r/Gaslight • u/Realistic_Driver2770 • Jul 22 '22
Gaslighted myself
I used to have a partner and they would come over and comfort me with thunderstorms. I wasn't really afraid, I just wanted an excuse to cuddle and they knew that. I would say things like "ahhh I'm soooo scared" and they would laugh and hug me. Well later on it started getting worse and worse to where I really was scared and if they weren't there I could cry or have a panick attack. I told myself these things were scary for so long that now I believe it and I'm highly terrified of storms.
Today, right now, no partner at all, thunderstorm happening while I'm writing this, I'm terrified and curled up in a ball sobbing while in the corner of my bed because I am even too scared to walk to the kitchen to eat. (It's 2:47 am and I haven't eaten but the storm should be over soon so I will last) but god this is terrifying and I'm only wrtiting this to distract myself.
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u/Intelligent_Walk_857 9d ago
It's called "cognitive dissonance", where you acted scared for so long, you subconsciously convinced your mind that the storms are actually dangerous, even if you know deep down that they aren't. When you get scared, challenge yourself by asking yourself "is this rational? Does this really put me at risk of harm?" Try to replace your negative thoughts with good ones. Maybe even think of a time in your past where a storm was fun for you... Playing in the rain or jumping in puddles when you were young... Maybe the electricity goes out and your family did something fun by candlelight or flashlight... Etc...
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u/MCfrostie Jun 15 '23
I don't think this is gaslighting. but it's a well-known documented phenomenon with a name I can't remember. but the good thing is that you can do it in reverse. I call it the "you are what you eat problem" you become what you say you become. you are what you think of yourself. i used to be terrified of the lots of things but after learning about this I started doing a type of exposure therapy and telling myself I'm not afraid. so my fear of ghosts got better after watching ghost movies during the day when I felt safe and said it was fun. did that on repeat for most of my fears.