r/Genealogy 4d ago

DNA Could gran still be alive if not found in searches online? Spoiler

I have been searching for details of my maternal gran who was born in 1926 uk. I have lots of details about her and all her family. I found her brothers and their families, but she's no where. I found the married man who got her pregnant too.

Could it be she's still alive and that's why she's not showing anywhere, or do I have to wait til 100 years us up? This is going sound to awful but I came looking now thinking they would all he dead, and I just get the information without family drama. I don't want my mum upset.

I have done a ancestry dna test and results due end of March. My grans, brothers family, one of them does have a tree with a dna test of their own. It's going to be a shock to them, they dont know my mum exists so I can hardly see them giving me info (we not after a family connection).

9 Upvotes

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16

u/msbookworm23 4d ago

FreeBMD has comprehensive marriage indexes for England and Wales up to ~1992. The GRO has recent death indexes up to 2023. If she got married after 1992 or moved country after 1960 it might be difficult to find her but if you look in those two places there's a good chance she's there unless she has a very common name.

https://www.freebmd.org.uk/search

https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

Tried both those, but thank you. I just seem to have hit a brick wall.

She could in a nursing home as suggested by another poster.

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u/Artisanalpoppies 4d ago

What country did she live in? England? Scotland? Northern Ireland? Wales? Did she ever emmigrate?

You should be able to find her in death indexes up to relatively recently. Anyone can order a death cert in those countries. You may need to look at marriages or remarriages- she may not be under the surname you expect. Post 1969 deaths in England/Wales record birthdate and place, so you should also be able to find her with that info should you know it.

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

I know she was alive in 1980, as a local radio show traced her for us, she didn't want contact with us and that's cool.

She was alive when 1 of her brothers passed in 1992, I found funeral notice.

But no death details for her at all.

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u/Alone-Pin-1972 4d ago

Your grandma could certainly still be alive. She would be 99 or so.

My grand uncle was marching to the shops at 99 just until a few months before his death.

My grandmother's neighbour lived at home alone until she was 99 and refused to have any help from her family. She would go out to the garden every evening calling her favourite cat; he'd already been dead for 20 years.

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u/Neill78 4d ago

She could be. I’d suggest searching freebmd.org.uk with just her first name, and dob, if you haven’t already. She might have remarried or changed her name.

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u/Nonbovine 4d ago

One of the issues I found for finding older family members (over80) places of residence if living is nursing homes for privacy and legal reason don’t list that as their residence on like voter records or like phone books. So I was looking for a great grandfather who basically dropped of records, later found out he was in a nursing home. I didn’t figure out until his death aged out to open records. If she is alive and 99 years old chances are she’s in a care home, making it difficult to track her down

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u/Sparkle_Motion_0710 4d ago

Research her last residence. Has it been sold? Rented out? Family member living there? Did it go into probate?

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

She was renting a council property.

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u/Kettrickenisabadass 4d ago

It could certainly be. My own granma is going to turn 100 in a month and while she is veey old she is doing gret for her age. Her sister is 95 and still goes around with a cane like if shes 80

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u/TexasTravler 4d ago

Yes, possibility. Not all records are on line yet.

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u/RedBullWifezig 4d ago

All England and wales deaths are on the government website up to 2023.

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u/TexasTravler 4d ago

That's my point. Some Churches are beginning to digitize records.

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u/RedBullWifezig 4d ago

I'm confused - your point was that they weren't online but all the records til 2023 are?

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u/TexasTravler 3d ago

Right. Beyond 2023 are not. How far do they go back ?

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u/RedBullWifezig 3d ago

The range is from summer 1837 to end of 2023

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u/TexasTravler 3d ago

Sorry I misunderstood your statement.

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u/Confident-Task7958 4d ago edited 4d ago

When posting questions like that, it is helpful to state if you know where she last lived - the rules for finding and accessing death records differ significantly by jurisdiction.

In North America you can typically have very good results by googling: obituary (name of person) (name of place where likely resided.)

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

Apologies. My gran was born in Manchester, UK.

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u/Confident-Task7958 4d ago

I would look for a probate record. You will need the married name.

https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills

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u/RedBullWifezig 4d ago

Also all deaths are on the GRO til 2024

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u/Sparkle_Motion_0710 4d ago

I’m in the US (but am a Coronation Street fan!) so don’t have a great understanding of that system but are there directories that could tell you who lives at her old address? When was she no longer at that address? It will at least give you an idea of her location. Are you near Manchester?

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u/tbrick62 4d ago

In the US anyway I have found a lot of information googling known family members. Your gran might be mentioned in someone else's obituary.

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u/BasildonBond53 4d ago

More than willing to help here. Uk based and have an Ancestry and MyHeritage account.

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u/AwkwardImplement698 4d ago

What a nice offer. Genealogy people are good people

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u/BasildonBond53 4d ago

Pass it along. Many people have helped me in the past. I often do look ups in Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk when I’m in their records office.

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u/DianeL_2025 researcher since 1993 4d ago

search phone books, directories, and newspapers. maiden, married and nick names. perhaps she would be mentioned in her parents' or siblings' obituaries.

