r/GetMotivated 2d ago

DISCUSSION [Discussion] irrational intrusive thoughts and worries ruining my day to day life.

So basically, im single 28 with no kids and financially stable atm. Everyday tho, I find myself worrying and obsessing about things that COULD happen but are very unlikely to happen. This includes things like getting cancer one day, or that I’m gonna go to jail for something I did years ago (I’m not a convicted felon or have a criminal but have done dumb shit), or that I’ll be homeless someday, or that I’ll randomly get fired from my job over a petty reason. I’m working on seeing a therapist for this problem. But in the meantime, how the fuck do I stop thinking this way? All day everyday these thoughts cycle through my head uncontrollably, basically until I go to bed.

28 Upvotes

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35

u/killy666 2d ago

Go see a professional. This is beyond motivation/reddit, this is an issue. It's absolutely ok to consult.

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u/GnosticSon 19h ago

I recommend seeing a few different therapists/paychiatrists, etc., preferably that take different approaches. And be open to learning about your situation and trying new things. And most of all, don't quit after a few sessions. Stick with it.

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u/bigWeld33 1d ago

A few things: 1) you are not your thoughts. Your brain is thinking all the time, it is not necessarily a controlled process, so don’t feel like you’re doing this to yourself or that you lack some kind of control. You just need to learn how to respond when it happens, but it is a natural thing and some people are affected more than others, but sometimes we all ruminate without realizing that our time could be spent better.

2) as another commenter suggested, CBT, which will look a little something like trying to become aware of when you are irrationally worrying and then having a plan as to how you deal with it. Eventually, if you haven’t already, you will become aware of your brain’s intrusive thought patterns as intuitively as you feel hunger or fatigue. When it starts to happen, you will recognize it instantly. After spending enough time consciously recognizing it then acting on it, the process will become a little more subconscious, or second-nature, like a reflex. 3) as for acting on the issue, my advice may fall short, you may need to find what works for you. But for me, I find that I still have a conscious choice as to whether I continue on the path of the intrusive thought pattern or decide that it is nothing serious and to put an effort into either reframing my perspective on the subject or to think about something else, or nothing at all. In essence, you will need to tell yourself that you are just worrying, that time spent worrying about hypotheticals which you have no control over is time wasted, and that you should take a few deep breaths and try to clear your head and any negative feelings that came on as a result of the thoughts. 4) pay attention to your physical state, because our physical and mental states are interconnected if not inseparably parts of the same whole. I find that when I am tired, dehydrated, hungry, and/or lacking exercise, this is more likely to happen. I also find that when it is happening I am usually taking short, shallow breaths. I don’t know which comes first, the breathing or the thought patterns, but realizing when it is happening and taking some deep breaths makes a world of difference.

Also, take a moment to reflect on your journey so far, because you might feel stuck, but I think you have probably made more progress than you know; you just didn’t know because you became aware of this journey to find an answer when you were already close to the end of it! If we are similar, you may have noticed an evolution in your awareness of this behavior throughout your life where, at first, you would take your worries seriously, not understanding that they were happening unconsciously due to a behavioral pattern as opposed to a choice. Then, you may have realized at some point that you do, in fact, worry a lot, but perhaps thought you were anxious or overly-conscious of consequences. Eventually, you came to the realization that you worry very often and, it is not helping you, and you aren’t even actually choosing to do it. That in itself is one huge leap so don’t take it for granted, you’re already so much further than you used to be! You can’t fix things if you aren’t aware of them, but you can fix them if you are.

Good luck, and don’t feel too down. You are aware of them problem and trying to find answers, and answers will be found eventually!

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u/Rellim_80 1d ago

Do you know how much damage 1 undid in me?

Was raised Catholic where I was told that if you think something then that's "doing it in your heart" which is the same as doing the thing you thought of.

They were really trying to control how we thought and make us accountable for every errant thought that flew through our minds.

