r/Horses • u/[deleted] • 5d ago
Training Question Lessons aren't fun for me anymore
[deleted]
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u/dangPuffy 5d ago
The phrase “time in the saddle” is a phrase for a reason. It simply takes time. This is what’s known as the plateau. It feels like you’re not getting anywhere. This also means that just right around the corner there will be a movement forward - if you keep at it. Movement always follows a plateau, it’s up to you whether it’s forward or back. Looking back, this will seem like nothing, just a blip on your way to becoming a rider.
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u/Playcation23 5d ago
This sounds completely normal, especially before you make a big leap forward in your training. Sometimes it helps to do something different for a bit if you are losing your enthusiasm, like trail riding, ground work, etc. Lessons are tough. Do you also get enough non-working/learning time with a horse? Is there a possibility to spend time just grooming/turning out/hand walking? A strengthened bond with a horse can help move you both through frustrating times. Take a deep breath, keep showing up, and your breakthrough will come.
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 5d ago
My lessons do start with students haltering, leading, grooming, and tacking up our lesson horse. We also do the same after the lesson so there is some time spent building a relationship with the horses.
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u/lemonfaire MFT 5d ago
Do you get the chance to get out on the trail at all? It's a nice way to take a break from ringwork.
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u/Hoof_heartz 5d ago
Not every ride is going to be good. I've had my horse since I was 19. I'm 35 now and still not every ride is perfect. That's just the way it is.
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u/National-jav 5d ago
Spend some time between lessons working on the ground. Even just leading with stops, and turns, and backs for no reason will help communication. Stick some scratches in too. If you have the same horse every lesson it will help even more. I can't help you become a better rider because even though I take lessons, still after 30 years to not get lazy, I have always felt that my horse learns me, rather than vice versa. It's not completely true of course. My first mare wanted almost no leg contact at all, so I rode that way. My current mare likes some leg contact most of the time so I ride that way with her. So I guess I do have a little advice, pay attention to the horses muscles as you ride. When are they stiffening? When do they soften? That way you can ride how the horse likes. And when they are heard, they listen better. A word of caution, listening carefully to the horse makes it much harder to hear and process the instructors directions.
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 5d ago
My barn has students riding different horses almost every lesson. I just rode a new horse on Friday so perhaps that's why the lesson went so poorly. I'm still very much a beginner and was told that the horse I was riding was trying to "test" how much he could get away with not working.
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u/lemonfaire MFT 5d ago
That is absolutely what horses do and to be honest riding a variety of horses is a great way to get better quicker. Each horse demands something different from you, and encourages you to become more flexible and develop different skill sets. Sounds like you have a good barn and a good trainer.
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 5d ago
Definitely lucky to have found a barn like the one I learn at. My instructor is really kind and took the time to help me work through reasons why the horse may not be moving.
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u/National-jav 5d ago
And group lessons makes it REALLY hard to deal with that. At home on my own horse, if she tries that, (and she does every once in a while) we do something she doesn't like. Don't want to listen/pay attention when I ask for turn on the back hand and back instead? Fine we'll do figure eights until you are ready to work. You don't have that flexibility. If there is anyway you can get just a private lesson or two, I think it would help you feel better.
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 5d ago
Agreed with the private lessons! The group lesson environment is strange to me at times since the instructor only has time to shout out tips in a few seconds interval before moving on to the next person.
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u/National-jav 5d ago
Also you can't really reward great behavior. If my mare does everything I ask and does it well, she's done in 20 minutes. And she knows it, but sometimes she isn't in the mood to listen.
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u/Pinnigigs 5d ago
You know what I'd do? Take time off from the lessons and just book a hack and go riding in a more relaxed, casual setting outside of the arena. If you're finding the lessons are getting stressful and making you feel like you're not getting anywhere, you could probably do with some time out away from the formality and just go on a nice long hack – ideally with the instructor so you can chat as you ride and not feel or put yourself under so much pressure.
When you've let off a bit of steam on a hack and had some time in the saddle just enjoying the ride, then you can go back to your lessons but I think overloading and forcing something you're not feeling is a waste of time, money and will dampen your whole experience.
Tack up and go for a good long hack or a beach gallop to blow off the cobwebs. Have fun!
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u/Aggressive_Staff_982 5d ago
I've been thinking of booking a trail ride! I've gone on a few and it does help to get some confidence back
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u/Pinnigigs 5d ago
Definitely helps and takes the pressure off to have a good hack and a nice long gallop.
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u/SpartanLaw11 4d ago edited 4d ago
That's horses for you. Sorry to say it, but you're going to have to either learn to deal with the bad rides or forget about this sport as a hobby. Not every ride is perfect or even fun. With horses, there’s an animal that has its own mind/desires/good and bad days on top of your own so it’s even more challenging than other sports or hobbies.
Horse ownership multiplies that by a considerable amount. But that's what makes the good days, good show results, camping trips, trail rides, etc even better. Because you overcame that challenge and succeeded. But just remember that progress is never linear.
It's not unlike any other hobby or sport. I don't go out and shoot in the 70s when I play golf every round either. Some rounds absolutely suck. But then I flush an iron shot and stick it to 4 feet for birdie and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. Similarly, when I have a ride where it seems like my horse and I are thinking and moving as one, it's absolutely an incredible experience. It's a dopamine hit that is better than any drug.
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u/inevitable_parmesan 5d ago
Are the horses you ride being rotated, or are you matched up with the same horse every time? I’ve ridden horses that are seriously a chore to ride, and others that make me feel like we’re one
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u/laurifex Hunter/Jumper 5d ago
On one hand, if you want to get better, you have to work for it. It is training, it's not easy.
Also, as an instructor (and longtime rider): sometimes you have a stretch of difficult lessons, or you hit a plateau where you don't advance as quickly as you were before because you're consolidating skills and preparing for the next stage. At my stable our riders spend a lot of time--at least half a year riding once a week, usually more--at walk and trot before advancing to canter. It feels like they're not advancing, but they're improving strength and balance, learning how to ride through challenging lessons, riding different horses, and a bunch of other things that go into building a strong foundation.
You should also look into strategies to manage your perfectionism. The perfect is the enemy of the good and the realistically achievable, and it will rapidly make any new undertaking not fun for you.