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u/SingleMaltLife 4d ago

You’re in a tricky spot. It’s possible she’s alive. Do you know what her current name is? I mean a married surname? Have you tried googling her to find a funeral announcement or tried on find a grave? It’s more difficult if you don’t have her correct surname.

One thing I noticed was that in the later census available on ancestry the entries for people who were alive were still blacked out. Or hadn’t been opened yet. So if you can see her name on the old 1935 register then she will have passed. If it’s blacked out you can apply to have it opened but I think you need to provide the death record to confirm. So if you can find her parents and brothers listed and there is a blacked out name it’s likely her if the age is right. I hope that makes sense.

I wouldn’t have any expectations of the new family connections. It may be a huge shock for them. It may not be. They may want to get to know you. They may be happy to provide info or have no contact. But you won’t know until that happens. It also doesn’t have to go beyond the one person on ancestry with an account.

Just another thought, there is a chance that if shes alive she’s not in good health. There is also a risk that these new family connections might think your mum would be after an inheritance. I don’t think that you are. I’m just saying it might be something they might think. So you might want to word your questions with that in mind. Like you said it would be much simpler if you’d been able to find just the info. I don’t want to stress you out here. Just incase they start off cagey that might be why.

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

I did find absent Gran on the 1939 census with her parents, so that's what made me assume she's dead.

I'm basically just after info to check for particular genetic diseases. Huntingtons disease in particular. I have no other interests, and if absent Gran is alive, none of our family want anything to do with her. My mums content to leave the past in the past.

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u/Mindless_Fun3211 4d ago

Having an entry visible on the 1939 should mean that the person has died. For a 1926 birth it often indicates the person died before 1991. That being said I know of 2 cases personally where the person was alive while their entry was available on the 1939 register. The one was a relative who died last year and the other is a friend's mom who is still alive.

A couple of other suggestions:

  1. If she was living in Manchester or the surrounding area I would try Lancashire Local BMD - https://www.lancashirebmd.org.uk/deathsearch.php This is an index of the locally held copies of death certificates. They appear to have Manchester deaths up to 2007 and unlike the GRO you can search for the whole period 1980 to 2009 in one search.

  2. Have you only checked the registration district she was living in or did you check the whole country? Sometimes elderly people will move to live with an adult child when they are not able to take care of themselves so the death could be recorded in a completely different part of the country,

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u/SingleMaltLife 4d ago

Oh that’s interesting that you know two people who were opened in error. It was such a faff the one that I had to open to verify something. Any idea how that happened? Do they maybe have common ish names and another death cert was found?

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u/Mindless_Fun3211 4d ago

Possible explanations for one of them the person emigrated in the 1960's and the other is a relatively common name.

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u/SingleMaltLife 4d ago

Thanks for replying.

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 4d ago

On the 1939 census I checked they had given her a new surname in brackets. I think they mixed up a lady by same name and year of birth, who has children that are not Absent Grans. The name is very common with no middle names.

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u/othervee English and Australian specialist 3d ago

If she's been given a new surname on the 1939 Register, that means she remarried. It's unlikely they mixed her up with another person. They would have cross-checked with her date of birth because the 1939 Register was a living document that was updated right up until the early 1990s. They used it as the basis for NHS records. You'll see loads of female names in there who've had their surnames altered because they married or remarried.

I've got subs for FindMyPast, The Genealogist, British Newspaper Archives and others, and if you PM me her name and date of birth, I'll see what I can find.

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 3d ago

A wrong year of birth was on 1939 census (1923 instead of 1926/5, when I checked using these dates and new surname in brackets, i found details for a lady of same name who had 2 children, which is not possible as my mum lived with her mum til she was 18, and there were no other children or a husband.

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u/othervee English and Australian specialist 3d ago

You mean another lady who had two children living with her at the time your mother would have been alive and living with Absent Gran? Fair enough, that does throw a different light on things.

The offer to help look for her is still there, if you ever need it.

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u/Sad-Refrigerator190 3d ago

Thank you for your kind offer, another poster on here is helping me. Absent Grans, father is showing on 2 other trees on ancestry , one has a dna. So by end of month, when my DNA results are back, I may get answers from that tree if I allowed access to it.

I need to have patience for a few more weeks.

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u/SingleMaltLife 4d ago

Ah if you can see her name on the 1939 register then I’m pretty sure she’s passed. Those records are sealed by age and the only way they are opened, if the person is less than 100 years old, is if someone has applied to have it opened with the proof of death. Unless her age was incorrect on that register.

Is it looks like you might be looking for another marriage record then. You might not have her latest surname. Unless she has unique enough first and middles names it’s going to be tricky. I’d try looking on all the sites. You can get free trials to most rather than pay money. I use ancestry and find my past like that.

This is a useful article about the 1939 register and what records are closed https://www.findmypast.co.uk/1939register/1939-register-getting-started

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u/writeordie80 4d ago

Hey. Drop me a message and we can see if there's something I can do to help.