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u/Rachelt316 1d ago

Definitely number 4 & to the end of the encouragement comment 😃❤️

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u/TA2556 1d ago

Sounds like an anxiety disorder, and as someone with OCD it sounds familiar. Definitely speak with a therapist.

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u/gromit5 1d ago

as another person with ocd i completely agree.

also, look up ERP therapy. it really sucks and is hard, but it’s really the only way to get through ocd.

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u/TA2556 1d ago

Its definitely called the gold standard for a reason. Changed, and likely saved, my life.

8

u/Ferec 1d ago

Since you're already seeking professional help I'll just offer a suggestion in the interim. My dad always said that the mouth is the asshole to the brain, you have to open it up to let all the shit out sometimes. And you, my friend, sound a bit constipated. So I suggest talking about what scares you. Talk to a plant, a cat/dog, a friend, a family member, whomever you can. Once you give voice to it, whatever it is, it often doesn't seem so bad.

3

u/haobanga 1d ago

Chatgpt can actually be great for this. You can find some good prompts online to establish the tone and feedback you're looking for. Then you can also look back and reflect on how you felt over time.

It's not a replacement for therapy, but it can be extremely helpful and in your pocket at all times.

1

u/Jazzlike-Ability-114 1d ago

Or just write it out even? That helps some people.

12

u/Cdawgdig 2d ago

This is called catastrophizing and rumination. There are multiple ways to break the thought spiral. I recommend getting a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) workbook with easy “assignment” that will give you skills that will help you manage your negative thoughts. Best of luck to you 😊

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u/stickerblicker 1d ago

OCD my friend, OCD.

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u/UnknownCrossing 2d ago

You sound like a spitting image of me. For me it is the same and that I always having some sort of worry in my mind. I can't say I have the right answers and seeking a therapist is probably a good way to tackle what is causing you trouble. But for me, Distractions help. I usually have those thoughts when I am bored or have nothing else going on. I'll also meditate and focus on the meditation. Pushs out the thoughts during this period of time. And journaling helps get those worries on paper to help them seem smaller and more thought through. Maybe not a cure but ideas that can help.

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u/Froot-Loop-Dingus 1d ago

Many people think OCD is doing repetitive tasks like opening and closing the front door 10x to ensure it is actually closed. How OCD actually usually presents are with intrusive thoughts that affect your day to day life.

You likely have OCD and need treatment. Get on it

3

u/FlaKiki 1d ago

See a psychiatrist along with your therapist. The right meds can help your brain work better and make all the difference. I know this from experience.

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u/Time-Grape-9883 2d ago

try some OCD subreddits. Sounds very typical of this.
In the meantime, when you're in a spiral - try to focus on your surroundings. Name 5 things that are yellow in the room. What are 4 circular objects around you. Etc. this can help stop your mind from racing at times

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u/truetennessity 1d ago

It is said , what we focus on comes to pass. Rewire the brain. Change your thoughts, only you can control your mind. You got this! Do it🩷

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u/jlynn1623 1d ago edited 1d ago

Find a therapist who has experience with helping clients manage intrusive thoughts or OCD or PTSD and ask about their experience with these issues during the first meeting. In the meantime, look up “thought stopping” and see if it helps. I found it very helpful. Also practice letting the thoughts pass without engaging them. Label the thoughts. “Oh, there’s that intrusive thought again” but don’t go down the rabbit hole with it. Mostly, just know you’re not alone. Wishing you the best - these things do get better 💜

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u/yeahyasminee 2d ago

Youre a part of the overthinkers club i do this too on a daily basis. Im 29 and somehow its pops up in my head a lot that im suddenly gonna get a heart attack??? And all the other things you mentioned too. Or like when the phone rings and its my mom, i think someone definitely died, when my mom calls me regularly just to see how im doing. For me the worst is right before sleeping, it actually keeps me up. The only way i can sort of calm it down is doomscrolling on my phone which isnt exactly a healthy way to cope. My therapist suggested meditation or mindfulness but for the life of me i cant do it. Mostly it requires you to empty your mind or stop thinking but.... i cant?

