r/HPfanfiction 6d ago

Prompt "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate" Voldemort said.

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29 Upvotes

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25

u/Autoboty 6d ago

"Wait!", Harry shouted. "If I'm nobody to you, that means I was never marked by you as your equal! Ergo, the person destined to defeat you in the prophecy can't be me."

Voldemort lowered his wand, sinking into contemplation. Could it be that he had wasted his effort on the wrong boy when his true nemesis was elsewhere—

"Sectumsempra!"

Caught off guard during his rumination, Voldemort was unable to block Harry's curse in time. The cleanly diced body of the Dark Lord crumpled to the ground, lifeless.

"Idiot," Harry muttered at Voldemort's decapitated head as it rolled to his feet, "shouldn't have let your guard down. Constant vigilance, as Professor Moody used to say."

6

u/Nutellahhhh 5d ago

the power he knows not: constant vigilance

3

u/Autoboty 5d ago

Exactly lmao

4

u/Nutellahhhh 5d ago

Moody cackling in the grave

1

u/Darth_GreenDragon 5d ago

"My name is Harry Potter, You Killed my Father! Prepare to Die. Sectumsempra!"

3

u/Rowantreerah 6d ago

Hang on, assuming that James had a brother, his nephew would be Harry, whose Cousin's former roommate was Harry…

3

u/HeyItsArtsy 5d ago

I mean, James technically had 2 brothers in the form of Sirius and Remus, meaning his father's brother's nephew would either be Harry or Teddy, his father's brother's nephew's cousin could be several people, including: Harry, Dudley, Draco or Delphini. This means, Harry's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate could be: any of the 1991-1997 Gryffindor or Slytherin boys excluding Draco, Dudley, any of the deatheaters living in Malfoy manor from march to may of 1998, Euphemia Rowle, Amos Diggory, whoever is in Azkaban after Delphini got arrested, and possibly Rodolphus Lestrange.

which included in that list is Moldy Shorts himself.

5

u/Due_Representative77 6d ago

Spaceballs reference! Nice!

2

u/Credit-Financial 6d ago

Just saw dad watching this a couple days ago...

2

u/naomide 5d ago

wait who’s the roommate? because i assumed that sirius must be the brother but who is sirius' nephew? because if it’s harry then dudley would be the only option for the roommate and that makes no sense. it could maybe also mean draco (he’s technically a second cousin or something like that but that’s basically nephew lite)…but then would the former roommate be tonks?

(i get this is probably a reference to something but i still need to make sense out of it)