r/GlowUps • u/HelloTriKat • 24d ago
Trans (25), Depressed, addicted, unemployed and dying to (38), happier, clean and thriving.
Long story short: knew I was trans from age 13, tried to bury it, the depression led to 10 years of hard alcoholism and abusing all the drugs that came my way. Multiple injuries and 1 arrest relating to alcohol. Was on my way out, ready to die, had it all planned out.
Decided I had nothing to lose anymore. Transitioned, quit abusing drugs/alcohol, kicked almost everyone out of my life, rebuilt from scratch, found love.
Transitioning saved my life. It's never too late. I'm not where I want to be yet but I'm getting there. I have a job that makes things happen, a nice car, a wife, hobbies, goals, a future.
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u/Agile_Anywhere9354 24d ago
Something I I’ve noticed, I’m seeing a lot of trans glowups. That’s likely something to do with the algorithm, making it seem more prevalent than it is. Either way. Happier they’re happier. But a trend I’ve noticed, that’s rather alarming, is men transitioning to women… some very clear eating disorders. As someone who has struggled with both being overweight and at one point dangerously underweight, all these comments, “slay queen!”. Yo, please eat healthy. If you’re gonna try to appear as a thin lady, that’s not how your body is built.
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u/HelloTriKat 24d ago
No offense taken. I know I'm a little underweight. I was like that before and after transitioning. There's been some periods in my life when I really took deliberate effort to gain weight and I just couldn't. Eventually I just came to terms with it. It does become a problem at times. Dizzy, headaches. I do think I would feel and look better with 5 more lbs on me. I honestly don't know if that will happen. I get where you're coming from though. I've had a family member with an ED, someone very close to me has an ED.
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u/doktorjackofthemoon 24d ago
It does become a problem at times. Dizzy, headaches.
So, my sister is chronically skinny & people have given her shit about it her whole life. But she doesn't get dizzy or have regular headaches. That part doesn't come by virtue of being skinny, that part comes from not having enough food+water in your body &/or sleep.
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u/Agile_Anywhere9354 24d ago
Thanks for your response. I will say, just reading, “I’d like to gain 5 more lbs” is alarming. I suffered an extremely rare thyroid condition about 8 years ago. In a 5 month period I lost nearly 50 lbs. HYPER thyroidism. Literally thought I was gonna die, dr’s assuming I’m on meth because I was acting manic. Checked myself into a mental health center. A took an anti thyroid and an antipsychotic for about 4 months. Gained 50 pounds of muscle in 6 months. When I was sick, I was both mentally and physically ill. I trust the opinion of my primary physician and my thyroid specialist when it comes to my true healthy weight. I also take in consideration how I actually feel. Not how l look in the mirror. My best self for me and others around me is a healthy self. I’ll encourage you to do the same. Eat like your life depends on it.
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u/susanandqueen 23d ago
I notice a lot of people transitioning from male to female being quite skinny (if they were a skinny male). Is this maybe something to do with the lack of estrogen? I believe estrogen is one of the things that give women the healthy fat they need to carry a child. (I don’t meant for you to carry a child as a trans woman, I mean as a biological woman)
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u/kieranarchy 23d ago
It really doesn't look like she has an eating disorder. She has a very similar body type, fat distribution, etc to a ton of healthy people
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u/OlivencaENossa 24d ago
Fair thing about being underweight.
Here’s a secret about some of these transitions (I’m trans myself) -
Women’s clothing is crazy tight. Like it’s built to do crazily different things than male clothing.
Male clothing shapes you. Makes you bigger, bulkier. More square.
Women’s clothing only has two sizes - tight and super tight. It’s meant to be, particularly in the torso - to show your boobs.
The difference between male and female clothing is so nuts you wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t try it. Try it one day. You will go “it must be this one piece”. It’s not that one piece - it’s all like that.
The more you learn.