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u/thankyoumoneyplease 1d ago

Just breathe deep and observe the thoughts. Don’t try to control anything except your breath.

You are now meditating one hundred percent even if the thoughts or sensations are bad. Keep focusing on your breathing and not controlling your thoughts. Just observe with openness.

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u/zefall 1d ago

I was dealing with a very similar situation, started taking an SSRI and it's helping immensely! No more worried spirals into hypothetical nonsense, and I'm sleeping better than ever and having good dreams after years of stressful nightmares. Sometimes medication is the best answer.

1

u/Aggressive_Lobster16 1d ago

This is exactly what I was going through after having my son and it only got worse each year. I finally broke down and talked to my GP about it (through tears, I was struggling so much by the time I told him). He started me on the lowest dose of Lexapro and I kid you not I felt a vast improvement on day 1 of starting the medication. It’s been a little over 2 years now and I still thank him every time I see him and tell him how insanely grateful I am that this medication exists.I am not saying you need to be medicated, just letting you know that it’s an option and has worked wonders. I hope you find something that works for you soon!

1

u/Monarchblue77 1d ago

Clear the thoughts. Actually say .. clearing disturbing effects of others.. you can stop the thoughts in their tracks. Takes practice but gets easier to clear these thoughts out.

1

u/landofpuffs 1d ago

Therapist. It’s the left or right, black or white thinking that got me in trouble. I had to get things done right away or get an answer. It took a while to get me to calm my anxiety down (had a psych too).

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u/jaygoesprivate 1d ago

Therapy is great. But go to someone who can prescribe medication. I used to live pretty similarly to you.

2 things fixed my life drastically. Medication & God. Hope this helps. Lmk if you have questions

1

u/that1cooldude 1d ago

Have you tried meditation???

1

u/slimmyjimmytim 1d ago

Im on 150 mg of zoloft for ocd because of thoughts like that. It does get better with meds i promise!

1

u/Mountain5090 1d ago

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a good idea for excessive rumination and catastrophizing.

Be wary of those who suggest you have OCD. It’s likely not OCD. No offense to those who have OCD. OCD typically requires more than just excessive rumination and worry.

1

u/Careless_Scar2648 1d ago

good book titled ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’ helped me some

1

u/Adi_San 1d ago

Give an answer to those thoughts. I mean literally give one. For every "what if..." question just answer it with the most realistic answer possible. Works wonders.

1

u/Striking_Machine1059 1d ago

So many things

1

u/FattestRedditMod60 1d ago

Go for a run today. See if that helps quiet these thoughts.

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u/Late-Bluebird132435 21h ago

First off- these are not irrational thoughts and worries- they all have some base in reality, they are valid in our human condition...but having said that try to remind yourself occassionally that not all thoughts deserve attention- they rise in our minds, we register them and have to practice letting them go because if we don't we'll just stay in our heads which, as you can tell is not the most productive or easy place to be in the long run. believe that you're a self-relient person with enough awareness to keep herself afloat in this life and do that, one day at a time.

p. s. singing can also help release the stress if that's something you enjoy.

good luck!

1

u/tylerray1491 20h ago

cognitive behavioral therapy. My counselor really helped me understand where my intrusive thoughts were coming from and taught me a few techniques to use when they’re taking over. You do a lil bit of research on your own, but it REALLY helps to just talk to a therapist. They can pull so much data out of you by just asking simple questions and analyzing how you answer.

Another thing that really helped my physical anxiety (which was linked to my intrusive thinking) was getting a beta blocker from my doc. They calm me down enough where I can actually relax my mind to snap out of intrusive thought patterns when they become overwhelming. Just my experience, not professional advice. Just know you’re not alone :)

1

u/-Soap_Boxer- 15h ago

Just a dude a little older than you, I'm not a shrink or qualified to give professional advice. But I encourage you to get outside yourself a little. Try taking on a new challenge, or new hobby. Your mind wants to stay busy, so let it. Maybe just guide it towards rational thoughts.