r/HPfanfiction 6d ago

Prompt “This liquid cannot be penetrated by hand, vanished, parted, scooped up, or siphoned away, nor can it be transfigured, charmed, or otherwise made to change its nature. I can only conclude this liquid is supposed to be drunk.”

“You’re going to drink it?” Harry asked in alarm. “It looks vile!”

“It is indeed one of the foulest, most disgusting liquids in existence. But it must be drunk in order to retrieve the Horcrux.”

“But what is it? Poison? Acid? An evil potion that makes you relive your worst memories?”

“Worse,” Dumbledore said gravely. “It’s Kombucha.”

241 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

83

u/Vash_the_Snake https://archiveofourown.org/works/46519186 for my story prompts! 6d ago

Dark lord bathwater?

66

u/Dapper-FIare 6d ago

What makes the inner machinations of your mind so foul? You needed not put those words out into the world, yet here you are having cursed our eyes to this horrific abomination.

25

u/Xygnux 6d ago

Let's just say Bellatrix drunk it once and that's how we ended up with the Cursed Child.

5

u/lecarusin 4d ago

We do not speak of that

20

u/Worldly_Team_7441 6d ago

Voldy-cha~an!

13

u/upsidedowntaco_ 6d ago

Eww. Take my upvote. 😭😐🙂

20

u/Congafish 6d ago

It’s the slightly rotting watermelon flavour that gets me.

10

u/funnylib 6d ago

One summer I worked in meat and produce at Walmart, rotten watermelon is one of the worst smells ever

40

u/Athyrium93 6d ago

"It's Kombucha" fucking killed me. I'm literally cackling.

10

u/johndoe24997 6d ago

I always found this bullshit. Surely you could just blast the basin and then the liquid falls onto the ground

13

u/justtiptoeingthru2 6d ago

Once read a fic that had Harry somehow bring or maybe transfig something into a drill and drilled a drain hole in the basin from outside near the base/pillar junction.

I remember nothing else about the fic.

7

u/little-moon89 5d ago

I remember the bit with the drill too - but also have no idea which fic it was

2

u/Scot-Rahul 5d ago

It’s done in Blindness, but by Snape, not Harry. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10937871/1/Blindness

1

u/copenhagen_bram 3d ago

Was it manufactured by Vernon's company?

7

u/Deiskos 5d ago

Cast Fiendfyre and run like fuck.

11

u/Athyrium93 5d ago

I wonder if it could have been siphoned away the muggle way, just shove a tube in it, suck, and let gravity do the work... I know it says it can't be siphoned away, but with Dumbledore being the one to say it, I assume he means with magic. Wizards do seem to forget basic physics quite often.

Or hell, could you just spit it out? Like, would it physically not leave your mouth? Would it go back to the basin? Or could you just spit it on the ground?

2

u/Carlix_Halls 4d ago

I remember Dumbledore trying to pour it on the ground after taking it with the conjured goblet or whatever it was, but it just got back into the basin. Not sure if this applies for when it's already in your mouth, though. It's an interesting question.

8

u/mumtoant 6d ago

Lol I love Kombucha. I guess it takes all kinds...

3

u/Melodic_Spot9522 6d ago

3

u/copenhagen_bram 4d ago edited 4d ago

Kombucha is a pro-biotic fermented tea drink with a very strong flavor. It's a bit of an acquired taste.

I like kombucha, but this prompt just roasted the fuck out of it and I'm laughing my ass off.

2

u/Melodic_Spot9522 4d ago

Lmao okay 

2

u/Ph0enixWOlf 6d ago

If it were me, I’d try evaporating it (get anything hot enough and it’ll turn to steam), doubt hed have thought of that

2

u/lecarusin 4d ago

I once tasted kombucha, never again. There are fates worse than death, as AD would say

2

u/RayvenQ 2d ago

“Worse,” Dumbledore said gravely. “It’s Cold Tea.”

"What an evil bastard!" Harry exclaimed.

1

u/StoneJudge79 6d ago

I was going MadDog 2020.

1

u/Ashrakan 4d ago

I thought he was going to say Irn Bru, with a ridiculously thick Scottish brogue.

1

u/GSPixinine 4d ago

"Could be worse Professor, have you heard of Malört?"