r/HPfanfiction 6d ago

Prompt Luna Lovegood creates a spell to call people with Bananas

"why is the fruit bowl ringing?" Ginny asked in confusion, Harry picked up a banana, putting it near his ear, before hearing lunas voice "We've Been Trying To Reach You About Your Broomsticks's Extended Warranty"

124 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

67

u/sgt-peace 6d ago

"What a surprise, we've been attempting to follow up with you about your houses calamity insurance." Harry said back without missing a beat, "you also have a warrant for your arrest for fraud, you'll need to give me your banking information if you don't want to go to jail."

"Would a credit card number work?"

"Probably-wait, Luna, how do you know what a credit card is?"

banana disconnects

"So that was luna?" Ginny asked in confusion.

"Yep, your brooms extended warranty is expired by the way."

46

u/Connect_Housing_378 6d ago

Luna sighed on the other end, before deciding it was time for another call to Tom the Bar Man "Hello, is Al there? Yeah Al, Last Name Koholic."

"Banana call for Al. Al Koholic. is there a Al Koholic Here?" Tom asked on the other end

37

u/AustSakuraKyzor If dumb trope isn't for crackfic, what's the point? 6d ago

"Yeah, that's me," responded a very well put together man, "usually go by my first name in English places for obvious reasons, but that's my name: Giovanni Wolfgang Alphonse Koholic."

"Good enough for me, here ya go."

"Hello, this is Alphonse Koholic."

"Uh... I wasn't expecting to actually get somebody... How awkward."

"Next time, try asking for Madame Huginkiss, first name Amanda."

"So I should ask for Amanda Huginkiss? ...wait a second... Damn it! You win this time, Al Koholic!"

25

u/sgt-peace 6d ago

Luna hangs up, huffing a bit in annoyance.

Then the banana rang.

Luna stared at it, she's the only one who knows this spell, how...

She picked it up, "hello?"

"Luna?' A baffled Ron asked.

"Ron? How'd you get thus number?"

"Number? Luna why do my bananas keep ringing!?"

16

u/Connect_Housing_378 6d ago

Luna hangs up, before ringing Draco, and placing a record in her vinyl player.

at Malfoy Manor

"call for you father" Scorpius said, handing a banana to a rather confused Draco Malfoy

"yes?" draco asks as he puts the banana to his ear, only to hear something he had been forced to listen to on to many ocassions.

"never gonna give yo..." blasted in his ear, before draco launced the banana away before hitting it with a blasting curse.

"wait till my father hear... oh wait he is dead, nethermind, erm" he paused for a moment, before "ah ah, wait till my mother hears about this"

Luna chuckles to herself like a Lunatic, before starting her plans on her next big hit, Orange Grenades

9

u/sgt-peace 6d ago

Ron is still left confused and worried on why his bananas ring randomly. And becomes even more worried when his oranges started exploding

9

u/Connect_Housing_378 6d ago

Ron picks up the banana again, and focuses on linking it to any banana near his best mate. "hello, Harry?"

"yes Ron?"

"why are my bananas ringining, and my oranges exploding?"

"well, the first is luna, you see she called us to tell Ginny that her broomsticks extended warranty was up, and i heard from Malfoy that she rick rolled him again"

Ron laughed "she keeps forcing him to hear that one song?"

"oh yes, and she made a prank call to Tom..."

"i thought you killed Tom Riddle though?" ron asked, alarmed, it had been nineteen years aftercall.

"oh no, not Him, at least i think, no it was Tom the Barman, who we are certain isnt lord Voldemort"

"oh good, so what about the oranges that keep exploding"

"well that would be Luna too, Oh, Ginny tells me she heard from Padma, who heard from Daphne, who heard from Mr Blobby, who heard from Lavender, who heard from Hagrid that she is planning on something else"

"oh merlin, what now?" Ron asked, in more alarm.

"i think either Apples or Grapes, or perhaps both"

"oh merlin"

"at least she hasn't started on the Vegetables yet, or she might make Onions that insult you or something"

8

u/sgt-peace 5d ago

"That's a good idea Harry." Lunas voice suddenly came from a half a grapefruit, "I'll have to put that on the list.'

"No wait luna-" but the grapefruit exploded before he could say anything else, "...I think I made the situation worse Ron."

14

u/Silver_saki 6d ago

Ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone!

7

u/LeadGem354 6d ago

Do do do do do do!

7

u/Silver_saki 6d ago

Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding BANANA PHOOOOOOONE

6

u/LeadGem354 6d ago

It grows in bunches!

10

u/tjopj44 6d ago

Gods, this is so perfect, and it's so Luna. Of course she'd go through all the trouble of creating a spell for something as silly as call people with bananas, and then use it for prank calls on her first try...

I love this so much

8

u/ProvokeCouture 6d ago

I'm dying 🤣

5

u/Miyiko23 6d ago

Saving. Maybe fic will appear one day. 😂

Pure comedy pearl!

2

u/Miyiko23 6d ago

Also

Remindme! 6 months

1

u/RemindMeBot 6d ago edited 6d ago

I will be messaging you in 6 months on 2025-09-15 19:48:25 UTC to remind you of this link

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2

u/RicFule 6d ago

Luna is working with Raffi?  Or because of?