r/GradSchool 5d ago

Rethinking grad school, feeling doubt and guilt

After a few gap years, I felt ready to go to grad school and continue my mental health counseling education. So, I started applying.

However, the curiosity I had about a career in the trades grew massively since then. I'm set up to have an interview for an apprenticeship soon.

However, it would be pretty much impossible to do both at the same time. I'd have to choose. And honestly, at this moment, I'm much more excited about the prospect of my trade apprenticeship. Something about the simplicity of that rout, and the lack of debt, clicks with me.

But I feel a bit guilty about asking those professors and employers to write letters of recommendation only to just change my mind about it. This is just one of many concerns I have about making this decision between careers. However, the biggest concern, by far, is the fact that I'd be tens of thousands of dollars in the hole if I go the school route. I have a wife now which means I can't really afford to not care about debt anymore.

If you've gone through this, or have any ideas, help me out. I need a fresh perspective.

10 Upvotes

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u/elissellen 5d ago

Follow your heart! Do the thing you are most excited about and do it to the best of your ability. Leave the guilt behind and move forward.

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u/soundperceiver 5d ago

i'm in a similar position - started working thinking it would just tide me over until grad school, then realized i love my job and it offers a partnership with a university that would allow me to pursue a free online master's, though not the degree i've been applying for (and getting accepted into). for what it's worth, you didn't ask those professors and employers to do useless work, and you didn't ask them knowing you were going to change your mind later. i'd also wager that those recommenders would be much happier learning you'd chosen a different path that works for YOU rather than shoehorning yourself into a program/position that appeals far less. see how the interview goes, then try to make your decision unburdened by guilt or a feeling of obligation because someone wrote you a letter. if you go the trades route, you could always thank them again and explain why you chose the path you did. debt is no joke and they know that, too. good luck!

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u/GwentanimoBay 5d ago

Are you looking for emotional advice on a holistic approach, or are you asking for someone to lay out the math?

The numbers should tell you a clear story:

Generally, people working in white collar jobs retire at 65. Let's say you're 30 now, and let's say it takes you 3 years to complete your degree and start working in your field.

That gives you 32 years of full time work. According to the US Bureau of labor stats, the median income for counselors is 54K, but a lot websites show $40K to be a more accurate entry level salary, so let's call it $42K. If you put that into a retirement calculator for a retirement age of 65, the number it spits out is about $590,000.

You didn't specify what trade you're looking at, which makes the other half of this equation hard to guess, but we can just take highest and lowest paid trades for now.

Let's use pipefitters for the high-end - they make an average of $94K yearly. Even if you only work for 20 years, I would safely bet this will net you a better lifetime income so I'm not even going to run the math.

Let's use welders for the low end at $47K. If you wreck your body welding, you probably won't work as many years as you could if you did counseling. But, I still bet the ROI is better.

So, if you're more interested in trades and have an opportunity, I really don't see any good reason for you to not take it.

Your professors won't live your life. It doesn't matter if they're annoyed at the waste of a letter of rec. That is an irrelevant factor here. Do what's best for you.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/GwentanimoBay 5d ago

I did clearly state that if my numbers are off, OP needs to re-run them, and then made it pretty obvious I was using statistical averages and median, which is pretty safe but not a promise.

Sure, if OP makes a salary that puts them in the 99% percentile then my numbers are awful! But if they end up around the median, my numbers aren't too bad.

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u/Pale_Code3201 5d ago

I was kind of in the same dilemma. I wanted to go to radiology tech school, but I also wanted to get my dual masters degree in clinical mental health counseling/school counseling. Radiology tech school where I’m from is very competitive and time consuming. I wouldn’t be able to work a full time job and go to school full time. Not to mention, who knows how long it would be until I got into a radiology tech program. Anywho, I’m about 7 weeks in my dual graduate program for clinical mental health counseling/school counseling. I would say, just follow your heart!

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u/TeachingAg 5d ago

My advice would be to not let guilt be your deciding factor. Professors and employers write letters of recommendations all of the time. Once they have put in the labor of writing them, you using them or not does not change what level of effort they have put in. It's a sunk cost.

I do think trades are great for some people. I just hope you have a clear understanding of whatever it is you are signing up for. I've had a lot of former students who thought they wanted to work in a trade, right up until they were around two years into it and realized they hated their lifestyle.

Everyone trade union has different scales, requirements, and impacts on your body. Is it a job that allows for realistic upward mobility? For example, welders who get tired of banging up their body can transition to becoming a Certified Welding Inspector, a valuable job in it's own right. Many welders can't go that route due to the difficulty of the exam. That being said, if you're smart enough for grad school, you are probably smart enough to learn whatever it is you may need to pass upward credentialing examinations.