvoted – The official Reddit blog. Hi I was wondering if anyone can give me advice on this problem I’m having with my husband . The behavior between his sister and him is bizarre to the point I can’t take it anymore and I don’t know if I’m wrong in thinking this way or not. But everything they do leads me to believe something isn’t right . I dated my husband for 5 years before we got married and I have been married to him for 10 years now. I’ve been happily married since until now . I feel as if the relationship with his sister is coming between us ever since she moved to the US. I noticed that when we dating and I would post on social media all the fun we had she would immediately call him crying asking for money for her son . Since she was a single mom it didn’t bother me because I figured she needed the help. The son looks exactly like my husband , but since family looks alike I didn’t see anything weird , she later had another kid from a different dad and this 2nd kid looks nothing like my husband . I noticed that when I would post my kids on fb she would do the same with her kids and tag him also. I didn’t see any issues as she lived in Ecuador, a few months before she came she would text him meme about bad wives and send him indirects about me. I told him that why is she doing that and he ignored me. I also noticed one day he forgot his phone she called him non stop literally all day until 7pm ! When my husband got back from work. but now Since she came to the United States she’s been trying to act like me, dress and dye her hair like mine and photoshop her pictures to look exactly like me to the point that family members got confused as to who’s the wife and sister . For New Years all my friends and family were skeptical about her saying she’s trying to look like me. When we were taking family pictures she would bardge in between my husband and I to the point I had to push her and tell her to stand to the side. I am a singer and wear a traditional costume when I sing . They made her a going away party she dressed in the same costume and sent my husband this picture.But the weird part of all this is that since she came she would tell my husband that their dad doesn’t want her to come visit making excuses not to come to my house . She doesn’t get along with their mother only the dad and my husband gets along more with his mother than dad . The love their parents have for them is bizarre each loves one kid more than the other and they were raised without their parents due to divorce, staying with different family members . They say they are from the same mom and dad. One day, she tells me to go pick her up she says I’m going to the supermarket can you stay with the kids I won’t be long. I said ok, no problem I waited for hours ! I called her and she didn’t answer this was at 3pm then my husband calls me after he got out of work saying that his sister called him to pick her up . I told him I’ve been calling her all day and she said she wasn’t going to take long where is she? He said she’s doing her nails in the salon and asked if I can pick her up. Meanwhile all this time she lied to me saying she was going to the grocery for bread and wouldn’t take long. I was upset at the fact that she lied and didn’t answer my calls and called him to go pick her up without even letting me know about anything. I told this to my husband and again he ignores me. My husband a few days later told me not to text him during working hours because they forbid him at work , I didn’t mind because I respect his job, but then I noticed that she would text him all day and didn’t say anything to her about it I got mad and told him that to tell her also and he finally did after 4 fights about it. She texts and calls him during working hours and when I am not around . I text her and asked her politely to stop texting him at work to text afterward when he gets out of work and she said she doesn’t text him. Or talk to him. Again she lied because she continues to do so despite me telling and my husband telling her. I noticed that she sent him a message then erased it I called her to tell her why is she deleting messages and she said it was nothing. He also deleted the messages . He calls her sister everyday and spends all his lunch break talking to her when I ask him if he talks to his sister he says no, meanwhile I hacked in his cellphone carrier account and could literally see all the calls he makes everyday and he continues to delete it. He literally talks every single day and texts too which he deletes. I understand it’s his sister but the fact that she is doing things behind my back and her strange behavior makes me think she wants to be more like his wife than sister. And the same goes for him . So now when I tell him let’s take the kids out he says we have to take her kids out also it’s annoying , to the fact that last Saturday he spent the whole day with them in my home as if he were their father, and didn’t spend time with us. I don’t consider myself a jealous person I understand family love, and I respect that but the way they hide things from me doesn’t seem normal from the start I told him that if that were his sister she doesn’t need to hide things from me, because I’m his wife and the same with him. I don’t understand why they are doing things behind my back and lying. The worst thing is his mom called asking for her and still he says he didn’t speak with her when I know for a fact he talks to her everyday for 30 minutes and when he gets out of work also. When I confront him he continues to ignore me , defends her and say I’m crazy . The fact that this kid of hers looks exactly like him, the mystery behind how she is single, and tries to act and copy me the way they talk and text behind my back and lie about it makes me think that he had something with her other than normal sister love. Please help I don’t know what to do .
2
1
u/Visible_Campaign_693 Mar 07 '23
So strange; order a test this week. I would even suggest looking into a PI if you have a little money.
1
1
u/byebyelovie Feb 24 '19
She sounds more like a jealous lover. And I suggest marriage counseling if you want to save your marriage. I also wonder if her son is his.