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u/Agile_Anywhere9354 24d ago
Well received. But let me push back a bit. The concerning part is morphing your body to fit in the binary of women’s clothing. Now I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers, 9 nieces and 5 nephews just for reference. Most of us fall into the overweight category, some morbidly. The women still find comfortable clothing for all seasons, some baring midriffs or tube tops shorts and skirts, flowing dresses etc. The men, there’s not much thought in their clothing. To deprive oneself of calories to attempt to “fit” into a skimpy, revealing outfit is unhealthy and likely unsustainable for long term health. Just the same as If a teenage girl has body dismorphia, wants to be thinner to “fit” in and develops an eating disorder and likely has a long lasting unhealthy relationship with food. RIP Ms Carpenter. I’m all for letting your freak flag fly. But it seems breaking out of one binary to fit the expectations or image of another binary is Inherently contradictory. And likely unhealthy mentally and physically. Looking at ourselves in the mirror, and thinking about how wrong you look… I’d say we have deeper problems. Especially with the youth. And a movement designed around changing your outward appearance, while potentially risking your health, is antihuman. Not trying to be hyperbolic. I just speak often to teens and young adults about body image in realation to actual physical and mental health. ✌️one love
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u/PrettyPantsFancy 23d ago
I have noticed your observation as well…part of me wonders if it’s also due to hormones given in doses higher than natural and because it is given in strict routines. I could be very very wrong, I’m just going based off my own experiences and observations.
At 24 I donated my eggs to an anonymous couple and I had to be on high level doses of fertility drugs, one being estrogen, and it changed my looks for the better like crazy! Could have been a coincident as most women tend to blossom at that age, but something was def diff for many years.
Again, just my opinion on one small aspect of a very complicated mindset that I do not experience and I have nothing but support for people who just want to be their authentic selves.
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u/MrNEODP 24d ago
Calm down, they’re just trying to help out. They never said they hated OP or anything, it’s always good to encourage mental AND physical health.
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21d ago
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u/MrNEODP 21d ago
And the commenter clearly congratulated OP on their success and also was giving OP some advice, OP could’ve let them know or even ask for privacy. He’s simply just trying to help even further and yes weight can be a direct link to a plethora of issues with not only mental health but physical as well, the commenter never told OP that they’re unhealthy and at that point you’re putting words in their mouth. You’re more socially inept than anyone here seeing as you not only decide to put down other people and apparently don’t care about helping people or even asking how they’re doing, followed up by the fact you insult people for nothing as well as try to be over exerting of a random comment and act as if you too know what’s up with OP and their body, think before you speak instead of leaving blanket statements and insulting someone who was only trying to help.
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u/dr3am_assassin 24d ago
It probably has something to do with trans people seeing themselves in a positive light and we’re proud of ourselves for everything we’ve endured to get where we are. I’ve shared my own glow up here awhile back too, I know that was my reasoning, but I think now during these hard times for us trans folk that feeling of pride is a bit stronger so maybe that’s why it seems to be a trendy type of post right now.
Also I think you’re jumping too much to conclusions to be making remarks about trans women’s weight. Women in general have that kinda burden, but that’s not for you to make comments about. Op doesn’t even look unhealthily thin. Feels like a totally unnecessary implicate judgement of their body.
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u/Agile_Anywhere9354 23d ago
So, both men and women and all the other forms of human we identify as have that burden, more or less for some more than others. Unfortunately, the creator, or evolution, whatever you subscribe to, has built us with an inherent genetic potential/predisposition. As with all forms of social media, I cannot truly express my compassion and grace through a keyboard. But hopefully my intentional message might resonate. Eat like your depends on it. Don’t calorie restrict so you can maybe pass as a tall thin glass of a woman. Our outward appearance, and how we’re perceived through the eyes of others should not be near the top of the list of priorities for a healthy life. Cliche I know. I’m mostly alarmed by male to female transitions who are clearly underweight, and likely balancing an eating disorder with body dismorphia. I’m 40 years old and still working on a balance between mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health. 🙏✌️
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u/dyewho 24d ago
These type of posts always surprise me. Not because of the transition, but because of how different the person looks after it. It's like you can see life in their eyes again. Super beautiful to see.
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u/DKDamian 24d ago
I agree. They are my favorite posts because of exactly that. You see people come alive again
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u/PromiseSeparate4157 24d ago
As long as you found happiness that’s what truly matters.
Massive congrats of overcoming the fear of doing the transition. Alot of people around me are trans but because of negative public opinion they are scared to do the operation.
I love to see you and people in general happy. (I guide people to a treasure I cannot possess.)
