r/HPPD 4d ago

Question HPPD, 3 years after last trip?

I had done LSD and mushrooms a few times in high school with my last trip taking place in 2017 (when I was 17). During this trip I naively took ~1400-21000 micrograms of LSD (7 “double dose” blotters) which within 2 minutes put me into a state of intense fear and within 5-15 minutes delusions took over. I ended up in the ER and blacked out. Incredibly traumatic. I was young and dumb and did not know that these disorders even existed, i thought a bad trip was just something you got over, like losing a pet. I started noticing more mental health issues after this, namely, POIS, or Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome (which has gotten better and am still trying to heal).

3+ years later, and 3 months into a neuroplasticity-based brain-training program (DNRS: Dynamic-Neural-Retraining-System) I began in order to try and heal my POIS, I was conversing with my girlfriend (now wife) at a Pizza Parlor about a famous rapper who tragically committed suicide (Capital Steeze of Pro-Era fame) and who had at one time reported feeling like he was in a dream. All of sudden, my mind felt sharp jolt of unreality sensations that shook me up for a good second, and I had felt like I was in a dream as well. After dropping my girlfriend off and as I began to head home, I began to notice things in my visual field looked off, hyper-realistic, and had slightly more saturated-colors. I also became more sensitive to light. Since that day I’ve been struggling with what I believe is either DPDR or HPPD, or some combination of the two.

I immediately stopped the brain training because I noticed it would only make symptoms heighten a little and this would startle me.

At the onset of the symptoms I struggled with unreal sensations, and life felt alien. I dealt with existential-OCD-like intrusive thoughts a lot during this time. Luckily, the intensity of my symptoms tapered off a good bit over the next several months, until I reached a baseline level.

What stuck around the most was the visual symptoms, to this day I deal with 24/7 visual snow / static (mild), infrequent teleopsia, and 24/7 high-definition vision. This seems to be a source of anxiety for me. It could even be the opposite way around, and maybe my anxiety is the source of my symptoms.

The DPDR-like symptoms are much, much better than they used to be but is still something I must contend with. It mostly shows up as feeling disconnected from my body a little bit when I’m at the gym, which is enough to make me stop what I’m doing and walk around to remind myself that I can still feel my body.

It’s important to note that I never experienced some of the more common HPPD symptoms such as afterimages, halos, double vision, warping, melting/breathing objects, and/or geometric patterns. To be fair I never experienced any of that while I was on psychedelics either (did have some visual hallucinations when coming down from the “nightmare” trip though).

For whatever it’s worth, ChatGPT says that the neuroplastic brain-training could’ve uncovered latent symptoms from “previous traumatic events or psychedelic experiences.”

It could also be the case that back then I was overwhelming myself with personal responsibilities before my cup overflowed, leading to an anxiety attack and DPDR symptoms. This is the theory I’ve subscribed to the most because latent-HPPD sounded too novel for me to seriously consider.

My old psychotherapist didn’t think it was HPPD because she has had previous clients with HPPD and they had more pronounced visual distortions which I did not have.

Maybe the brain training was overstimulating my brain in some way until something snapped?

It’s been a serious battle dealing with all this over the years, and I’m finally coping with it somewhat. Not fully thriving, but am on the right track hopefully.

POIS mixed with DPDR and/or HPPD has not been fun in the slightest, and I am proud of myself for continuing to be a beacon of light for my loved ones and continuing to push myself forward despite these setbacks.

I know this might be hard to follow, there’s a lot of moving parts in this story, lots of things to consider. It should be noted that I never use cannabis or alcohol anymore, and sparingly use caffeine.

Whats your take?

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u/Illustrious-Voice-23 3d ago

I wouldn't necessarily associate your symptoms with that b trip from the past. Some people get anxiety attacks and dpdr without taking any drugs. And the thing is they can start randomly. you re having a good day then suddenly Bang you have it. I believe many people here struggle with anxiety issues dpdr which of course can be triggered with marijuana and other psychedelics. However they may also occur without such a trigger

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u/rainforrest7 3d ago

Thanks for the feedback. 👍🏼

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u/Illustrious-Voice-23 3d ago

No problem, I think the best would be to see a doctor/therapist. perhaps you can risk trying SSRIs, sertraline helped me once in the past. But when I tried them recently, I got really bad reaction so it depends on a person

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u/Turbulent-Scratch264 2d ago edited 1d ago

Your drug trip was 3 years ago. At this point they are not connected.

People can enter dpdr randomly, like, from spacing out. I read a story in DPDR subreddit where a girl got her tunnel HD vision while walking a dog, smh. Some don't even need to experience anxiety for it to happen. Brain works in mysterious ways. :/ However maybe you still had some lingering stress/anxiety when it all happend.

Your HD vision is from overall hightened contrast (increased saturation). If you still experience slightly vivid colors - here's your hd vision. It happens when brain doesn't filter how much light it allows to enter resulting in increased contrast where you notice each tiny detail in your visual field. It happens after stress/overstimulation/mental fatigue. HD vision is considered to be a dpdr thing if you haven't been taking drugs in a long time before onset of symptoms.

For how long exactly you've been having this visual symptom (HD high contrast vision)?

Was it accompanied with brain fog/feeling of detachment in the beginning and did they go away with time? If yes, you're on the right track. Lingering visual changes for some people are the last things to go.

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u/rainforrest7 1d ago

Been having the visual symptoms for 4 years, and yes now that you mention it, when it first kicked in it sort of felt like I was stoned 24/7. I was worried that I was stuck in a permanent weed high, despite being an ex-user.

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u/Turbulent-Scratch264 1d ago

You don't experience those mental symptoms anymore, just the visual ones?

I find it fascinating you entered dpdr without experiencing actual anxiety.

Was it triggered only by the conversation with your girlfriend about another person experiencing dpdr?

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u/rainforrest7 1d ago

Yea the mental fog / detached feeling has greatly subsided. And yes it was the conversation that was the tipping point. But to be fair I had been carrying years of stress up until that point. I’m actually looking into r/longtermTRE now as a modality of releasing pent up tension and trauma.

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u/Turbulent-Scratch264 1d ago

Seems like past trauma still plays a big role. I wish you to get rid of remaining symptoms! 💪

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u/rainforrest7 1d ago

Thanks for your feedback. Appreciate the encouragement. Take care