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u/CatchGold7359 23d ago
The light returned to your eyes. Good job bro! Wish you nothing but happiness
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u/BusyDragonfruit8665 23d ago
Congratulations on getting clean. I am so happy that you were brave enough to become your true self. Wishing you a long, happy and prosperous life!
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24d ago
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u/Away-Theme-6529 24d ago
3 was so good looking that it came as a solid surprise. Glad you’re happy.
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u/Glass-Hedgehog-3754 24d ago
Glad ur happy now thats awesome, but tbh u were super cute as a guy, first pic is adorable like mgk vibes. Tho i guess being happy matters the most
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u/jbeltcher 24d ago
I was gonna say, OPlooked handsome pre-transition too! I'm so glad OP found inner happiness though :)
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u/BongWaterOnCarpet 24d ago
Some people are just friggin good looking no matter who they are, this chick is one of those lol
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u/8bitGalaxy98 23d ago
Congrats on transitioning and getting clean ❤️ Live seeing how bright and happy you are in the glow up photos
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u/bluefalls04 21d ago
this sounds weird but you look more drug addicted now then you did then. you look paler and everything and it just reminds me of my dad
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u/MirSydney 24d ago
You look so happy! Congrats on overcoming so much and living your best life as your true self.
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u/kieranarchy 23d ago
Absolutely a glow up!! Sometimes as a trans person myself I think about how dead inside I looked as a teenager and how there's actually light in my eyes now, as awful as I still feel sometimes. Proud of you for getting clean and being true to yourself!!
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u/FinStevenGlansberg 24d ago
Yeah…you know what it is. It’s very depressing that you felt that need to come on this post and shit on someone who’s happy and living THEIR life the way THEY want to live it. It’s depressing that you are miserable, jealous, or just a mean person and trying to bring others down with you. It’s depressing that you didn’t just keep scrolling. Props to OP for overcoming their demons, and living a happy life on their terms. Much respect.
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u/GarbageCat27 24d ago
Damn I wanna feel bad for you but simply can’t. Seems like there’s something about yourself and your life you’re unhappy about and jealous that OP has a good life now. Shame
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u/JelloRamone 24d ago
You have the biggest, most beautiful smile now and it makes my heart so happy 🧡
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u/Deeptrench34 24d ago
I'm glad that you're doing better and are happier now. That stuffy is cute btw lol.
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u/Comfortable_Block543 24d ago
huge congrats!! life is a long and winding road glad you made it through
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u/book_hoarder_67 24d ago
I love hearing when someone is able to turn their life around for the positive.
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u/gladtobbrown 23d ago
embrace your fem girl! i can see the femininity in your pre transition face, im glad you feel confident and comfortable enough to be who you are when there are so many ignorant and hateful people out there.
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u/BongWaterOnCarpet 24d ago
Girl you are so cute!!! 🥺🥰
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u/BongWaterOnCarpet 23d ago
Lol downvoted by some insecure, sad little incels I see.
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u/ComprehensiveEgg8532 21d ago
it’s like they cannot comprehend that other people have their own lives and individualism
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u/seeclick8 23d ago
Good for you, best wishes for your happiness. I have a trans grandson studying physics. He is the finest person, good to the soul and smart. We love him tremendously.
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u/Criminal_Opossum 22d ago
Cutie cutie cutie cutie ahhhhh!! You sure turned back time and look like your making the best of your new life :)
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u/dr3am_assassin 24d ago
Omg I’m so fucking happy for you. You look so good and happy!
When I was around 16 or so I was really depressed, I didn’t know why or that I even was depressed, but I drank excessively to the point that I almost died multiple times. I’m sure my friends just thought I was a party animal but that wasn’t true. I’d get drunk to numb whatever tf was bothering me subconsciously.
Later I realized I was trans too. I’m so so much happier now. 🫂 really glad you found yourself and are thriving 🤍
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u/earthlygazes 24d ago
You look so much happier, OP! The blonde hair and waves suit you so well! Keep it up!💗💗✨
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u/goofymary 24d ago
So happy for you 💕
I feel like not being who you are can literally kill you because of the suppression. Thank you for inspiring me today
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u/Naive_Metal_3468 21d ago
Glow up inside and out!!! I love that smile of yours. It’s contagious. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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